After about an hour, once they’d reached the other side of the first hogback ridge beyond the lake, she relaxed enough to speak out loud.
“When do you think it’ll be safe to stop for the night?”
“Let’s go until just before nightfall. How much longer is that? I’m not good at Alaska time-telling.”
Already the sun was winking from behind the trees to the west. “Another hour, maybe. How’s your leg?”
He hesitated just long enough for her to realize he was probably hurting.
“Let’s stop now. That way we can get up at first light and hit the trail again.”
“Good call.” With a sigh of relief, he slid off his backpack and dropped it to the ground. After scanning the area, he pointed to a grove of young hemlock trees whose long branches swept the ground with their graceful tips.
“We’ll be out of sight and safe from rain under there.”
“Looks good to me.”
Wearily, they stepped off the trail and made their way into the grove of hemlocks. She chose the tree with the longest branches and dropped down to her hands and knees to crawl under them. A relatively clear—though dim—space welcomed her. Dead branches bristled from the trunk.
“We’ll have to break these off,” she told Ethan as he joined her. “Otherwise we’ll get stabbed every time we move around.”
“I’ll do that if you want to figure out dinner.”
He set himself to his task, while she eased her backpack off her back.
“It’s going to be a cold dinner,” she told him. “We can’t risk a fire under here, not with all these dead branches. Especially not with a gun-wielding plane murderer out there.”
“Agreed.”
“Do you think we did a good enough job not leaving any tracks?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. Just in case, I’ll be standing guard tonight.”
“No. We’ll take turns. You need sleep too.” That sexy groove next to his mouth had already deepened with fatigue. Given the fact that he hadn’t slept much last night, she was amazed by his stamina on the trail.
“Okay, but do you know how to shoot a gun?”
Her eyes went wide. “You brought a gun with you?”
“Sure. Standard equipment for a PI.”
She chewed at her bottom lip. On the one hand, she wished guns didn’t exist at all. On the other hand, if someone was chasing them with a gun, she didn’t mind having one of their own. “Yes, I know how to shoot a gun. One of my mom’s boyfriends taught me. He liked to hunt. He took me hunting once and it was the most horrible experience of my life. Well, until now, I suppose.”
“Hey, hey.” He reached for her and massaged the tendon between her neck and her shoulder, the exact spot that was sore from her backpack. “We’ll be fine.”
“You don’t know that.” The fear she’d been pushing back since the sound of those gunshots welled up. “This was such a stupid idea. I have no business trying to fill Maya’s shoes. I should never have dragged you out here. If we die it will be my fault and I’m so so sorry, Ethan.”
“Hey.” He cupped his hand around her cheek. The rough warm comfort of his touch sang through her. “Remember what you told me yesterday? I’m hard to kill. Champion of evading the Reaper. And you’re with me, so that makes two of us.”
“Or you’re a magnet for disaster,” she pointed out. “It’s hard to argue with that right now.”
He chuckled. The way he was working so hard to keep her spirits up…well, it melted her heart, frankly. “Look, if you don’t believe we’ll be fine, let’s ask your crystal.”
“My crystal.” The blood drained from her face as she realized that she’d left it in the tent that morning. “Oh my God. My crystal’s gone too. They probably stole it…they…they…” She couldn’t catch her breath. Everything she loved was being snatched from her. Her bakery, her plane, her tent, her crystal, everything was crumbling around her and falling apart…
Ethan tilted her head up so she was staring into her eyes. “Jessica,” he said sharply. “Take a breath. I got your crystal.”
“Wha…wha…” she stuttered.
“When I went back in the tent to grab your cute little panties, I saw your crystal too. I knew you’d want it with you. Here.” With the hand that wasn’t holding her cheek, he nestled the familiar felt bag into her hand and curled her fingers around it.
She looked down at her hand, at the irreplaceable gift he’d just given her. No million-dollar diamond could mean more to her than her beloved crystal. “You don’t know what this means to me,” she whispered.
“I’m getting a pretty good idea.” His dry tone acted like a tonic on her rattled nerves.
“No, you really don’t. I know you think it’s just a ridiculous quirky habit. But it’s a lot more than that. Maybe I’ll tell you sometime.”
As relief flooded through her, she kissed the little bag, then drew out the crystal just to make sure it was still there. Like her own personal North Star, it twinkled back at her, radiant in the shadowed shelter of the hemlock.
She beamed at Ethan, so grateful she wanted to throw him down and kiss him into tomorrow.
“Tell me now,” he said. “Why is it so important to you?”
She bit her lip again. Even her friends didn’t really understand why she needed her crystal. But Ethan had saved it for her, even though he didn’t think much of crystals, and that meant so much to her.
“When I was a kid I went through a phase when I got kind of paralyzed when it came to decisions, even simple ones. Like if I wanted peanut butter and jelly or tuna for lunch. It drove my mother absolutely nuts.”
She dangled her crystal from her fingers. Even in the dimness under the tree, it sparkled like cold fire. “Then I was browsing at a craft fair one summer. This woman was selling all kinds of beautiful crystals and agates. I couldn’t stop staring at this one. She asked if I wanted to try it, and I was like, for what? What do they do? So she talked about how they can heal and focus different energies, and that sort of thing. Then she mentioned that she used hers to help her make decisions, and I was like…sold! I used my entire life savings to buy it.”
“You had a life savings already?”
“It was about fifty dollars, mostly from mopping the floor at the bakery.”
She carefully put her crystal back into its bag. “Anyway, it really helped me pull out of my decision-making paralysis. I still have trouble with certain decisions, but I know I’m not completely on my own, if that makes sense.”
Ethan had been snapping off branches as she told him that story, and now he brushed his hands on his pants. “It actually does. I’ll never mock your little friend again.”
He flashed a grin at her. Probably still trying to cheer her up. She’d take it.
“Thank you.”
“How’d you manage to make that decision about your father?”
“Excuse me?” She blinked at him.
“The one you told S.G. about. You said he wanted you to live with him, and your mother left it up to you.”
Staring at him, her throat tightened. He had a good memory for detail; probably went with being an investigator. “It was. It was terrible. It was the worst thing I ever had to do.”
“Did your crystal help?”
“No, I—I didn’t have it then.” She frowned, thinking back through hazy memories. “I chose to stay with my mom because—honestly, I was afraid that if I wasn’t there she’d vanish into thin air. She was always itching to travel. But I did love my father. It broke my heart when he didn’t come back after that.”
“Seems like a big decision for an eight-year-old. No wonder you got freaked out by decisions after that.”
She opened her mouth to object, then closed it. Was that when she’d first experienced her decision-paralysis? Was it why? She’d never really put it together before. She’d always assumed her indecisiveness was just a personality flaw. But of course it must be connected.
Holy shit.
This was big. This meant that she wasn’t just a coward when it came to decisions. She was…scarred. It was different.
Turning away, she searched through her backpack for the crackers and plastic jar of peanut butter that would be their dinner. Right now, survival was the only thing that mattered. All the delicious treats she’d packed into the cooler—they were all probably at the bottom of the lake by now.
Who would do such a thing?
“Do you think all of this is related to S.G.? Maybe someone doesn’t want us to find the cabin?”
“It’s one theory. But the first rule of investigating is don’t get stuck on one particular theory. Keep an open mind.”
“Wasn’t something else the first rule? Persistence or something?”
“The first rule of investigating is don’t correct the lead investigator,” he said sternly.
She laughed. “Okay, if my plane wasn’t sunk because of S.G., what else could it be?”
He shrugged one shoulder as he accepted a handful of crackers. She handed him a spoon for the peanut butter. “Maybe someone’s doing something illegal out here. Smuggling or drug running.”
She paused as a shiver passed through her. “I didn’t think about that. It’s a good thing I’m not a professional at this. I don’t have a mind for crime.”
“And I hope you never change.” His surprisingly tender smile swept the breath from her lungs. Did he really mean such a lovely statement? Or was he still just trying to keep her spirits up?
“That’s nice of you to say, considering that you think I’m kind of a flake.”
If he weren’t a cynical PI, she would have sworn that was a blush she spotted on his face.
“Maybe I did jump to some conclusions,” he murmured. “I was off-base.”
“Extra credit for admitting it.” She handed him an empty mug.
He peered into it with such a disappointed expression she had to laugh. “Am I supposed to imagine a hot drink in here?”
“Nope. I have a surprise for you.” She reached into her backpack and whipped out her favorite piece of camping gear. “Never leave home without your portable hot water heater. Battery powered for those times when you’re out of fuel and can’t make a fire.” She beamed at him as she showed off the gadget, which looked like a shoe horn with an extra hook on it. She poured water into his mug and fit the heater onto the rim. “The light will go off when it’s hot.”
He gazed at her as if she’d just descended from the sky on a beam of heavenly light. “You angel.”
“Back to angel, is it? Make up your mind.”
Cocking his head, he swept her with one of those up-and-down surveys that sent shivers across her skin. “I’m thinking a little bit of both.”
“And I’m thinking you’re not wrong.”
She pulled out several packets—instant coffee, tea, hot chocolate. He chose hot chocolate, which earned him even more extra credit points in her book. Chocolate was always a plus.
Once they both held steaming mugs of hot chocolate, they settled onto the ground. The forest floor was a thick bed of needles, surprisingly soft under her butt.
“You should probably sit next to me to conserve body heat.” He patted the ground right next to him. “We’re talking survival.”
Was that an invitation or a safety tip? Did it matter?
“I am a big fan of survival,” she told him as she moved to his side.
He gathered her against him with one arm and she snuggled close with a sigh. Between the warmth from his body and the hot sweetness of chocolate on her tongue, she could almost imagine that she wasn’t chilled and stranded and afraid.
Chapter Eighteen
They sat together, sipping their hot chocolate and munching on crackers, letting the sounds of the forest take over.
Moisture dripped steadily from the outer tips of the hemlock branches. But where they were sitting, propped against the trunk—so close to the heart of the tree—it stayed dry. Almost cozy, or it would have been if they still had their sleeping bags.
At least she wasn’t out here alone. The presence of Ethan right now was the difference between terror and hope. She didn’t really doubt that they’d make it out of here, and that was because of Ethan.
In a very short time, he’d become extremely important to her.
She chased away that thought, because of course he was important to her right now. Her survival depended on him. Once they got out of this situation, they’d go right back to being incompatible opposites.
Or were they?
“I’ve been wondering about something,” she murmured as she nestled even closer against his chest.
“Hm?” He sounded just as sleepy and content as she felt.
“I know you don’t believe in my crystal, and that’s fine. I get it. But with your near-death experiences, did you ever think of those as a kind of magic? Something you can’t entirely explain away with facts and logic?”
He lifted his arm away from her shoulder and she whimpered as the chill immediately invaded. “I take it back! Don’t leave. Come back, arm! I’ll skip the awkward questions.”
With a chuckle, he knocked away a twig that had been poking at him. “I’m not leaving. Here.” He spread his legs apart, the farthest knee bent up, and patted the ground between his legs. “If you really want to be warm, sit here.”
It seemed so intimate. Like how you would sit with a boyfriend. But she really did want to stay as warm as possible, so she climbed over his leg and settled between his thighs. His other knee came up, like a door closing, and she was surrounded by his body. He nudged her to relax against his chest.
She could have cried from the heavenly feeling of so much body heat flowing into her. When he lightly encircled her with his arms, her happiness was complete. “I could sleep here,” she murmured. “This is heaven.”
“You should sleep. Consider me your sleeping bag.”
“Mmmm.” Her eyes half closed as she hummed contently. “But what about you?”
“I’m good. Don’t worry about me.” A certain strain in his voice caught her attention. So did a certain swell against her lower back.
Adrenaline raced through her. He was getting turned on. Or was she just imagining it?
Testing, she shifted her butt back and forth. The bulge against her back grew in response.
“Sorry,” he muttered. “Ignore that. Basic physiological reaction. I know where you stand.”
“Maybe, but I’m not standing,” she pointed out.
“That’s…not exactly…” She smiled to herself as he searched for the right words.
“Besides, a girl can change her mind. Isn’t that the first rule of investigations, to keep an open mind?”
The swelling grew even more. From behind her, he stroked his fingers through her hair, as if he’d been holding himself back from touching her.
“That’s true. It helps to explore all possibilities.”
“Explore. I like that word.” Her breath hitched as he divided her hair so it flowed over both her shoulders. He blew hot air against the back of her neck. She shivered deliciously.
“So when you say that you’ve changed your mind…”
“I said a girl can change her mind.”
“Right. I might need a translator here.” He picked up the bulk of her hair and moved it all to one side, exposing the side of her neck. Next thing she knew, his warm mouth was chasing away the chill with a kiss. “Have you changed your mind? Can I convince you to change your mind?” He nibbled lightly on the flesh over her tendon. She gave a soft moan. “Should I talk to your crystal and make my case?”
“Trying to go behind my back with my crystal? Get your own, city boy.”
“Maybe I have my own. It’s built in. Sometimes I even listen to it.” He draped her hair back around her neck, so it was no longer exposed to the cold. “To answer the question you asked, something did happen to me when I nearly drowned. I had a vision. I guess you could call that ‘magic.’”
&n
bsp; She twisted around to gaze up at him. This was fascinating new information. “Really! What did the vision tell you?”
“It told me to get engaged to Charley. So much for visions.” The groove along one side of his mouth flashed as he smiled briefly. “Big mistake. Even my sister warned me.”
“Oh.” She settled back, disappointed. There went any chance of finding common ground on that topic. “My crystal isn’t always ‘right,’ because I don’t always ask the right questions. Like when we asked if we should go to sleep early last night. It said ‘no,’ but obviously that was wrong because—“ She sat upright again. “Wait, maybe it wasn’t wrong! If we hadn’t gone to bed early, maybe we would have spotted the intruder you heard.”
“And maybe he would have shot us instead of your plane. It’s pointless to speculate. That’s why it’s better to rely on logic.”
The vibration of his chest whenever he spoke was doing something spectacular to her nerve endings. Heat pooled in her belly and her nipples chafed against her several layers of clothing. So inconvenient, the way her body responded to someone so different from her.
“Logically speaking, we shouldn’t be attracted to each other,” she pointed out. “If we went only by logic, we wouldn’t go one step further.”
“Ah ha.” He wound a lock of her hair around his index finger and tugged lightly. Tingles spread from her scalp right to the intimate place between her legs. “So you do rely on logic sometimes. That’s why you said no to us. Maybe you should have checked with your crystal. Maybe your intuition speaks more than one language. Attraction, for instance.”
How dare he use her own beliefs against her like this? And why was he making so much sense? “Some things are just obvious,” she said. “I didn’t have to consult my crystal to know we shouldn’t have sex. Oooh, do that again.” She arched her chest as the sensations from her scalp made her nipples zing with arousal.
“The word ‘sex’ covers a lot of territory,” he murmured. His lips brushed her ear. Lord almighty that felt good. “Would you consider this ‘sex’?” With his teeth he tugged lightly on her earlobe. With one hand still playing with her hair, he used the other to squeeze her upper thigh. Verrrry close to the spot that was throbbing underneath her clothes.
Love at First Light (Lost Harbor, Alaska Book 6) Page 14
