Dirty Secrets

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Dirty Secrets Page 19

by Landish, Lauren


  Ouch, perhaps there was venom in my words too, but they get through, and he reaches out, grabbing my wrist. “I’m sorry, Allie. I was over the line.”

  But the damage is done and I’m mad at TJ’s continued dismissal of how good Dom and I are together.

  “Do I think he was a monk before we started dating?” I ask, turning on him. “Of fucking course not, TJ. But what I know is that we laugh and play chess, he challenges me, and I challenge him, and I like that I’m the only person he’s let past his ice-cold mask to see the warm, caring man inside. Yeah, he’s intense. Yeah, he’s possessive, but I’ve fallen for him and I need you to back me up on this.”

  “Do you hear yourself? Words you just used to describe your boyfriend—cold, intense, possessive. Does that sound like your dream guy, Allie?” TJ scoffs. “What would you tell me if I introduced you to a woman like that? He just bosses you around and you do his bidding like a damn puppy! That’s not you, or at least not the Allie I knew. And who knows what all he’s hiding. This is the honeymoon period. Does it feel like everything’s roses and champagne? I can tell you what it looks like from the outside, and it sure ain’t a ‘happily ever after’. What happens the next time you find out he’s hiding shit from you? What happens when—”

  He tries to say more, I can see the words on the tip of his tongue, but I cut him off. “Don’t make this about you and Janine!” I beg. “She hid stuff from you, admittedly really shitty stuff that I wish hadn’t happened to you, but that doesn’t mean Dominick is hiding things from me. Maybe it’s not the relationship you imagined for me, maybe it’s not what you would want for yourself, but it’s mine, and I want it just like it is.”

  “You want me to just stand back and watch while you shrink yourself to fit into his world,” TJ growls, getting up and right in my face. “But you don’t even know what the fuck that world really is.” His voice softens as he holds my arms, not letting me escape his eyes. “I remember you . . . Allie who wanted to be a ballerina, who dreamed of dancing her life away and then retiring to live a happy life with a husband and kids. I just don’t see you having that with a man like Dominick. But the important thing is, do you see yourself having a life like that with him? Is that something you’re willing to give up for him? Because I’ve seen you around this studio, the way you bend down to talk to the kids, the way you light up when they share something with you or finally get a move right. That life you used to dream about? You still want it. And do you think Cold Monster is going to be the daddy you always wanted for your kids?”

  I’m silent, shocked by his hard words and how they stick painfully in my heart. They hurt because they’re true to some degree. Dominick and I are still new, so intensely powerful, like nothing I’ve ever imagined, but new.

  Is this a path I want to go down?

  What does the future look like with him? It’s really hard to visualize Dominick burping a baby, changing its diapers, teaching a child to play chess, loving and caring for them as they grow up. I can’t see Dom teaching a little boy how to play catch.

  It’s harder than I’d like to admit, but maybe that’s because I’ve never seen him in that role.

  I do know deep down in my gut that he’d move heaven and earth to see me and our children happy. And that is worth more than all the dirty diapers in the world.

  TJ softens, his hands relaxing a little on my arms. “Allie-gator, my life is FUBARed. I thought I was making a good choice with Janine, and I ignored some warning flags that I should’ve paid attention to. Now I’m paying the price and it fucking sucks. I’m just trying to do for you what I wish someone had done for me. I love you, Sis.”

  I sigh, hugging him. He’s my brother, after all. We’re going to disagree, fight, and nitpick at old wounds, but at the end of the day, I know he’s always got my back, hell or high water.

  And I love him for it. He’s hurting and trying to protect me. I just don’t want or need the protection right now.

  I’m fine.

  Dominick is fine.

  Together, we are so much better than fine.

  I’m on the verge of a pivotal point in my life, I can feel it. The connection with Dominick feels steady, pulsing with not just heat but possibility, with the harmony that I’ve sensed a few times in dance when you click with a partner and you just know.

  The opportunities at the studio are exciting and will give me some financial stability and let me grow as a dancer, but also as a businesswoman.

  I feel strong, comfortable in my skin, and like I’m growing in a good way. If Dom were trying to really hem me in, to put me on a leash, he wouldn’t be so encouraging.

  I just wish TJ could see that.

  I look around the room, seeing my future here at the studio, and it gives me a warm, bubbly feeling until I see the clock on the wall. “Oh, shit, it’s late. Come on.”

  TJ follows me to the front door, not quite as comfortable as before, but still okay-ish as I throw my bag over my shoulder and look outside. “What’s up?”

  “Logan is following me home tonight. He works out at the gym over there, and I told him I’d be done twenty minutes ago. He must’ve gotten caught up though. He’s usually on time.”

  TJ follows my line of sight, noticing the newly-installed glowing sign for Mat Madness. “Well, let’s go meet him.”

  I take a step toward the door and freeze, shaking my head. “No, I’m supposed to wait here for him. Let me just text him.”

  TJ’s anger is instant and hot, undercut with worry. “Seriously? Do you hear yourself right now? You think you’re not a trained puppy? You won’t even walk out of your fucking cage without permission to go four doors down a fucking strip mall to meet the guy assigned to you. You do hear how fucked up that is, right?”

  “I made a promise and I’m keeping it,” I reply, refusing to get baited into another argument. “Something you should understand and appreciate.”

  TJ shakes his head. “A promise to have a guard, right? What the hell am I? A trained fucking soldier, Allie. Let’s go.”

  He has a point. I agreed to a guard, and TJ definitely qualifies. “Fine. Come on then, GI Joe.”

  The studio door closes behind us and we walk across the lot, just a few doors down, but it does feel oddly like a rebellion. I may be Dominick’s, and the thought of being his does make my heart and my body thump just a little bit faster, a little bit hotter, but I’m still me.

  A good girl through and through, but with a dash of crazy to keep things interesting.

  We go into Mat Madness and see Logan tussling with a blond guy on the matted floor. Max and Dalton stand on opposing sides, yelling out instructions. Max calls time, and Logan and the guy separate, knocking knuckles and trading grins.

  Logan looks up, seeing me, and his face falls. “Fuck. What time is it?”

  “It’s good,” I reassure him, waving it off as Max helps the blond guy up and gives him some quiet words of advice on the other side of the mat. “TJ walked me over.”

  Logan takes an appraising look up and down TJ. TJ takes the initiative, offering his hand. “Tyler Bancroft. Call me TJ.”

  “Logan Hendricks. Good to meet you. Sorry I lost track of time.”

  “No problem. I’ve been taking care of Allie-gator my whole life. Not stopping now,” TJ says with a hint of a threat in his tone, though the words are sweet.

  While I introduce TJ to Max and Dalton, Logan grabs his bag, changing in what has to be World-Record time. It’s funny. It’s the first time I’ve ever seen him so casual, a T-shirt and loose sweatpants along with a pair of Nike running shoes.

  “You ready?” he asks.

  I glance over at TJ, who’s looking at one of the heavy bags and tapping it with his fist while chatting with Dalton. “Yeah, just heading home tonight, right, TJ?”

  TJ turns, tossing me a little wave. “I think I’m gonna take off, actually, since you’re in good hands now. Got dinner plans, and I think you’ve probably had enough of my ugly mug for one day.” />
  I’m surprised he’s leaving but glad to hear that he has dinner plans. After the back and forth of the day, a little time apart to settle might do us both good.

  “Okay,” I say, coming over. “But call me tomorrow? That’s an order.”

  TJ grins, giving me a mock-salute before wrapping his arms around me in a hug. “I love you, Sis,” he says quietly in my ear. “Just want you to be happy.”

  Chapter 18

  Dominick

  Standing at her door, I have that moment of unease. Is this the day she’s had enough and leaves me? Or am I to be granted one more day of reprieve, of fizzy sunshine and burbling happiness instead of the chill and cold deadness my heart normally feels?

  The moment of truth comes as her door opens, and my soul leaps when I see her face light up. I take a moment to bask in her glorious brilliance, letting her joy at seeing me on her doorstep nourish the seeds of hope deep within me. And though I’m not a religious man, I pray that those seeds take root and blossom into tall, sturdy trees befitting the strength of our love.

  “Hey!” Allie says, letting me in before giving me a quick hug. “You’re early! I thought you might be the delivery guy.”

  “I know what I want for dinner,” I say salaciously, letting my eyes rove down her curves as my body tingles from the quick press of her against me. She’s dressed in yoga pants and a soft sweater that slips off one shoulder, a hint of a lacy strap peeking out. I can’t help myself. I lean in to kiss her, intending to be soft and slow, but the scent of her perfume hits me and the kiss turns passionate and needy.

  It’s been days since I’ve had her beneath me, barely able to find stolen moments together over the last week while she rushes around with work and her brother. But in this moment, she is here with me, mine and mine alone. The depth of my desire for her hits me full-force and she seems to be suffering from the same degree of need. Her full lips meld to mine, and when her tongue slips out to taste along my bottom lip, I growl and open for her, forcing her to do the same for me.

  We’re still standing in the open doorway, but I give real consideration to hiking her up my body, pressing her back against the door, and filling her right here. Let all of East Robinsville hear as she screams my name. She’d be a gift to me with every moan.

  I need this woman soon, need to feel her walls clench around me as she’s left boneless from the pleasure I’m giving her. I need to see her give in to me, give everything to me and take all of me in return.

  We’re this close, my hand sliding down her back to her waistband, when the long buzz of my phone in my pocket stops me, both of us chuckling at the tickling sensation. I step back from the kiss reluctantly, placing a line of sweet kisses down her neck to her exposed shoulder as I pull my phone out to silence the alert.

  “Dinner is here,” I say.

  Her eyebrows pull together. “How do you know that?” I give her a hard look, judging her openness. For once in my life, I can’t read her, and my instincts scream at me to dodge the question until I can foresee the outcome of sharing.

  A tiny angel on my shoulder, one that must’ve been placed there by Allie because I’ve certainly never had a conscience before, whispers in my mind . . . tell her. Remember, trust?

  Still not sure if it’s the right play, I decide to jump with the voice. Turning my phone around, I open an app, showing her the screen. “Remember, I told you I can ping your phone? I’m also hacked into this building’s security. I get an alert whenever your code is used.”

  “You’re . . .”

  “I know a guy,” I reply, trying to keep my voice light to ease the shock. “You said you thought I was the delivery guy so I’m assuming the usage of your code a moment ago is our dinner being dropped off.”

  I can see the gates drop down in her mind, closing her off from me. I hate it. I want to shake her and make her understand that it has to be this way. Before I can do anything foolish, however, the elevator dings.

  “I’ll get dinner. Can you take this?” I say instead, holding out the gift bag I brought for her. I’d almost dropped it in favor of holding her in my arms while we kissed, but I’m glad I kept my head enough to keep it in my grip. It’s too fragile, too important to risk breaking.

  “Yeah, what is it?” Allie asks cautiously, her eyes on the bag.

  “A present for you,” I say simply, signing the charge slip. I’m about to slip the guy a folded twenty as his tip when I see the way he’s looking at my Allie and instead shut the door in his face.

  Bag of food in hand, I stride into the kitchen, making myself at home. In some ways, though, this place already feels more like home than my own house does. It’s like being wrapped up in all things Allie . . . things she has chosen on every surface, her subtly spicy floral scent in the air, her dancewear crumpled in the corner, waiting for her to do laundry.

  It’s oddly both comforting and exciting to have to nudge them out of the way in order to be in her space. I take plates from the cabinet and fill them with her order, Chinese chicken and vegetables.

  It smells delicious, and I set the plates on the coffee table, along with silverware and glasses of water.

  Looking up from my seat, I notice she hasn’t moved, her gift bag still hanging from her right hand and a suspicious look on her face. Trying to be encouraging, I pat the cushion next to me.

  “Come, sit. Open your present.”

  She does so robotically, sinking to sit on the floor pillow by the table. “How’d you know where everything is in my cabinets?”

  “I’ve eaten dinner here several times now. I’m observant by nature and have seen you pull dishes from the cabinets, from the dishwasher, and even from the sink where you fake-whined about having to wash them by hand and threatened to switch to only paper plates and plastic forks. I’m sure if we were at my house, you’d know which cabinet the plates are in too.”

  Allie pauses and then a tiny smile curls her lips. “Cabinet right of the stove. I remember thinking it was weird because they should be in the left cabinet.”

  I grin as she sees my point. “I actually agree with you, but my chef is left-handed. She set it up so she can spatula with her left hand, grab dishes out of the rack in there with her right, and plate dinner without even having to take her eyes off the pan. I suspect that if she had to do it in reverse, there’d be a higher chance of her dropping my dinner, so I let her put the plates wherever the hell she wants to. As long as I get to eat.”

  She laughs at my joke, and I move to put the awkwardness behind us. “Please, open your gift. I’ve been burning with curiosity about whether you’d like it.”

  Allie lifts an eyebrow but nods and begins tossing tissue paper around like confetti with a smile already on her face. “You know, if you got me diamonds—”

  “I thought about it, but no. They’re not precious enough.”

  Her curiosity piqued, she reaches deeper, pulling out a heavy wooden box wrapped with a silk bow. “What is it?”

  It’s a rhetorical question as her hands are already tugging at the bow, a delighted gasp coming from her lips as she opens the box. “Oh, my gosh, they’re beautiful!” she exclaims, lifting out the first piece, an ornately carved piece of white ash. Appropriately enough, it’s the Queen. “Are these hand-carved?”

  “Yes, each chess piece is done by hand,” I tell her, letting her explore each piece. “The board’s walnut and beech, and the pieces are ash and black oak. I thought about getting a stone board, but I decided a folding board so that you can store it or take it with us wherever we go would be more appropriate.”

  It’s an important gift for me, both in the actual chessboard and in the admission that I want to go wherever this woman is. It’s sort of a connection, from the fond memories I’ve had with my father, and now after a few games with Allie, it’s something I want to share with her, too.

  I’m sure my father is looking down on me, approving of the continuation of our tradition. Allie caresses each piece before closing the case and
looking up at me through those beautiful mile-long lashes of hers.

  “Thank you, Dominick. I know this means a lot to you. I want you to know it means a lot to me too.” Her lips lift in a soft little smile and she moves closer to me, tilting her chin up. “Thank you.”

  She leans in and kisses me, but almost instantly, the passion from our earlier greeting reignites anew.

  Dinner forgotten, she crawls into my lap, straddling me, her pussy hot against my cock. I grab her hips, pulling her fiercely against me so she feels how hard she makes me, how even just a few touches of her lips against mine leave me iron-hard and throbbing for her.

  She whimpers, grinding against me. “Dom . . . be dirty,” she begs. “Show me.”

  “Fuck, Allie,” I growl, letting her past my outer shell to the deep, feral, filthy part of me. “I need to be inside you.”

  I climb to my feet, pulling her up with me before hoisting her in my arms, her legs wrapping around my waist as I stride down the hallway to her bedroom. I lay her gently down, stripping her clothes off and placing a pillow under her head. I like her like this, nude and in the nest of blankets and pillows on her bed, waiting for me to fill her, to fuck her, to make her mine.

  She stretches artistically, showing off for me before reaching out with a soft hand. “You have on too many clothes. Take them off.” Her grin is pure wickedness, a dare if ever I saw one.

  “Then you show me something too. Touch yourself. Let me watch you.”

  She blushes, and I think for one second that she might refuse, but then the dirty girl I know she has inside wins over. She’s pretty in pink, she’s dirty in denim, and she’s naughty in nude . . . and watching her is like a fantasy come to life.

  Her finger traces along her sternum, the burgundy of her nail dark against her honey skin, and I watch the path she takes, letting her lead me along to wherever she wants to direct my gaze.

  “Like this?” she teases.

 

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