Ch. 10—The Wedding Plans a.k.a. Absolute Torture
Going to the dentist…having surgery without anesthesia…going to school ALL YEAR…sitting next to your worst enemy…cleaning your toilet with your toothbrush and then using it on your teeth…I would have chosen any of the above instead of enduring the WEDDING PLANS!
First, we had to make a guest list. Next, I had to address all of the invitations. After that, I had to go with my mother as she chose her dress, an endless process. She tried on a zillion dresses, asked my opinion and didn’t even listen to it. In my true opinion, she shouldn’t be wearing any of them because she shouldn’t be getting married EVER, but I had no say in the matter. So, I oohed and ahhed about each one and in the end had nothing to do with what she chose.
My dress selection was just as much fun as she brought me to a collection of frilly, girlie, princess dresses. They were absolutely disgusting for a tomboy that felt at home in t-shirts and cut-off jeans. I absolutely, stubbornly refused to wear anything with ruffles and lace, finally choosing a simple, white sundress with lavender flowers.
As if all of this wasn’t enough, we had to go to the caterers to find the perfect menu. Then, there were tents and chairs and flowers to order so that this blissful event could take place in our very own back yard!
However, the most painful horror of all was yet to come. The very thought of it made me want to gag and stay hidden in my room, to wish for a monster under the bed to devour me and leave nothing behind but a spare bone or two. No matter how I hoped and prayed, nothing could save me from…THE SHOWER! I didn’t think there would be such a thing for my mother. I mean…weren’t bridal showers for young brides or at least new brides that had never done this before and planned for an entire lifetime of happiness. That was a good reason to shower them with gifts. Why did my mother need all of this hoo-ha? She didn’t need any more stuff and personally I didn’t see the need for this wedding extravaganza. It felt like a funeral to me. I wish they had eloped in Vegas and left me in the dark. I could have gone on with my regular—what was left of it—life and John could keep on visiting. I would never know the difference.
A sudden thought hit me while I was hiding behind the sofa at Rachel Anderson’s house. Rachel was my mother’s best friend and matron of honor. Thank God I had been spared that duty and could fade into the background as a junior bridesmaid. Rachel felt the burning need to fulfill every duty, as a matron and best friend, to the letter. Therefore, she was putting on a surprise shower!
The thought that hit me like a two ton elephant and had me gasping for breath was this one: John Collier would be living under our roof, sleeping in my father’s bed, sitting in Daddy’s chair. I wondered if he’d be wearing his clothes. I would take care of that. Operation Remove All Traces of Daddy would begin tomorrow. I would hide everything in my room and try and forget that this new man would be trying to take over Daddy’s life!
My cheeks burned with anger. There should be a law against this, there should be something I could do…what was that movie I saw where the little girl divorced herself from her rich and spoiled parents? I wanted to become a …whatyacallit…emancipated minor. I would look in the phone book for a lawyer tomorrow. I would do something about my selfish mother and her new husband shoving his way through our door, I would…
“Surprise!” Everyone shouted and jumping out from their hiding places as my mother walked in. jumped out with them and played the part of the loving, happy daughter but inside I was fuming. Magic lesson learned: Go with the flow and play along. Everyone will pay attention to the show and not see that you are a volcano about to explode!
LakeSide Magic Page 9
