by J. L. Wilder
“It’s okay if you want to come to my place wearing clothes sometimes, you know,” Wes said.
Lauren didn’t laugh. “I thought you took off.”
“I did.”
“You came back?”
“I don’t know. Maybe temporarily.”
“Right.” Her hands came to rest on her stomach. She seemed to do that without thinking about it, and he wondered if it had become habit for her. Seeing her holding her children like that made him want to stay and watch her even more.
Pregnancy is really kind of beautiful on her.
“Do you want to come inside?” he asked.
She hesitated. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”
“Just to talk,” he said. She must have come out here for a reason, after all.
She nodded slowly.
He led the way in and gestured to a seat, turning to the fridge to grab a couple of soft drinks. He handed her one.
She took it and raised an eyebrow. “Not a beer this time?”
“You’re pregnant.”
“I know I am.”
“Well, so you can’t very well drink beer.”
“I’m just impressed you remembered, that’s all.”
He grinned. “What brings you out here, Lauren?”
“I could ask you the same thing.”
“I live here.”
“You haven’t been here in weeks. In months. And you know that.”
“Have you been looking for me?”
“Knock it off.”
He laughed and took a sip of his soda. “Seriously, what’s up?”
“Did you know my cousin Emmett is living in these woods?”
Wes stared. “No, he isn’t.”
“I’m telling you, I just saw him. He’s keeping a whole den of his own out here.”
“Lauren, he can’t be. If there were other bears in this area, I would have noticed.”
“Maybe something’s wrong with your senses, then.”
“There’s nothing wrong with my senses. You’re the one who’s spent twenty years walking around human. Maybe you don’t know what you’re smelling.”
“No,” Lauren insisted. “I didn’t smell them, Wes. I heard them. They were talking.”
“You’re kidding.”
“Why would I kid about it? There’s nothing funny about this.” She shook her head. “If you had been there—if you’d heard the things they were saying—”
“What do you mean? What were they saying?”
“They were talking about attacking the den.” Lauren shuddered again. “I think Emmett wants to overthrow Cody.”
“It’s about time someone took that fucker out,” Wes said.
“Wes!”
“What?”
“You’re talking about the den where Jessica lives! Where I live! Where our children are going to be born!”
It was the first time she’d really acknowledged that they were his children as well as hers. Wes felt a pang of something like longing.
And then Lauren burst into tears.
“Whoa.” Wes dropped into the seat beside her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “Hey, it’s okay. What’s wrong?”
“It’s just been so much,” she sobbed. “I came back here thinking it would be a safe place to raise my babies, Wes. I thought that they’d be able to be part of the den, that they’d grow up surrounded by family, like we did. We had happy childhoods, didn’t we?”
“For the most part,” he said, rubbing her back. “But it was a different time. We were under a different alpha then.”
She nodded. “It’s been so awful since I got back. Cody is terrible. Maybe Emmett is right to try to take him out! But how can I even think such a thing? How can I be hoping for war in my own community? Oh my God, if anything happens to these babies—”
“Hey, slow down,” Wes said. “You’re breathing too fast, Lauren. I think you’re panicking.”
She gasped for air.
“Look at me,” he said. “Breathe with me.”
Her eyes met his, and he saw her trying to bring her breathing under control.
“You’re good,” he whispered. “You’ve got this. You’re fine.”
“The babies—”
“No, honey. Nothing’s going to happen to the babies. I promise.”
She looked up at him, and he saw that her eyes were filled with tears.
He’d called her honey. He’d said it out loud. And she had noticed. She knew, now, the way he felt about her.
He removed his arm from around her shoulders in case she wanted to run, the way she had last time. The way he had the time before.
But she didn’t run.
She reached out and took his hand instead.
“You’ll keep us safe,” she said quietly. “I know you’ll keep us safe.”
He nodded. “I will. I care what happens to them too, you know. I’m not going to let them get hurt.”
Lauren closed her eyes and shuddered.
He scooped her up in his arms, gratified to find that he could still lift her easily, despite her growing pregnancy. She curled into him and allowed him to carry her over to the bed.
He laid her down gently. “You need to rest,” he murmured. “Take a moment.”
She clung to his hand. “Stay with me?”
Wes hesitated for only a moment before lying down beside her and taking her in his arms.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
WES
Her body felt entirely different this time. That was the first thing he noticed.
It had been one thing to look at her, to see the growth and change in her. But now, feeling her pressed up against him, it was almost more than he could stand.
He was used to the bear within him reacting out of anger, bursting forth in times of stress or when a fight was close at hand. He had never felt the bear make his satisfaction known like this before. It was almost as if the animal was purring—a deep, satisfied rumble from within.
It emerged from his lips in a soft growl. Lauren stared up at him wonderingly.
He had brought her to bed to let her rest after her panic attack. He hadn’t brought her here to sleep with her. But now, his body was reacting to hers in ways he hadn’t anticipated.
I probably should have anticipated it. This happens every time I see her!
Her breathing was fast and erratic. Carefully, he reached out and placed a hand on the side of her face.
“Are you all right?” he murmured. He didn’t want her to panic again.
“I don’t know what’s happening,” she whispered.
“Nothing is happening,” he said. “Nothing has to happen. We’re just lying here.”
His body ached in protest. He wanted so much more from this moment! But he wouldn’t be the one to push for it. Not this time. She would come to him, or nothing would happen at all.
Lauren drew a breath and leaned into him, resting her head against his chest.
“What if I want something to happen?” she asked.
“You can have whatever you want.”
She looked up at him. “Don’t say that to me.”
“Why not?”
“Because I can’t have whatever I want, can I?” she asked. “Not when it comes to these babies of yours. Not when it comes to you, and whether you’re in our lives or not.”
Was she trying to tell him she wanted him around? Or was she reiterating that she didn’t want him?
It didn’t matter. “You can have whatever you want in that way, too,” he said. He brought his hand to rest on her swollen belly. “You’re their mother. You’re the one who’s giving them life. I should never have tried to fight with you about this.”
“Then...if I want you to...you’d stay with us? You’d be a father to them?”
He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “You’d let me?”
“I never thought you’d want to.”
“I never thought I would either,” he admitted. “Not until...not
until now.”
Her lips met his crushingly, silencing whatever he might have said next.
Their bodies strained for one another now, and their clothing was an obstacle to be overcome. Wes lifted his hips, allowing her to shimmy his pants down while at the same time easing the shirt she had borrowed from him up over her head. When they were fully naked, skin against skin, they stopped for a moment.
“God,” Wes whispered. “You’re beautiful.”
Her cheeks flushed. “Really?”
“Have you seen yourself lately? You’re glowing.” She was so full and lush, like ripe fruit, and God, he wanted a taste...
He slid down her body, taking her ankles in his hands and bending her legs, planting her feet. Then he positioned himself between her legs and wrapped his arms beneath her thighs, pulling her close.
He exhaled.
She shuddered and moaned.
Fuck, she smells amazing.
He licked her slowly, tightening his arms around her, letting his tongue explore every inch of her, and she writhed against his face. He could actually feel her pulse against his mouth. It was strange and intoxicating.
“Wes,” she sobbed. “Wes, God, this is so good.”
He didn’t want to pull away from her, to stop what he was doing, but he did. Propping himself up on his elbows, he looked up at her.
She was panting, her eyelids fluttering, but when he stopped, she looked down at him.
“You can have whatever you want,” he said firmly. “I’ll take care of you, Lauren. I promise.”
She managed a nod. “Keep going, okay?”
He returned to licking her. He pressed his tongue slowly into her, feeling her heat and softness—
Her thighs shuddered around his ears, and she made a noise that was half moan and half whine.
God, I want to taste it when she comes.
He rolled onto his side, taking her with him so that his head was pillowed on her thigh. The angle was better this way. He could get closer. He could get more of her. He inched his way in, pressing his whole face against her, fucking her slowly with his tongue.
She rode his face, soaking him. The scent of her was the only thing he could smell, and it was like a drug. He wanted it to seep into his pores and never leave him.
He was hard. He was so hard. He wanted so badly to be inside her, especially since they hadn’t discussed what was going to happen when this was over. Was this the last time they would be together so intimately? If he knew he’d have a chance to really fuck her later, it would be different...
But he wanted to give her everything. He wanted to show her that he would put her first, so that she wouldn’t have to doubt.
She shuddered around him, and he felt her whole body begin to tense up. It drove all other thoughts from his mind. It felt as if he was a part of her.
God, I fucking love her.
He had no time to process that thought, to wonder what he had meant by it or where it had come from. Moments later, she was screaming his name.
Chapter Thirty
WES
He crawled up the bed and lay down beside her, pulling her sweaty body into his arms.
Lauren started to rise.
“Wait,” Wes murmured.
She looked over at him.
“Don’t go,” he said. “Stay with me. Stay here.”
“You don’t want that.”
“Is that why you ran off so fast after the last time we had sex?” he asked. “Because you thought I didn’t want you here?”
She looked away from him and didn’t answer.
He turned her face gently back to him. “Because I do want you here,” he said. “That’s why I keep inviting you here. Every time I see you in my woods, I invite you in.”
“You’re not just being polite?”
“I’m not a polite person,” he pointed out.
She chuckled. “I guess that’s true,” she admitted. “But, Wes...what’s going on with us? I don’t understand. I can’t tell if you hate me, or—”
“Hate you? Of course I don’t hate you. I could never hate you.”
“You were so angry with me when you found out that I was pregnant,” she said softly. “I thought you resented the fact that...”
“That what? That you got pregnant?”
“Well, yes.”
“Lauren. Don’t you hear how that sounds? We both decided to have sex. We’re both responsible for what happened.”
“But I thought—” She took a breath. “I thought that you might blame me because of my age. Maybe you assumed that I couldn’t have children because we’re past the fertile times in our lives. And maybe I should have been more responsible, somehow. I should have known that I could still conceive. I should have protected against this.”
“I could have asked you if you were using any birth control,” Wes pointed out. “I could have used a condom. I made choices too.” He looked her in the eyes. “Are you sorry you’re pregnant? Do you wish you weren’t?”
“No,” she said. “It was a surprise, but I’m glad it happened. I’m glad I’m going to be a mother.”
“You’re going to be a good one.” He caught her hand and squeezed it.
“And you’re not upset about it either? You really did seem angry.”
“I wasn’t angry because you were pregnant, though,” he said. “I was angry because...well, to be honest with you, I was humiliated.”
“Humiliated? Why?”
“I was the last to know,” he said simply.
“You’re not the last to know. Almost no one knows you’re the father.”
“The last to know that you were pregnant,” he rephrased.
“Well, maybe,” she conceded. “But why did that make you mad? I didn’t think you wanted to be a father. I thought I was doing you a favor by not telling you, to be honest.”
“It took me a while to figure out why it bothered me so much,” he said. Then he laughed. “That time I spent living as a bear really helped me to clear my head, I guess.”
“What did you figure out?” she asked.
“It wasn’t about wanting to be a father,” he said. “It wasn’t about not wanting to be a father. It doesn’t feel like that’s a choice that needs to be made. I am going to be a father. Those babies...they’re me. They’re a part of me.” He shook his head. “That probably doesn’t make any sense.”
“That makes a lot of sense,” Lauren said softly. “That’s exactly the way I feel about them, Wes. They’re a part of me.”
He threaded his fingers through hers. “This part of me,” he said, bringing their joined hands to rest on her naked stomach, “had just been out there in the world for weeks—months—without my knowing about it.”
She nodded.
He squeezed her hand. “Anything could have happened,” he said. “You could have lost the babies, or something could have happened to you, and I would never have known. I would never have known that they had existed at all.”
“Oh,” she breathed.
“It took me a while to understand that fear, because...well, because it’s not something I’ve ever had to worry about before. I’ve never cared this much about something I didn’t even know I had.”
“You’re right,” she said. “God, you’re right. I should have told you. Of course I should have. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s all right,” he said. “We’re in unfamiliar territory here.”
“And I spent all this time thinking you hated me.”
“I definitely don’t hate you,” he said. “I shouldn’t have run out after that first time we had sex, but I thought you might not be happy with me. You’d just lost your mother, and maybe you were too vulnerable. Maybe I shouldn’t have—”
“No, I wanted it,” she assured him. “I’m the one who shouldn’t have run away the last time we were together. You were right about me. I run from things.”
“We don’t have to do that to each other anymore,” Wes said.
Sh
e gazed into his eyes, clinging to his hand. It felt to Wes as if she was holding onto him like a lifeline.
“Let’s not run away from each other this time,” he said. “This time, I want you to stay.”
“Stay here?”
“In the trailer with me,” he confirmed.
“For how long?”
“All night. Let me make you breakfast in the morning.”
Then he grinned. “Let me at least help feed those babies of mine,” he said. “It’s the least I can do.”
She smiled. “I’d love to stay the night,” she said.
Chapter Thirty-One
LAUREN
Awareness stole over Lauren slowly.
The first thing that broke through the fog of sleep was the sensation of fingers on her bare skin. Wes’s fingers, strong and sturdy. She was surprised by her instant recognition of those fingers—she knew it was him even before she had fully remembered the night before, and everything that had happened between them.
He confined his explorations to her arm, stroking from her shoulder down to her wrist, circling the back of her hand, then working his way back up. Though she was still naked in his arms from their lovemaking the night before, he did not touch her anywhere else.
Lovemaking! It was such a strange word to use, particularly about Wes. But it fit. He had loved her last night. He had shown her that so eloquently that she couldn’t possibly question it.
She sighed and shifted a little in his arms. She would have expected to feel uncomfortable here, sleeping in this trailer, on this bed that was harder than the one she had in her home in the city and much less luxurious than the one she’d left behind in Palatine. But to her surprise, she didn’t have any of the body aches or soreness that usually came from sleeping in a new place.
It was as if she was twenty years younger.
Wes moved a little behind her, and then his lips were against the back of her neck, warm and soft. She sighed at the touch and adjusted herself in his arms so that they were as close as they could be, so that he was wrapped around her with no room left between them.
“You’re awake,” he murmured.
“Mmm.” She squirmed a little in his arms, enjoying the sensation of warmth and sturdiness behind her. “How long have you been watching me sleep?”
