by Lynne Graham
There was a beat or two of thick silence.
Then Luca’s hand fell away from her face and he released a heavy sigh and rolled onto his back, one arm flung over the edge of the bed, the other coming up to cover his eyes. ‘The last thing I want to think about right now is you with someone else.’ There was a rough quality to his voice that hinted at a fine thread of anger running under the surface.
‘But it’s going to happen one day,’ Artie said. ‘We’re both going to move on with our lives. Isn’t that what you planned? What you insisted on?’
He removed his arm from across his face and sat upright, the muscles of his abdomen rippling like coils of steel. He swung his legs over the edge of the bed, his hands resting on either side of his thighs, his back towards her, his head and shoulders hunched forward as if he was fighting to control his emotions.
There was another tight silence.
Artie swallowed, wondering if she had pushed him too far. ‘Luca?’ She reached out and stroked her hand down between his tense shoulder blades, and he flinched as if her touch burned him. ‘What’s wrong?’
‘Nothing.’ The word was bitten out. Hard. Blunt. Keep-away curt.
She had a strange desire to smile—her lips twitched as she tried to control it. What was sauce for the goose and all that. ‘You know, someone told me recently that “nothing” usually means “something”.’
Luca let out a gush of air and gave a deep, self-deprecating chuckle. He turned back to face her. ‘Touché.’ He took her nearest hand and brought it up to his mouth, locking his gaze with hers. He bit down gently on the end of her index finger and then drew it into his mouth, sucking on it erotically. She shivered and a wave of heat passed through her body, simmering, smouldering like hot coals in her core.
He released her finger from his mouth and returned to holding her hand in his. ‘Sometimes I wonder if I need my head read for allowing this to go this far between us.’ His thumb stroked over the fleshy part of her thumb, the back-and-forth motion making her stomach do a flip turn. ‘But I can’t seem to stop myself from wanting you.’
Artie leaned closer, placing her free hand on the rock-hard wall of his chest, her mouth just below his. ‘Want me all you like.’ She pressed her lips to his in a barely-there kiss, pulling back to gaze into his eyes. ‘We’ve got six months.’
She kept her tone light. I’m-totally-cool-with-having-a-time-limit-on-our-relationship light.
He held her gaze for a long moment, shadows shifting in his eyes like filtered sunlight moving across a forest floor. Then his eyes lowered to her mouth, a muscle in his cheek pulsing as if something wasn’t quite at peace within him. ‘Then let’s make the most of it,’ he said and covered her mouth with his.
* * *
The following evening, after spending some time visiting Nonno, Luca took Artie out for dinner at a restaurant in San Gimignano with a spectacular view over the region. She sat opposite him at a table at the window at the front of the restaurant, feeling both nervous and excited about her first meal out at a restaurant since she was a teenager.
Artie took a sip of the crisp white wine Luca had ordered, and then surveyed the menu. ‘So much to choose from…’
‘Take your time.’ His tone was indulgent, as if he sensed how overawed she was feeling.
Once their orders were taken by the waiter, Artie glanced up at Luca with a rueful expression. ‘I’m frightened I might use the wrong cutlery or something. It’s been so long since I’ve eaten in public. I’m glad the restaurant isn’t busy tonight.’
He reached for her hand across the table, holding it gently in the cradle of his. ‘I made sure it wasn’t busy. I know the owner. I asked him to keep this part of the restaurant clear for us.’
Artie blinked at him in surprise. ‘Really? But wouldn’t that have incurred a considerable loss of income for him?’
Luca shrugged one broad shoulder. ‘Don’t worry. I’ve more than compensated him.’
She chewed at the side of her mouth, touched that Luca had gone to so much trouble and expense for her comfort. ‘I guess I can hardly call myself a cheap date, now, can I?’
His fingers squeezed hers, a smile playing about his mouth. ‘You’re worth more than you realise, cara. My grandfather certainly thinks so—he was in much better spirits today. Meeting you has done him the power of good. He told me when you were using the bathroom earlier today that he’s decided to go ahead with the chemo for his cancer. I have you to thank for his change in attitude. He wants to live now. You’ve given him a reason to.’
‘I’m so glad,’ Artie said. ‘But I hope the chemo won’t be too gruelling. He’s not a young man.’
‘No, but he’s a tough old guy.’ Luca stroked his thumb over the back of her hand and added in a heavy tone, ‘It’s something I’ve been dreading—losing him. He’s the last link to my father and brother, apart from my mother, of course.’
Artie could sense the deep love he had for his grandfather and it gave her hope that he might one day learn to embrace other forms of love—romantic love. Love-for-a-lifetime love. Her love.
‘Has your mother been to see Nonno recently?’
His mouth twisted, a shadow passing through his gaze. ‘They talk on the phone now and again. My mother hates flying back to Italy. It reminds her too much of our flight back from Argentina with my father’s and brother’s bodies.’ He released her hand and picked up his wine glass, staring at the golden liquid with a frowning expression.
Artie placed her hand on his other forearm where it was resting on the table. ‘I can only imagine how devastated you both were on that trip home. I can relate to it with my own journey home from hospital after the accident. It felt surreal, like I was having a nightmare or something. I kept expecting my mother to be there when I got home, but of course she wasn’t. And my father was a shell of himself. A broken shell. I blamed myself, just as you did and still do.’
Luca leaned forward and took both of her hands in his. ‘We’ve both suffered terrible tragedies. Nothing is going to change the past. It’s done and can’t be undone. But it’s important to live your own life.’
Artie looked down at their joined hands. ‘At least I’m living my life now, thanks to you. I think I was asleep to myself for the last ten years.’ She raised her gaze to his and continued, ‘I didn’t realise how much I’d let my fear control me. It kind of crept up on me until I was completely imprisoned by it. But somehow you got me to change my focus, to shift my thinking. How can I ever thank you for that?’
‘You don’t have to thank me. You did it all by yourself.’ Luca idly stroked her hands with his thumbs. ‘You’re doing so well now. I can’t tell you how shocked and delighted I was to see you appear at the hospital the other day. I thought I was dreaming.’
‘I was sick with nerves,’ Artie confessed. ‘But knowing you were there at the end of my journey really helped. It gave me a clear goal to aim for.’
Luca smiled and released one of her hands, then took a flat rectangular jewellery box out of his jacket pocket. ‘I have something for you.’ He placed the box on the table between them. ‘Open it.’
Artie prised open the lid to find a beautiful diamond and sapphire pendant and matching earrings. ‘Oh, Luca, they’re absolutely gorgeous!’ She picked up one of the dangling earrings. ‘But they’re the same design as your grandmother’s engagement ring. Does that mean they’re—?’
‘Sì, they were Nonna’s. I want you to have the whole collection.’
‘But they’re priceless heirlooms. Why are you giving them to me?’
‘Don’t you think you’re worth it?’
She put the earring back in the box, and ran her fingertip over the fine gold chain of the pendant. ‘It’s not that so much…’ She glanced up at him. ‘It’s more that I feel uncomfortable with you being so generous to me when we’re only going to be together for
six months. I mean, I seem to be the biggest winner in this arrangement of ours. I get to keep the castello and all this amazing jewellery, and what do you get?’
His eyes held hers in a strange little lock that made the hairs on the back of her neck tingle. ‘I get some wonderful memories of our time together. Plus, my grandfather will hopefully recover now he’s agreed to go ahead with the treatment.’
Artie frowned. ‘But don’t you want more than that?’
A screen came up in his gaze. ‘What more could I want?’
Me. You could want me, for ever.
Artie couldn’t bring herself to say it out loud but she wondered if he could hear her hopes in the ringing silence. ‘Don’t you want to keep your grandmother’s jewellery in case one day you change your mind about marrying someone else?’
‘Not going to happen.’ He sat back in his chair, lifted his wine glass from the table and took a measured sip. ‘I have no plans of that nature.’
Not going to happen.
The words taunted her for the rest of the meal.
Not going to happen.
He was so adamant about never falling in love.
Not going to happen.
How could he be so confident it wouldn’t happen?
And how could she be so hopeful it would? That he would fall in love with her?
CHAPTER ELEVEN
ONCE DINNER WAS OVER, Luca led the way back to his car past a wine bar where live music was being played. The sweet strains of a well-known Italian love song filled the night air. He glanced down at Artie’s wistful expression, and stopped in front of the entrance. ‘Do you fancy going in for a bit?’
She shifted from foot to foot, looking like she was torn between running away and going in and letting her hair down. ‘I haven’t heard live music before. And I’ve never been to a wine bar. Or danced with anyone before.’
He took her hand and looped it through his arm. ‘Come on, then. Let’s dance.’
A short time later, Luca held Artie in his arms as they slow-waltzed to another old love song. Her head was resting against his chest, her hair tickling his chin, her flowery fragrance teasing his nostrils. Her body moved in perfect time with his, as if they had been dancing together for ever. The naturalness of their motion reminded him of the natural rhythm of their lovemaking. It was as if their bodies were in tune with each other, recognising the other as the perfect partner.
Perfect partner? You’re hardly that.
The sharp prod of his conscience made him miss a step and he had to gather Artie closer to stop her from bumping into another couple on the small dance floor. ‘Sorry,’ he said. ‘I lost my concentration.’ Or maybe he’d momentarily lost his mind, thinking about the possibility of a future with her.
A future he couldn’t offer her.
When he’d first offered her a six-month marriage it had seemed an inordinately long time to be tied to someone, and yet now it didn’t seem long enough. He avoided thinking about their inevitable divorce. Avoided thinking about a time when she wouldn’t be in his life. Avoided thinking about her with someone else. He felt sick to his guts at the thought of her making love with some other man. He’d never considered himself the jealous type but he couldn’t stomach the thought of her with someone else. What if they didn’t treat her with respect? What if they weren’t patient with her struggles in public? What if they didn’t understand how sensitive and caring she was?
Artie looked up at him with luminous eyes, her face wreathed in smiles. ‘This is so much fun. Can we do this another night soon?’
Luca smiled and bent his head to kiss her. ‘I can think of nothing I’d like more.’
* * *
The next couple of weeks passed in a whirlwind of activity where Artie’s feet barely touched the ground. There were visits to the hospital to see Luca’s grandfather, who was making good progress after his hip surgery. Then there were trips to various sightseeing spots, and picnics in the countryside overlooking the hills and valleys of the region. Luca taught her about the skill of wine-making and olive production and showed her the vines and groves on his estate. He took her for romantic dinners in award-winning restaurants as well as less famous ones, where the food was just as fabulous and the atmosphere intimate and cosy. Luca took her shopping and spoilt her with a completely new wardrobe of clothes, including a collection of swimsuits and gorgeous lingerie.
But it was the nights at home she enjoyed the most. Just being with him, sitting in the salon chatting, watching a movie or listening to music together, her head resting on his chest and his arms around her. It gave her a glimpse of what life could be like if they stayed together longer than the six months he’d stipulated. He was still driven by work and was often on the phone or answering emails, but she noticed he was more relaxed than before and seemed to smile and laugh more. Was it because his grandfather was on the mend and had decided to go ahead with his cancer treatment? Or was it because she had helped Luca to see there was more to life than work? That being in a romantic relationship could be positive rather than negative?
Artie had to bite her tongue so many times to stop herself from confessing how she felt about him but she let her actions do the talking instead. Every time she kissed him, she let her lips communicate her love. Every touch of her hands, every stroke of her fingers, every press of her body on his, love poured out of her. But she wanted to say it out loud. She needed to say it out loud. She needed him to hear the words—I love you.
They were sitting on the sofa watching the moon rise through the salon windows after a day of sightseeing. The moonlight cast a silver light over the surface of the infinity pool outside on the terrace overlooking the vineyard. Luca’s arm was around her shoulders, her head resting on his shoulder, and soft music was playing through the sound system—cellos, violins and the sweetly lilting tones of a flute. A romantic ballad that tugged at her heartstrings and made her wish there wasn’t a limit on their time together.
‘Luca?’
‘Mmm?’ One of his hands began to play with her hair, sending shivers coursing down her spine.
Artie tilted her head to look at him. ‘Luca, I want to talk to you about something. Something important.’
He brushed an imaginary hair away from her face, his eyes dark and serious. ‘Go on.’ His tone held a note of caution, unease, guardedness, but she refused to let it daunt her.
She swallowed a tight knot in her throat. ‘There’s so much I enjoy about being with you. You’ve spoilt me like a princess. You’ve treated me with so much patience and kindness and helped me build my confidence.’
He gave a half-smile, some of the wariness in his gaze fading. ‘I like seeing you blossom, cara. You’re a beautiful person who’s been hiding away for too long.’
Artie touched his face with her fingers, her love for him taking up all the room in her chest so she could barely take a breath. ‘I never thought I’d meet someone like you. And not just because I was locked away in the castello. But because I didn’t think people as wonderful as you existed.’
Luca took her by the upper arms in a firm grip, his expression clouding. ‘Look, don’t go making me out to be a hero, Artie. I’m hardly that. You’re confusing good chemistry with…other feelings.’ Even the way he hesitated over the rest of his sentence showed how reluctant he was to the notion of love, but Artie pressed on regardless.
‘Luca…’ She took a deep breath and plunged in. ‘I don’t want our relationship to be temporary. I want more, and deep down I think you do too.’
His hands fell away from her arms and he sprang off the sofa to put some distance between them. ‘You’re wrong, Artie. That’s not what I want. I’ve never wanted that. We made an agreement—’
Artie jumped off the sofa as well and stood in front of him. ‘We made an agreement and then we changed it to what it is now—a physical relationship that works on every lev
el but the one that means the most to me. I can’t make love with you and keep my feelings to one side. They are the reason I want to make love with you. The only reason. I love you.’
Luca drew in a harsh-sounding breath and released it in a stuttered stream. He placed his hands on his hips, his shoulders hunched forward. ‘You’re young and inexperienced, of course, you’re going to think the first person who makes love to you is the love of your life. But believe me, I am not that person.’ His expression was like a walled fortress. Closed. Locked.
Keep out or face the consequences.
‘You are that person.’ Artie choked over the words as emotion welled in her throat. ‘You’ve been that person from the moment we kissed at our wedding. Something happened that day—I knew it on a cellular level. And—’
‘Will you listen to yourself?’ His tone had a cutting edge that sliced at her self-esteem like a switchblade. ‘You’re spouting forth a fairy-tale fantasy. It’s not real, Artie. You’ve fashioned me into some sort of romantic hero who ticks all the boxes for you. You need more life experience. You need to date other men so you can gain more perspective. You’ll thank me in the end. Tying yourself to me indefinitely would be a mistake. A mistake you’ll regret for the rest of your life.’ He turned away from her, drawing in another ragged breath, his tone softening. ‘Let’s leave this for now. I don’t want to upset you.’
Artie swallowed a tight restriction in her throat, tears stinging at the backs of her eyes. ‘But you’ve already upset me by not accepting that I love you. You’ve dismissed it as if I don’t know my own mind. I know what I feel.’ She banged her fist against her chest for emphasis. ‘I can’t deny my feelings or ignore them as you seem to do. They’re here with me all the time.’
