by Frankie Love
I’ve done my best to make her believe I’m the reformed black sheep of the family, and it’s true for the most part, but that doesn’t mean I’m ready to settle down. I thought I was once. Things didn’t work out. It was for the best, and looking back now, Mom was right when she said Amelia wasn’t the right girl for me.
Real life isn’t as perfect as those Wild West romance novels my mom reads where a hero pops up at the last minute and saves the world so that everyone can live their happily ever after. People don’t fall in love at first sight. Hell, even if they do, there’s a damn good chance they’ll fall out of love before they make it to the altar. That’s exactly what happened with Amelia, and we dodged a bullet that didn’t come from an outlaw’s gun.
I think my mom has been reading so many of those books that she’s decided to live one of her own out right here in Snow Valley. Titan Corporation wants to buy our town and turn it into a tourist hotspot. My mom wants my brothers and me to be the heroes. Pool our money. Buy the town before Titan Corporation can take over. But there’s a twist. There always is. Due to some antiquated law set up by the founder of Snow Valley, the town can’t be sold unless the person buying it is married.
Oh, 1867—you had no idea how time would pass you by. If someone tried to pass a law like that today, they’d get roasted over the open flame of public opinion, and there’s no way in hell it would actually go through.
“Time for a drink…” I mutter to myself as I put out my cigarette.
Maybe I’ll wake up tomorrow and all of this will be a bad dream.
The brochure is still beside my bed where I left it when I wake up. It wasn’t a dream. Neither is my hangover. Thank God I don’t have to go to work today. I start my coffee, brush my teeth, shower, and by the time I finish my first cup of coffee, I feel like I’m starting to recover from my evening.
Just when I think I might have a peaceful morning, there is a knock at my door, and I look through the window to see my father standing outside.
“Good morning, Dad…” I open the door and take a step back. “Come on in.”
“Hope you’re hungry.” He holds up a bag. “I brought breakfast.”
“Why do I feel like this is a bribe?” I walk over and pour him a cup of coffee as he puts our breakfast on the table.
“Not a bribe. I just wanted to have breakfast with my son.” He chuckles under his breath.
“Yeah?” I hand him a cup of coffee. “How did I win the lottery? There’s six of us. There must be a reason you decided to spend your morning with me.”
“It’s not the first time I’ve brought you breakfast, Nate.” He sits down at the table.
“I know.” I narrow my eyes. “But it’s the first time you’ve brought me breakfast after Mom decided to arrange six weddings.”
“I’ll admit, I thought it was a little crazy when I heard it too.” He nods. “I wanted all of you to live your own lives and spend your money however you pleased.”
“I have no problem buying the town.” I shrug. “I told you that at dinner. I’m in Snow Valley for the long haul. It’s the other part I’m not so sure of.”
“Your Mail-Order Bride is coming whether you’re ready for her or not.” He takes a bite of his food. “Surely you’re not going to leave the poor girl standing on your front porch when she shows up?”
“I just might…” I laugh it off, but I’m somewhat serious.
The conversation continues. My father has good intentions. I get it. My mother does too. She has six grown sons, and none of us are married. She wants us to find the kind of happiness she has with our dad. Saving Snow Valley just lines up perfectly with everything else that she’s wanted for her family.
Dad drops the mail-order bride business after working me over all that he can. Once he’s gone, I pick up the brochure again and flip through it for what feels like the millionth time. At this rate, I’m going to wear out the pages before my bride ever shows up on my doorstep.
I still don’t know if I’m going to let her in or send her packing.
Chapter Two
Catriona
“Order up, Catriona.” A bell brings me out of my daze. “Table six.”
“Yes, sir, Mr. Smith.” I nod to my boss and grab the tray filled with three orders of burgers and fries.
Table six. They’ve been nothing but jerks since they walked through the door. Three guys from the local university. Arrogant and condescending. It’s just my luck that they got put in my section.
I take the tray to their table and begin putting the burgers down.
“Okay, one medium-cooked cheeseburger with pickles and mayo.” I put it down in front of the guy who ordered it.
“Wait…” The guy beside him gives me a perplexed stare. “I ordered that one.”
“Oh? You did?” I blink a couple of times and move the plate over to him. “I’m so sorry.”
“No wonder you’re waiting tables.” The first guy shakes his head. “Too bad you can’t even get that right…”
“My apologies.” I ignore his comment and try to keep a smile on my face. “Well, if that wasn’t your burger, then I assume this one is. Well done with lettuce, onions and mustard?”
“No, that’s mine.” The third guy motions to me.
“Oh wait.” The second guy shakes his head. “That one was mine, shit I already took a bite of this one. We’re going to need another burger.”
“What?” I look at him in confusion.
“You said pickles, I thought that I ordered pickles, but I didn’t. That was Jay.” He pushes the burger he’s taken a bite out of in front of the first guy.
“Yep, the pickles were mine.” Jay nods. “I’m not eating it after he’s taken a bite out of it."
"Of course." I move the plate back to my tray.
They’re fucking with me. I can see them trying not to laugh. I had their orders right the first time, but they just want to make my life miserable. Why? I’m a waitress barely making minimum wage at a café.
“I should probably just speak to your manager.” The second guy nods. “Can you get him for me? This meal should be free since you fucked it up.”
“I…” My blood begins to boil. “Yes, sir. Right away.”
That’s their game. A free meal. As if they need it. The polo shirt Jay is wearing costs more than I’ll make this weekend in tips, and they certainly won’t be leaving me anything. All I can do is go tell Mr. Smith that the gentlemen at table six want to talk to him. He’ll comp their meal. He’s a pushover. Then he’ll take it out of my check because the customer is always right. I screw up enough on my own without having a group of arrogant jerks steal money out of my pocket. But what can I do? I need to keep this job if I want to pay my rent.
I just have to make it through the rest of my shift without strangling one of my customers…
Home sweet hell.
An apartment on the east side of purgatory that I share with a girl who deals drugs to pay her rent and another girl who smokes so much weed in the living room I get a contact buzz just walking through the door.
“What’s up Kitty-Cat?” My roommate Laura looks up from her bong long enough to acknowledge me.
“Just getting off work.” I force myself to smile. “Gina around?”
“Nah, she’s making her runs.” Laura laughs. It’s a stoner laugh. There’s nothing funny at all, but she finds everything hilarious. “Want to watch some TV? I just started the newest episode of South Park. It’s hilarious!”
“Maybe later.” I nod. “I need to make a couple phone calls. I’ll be in my room if you need me.”
“Cool.” She leans forward, and I hear her bong start to bubble.
She’s wrapped her bong in Christmas lights. How festive. It might be the only holiday decoration we have in our apartment this year.
I never imagined I would end up here. Living with a drug dealer and a pothead. I had a good life, once upon a time, and it felt like a fairy-tale. Not anymore. That’s all in the past. I d
on’t live anymore. I just exist.
I need a fresh start. Anything, really. I’d even settle for better roommates. That’s the first call I have to make. Our lease is coming up, and while it will be tough to swing my share of the rent, I responded to an ad for a roommate in a much better part of town.
“Hello, this is Catriona Phillips. I called you yesterday about your ad for a roommate?” I sit down on my bed. “Oh, you already found someone. Okay, thank you.”
Another dead end. Just like my life.
My next call is to my mother. The conversation is fairly brief. We don’t have a lot to say to each other these days. There was a time when we would have spent hours talking about things we wanted to buy, my plans for college, and how we were going to gang up on my father so that he would take us to whatever exotic location we wanted to go on vacation.
Those days are long behind us.
After talking to my mother, I reach for my laptop and fight to get it connected to our neighbor’s Wi-Fi. He’s generous enough to leave it open so others can use it. I wish everyone were as nice as him. I don’t know how long I’ll be able to keep leeching it. My laptop seems to be on its last legs, and it will be a while before I can afford a new one.
“Oh wow.” I stare at an email in my inbox, and it feels like the wind is sucked out my chest immediately.
I have an email from a woman named Holly Huckleberry. I’m scared to click on it. One night, after spending a little too long in the living room in the middle of Laura’s bong haze and drinking some cheap wine that Gina brought home, I signed up for a Mail-Order Brides service.
I never expected to get a reply. I thought it was some kind of joke, but I felt like I was as close to rock bottom as I could get.
It’s gotten worse since then.
“This is crazy…” I click the email and start reading it.
It might have seemed like a joke when I signed up for it, but Holly’s response isn’t. She’s found a match for me. A woman in a town called Snow Valley has six sons who aren’t married, and Holly believes I’m a perfect match for one of them.
A guy named Nate. He’s a mechanic, well, he owns the mechanic’s shop in Snow Valley. He’s twenty-nine. Nine years older than me. His mother describes him as a bit rough around the edges, but a genuine sweetheart once you get to know him.
I fall back on my bed and stare at the crack in my ceiling. Sometimes I have nightmares that a million roaches or spiders are going to crawl out of that crack while I’m sleeping.
My father used to always say that life is a trajectory, and if you’re doing it right, it’s always an upward trajectory. Mine used to be headed that way. Before my father lost everything. Before the guy I was supposed to marry called off the engagement. He never said he was with me because of my father’s money, but the timing sure was suspect.
My trajectory has been firmly pointed toward the ground since then.
Maybe this is how I change it.
I sit up and begin responding to the email. I could slave away in that diner for years and never get my feet under me. I’m sure they have a diner in Snow Valley. I need a fresh start anyway, and if things don’t work out with Nate, a quiet little town would be a whole lot better than this place. Who knows, maybe this is the trajectory my life needs right now.
The instructions from Holly Huckleberry say that if I sign the agreement, all I have to do is get on a plane and everything else will be taken care of. That sure does sound nice.
Chapter Three
Nate
The minutes tick away. A woman is going to be appearing on my doorstep today, but I’m not sure exactly when she will arrive. My mom tried to show me a picture, but I decided that I didn’t want to judge her before I got a chance to see her with my own eyes. Looks aren’t everything. It doesn’t matter how pretty someone is if they are a raging bitch. I found that out the hard way. I know my mom put a lot of thought into it and chose someone that she believes will be a perfect match for me.
Internally, I’m still struggling with it all. It still seems like insanity. I’ve just decided to let it play out and see what happens. Like my dad said, she’s coming, and if I don’t open the door, I’m going to have to leave her standing on the porch.
I don’t think I could do that to anyone, even if a few people in this town think I’ve got a mean streak big enough to do it. There are a few guys I’ve tangled with at my brother’s pub that would testify to it, and I’ve worn handcuffs after a few of those brawls.
I’m somewhat curious to find out what kind of girl my mom picked out for the self-proclaimed black sheep of the Mistletoe family.
Time continues to pass. I start to wonder if my potential bride-to-be will even show up. After all, what woman in her right mind agrees to be a mail-order bride in the first place? She’s had plenty of time to change her mind, just like I had plenty of time to warm up to the idea. I’m still somewhat bitter about being put in the situation, but I may be even more bitter about the whole ordeal if I end up sitting here like a fool all day.
As if on cue, I hear a car outside. My pulse begins to race. I made sure everyone knew not to disturb me today. If there’s a car outside my house, there’s only one logical explanation.
Catriona is here.
I walk to the door and hear soft footsteps in the gravel outside. I want to peek out the window, but I can’t bring myself to do it. I wait with my hand on the doorknob and open it as soon as I hear a knock.
She’s gorgeous. Curly blonde hair, gray eyes that look like the calming sky after a winter storm rolls through Snow Valley, and I say her name like a soft exhale. “You must be Catriona.”
“You must be Nate.” She smiles, and it’s enough to melt every bit of bitterness inside me. Her smile is absolutely intoxicating.
“Please, come inside. Do you need any help with your bags? Surely that isn’t your only suitcase…” I glance at the one in her left hand and look up to see the car that brought her pulling away.
“The rest of my luggage is supposed to arrive in a couple of days.” She walks into my house. “I just packed enough for a few days so that I didn’t have to drag it all through the airport.”
“Smart.” I nod and take her bag. “Come, I’ll give you the grand tour.”
The grand tour isn’t much. I show her my kitchen, dining room, living room, the main bathroom, the master bedroom, and finally arrive at the last room at the end of the hallway.
“You have a very nice place.” She stops to look at the family photographs on the wall in the hallway. “Is this your family?”
“Yep.” I nod. “Every living Mistletoe and a few who aren’t with us anymore.”
“Your mother must have had her hands full.” She looks at the photo of our entire family. “Six boys?”
“We didn’t make it easy for her.” I laugh under my breath and motion to the guest room. “You’re in here. I know it isn’t much. I don’t have that many guests.”
“Oh, okay.” She watches as I put her suitcase on the bed and then glances down the hallway toward the master bedroom. “I guess I just assumed…”
“Well, I didn’t want to assume…” I can feel the awkwardness in the air.
“This is perfect.” She smiles and walks into the guest room.
I feel like a teenager stumbling my way through my very first date. I’m not really sure how this is supposed to work. Should I have put her in the master bedroom? Is she offended that I didn’t? We are supposed to get married.
But we’re not married yet. We’re certainly not in love. Maybe I should’ve looked at her picture before she arrived because it would’ve given me time to prepare myself. I don’t know what any of my brothers did. Mom might not have even given them the same option. Perhaps she offered it to me because she knew I would be absolutely dumbstruck when I laid eyes on my gorgeous bride-to-be.
“I’ll let you take some time to get settled in. I was just about to make some lunch. Are you hungry?” I take a step toward the door.<
br />
“A little.” She turns to me and nods. “I ate some peanuts on the plane.”
“Well that’s certainly not a meal.” I shake my head. “I’ll go whip something up.”
My mom sent over some of her world-famous chicken salad yesterday. Snow-Valley-famous at least. Too bad she didn’t send over any of her fruitcake or brown sugar bourbon. I wouldn’t mind a little of both right now, although it’s a little early for the latter. My mom probably wouldn’t send me home with a whole bottle anyway.
I get two chicken salad sandwiches made just in time for Catriona to walk into the kitchen. The sight of her takes my breath away for the second time. I fumble over my words as I get the plates to the table and pull out her chair.
This is going great. I was so worried that I wouldn’t like the girl who showed up on my front porch that I didn’t even think it could be me who wanted to impress her instead of the other way around.
Now I’m trapped in an intoxicating smile, and I don’t know how I’m going to avoid falling head over heels before the sun goes down.
Chapter Four
Catriona
I don’t know what I was expecting when I walked up to Nate’s door, but I wasn’t prepared to see a tall mountain of a man who made me want to melt into a puddle the first time I laid eyes on him.
I guess they really know how to raise them in Snow Valley, because he’s hot-as-sin and looks like he was chiseled from a fantasy. He definitely looks a little rough around the edges, just like Holly Huckleberry said, but I wouldn’t turn a guy down just because he has a few tattoos. He certainly doesn’t seem to be a metrosexual man-baby like the guy I almost married turned out to be.
