by Becky Wicks
‘What do you mean, I can’t sell? It’s my half. I appreciate it, I really do, it’s...life-changing. But I can’t work here with you at Everleigh.’
‘I know we have history.’ He sounded almost regretful now and she felt sick again, just remembering how many nights she’d cried herself to sleep waiting for the call from him that had never come. ‘We’ve both done things that hurt the other...’
‘What did I do to hurt you, exactly?’ Jodie was genuinely baffled. He’d left her so broken it had taken months, maybe even years to reassemble the shattered fragments of her former self. Cole said nothing, his mouth becoming a thin line. It dawned on her what he’d meant.
‘Do you mean getting married and having a baby? Did I hurt you by moving on with my life?’ she said incredulously.
Cole eyebrows furrowed. ‘It was only six months after we broke up, Jodie.’
She was absolutely furious now. How dared he? ‘What’s timing got to do with it? Your timing wasn’t great either, breaking up with me right as we were meant to move to Edinburgh together! You never contacted me again, Cole! You never even told me what had changed between us.’
She reined her emotions back quickly before they could get the better of her. A simmering fury was coursing through her bloodstream as she faced him head on. He had no idea what she’d been through with Ethan either, wearing a ring, walking down the aisle for the whispering media just to appease his father and keep the public in high regard of all his damned political aspirations.
Mustang shuffled a few steps further away, as if sensing a storm brewing. ‘I’m definitely selling my share,’ she reiterated. ‘I can tell you that already.’
Cole pursed his lips at the floor. ‘I thought you’d say that.’
Jodie bristled. ‘Well, considering our history, can you blame me for not throwing a party?’
He ran a hand across his chin. ‘Jodie, Casper had it written into the will that you can’t sell your half for a year.’
‘What?’ She felt like he’d tasered her.
‘The will stipulates that you have to come back here as often as you can during that year, a minimum of three days each time. We’re to maintain the property and assets together. Then, if after a year, you still want to sell, you’re free to do so.’
She shook her head, totally shocked.
‘It’s what Casper wanted.’
‘Th-this is unreal,’ she stuttered. ‘Why? I mean, why did he want both of us here? This is your home, not mine.’
Cole just shrugged again. ‘It was your home too, once.’
Her phone buzzed on silent mode in her pocket. Grateful for the interruption, she swiped to answer it and walked towards the stable exit. Her heart was beating like a drum.
‘It’s Meg at The Ship Inn,’ chirped the voice down the phone. ‘Our heating’s out, honey. Is there any way you can stay at Everleigh tonight?’
Jodie drew a sharp breath as she heard Cole bolt the gate to Mustang’s stall. What would go wrong next?
‘I don’t know if that’s a good idea,’ she heard herself say. The urge to get as far away from Cole as possible, to process all this new information was imperative if she wasn’t going to spontaneously combust, but the wind was howling outside and the snow was settling thick and heavy. Escape was looking less likely with every passing second.
CHAPTER FIVE
‘HOW MANY ANIMALS do you see a day?’ Emmie asked. She was sitting on his swivel chair in a vivid blue T-shirt. Cole didn’t recognise the picture of the band on the front of it.
‘About twenty, give or take, between the team,’ he told her, lifting the German shepherd’s ears one by one and shining the light around the tufts of fur. The dog wasn’t scratching like he’d been before, and was much calmer.
‘Twenty? That’s probably more than my mum sees at West Bow in a day, and she works all the time. You know she has her own practice? I’m surprised she’s even taking one day off from it. What’s wrong with this dog?’
So many questions, he thought in amusement. ‘Otitis,’ he said.
Emmie raised her eyebrows. ‘Sounds like the name of an indie band.’
‘It’s a pretty common ear infection in dogs, actually.’
Cole hadn’t invited Jodie’s daughter into the surgery but she’d appeared of her own accord an hour ago. She seemed to be interested in learning about the place and what they did at a countryside veterinary practice.
He didn’t mind the company. She seemed like a bright, intelligent kid and it was still strange being here without Casper. He just hoped there wouldn’t be any emergencies. The unprecedented amount of snow still falling was punching as many holes in Everleigh’s schedule as Casper’s sudden absence, and the news about his and Jodie’s shared inheritance had shaken him. He hadn’t known a thing about Casper’s decision till the solicitor had called, and from the look on Jodie’s face last night she hadn’t expected it either.
‘My team usually handles appointments like this,’ he told his curious new assistant. ‘Dacey’s the dermatologist and Vinny’s the small animal practitioner. They’ll be here soon if they can get through the snow.’
‘So, what do you do here?’
‘A mix of things. I do the house calls for livestock mostly. And the animal therapy.’
‘Animal therapy?’ Emmie’s eyes were as round and blue as Jodie’s, he thought again. He wondered if she knew anything about her mother’s former boyfriends, or how uncomfortable Jodie was clearly finding it being back here. Jodie seemed like a great mother, from what he’d seen so far. Last night she’d left him in the stables to find Emmie and tell her they might have to stay a few more days to sort some things out.
When he’d stepped back into the house they’d been chatting by the fire in the kitchen. Emmie had seemed relatively unfazed, whatever her mother had told her, though Jodie had made an effort to stay away from him before the live-in housekeeper, Evie, had shown her to her room.
‘What’s animal therapy?’ Emmie queried now, drumming a pen on the desk. ‘Is that...like, emotional support for animals?’
‘That’s a good way to put it. It’s about being part vet, part detective, part therapist. People come to me with their animal problems, and then I help the animals with their people problems. Pass me that stethoscope, will you?’
The door creaked open. ‘There you are!’ Jodie poked her head in. She visibly tensed in the doorway at the sight of them together. He noticed his bulky black scarf over her arm and couldn’t ignore the way his jaw clenched at her sudden appearance.
She’d looked pretty good in his scarf last night, like old times. She’d looked infuriatingly good in the black lace dress too. In fact, Jodie’s presence on the estate was undoing him quietly. What with laying Casper to rest, and Jodie unearthing so many other things at the same time, he’d been lucky to catch a couple of hours’ sleep before his wake-up call at five a.m. And then there was Blaze’s imminent arrival.
‘Cole was just telling me about how he’s part vet, part detective, part therapist,’ Emmie said. ‘I saw the manège and the stables when we drove in. Do people bring the big animals here, to you?’
‘Depends how big we’re talking,’ he said with a straight face. ‘I haven’t seen an elephant in a while.’
‘An elephant?’
‘We had a lot of those in Sri Lanka.’
‘Emmie, Cole’s trying to work,’ Jodie interjected, one hand still on the door handle. ‘Let’s go.’
‘I don’t mind Emmie being here,’ he told her.
Cole ran the stethoscope over the German shepherd’s chest and ribs in a final check-up before release. When he glanced up, Jodie was watching him as intently as Emmie was. She seemed to remember she was holding his scarf and went about hanging it on a hook on the wall.
It was the wrong place for it now, he thought, appreciating her pert ba
ckside in her jeans. He kept it on the hook by the kitchen door, but he wasn’t going to tell her that. Her being here, staying in the house, was kind of strange, but he liked the way she was retracing old steps, like the spirit of the Jodie who’d been here before.
She looked good with a few more pounds on her—curves and curls had always been his ‘type’. Not that he’d had too many relationships, only Jodie and Diyana in Sri Lanka. He wondered if Jodie would ask him about Sri Lanka.
‘How many horses do you have here?’ Emmie asked.
‘You’re into horses, huh?’
‘She’s mad about horses,’ Jodie answered.
‘My horse Saxon is seven, we keep him on a farm a few miles from home. Mum used to come riding with us more, but she’s usually too busy these days.’
Jodie looked uncomfortable and he detected a small rift for the first time.
He nodded. ‘Well, we have eight here already on the estate, and more space than that beyond the gates. You’re both welcome to ride while you’re here,’ he said. ‘Kids come in and ride them at weekends. We’re on a bit of a hiatus with that now because of our change in circumstances, but seeing as you’re here...’ He glanced at Jodie before continuing and she looked at him gratefully.
‘There’s room for more rescues too, when they start coming in,’ he added. ‘We were working on creating a safe space for mistreated animals.’
Emmie sat up straighter on the chair. ‘Here? You’d have a rescue centre here?’
‘Sure, why not? It’s something your mum and I thought about setting up a long time ago, when we were kids.’
‘Really?’ Emmie looked thrilled.
‘There are a lot of people who own horses who shouldn’t, Emmie,’ he continued. ‘Others have accidents, or they can’t live where they used to. Blaze is just one of them. He’ll be arriving this morning, so you’ll meet him.’
Jodie stepped further into the room. ‘Blaze?’
‘He was found running loose after a fire took out his enclosure.’
‘That’s awful. How hurt was he?’
‘He’s pretty messed up.’
Emmie was looking between them in interest. ‘Hey, Emmie, meet me out by the stables in five,’ Cole said, seeing the discomfort on Jodie’s face. He felt bad for a second. Maybe he shouldn’t have mentioned anything they’d planned together once, in front of the child she’d had with another guy, but it was the truth after all. He’d messed up all hopes of him and Jodie setting up the rescue centre here together when he’d broken things off, but if she was going to be spending more time here for a while, she’d see him going ahead with it, whether she sold her half eventually or not. There was no way he was stopping now. The horses needed him. He’d made too many promises.
‘I have a job for you,’ he told Emmie. ‘So wrap up warm.’
She pulled a face. ‘It’s not mucking out, is it?’
‘No.’
‘Can I ride?’
‘Not now.’ He took the German shepherd’s file and ushered her off the chair. ‘Maybe later,’ he added, dropping into the seat as she sprang from it. ‘We’ll all go out if the snow clears. It’s better at sunset anyway.’
Emmie slipped past Jodie in the doorway and he slid his coffee flask across the desk, peered inside. Empty, dammit.
‘Cole?’ Jodie had shut the door. She stopped in front of the desk and he studied her boots on the floor tiles. The tension swirled up between them like dust from freshly swept hay as he marked the file and gave the dog the all-clear for pick-up.
‘Cole. This rescue centre...’
‘It’s not fully planned out yet,’ he said, putting his pen down. ‘You know how things work around here.’
She bit her lip for a second. ‘Not any more I don’t. You didn’t exactly go out of your way to involve me till now.’
He cleared his throat. He supposed he deserved that. ‘We thought we’d start with Blaze, see how things go. It could be good for the place in the long term. We finalised the agreements just days before Casper...’ He trailed off. Jodie’s face softened suddenly.
‘I understand, Cole.’
‘I couldn’t pull out of this after he died, Jodie.’
‘I told you, I understand.’
He knew she understood his loyalty to Casper, but he could see the inner conflict at work behind her eyes already. Jodie had decided on the spot to sell her half of the property, right as Blaze was about to arrive and the rescue plan they’d devised together long ago was coming somewhat into fruition.
Would she still sell? He entertained the notion of her changing her mind, then stopped himself. She had spelled it out loud and clear last night. She might not be wearing a wedding ring any more but she had a life in Scotland and a practice of her own, and a daughter settled in school. Why would she want anything to do with Everleigh—or him—any more?
‘So, Blaze was running loose?’ She rested a butt cheek on the desk, folded her arms.
‘A kid found him out on the heath a while ago; he’s a skewbald, chestnut and white, but he was almost black from third-and fourth-degree burns. He’s lost about fifteen percent of his body weight and he still won’t eat.’
‘Unbelievable.’
‘Someone knew to call me. The horse had nowhere to go. The owner doesn’t want him back, not in this state, he’s traumatised. We’ve been keeping him up at Honeybrook till his wounds healed enough so he could travel.’
‘A skewbald that was almost black,’ she echoed, glowering at the floor.
‘I promised the kid who found him I’d try my best. I need time. I need him here. I thought the training might be good for me too. Maybe a project like this will help take people’s minds off...’
‘Losing Casper. I know.’
Cole swallowed back the lump in his throat, picking up the pen and tapping it on the desk to fill the silence. He didn’t trust his voice now. Casper’s death was the reason Jodie was back here. He’d barely had time to process what it might mean for him, or her, going forward, but he couldn’t stop thinking about the night Casper had stopped him going to Jodie, after his father had died. Jodie didn’t know; he’d never told her. Only Casper had known.
Twelve years earlier...
Cole took the notebook from his satchel and sat down on the hay bale. Resting it on top of his hardcover copy of Hemingway’s For Whom the Bell Tolls, he got out his pen and tuned his ears to the soft patter of rain on the corrugated iron.
He’d come to the stables for peace, like he always did when his mind got too loud, but pushing back into the warmth of his hood against the bales he struggled with what to say on paper.
He couldn’t call Jodie now, he didn’t trust his mouth not to betray him.
He’d known something was different, though, when he’d first walked into the surgery with the backpack and an overnight train ticket, and a vague idea of how to find her when he got to the student campus. The air had felt thicker even before Casper took one look at him and said, ‘Don’t go to her now. Jodie’s pregnant. She met a Scotsman up there, and it seems pretty serious. She’s going to marry him.’
Jodie was having some guy’s baby at nineteen, just months into vet school? It had to have been a mistake, surely?
But she was marrying him...so maybe she was really in love. He felt bile in his throat at the thought.
Either way, he couldn’t go and knock on her door and ask for a second chance now. That would be too much for him to handle. Seeing Jodie like that, with someone else’s baby inside her... Hell, no. Maybe he should write down everything he would have said in person, and send it in a letter.
April 15th
Jodie,
What can I say? I was going to come to Edinburgh this weekend to try and talk to you. I wanted to show you how much I love you. I never stopped loving you. I was about to get on the train but Casper told m
e not to, because you’re pregnant and engaged. It feels like I just lost you all over again, this time for ever.
My dad’s dead, Jodie. He drowned. They just pulled him out of a river, so he can’t hurt you, or us, any more. When he got out of jail I didn’t want him getting anywhere near you, or Mum. I guess this is a good time to admit he beat the hell out of me for years before he got locked up for tax evasion. I didn’t mean to push you this far away, but I thought I was saving you from the misery of it all.
You saw him drunk that night the police came, and you saw me messed up lots of times, but he did worse things than that. He threatened to hurt the animals, and Mum, and you if I ever told anyone about him.
I told myself when I broke up with you that I was doing the right thing. I thought I was saving you from worrying about me, or getting yourself involved in any of my family’s mess. I knew you would confront him and put yourself in danger for me—you’re just like that and I love you for it. I wanted you to go and do better things with your life than wait around for me, at least for now. But now you’re having a baby!
I wish I’d talked to you about all this before I lost you. Maybe we could have figured something out together. I will always love you and, God, I will miss you, but more than that I want you to be happy.
Yours...
Mustang’s soft muzzle against his shoulder brought him back to the moment.
Yours...
Yours what?
Yours for ever? Yours not any more? Yours truly? He’d told her the truth after all. He wondered if she’d guessed some of what had been going on in his home, seeing as he’d never taken her back there. Or maybe he’d hidden it so well that this news would be a complete shock, but surely she would understand he’d never wanted to darken her light with the details.
Reading over it again, he realised he could have told her more in the letter, like how all the cuts on his neck that time weren’t from crawling under barbed wire, chasing a chicken, like he’d said, but from blocking the glass table after his father had hurled it at him from across the living room.
