by J. L. Wilder
“Like I said,” Lauren mumbled, “he’s not really the dad type.”
“He’s going to figure it out, isn’t he?” Jessica said. “When you give birth about five or six months from now, he’s going to notice.”
“He still doesn’t live here, right?” Lauren said. “Last time I was home, he told me that he was still living wild most of the time.”
“Yeah,” Jessica said. “He’s got a trailer a little way outside town in the woods, and that’s where he lives most of the time—when he’s not running around as a bear, of course. He checks in every few months.”
“So he might not even know exactly when my babies are born,” Lauren said. “He’ll probably notice that I have them eventually. But since I’m going to tell everyone that their father is a human, he’ll have no reason to think it has anything to do with him.”
Jessica’s mouth quirked. “It is pretty hard to picture Wes staying in one place long enough to do any fathering,” she said. “He’s always been distant. Even when we were growing up, he didn’t involve himself that much in my life. And ever since he’s gone off on his own—even if he says he’s going to be home on a certain day, it’s anyone’s guess as to whether he actually will. I hate to say it, but you really are better off not trying to rely on him.”
Lauren nodded. “I know,” she said. “You’re not offended that I’m leaving him out of his children’s lives, right?”
“No way,” Jessica said. “If he wanted to be involved with you, he knew how to make that happen.”
Lauren exhaled. “Thank you,” she said, relieved. She hadn’t been sure how her friend would take this news, but it seemed to be going all right.
“But you will need help,” Jessica said. “You can’t hope to raise your children all alone.”
“I’ll be fine,” Lauren said. She was used to doing things on her own. She had been alone since she had left the den as a twenty-year-old young woman.
“You came back to us because you wanted your children to understand den life,” Jessica said. “Didn’t you?”
“I did,” Lauren said, not sure where her friend was going with this.
“Part of den life is being involved in a community,” she said. “Letting the community participate in raising the children.”
“You just said Cody was a weak alpha,” Lauren argued. “Are you really suggesting that I let him have a direct hand in bringing up my children? Because that sounds worse than having Wes involved.”
“Of course not!” Jessica said, laughing. “Not Cody. I was talking about me, Lauren!”
“You?”
“I’ll be their aunt,” she said. “I want to be a part of their lives. I want to help raise my little nieces or nephews! You know I haven’t been able to have cubs of my own and this would be a blessing!”
“Oh!” Lauren said.
“What? You sound shocked.”
“It’s silly,” Lauren laughed. “It honestly never occurred to me you wouldn’t be mad at me, and you would want to be a part of their lives! But of course they’ll be your nieces and nephews.” Her heart filled at the thought of being able to share this experience with her best friend. She had planned on doing it all alone. But having Jessica by her side would be that much better.
“So?” Jessica pressed. “You’ll let me help with them?”
“Of course,” Lauren said. “They’ll need their cool Aunt Jessica, won’t they? I would never deprive my children of someone so wonderful.”
Jessica reached out and grabbed Lauren’s hands. “I can’t believe it. I’m going to be an aunt!”
“But you can’t tell anyone,” Lauren said again. “I know that sucks for you. I’m sure you want to tell everyone. But if anyone finds that out, they’ll know who the father must be, and I don’t want that. We’re just going to have to act as though you’re close to the babies because you’re my best friend.”
Jessica nodded. “I would want to be close to your babies regardless,” she said. “It won’t be a hard thing for people to believe.”
“I’ll be staying at my mother’s house,” Lauren said.
Jessica nodded. “I’ll come by later and help you get moved in.”
“Thanks,” Lauren said. “That means a lot to me.”
“Well, thank you for telling me,” Jessica said. “I’m glad you’re willing to trust me with your secret. And I promise, my lips are sealed.”
Chapter Four
WES
The clerk at the grocery store stared at Wes as she put his things in a brown paper bag and handed them across the counter to him. He nodded gruffly as he accepted the bag.
He didn’t recognize her. He wasn’t sure whether she was a member of the shifter community or just a random human who happened to have gotten a job at the grocery store they all used.
That’s one of the drawbacks of being away all the time. You can’t tell who’s who anymore.
If Wes could have done things his way, he would have stopped coming back to town altogether. Every time he was here, he felt uncomfortable. He was much more at home in his little trailer a few miles outside of Chicagoland—or better yet, roaming free in the forest preserve that he had made his home when he chose to run wild.
“Thanks,” he murmured to the clerk.
She just stared. He knew how he must look to her.
Even when he was in his human form, Wes thought he looked like a bear. His height and his musculature definitely suggested bear more than human. His hair was long and wild, tangled in several places—he never combed through it with anything more sophisticated than his own fingers. His skin was dark and weathered from all the time he had spent outdoors.
And as he aged, the wildness in his features only seemed to increase. Nowadays, when he looked at himself in the mirror, he almost didn’t recognize himself. It was as if, as he’d grown older, he had grown more into the bear that had always been inside him.
He liked that thought. But he could understand how it would be frightening to a teenage grocery clerk, especially if she was just a human.
This is why I hate being in town, he thought sourly. He was glad that this visit was only going to last a few hours. He had finished all the shopping he needed to do. Now he just had to stop by his sister’s house and say hello to her—she’d be furious if she knew that he’d been in town and hadn’t come by. Once he did that, he would be able to return to his sanctuary.
The grocery bag was probably heavy, but Wes didn’t notice. He lifted heavier things every day—wood for his evening fires, the carcasses of animals he had killed in the wild. He liked to fend for himself.
Of course, there were some things you couldn’t get for yourself in the wild. Wes tried to do without those things as much as he could, and for the most part, he was successful.
But he liked salt for his meat. He liked the occasional bottle of whiskey. And even now, after twenty years living away from the den, he was human enough to crave those indulgences.
As he stepped out of the store and onto the sidewalk, he was already bracing himself for the things Jessica would say.
She did the same thing every time he came home. She always tried to persuade him that he would be happier if he gave up the wild life and bought a house here in the city.
Wes knew for a fact that that wouldn’t make him happy at all. It wasn’t as if he had no experience with city life, after all. He’d grown up here. He knew what it was like. It wasn’t for him.
But he knew that Jess missed him. It was bad enough that her best friend had taken off to live a human life the moment they’d all come of age. Losing her brother on top of that had been really hard for Jessica.
Wes was sorry about that.
But not sorry enough to want to come back home.
Suddenly, he came to an abrupt halt in the middle of the sidewalk.
Oh my God. It’s her.
A part of him genuinely couldn’t believe what he was seeing. He hadn’t expected to see Lauren Wood again for years, an
d maybe not ever. After all, he had gone two solid decades without seeing her after she had moved away to join the human world. He’d almost forgotten her.
But there was no mistaking her. For one thing, nobody else in the den dressed the way Lauren did. Her clothes were clearly new, and they were tailored to fit her. Instead of cotton and denim and leather, which were the fabrics most of the den members wore all the time, Lauren was wearing something that looked softer and shinier.
There was also her haircut. It was so deliberate. The women of the den wore their hair pulled back most of the time because they tended toward shaggy looks.
That was how Lauren had been when they were younger. He could remember running around with her and Jessica as children, all of them in t-shirts and jeans, all of them with the same unkempt hair he and Jess still had.
Lauren looked very different.
And yet...at the same time, she looked very much the same.
He had noticed that when he had seen her at her mother’s funeral a couple months ago. Twenty years had changed his own appearance in fundamental ways, but she looked much the same. Her hair was a bit lighter with a few slim silver streaks and her face was just the smallest bit lined, but other than that, she could have been the same woman he had watched drive away from the den twenty years ago dressed up in nicer clothes.
I should go say hello to her, he thought. That’s the polite thing to do.
Of course, it would be incredibly awkward, given what had happened the last time they had seen each other.
For a moment, he considered turning away and acting as though he hadn’t noticed her.
Then she turned and made eye contact, and the choice was no longer in his hands.
He steeled himself and crossed the street to say hello.
Chapter Five
WES
“Lauren! Hey!”
She looked up. A look of shock crossed her face. “Wes? Wes Simms?”
He frowned. “Yeah,” he said. They had seen each other recently. He knew his appearance could be shocking to people who hadn’t seen him in a while, but Lauren shouldn’t be having that problem.
Maybe something else is wrong.
The last time he saw her, he had been walking away from her right after the two of them had sex.
Maybe she’s angry.
He thought back to that day. He had thought that they’d both had a good time. He certainly had. But he hadn’t stayed around to talk to her about it afterward.
Had that been a mistake?
“Is everything all right?” he asked her.
“I don’t know what you mean.” Her tone was a bit frosty. “Why wouldn’t everything be all right?”
“Well...” He faltered. “I just didn’t expect to see you back in town so quickly. I thought you went back to the suburbs after your mother’s funeral.”
“I did,” she said, folding her arms across her chest. “But now I’m back. Is that a problem?”
“Of course it isn’t a problem.” He was taken aback.
“What are you doing here?” she asked. “You don’t live in the city.”
He hefted his bag of groceries slightly in answer. “I just came to pick up a few things.”
“I thought you lived off the land. Isn’t that, like, your whole deal?”
“Well, the land doesn’t have whiskey,” he said. “Are you mad at me or something?”
She sighed and ran a hand over her face. She looked exhausted all of a sudden.
“No,” she said. “I’m not mad at you.”
“I just came over to say hello,” he said. “I thought—I don’t know.”
“I’m being weird,” she said.
“A little!”
“Don’t worry about it. I’ve just had a rough couple of weeks.”
Abruptly, he felt abashed. Of course she had had a rough couple of weeks. Her mother had died, and she had had to deal with the hassle of selling the house.
“I'm sorry,” he said. “I wasn’t thinking. Of course you’re having a hard time right now.”
She looked up at him, a strange expression crossing her face. “Why do you say that?”
“I’m agreeing with you,” he said, bemused.
“Right.” Lauren shook her head. “Don’t pay any attention to me, Wes. Seriously. It was nice of you to come say hi, but...you don’t have to.”
“I know I don’t have to,” Wes said. “I was happy to see you. Is that hard to believe?”
“Don’t you have somewhere you need to be?” she asked.
“I’m going over to Jessica’s,” he said. “You want to come? I’m sure she’d be happy to see you.”
“No,” Lauren said, almost too quickly. “Thanks. No. I’m going home.”
“Home like...Palatine? That’s where your restaurant is, right?”
“You know that?”
“Sure I do. Jessica told me.”
“Not Palatine,” she said. “I’m staying with the den, in the city for a while.”
“Do you have a place here?”
“Yeah. My mother’s house never sold, so I’m just moving in there.”
Then she bit her lip, looking almost as if she regretted telling him that.
But it’s the absolute most likely place for her to go. Why would she regret telling me? Unless she just wants to be absolutely sure that I don’t pay her a visit...
Wes was starting to feel slightly offended by Lauren’s behavior. She had told him she’d wanted sex. She’d begged him for it. She had given him no indication that she’d been unhappy at any point in the proceedings.
And it wasn’t like he had come over here to ask for seconds. He was just saying hello, for God’s sake. What was so offensive to her about that?
“Well,” he said, “I’ll let you get back, then.”
Lauren turned on the spot and walked away from him so fast that she was almost running.
Jesus. That’s weird.
He stared after her for a few minutes, shaking his head, wondering what the hell her problem was.
Then he turned and headed down the sidewalk in the opposite direction, toward his sister’s house.
Maybe Jessica will be able to explain what’s up with her.
After all, Jessica and Lauren had been close friends all throughout their childhood. If Lauren was back in the city for an extended stay, Jessica would have been the first one she’d told. He had no doubt that his sister already knew that Lauren was here. She probably even knew what had compelled Lauren to come back, Wes thought, realizing that he hadn’t asked her.
Although, given how weird Lauren had been with him, there was every chance in the world that she had been equally weird with Jess.
At least that would prove that it isn’t about me, and I could stop worrying that I did something to offend her.
He was probably overthinking it. He knew his social skills were kind of a mess. That was what happened when you spent most of your time living out in the woods, going months without speaking to another human being. Things were a little weird with everyone Wes encountered.
It’s just that usually, I’m the one being weird.
But Lauren wouldn’t have been accustomed to his wild ways. She would have been feeling awkward about the fact that they had slept together last time they’d seen one another. And, of course, she was still grieving for her mother.
There are plenty of explanations for the way she was acting. I didn’t do anything to upset her.
So why didn’t he feel reassured?
He turned onto Jessica’s street, readjusting his grocery bag in his arms. Suddenly, he felt an urge to take out his bottle of whiskey and have a drink.
Maybe Jess will be up for a couple of shots. And she’ll want to talk through all of this, of course. Jess loves talking.
He jogged up the steps to her front door and rang the bell, confident that his sister would have him feeling better about his strange encounter with Lauren in no time.
Chapter Six
&
nbsp; WES
“I brought you some of your favorite chips,” Wes said, setting his bag of groceries down on Jessica’s kitchen table. “And that white wine you like.”
Jessica rooted in the bag and pulled out the chips and wine. She tossed the chip bag on the table and went to get her corkscrew. “Perfect,” she said. “Can you stay and watch a movie?”
“I don’t know,” Wes hedged.
“Oh, come on,” Jessica said. “You can’t expect me to believe that you urgently need to get back to the woods, for God’s sake. You can stay for a while.”
“Isn’t Cody having one of those parties of his tonight?” Wes said. “I want to be gone before that starts up, or everyone will stop me and try to talk to me on my way out. I don’t need that shit.”
“That won’t be for hours,” Jessica said. “Come on. Stay and have some wine. I promise I’ll get you out of here before the party starts.”
“Fine,” Wes said. “Only because I want a drink.”
“I know, I know,” Jessica said. “It has nothing to do with wanting to spend time with me. Got it.”
“Aw, Jess, I never said that.”
“I’m teasing you.” She poured a glass of wine and handed it to him. “Come on. I’ll even let you pick the movie. But I get to drink from the bottle.”
“You have a problem.”
“Yeah. My problem is that my brother lives in the woods and I only see him three times a year—if I’m lucky.”
“You just saw me a couple of months ago.” He sat down on the couch.
“That doesn’t count. You were home for Lauren’s mother’s funeral.”
“It still counts,” he said. “Speaking of Lauren, you know she’s back in town?”
Jessica avoided his gaze. “Yeah, I know.”
“She’s moving into her mother’s house,” he prompted. “Seems like she’s sticking around for a while.”
“So...you saw her?”
“I just ran into her on my way over here.”
“Hmm.”
“She seemed kind of...I don’t know. Out of sorts, I guess. Did something happen? Is she okay?”
