by Lynne Graham
Artie lay with him in the peaceful aftermath, her thoughts drifting… The boundaries between the physical and the emotional were becoming increasingly blurred. She knew she would always remember this moment as a pivotal one in her life as a woman.
Luca Ferrantelli. Her husband. Her first lover.
The presence of his body, the desire that drew them together bonded her to him in a way that was beyond the physical. The chemistry between her and Luca was so powerful, so magical it had produced a cataclysmic reaction. An explosion of pleasure she could still feel reverberating throughout her body.
How could she have thought he was arrogant and unyielding? He had taken such respectful care of her every step of the way. He had held back his own release in order to make sure she was satisfied first. She couldn’t have asked for a more considerate and generous lover.
But it didn’t mean she was falling in love with him.
Artie knew the rules and had accepted them. She could be modern and hip about their arrangement. Sure she could. This was about a physical connection so intense, so rapturous she wanted to make the most of it.
Luca leaned up on one elbow and slowly withdrew from her body, carefully disposing of the condom. He rolled back to cradle one side of her face with his hand, his eyes searching hers. ‘How do you feel?’ His voice had a husky edge, his expression tender in a way she hadn’t been expecting. Had he too been affected by her first time and their first time together?
‘I’m fine.’
A frown pulled at his brow. ‘I didn’t hurt you?’
‘Not at all.’ She smoothed away his frown with her fingertip. ‘Thanks for being so gentle with me.’
His hand brushed back the hair from her face in the tenderest of movements. ‘Your enjoyment is top priority for me. I don’t want you to feel you ever have to service my needs above your own.’
Artie ran her fingertip over the fullness of his bottom lip, not quite able to meet his gaze. ‘Was it good for you too?’
He tipped up her chin and smiled, and her chest felt like it was cracking open. ‘Off the charts.’ He leaned down to press a soft, lingering kiss to her lips. He lifted off again, his expression becoming thoughtful. ‘I’ve never been a virgin trophy hunter. A woman’s virginity is not something I consider a prize to be claimed or a conquest to be sought.’ He captured a loose strand of her hair and tucked it back behind her ear. ‘But I have to say I feel privileged to have made love with you.’
Artie wrapped her arms around his waist and leaned her cheek against the wall of his chest. ‘I feel privileged too. You made it so special.’
There was a moment or two of silence.
Luca stroked his hand down between Artie’s shoulder blades to the base of her spine. ‘I should let you get up and get dressed.’
Artie lifted her head off his chest to smile at him. ‘Is that what you really want me to do right now?’
He grinned and pressed her back down on the bed with his weight playfully pinning her. ‘Not right now.’ And he brought his mouth back down to hers.
CHAPTER EIGHT
LATER THAT MORNING, Luca had to convince himself to get out of bed with Artie. He couldn’t remember a time when he had spent a morning more pleasurably. Making love with her for the first time had affected him in a way he hadn’t been expecting. The mutual passion they had shared had been beyond anything he had experienced before. And that was deeply troubling.
Why was it so special? Because she was innocent and he so worldly and jaded that making love with her was something completely different from the shallow hook-ups he preferred? Or was it the exquisite feel of her skin next to his? Her mouth beneath his? Her touch, her sighs, her gasps and cries that made him feel more of a man than he ever had before?
The trust she had shown in him had touched him deeply. And he had honoured that trust by making sure she was completely satisfied, and yet his own satisfaction had risen to a whole new level of experience. It was as if his body had been asleep before now. Operating on a lower setting that didn’t fully register all the nuances of mind-blowing sex. The glide of soft hands on his body, the velvet-soft press of lips on his heated skin, the delicious friction of female flesh against him. Every moment was imprinted on his brain, every kiss, every touch branded on his body.
And he wanted it to continue, which was the most troubling thought of all. He, who never stayed with a lover longer than a week or two. He, who never envisaged a future with anyone. He, who had locked down his emotions so long ago he didn’t think he had the capacity to feel anything for anyone any more.
And yet…
Every time Artie looked at him with those big brown eyes, something tugged in his chest. Every time her pillow-soft lips met his, fire spread through his body, a raging fire of lust and longing unlike any he had felt before. Every time she smiled it was like encountering sunshine after a lifetime of darkness.
Luca swung his legs over the side of the bed before he was tempted to make love to her for the third time. He turned and held out a hand to her. ‘Come on. Time for some more exposure therapy.’
Artie unfolded her limbs and stood in front of him, her hands going to his hips, sending his blood racing. Her eyes were bright and sparkling, her lips swollen from his kisses. ‘Let’s stay here instead. It’ll be more fun.’
Luca gave her a stern look. Exposure therapy was well known to be the pits the first few times but it still had to be endured for results. ‘Cara, you’re procrastinating. It’s classic avoidance behaviour and it will only make things worse.’
Her gaze lost its playful spark and her mouth tightened. Her hands fell away from his hips and she turned and snatched up a loose bed sheet and covered her nakedness, as if she was suddenly ashamed of her body. ‘Last time I looked, you were my temporary husband and lover, not my therapist. I don’t appreciate you trying to fix me.’
Luca suppressed a frustrated sigh. ‘I’m not trying to fix you, cara. I’m trying to help you gain the courage to go a little further each day. I’ll be with you all the time and I won’t push you into doing anything you don’t want to do. You can trust me, okay?’
Her teeth chewed at her lower lip, her gaze still guarded. ‘Look, I know you mean well, but we tried it before and I failed.’
‘That doesn’t mean you’ll fail today.’
There was a long moment of silence.
Artie released a long, shuddering breath. ‘Okay… I’ll give it another try.’ She swallowed and glanced at him, her cheeks tinged with pink. ‘Do you mind if I have a quick shower first?’
Luca waved his hand towards the bathroom. ‘Go right ahead. I’ll meet you downstairs in half an hour.’ He needed to put some space between them before he was tempted to join her in the shower.
She walked to the door of the bathroom, then stopped and turned to look back at him with a frown between her eyes. ‘Did you only make love to me to make me more amenable to going outside the castello grounds with you?’
‘I made love with you because I wanted you and you wanted me.’
And I still want you. Badly.
Her teeth did another nibble of her lip, uncertainty etched on her features. ‘I hope I don’t disappoint you this time…’
Luca came over to her and tipped up her chin and planted a soft kiss to her lips. ‘You could never disappoint me.’
* * *
Artie showered and changed with her mind reeling at what Luca wanted her to do. She had failed so many times. Why should this time be any different? Panic flapped its wings in her brain and her belly, fear chilled her skin and sent a tremble through her legs. But she took comfort in the fact he promised to stay with her, to support her as she confronted her fear—a fear she had lived with so long it was a part of her identity. She literally didn’t know who she was now without it. But making love with Luca had given her the confidence to step outside her comfort z
one. Her skin still sang with the magic of his touch, the slightly tender muscles in her core reminding her of the power and potency of his body.
Luca was waiting for her downstairs and took her hand at the front door. ‘Ready? Our goal is to go farther than we went yesterday—even if we don’t make it outside the gates it will still be an improvement. That’s the way to approach difficult tasks—break them up into smaller, achievable segments.’
Artie drew in a shaky breath, her chest feeling as if a flock of frightened finches were trapped inside. ‘Sounds like a sensible plan. Okay, let’s give it a go.’
The sun was shining and white fluffy clouds were scudding across the sky. A light breeze scented with old-world roses danced past Artie’s face. Luca’s fingers wrapped around hers, strong, warm, supportive, and she glanced up at him and gave a wobbly smile. ‘Thanks for being so patient.’
He looped her arm through his, holding her close as they walked slowly but surely down the cobbled footpath to the wrought-iron front gates. ‘I probably made you go too fast the first time. Let’s slow it down a bit. We’ve got plenty of time to stop and smell the roses.’
Artie walked beside him and tried to concentrate on the spicy fragrance of the roses rather than the fear crawling over her skin. She was conscious of Luca’s muscular arm linked with hers and the way he matched his stride to hers. She flicked him another self-conscious glance. ‘You must think this is completely ridiculous. That I’m completely ridiculous.’
He gave her a light squeeze. ‘I don’t think that at all. Fear is a very powerful emotion. It can be paralysing. Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of—’
‘Commitment,’ Artie offered.
There was a slight pause before he answered. ‘That too.’
‘Fear of love.’ She was on a roll, hardly noticing how many cobblestones there were to go to the front gate.
There was another silence, longer this time, punctured only by the sound of the whispering breeze and twittering birds in the overgrown shrubbery.
‘Fear of not being capable of loving.’ His tone contained a rueful note.
Artie stopped walking to look up at his mask-like expression. ‘Why do you think you’re not capable of loving someone? You love your grandfather, don’t you?’
Luca gave a twisted smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. ‘Familial love is an entirely different sort of love. However, choosing to love someone for the rest of my life is not something I feel capable of doing. I would only end up hurting them by letting them down in the end.’
‘But is loving someone a choice?’ Artie asked. ‘I mean, I haven’t fallen in love myself but I’ve always understood it to be outside of one’s control. It just happens.’
He captured a loose tendril of her hair and tucked it back behind her ear. His touch was light and yet electrifying, his gaze dark and inscrutable. ‘A lucky few find love for a lifetime. But some lives are tragically cut short and then that same love becomes a torture for the one left behind.’
‘Is that what happened to your mother?’
Luca’s gaze drifted into the distance, his expression becoming shadowed. ‘I will never forget the look of utter devastation on my mother’s face when she was told my father and brother had drowned. She didn’t come with us that day and when only I came home…’ He swallowed tightly and continued in a tone rough and husky with banked-down emotion. ‘For months, years, she couldn’t look at me without crying. I found it easier to keep my distance. I hated seeing her like that, knowing I was responsible for what happened.’
Artie wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him. ‘Oh, Luca, you have to learn to forgive yourself. I’m sure your mother doesn’t blame you. You were a young teenager. She was probably relieved you hadn’t been taken as well. It could have happened. You could have all been drowned.’
He eased out of her hug and gave her a grim look. ‘There were times in the early days when I wished I had been taken with them. But then I realised I owed it to my father and brother to live the best life I could to honour them.’
A life of hard work. A life with no love. No commitment. No emotional vulnerability. A life of isolation…not unlike her own.
A life of isolation she would go back to once their marriage was over.
Artie glanced at the front gates of the castello and drew in a shuddering breath. The verdigris-covered gates blurred in front of her into a grotesque vision of blue and green twisted metal. The sun disappeared behind a cloud and the birds suddenly went quiet as if disturbed by a menacing predator lurking in the shadows.
‘Luca, I don’t think I can go any further…’
He took her hand and looped her arm through his once more. ‘You’ll be fine. We’re almost there. We’ve gone farther than yesterday. Just a few more steps and we’ll be—’
‘No.’ Artie pulled out of his hold and took a few stumbling steps back towards the castello. ‘I can’t.’
Luca captured her by the wrist and brought her back to face him, his expression concerned. ‘Whoa there. Slow down or you’ll trip and twist your ankle.’
Her chest was so restricted she couldn’t take a breath. Her stomach was churning, her knees shaking, her skin breaking out in a clammy sweat. She closed her eyes and a school of silverfish swam behind her eyelids. She opened her eyes but she couldn’t see past the sting of tears. She tried to gulp in a breath but her throat wouldn’t open enough for it to get through.
I’m going to die. I’m going to die. I’m going to die.
The words raced through her mind as if they were being chased by the formless fear that consumed her.
Luca gathered her close to his chest and stroked her stiff back and shoulders with slow, soothing strokes. ‘Breathe, cara. Take a deep breath and let it out on the count of three. One. Two. Three. And again. One. Two. Three. Keep going, mia piccola. One. Two. Three.’
His gently chanted words and the stroke of his hands began to quieten the storm inside her body. The fog in Artie’s brain slowly lifted, the fear gradually subsiding as the oxygen returned to her bloodstream.
She was aware of every point of contact with his body—her breasts pressed against his chest, the weight of his arm around her back, his other hand moving up and down between her shoulder blades in those wonderfully soothing strokes, his pelvis warm and unmistakably male against hers, his chin resting on the top of her head. She was aware of the steady thud, thud, thud of his heart against her chest, the intoxicating smell of his skin, the need awakening anew in her body. Pulses, contractions, flickers and tingles deep in her core.
Luca lifted his chin off her head and held her slightly aloft, his gaze tender. ‘You did well—it’s only our second try. Don’t feel bad you didn’t make it all the way. We’ll try again tomorrow.’
Artie chewed her lip, ashamed she hadn’t gone further. ‘What if I’m never able to do it? What if I—?’
His finger pressed softly down on her lips to silence her self-destruction beliefs. ‘Don’t talk yourself into failure, cara. I know you can do it. You want to get better and that’s half the battle, is it not?’
Artie gave a tremulous smile, heartened by his belief in her. Comforted by his commitment to helping her. Touched by his concern and patience and support. ‘I do want to get better. I’m tired of living like this. I want to experience life outside the walls of the castello.’
He cupped one side of her face in his hand. ‘And I can’t wait to show you life outside these walls. There are so many things we can do together—dinner, dancing, sightseeing, skiing, trekking. I will enjoy showing you all my favourite places.’
Artie gave a self-deprecating smile. ‘I have a lot of catching up to do. And only six months in which to do it.’
Luca’s hand fell away from her face, his expression tightening as if her mentioning the time limit on their relationship was jarring to him. ‘Of course, the m
ost important thing we need to do is introduce you to my grandfather. I can’t use the excuse of being on honeymoon for weeks or months on end.’
‘Maybe he’ll be well enough to come here soon.’ It was a lame hope but she articulated it anyway.
His hand scraped back his hair in a distracted manner. ‘There’s no guarantee that’s going to happen. Besides, I have work to see to. I can’t stay here indefinitely.’
‘I’m not stopping you from doing your work,’ Artie said. ‘You can leave any time you like.’
His gaze met hers. Strong. Determined. Intractable. ‘I want you with me.’
A frisson scooted down her spine at the dark glint in his eyes. The glint that spoke of the desire still smouldering inside him—the same desire smouldering inside her. She could feel the crackle of their chemistry in the air. Invisible currents of electricity that zapped and fizzed each time their eyes met and each time they touched. He stepped closer and slid his hand beneath the curtain of her hair, making her skin tingle and her blood race. His gaze lowered to her mouth, the sound of his breath hitching sending another shiver cascading down her spine.
‘I didn’t think it was possible that I could want someone so much.’ His tone was rough around the edges.
Artie moved closer, her hands resting on the hard wall of his chest, her hips clamped to his, heat pooling in her core. ‘I want you too.’
He rested his forehead on hers, their breath mingling in the space between their mouths. ‘It’s too soon for you. You’ll be sore.’ His voice was low, his hands resting on her hips.
Artie brought her mouth closer to his, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. ‘I’m not sore at all. You were so gentle with me.’
He groaned and drew her closer, his mouth coming down on hers in a kiss that spoke of banked-down longing. She opened to the commanding thrust of his tongue, her senses whirling as he called her tongue into sensual play. Need fired through her body, hot streaks of need that left no part of her unaffected. Tingles shot down her spine and through her pelvis, heating her to boiling point. Her intimate muscles responded with flickers and fizzes of delight, her bones all but melting. One of his hands moved from her hip to cup her breast through her clothes, sending another fiery tingle through her body.
