by Dayna Quince
They entered the parlor and Jeanie joined the circle of her sisters around their mother. Her mother reclined on the settee, Luna fanning her as Anne relayed what had occurred.
Jeanie knelt next to the settee and her mother smiled warmly, taking her hand. She looked well, her color good and her eyes bright.
“How are you feeling?” Jeanie asked.
“Too old for all this excitement. I thought it enough to be carrying a child so late in life, but now this?”
Jeanie squeezed her hand. “Bernie is strong. She’ll come through.”
“You’re all strong. That has never been in doubt. I’ve often…” Her eyes grew watery. She accepted a handkerchief from Luna and dabbed at her eyes. “I’m sorry. I never wanted any of this hardship for you. Your strength comes from adversity, and I should have protected you from hardship. But I am so proud of you all.”
Jeanie sucked in a breath. She’d never heard her mother speak with regret about their upbringing. What would she think if she knew what Jeanie planned to do? Would she still be proud?
She clung to her mother’s hand until her father arrived, and her sisters departed one by one. Jeanie waited until they were alone, though her father was nearby, sipping a cup of tea until her mother was ready to return home.
“I can see you want to ask me something.” Her mother stroked her hair.
Jeanie nodded. “Do you regret…the things you’ve done?”
Her mother frowned. “What do you mean?”
Jeanie glanced down. “I mean, if you could go back, would you change anything in your life?”
“Never,” her mother said with urgency. “My heart is full. Yes, there were difficult times, but I have never loved anything as fiercely as I do your father and all of you. And I will love this child too.”
Jeanie met her gaze, stunned by the ferocity of her words. “Love is what helped you?”
“Love can make any situation not only bearable but enjoyable. We can’t control fate, but we can always choose love. Love will never let you down.”
“But…” Jeanie didn’t know what to ask next. Could it be that simple? Just choose love and the rest doesn’t matter?
“But what?”
“I don’t think I understand.”
Her mother cupped her cheek. “Whatever path you choose, you must choose with your whole heart. You won’t be able to control the ground beneath your feet. The path will change, winding, going up hills, going down, through dark woods, and sunny meadows. That is what life is. But love will shelter you and guide you on that path, leading you to shelter from the rain, giving you a cool breeze on a warm day.”
“How?” Jeanie asked, shaking her head.
“By giving you a partner to journey with.” She glanced to Mr. Marsden, snoozing in a chair.
“Choosing love means choosing the person who will walk the path with you, helping you, bearing the difficulties with you.”
Jeanie leaned on the settee, resting her cheek on her mother’s hand. “I’m scared,” she confessed.
“Then you’ve already made your choice, I’d say. Start your journey and don’t look back.”
Jeanie wiped her eyes and stood. She nodded to her mother and then bent and kissed her cheek. She left the parlor, standing in the empty hall and not knowing what to do.
She needed him.
If she was going to start her journey, he had to be there because she was choosing him, choosing love. She went to the drawing room, peeking her head in, but it was empty. Next, she went to the tower and upon entering the room, her heart stopped.
It was empty, gutted of all traces of him, of her, of their stolen moments. She backed away, blindly following the cold stone wall back down and sinking to sit on the last step. She shook free of her disappointment, forcing herself to keep moving. The tower may be empty but her heart was full, and she had to believe.
She had to keep believing there was still one chance.
Her next stop was the billiard room, and here is where she found at least a few of the gentlemen. She stalked the hall outside the door, listening to the voices and trying to discern who was in the room. None of the voices sounded like him. She gave up, defeated, but then had one more idea.
The library.
If Lord Selhorst was there, he might be able to help her find him. She ran, slowing as she reached the door, panting to catch her breath.
Hallelujah!
Lord Selhorst sat at a table alone, a book open before him. He peered up expectantly.
“I’m not Josie,” she said.
He appeared disappointed, but then he offered her a smile.
“Is there something I can help you with?”
She hesitated. She was taking a gamble but didn’t see another way of finding Luc’s room discreetly.
“I need to find Lord Luckfeld’s room.”
He raised both brows. “I beg your pardon.”
“It is very important I speak with him.”
“In his room?”
Yes, blast it.
She ground her teeth. “I need to have a private conversation with him.”
He narrowed his eyes. “Are you certain you should do this?”
She sighed. “I will owe you an immense favor if you could show me where his room is, discreetly. Unless he isn’t there? Do you know where he might be?”
He sighed. “You Marsdens are wildly out of hand.”
“I beg your pardon?” She folded her arms in indignation. It didn’t matter that it was true.
“He is in his room. I believe he is packing his belongings.”
He ripped out a page in the book and folded it. He came to his feet and held it up between his two fingers. “I will show you to his room in exchange for a favor.”
Jeanie lifted her chin. She wasn’t sure she wanted his help now but she was desperate.
“And what is that?”
“Give this to Josie.”
“That’s all?”
“That’s all.”
She took the note.
“You can read the page if you wish. Only Josie will understand its intent.” He turned toward the door.
Jeanie frowned at his back and tucked the note in her bodice.
Chapter 23
He stopped outside a door, holding her gaze. “My door is that one, should—I don’t know—anyone inquire to the location of my chamber.”
Jeanie raised her brows this time.
“Just in case,” he said as he strolled away. “Don’t do anything you may regret.”
She narrowed her eyes at his retreating form as he disappeared up the back stairs. Jeanie focused on the door and took a deep breath, raising her hand to knock, but the door opened and there Luc stood, adorably astonished to find her there.
“I thought I heard Selhorst,” he said.
“He led me here.”
“He led you here?” His eyes went comically wide.
Jeanie couldn’t waste any more time. She slipped past him and into his room.
He shut the door, but he didn’t take his hand from the knob.
“What are you doing here?”
“I’m breaking a promise I made to you. I’m sorry.” Her hands shook. She tucked them behind her back and started working on the buttons of her dress. She ought to have chosen an easier dress to remove but it was too late now.
He straightened. “What are you doing?”
“I’m removing my dress.” She suppressed a giggle. There was nothing funny about the moment. It must be hysteria.
Jeanie swallowed and took a deep breath. She had to go through with this. Temptation was all she had left. He must give in to his desire for her. Only then would he agree to make her his mistress. It was the only way they could be together. Her heart thudded as she reached behind her neck to undo the last buttons and shrug out of her sleeves.
But suddenly he was there, holding her dress to her shoulders. His touch ignited her, even though he was doing the opposite of what she wanted him to do.<
br />
“You promised me,” he said, his voice low and thick.
“So you remember?”
He nodded, his face a stony mask except for his eyes. His gaze wandered over her hungrily.
“Don’t do this, Jeanie. Think of the future you could have. Roderick and Cage are wealthy men. They can dower you and maybe you can have a season.”
“It’s not enough,” she said, her voice breaking with need. “It’s not you. All I want is you, Luc. I’ll do whatever I have to do.”
“But not this…” His words contradicted the savage need in his voice, bolstering Jeanie’s confident. She pulled down her bodice, covered in only her chemise from the waist up.
He cupped her shoulders, caressing her bare arms, his head bent to hers, their foreheads almost touching. She shimmied her hips, and the dress fell to the floor.
He exhaled, his hands trembling as he cupped her breasts and closed his eyes.
“Jeanie,” he moaned.
She leaned into his touch and lifted her face to his.
She kissed him, her fingers lifting into his hair. His mouth opened and she boldly took control, gliding her tongue along his, the fire in her bloodstream fueling her passion. She didn’t know what she was doing, things just happened, her dress was gone, and now she was on the bed. Luc had yanked down her chemise, kissing her breasts as he’d done before. Jeanie was lost in a sea of sensation, her pulse echoing in her ears, her heart pounding like the waves on the bluff but in double time. She couldn’t think beyond him, beyond her own desire.
He drew her nipple into his mouth, and she arched up to him. Breathless, she couldn’t think. All she knew was that she didn’t want him to stop.
Nothing had felt more right than when his lips were on her, when his arms were around her. Even though the decision to become his mistress was the most terrifying she’d ever made, if she spent the rest of her life in his arms, she’d make it all over again. She at last understood what her mother meant.
Whatever difficulty lay ahead, love would see them through.
His kisses moved down her body, slow licks of fire from his tongue blazing a path to her navel. He pushed her shift up around her hips and kissed the sensitive skin of her stomach, her muscles and nerves twitching in delight.
He moved lower still, the brush of his lips teasing her, driving her to distraction while he moved her thighs apart, settling his shoulders in between. The first touch of his mouth to her private flesh seized her lungs. Stars burst behind her eyes in different colors as his tongue darted out to taste her.
She’d never felt anything more wicked. She wanted to be devoured, to feel nothing but him. She pulled at his coat, and he shrugged it off, not stopping his passionate assault to her delicate flesh. His fingers dipped inside her, stretching and massaging her. Her legs fell open, her spine bowing as all her focus tuned to her core, the part of her body she was least familiar with. But he seemed to know her, to know exactly what she needed before she needed it.
A tide of desire rose and ebbed inside her, brought her to the brink of climax, and then she’d fall back down again. Over and over.
Beads of sweat formed over her brow and her breathing was ragged.
She couldn’t take it anymore.
He sucked on the hood of her womanhood, and pleasure shot throughout her body like lightning. A cry escaped her. He flicked his tongue against her, where she was most sensitive and ravenous for touch. She moaned, her hands fisting in the coverlet of his bed.
All the tension coiled inside her, breaking like a wave on the rocks, and she came apart, shattering into sparkling water and foam. She floated on a current of bliss as he adjusted her, moving her further back on the bed. And then, as she cracked her eyes open, she saw him undressing, his waistcoat, cravat, shirt, trousers. They all disappeared and he stood before her, sinewy muscle, a light dusting of hair covering his chest. A thin trail descended to his navel and farther, where his manhood jutted out from a nest of dark brown curls.
She licked her lips, her breath coming in short pants. Her mind blanked. So this is what a naked man looked like. Surely not all of them or there would be a significant increase in the population.
She shivered as he crawled on the bed to her, his eyes holding hers.
“Are you frightened?”
“I’m afraid you’ll stop,” she confessed.
She wanted to do this with all her heart, all her body. She hadn’t asked for much in her life, a warm meal, a better profit on their wool harvest next season. But when it came to him, she wanted to be greedy.
She wanted all of him. She wanted to be selfish and rash, demanding if she had to.
For once.
“I should stop.” He leaned over her on all fours.
“Why should we stop? Why should we give up any more of what we want?”
He exhaled, his expression revealing his wavering resolve. “We both have a duty to our families.”
She bit back a moan of despair and willed herself to be strong. For both of them. She reached for him, looping an arm around his neck to draw him closer to her and pressing her palm to his chest. She could feel the wild beat of his heart, strong, determined.
“What about us? What about what we want?”
He lowered down to her, and Jeanie hitched a leg over his hip. His manhood nestled against her curls, and the heavenly sensation strengthened her determination.
“But…”
“Be with me, Luc. My love is free. You can take it. It’s already yours. I love you.”
His blue eyes darkened from azure to sapphire, and he kissed her roughly, conquering her mouth as if he’d never let her go.
Please don’t let me go.
Chapter 24
Luc lost all control. One moment he was on the verge of pulling away, leaving her virtue intact, and doing what he should do. But then she’d cast her spell. She’d said magical words, words he’d never heard uttered to him and he was done for.
She loved him. She loved him so much she was willing to shame herself, to ostracize herself from polite society, family, to be with him. Had anyone in his life ever made such a sacrifice for him?
No.
He was tempted beyond redemption now.
He could feel the slick heat of her core against his cock and he moved against her, testing the entrance of her body. She was already perfectly positioned to accept him, her hips lightly bucking, their tongues thrusting and sparring in a rhythm as old as time. He entered her, just barely, the scalding heat of her passage beckoning him. He braced himself on one arm, breaching her further, her breath hitching as he filled her. He could feel her body tense, the soft give of her flesh tighten and resist his invasion. But he kept going. He wasn’t stopping now.
Because he loved her, and damn it if she hadn’t made a very convincing argument.
He’d given up everything for his brother and sister. It was time to get something back.
Damn the viscount. He could rot in his grave.
He didn’t have a plan beyond seeing her eyes shutter as she found completion again with him inside her, but for right now that was all he needed. He seated himself fully, their kiss breaking. She tucked her face into his shoulder, but he held himself still and coaxed her out of hiding with kisses to her shoulder and neck.
“Look at me.”
She sucked in a breath and lifted her face, meeting his gaze.
He started to move, holding her gaze, watching the array of emotions that crossed her face.
“I love you,” he said, his heart so full it might explode like a cannon.
Her eyes grew misty.
“I love you,” he said again, thrusting harder, his tempo increasing. Her body no longer resisted his. Her knees rose to his waist and Luc lifted off her chest, admiring the blushing rosettes of her nipples.
Her hand caressed his chest, her nimble fingers toying with the hair and finding touching his areolas. A new arc of arousal shot through him.
“Yes, Jeanie,” he
moaned.
He lowered and kissed her deeply, tasted her cry of ecstasy, giving himself to her in his kiss, in the steady pump of his hips. He’d never felt so much during the act, not just the physical sensations but the heavier emotions, the love they made, the fire that burned inside them merging between their bodies until they burned together.
She arched, pressing her breasts to him, moaning, “Oh Luc, I’m—I’m…”
Her body clutched his tightly and where Luc would have pulled away from her, spilling his seed on the sheets as was his habit with previous women, he closed his eyes, his whole body tensing as his mind went blank, and release crashed through him.
He shuddered, collapsing on top of her. Her arms came around him, and she nuzzled his neck. He was spent, dizzy now. He’d never had a release consume him like that. He moved to the side, pulling the corner of his coverlet over them and just held her, regained his breath and his composure.
Elation, terror, relief all tumbling together inside him like a rock slide. He closed his eyes.
He’d confessed his love, the weight of those words washing over him. And he’d spilled his seed inside her body. She might be carrying his child.
This was…a mistake.
She curled into his side, her eyes closed, her breathing slowing.
No, he took it back. It wasn’t a mistake. He was just panicking. He didn’t know how he would make this work. He absolutely would not, could not take her back to London as his mistress.
Mistress material.
God. He’d hated those words ever since Reggie had uttered them within her hearing. He could never treat her as such. What was he going to do? He closed his eyes, sleep dragging at him.
She nestled closer and he couldn’t resist just stealing a little bit more of this fantasy before they returned to reality.
Chapter 25
They woke sometime later and after a long kiss, Luc escorted her to the back stairs where they parted ways.
Not much was said between them, but Jeanie didn’t know if that was good or bad. She’d said all she could, the three most important words she’d ever uttered, and what’s more, he’d said them back to her.
