by Becky Wicks
And yet you still slept with him!
She tried to squish the delicious flashback of their bodies moving as one, the absence of space and time, or past and future that she’d felt in his arms. She owed him nothing. She’d just been weakened in the moment, seeing all those photos, remembering how she’d loved him once.
But it had felt so incredible. Like nothing else mattered.
Cole was still looking at her, and Ms Tanner cleared her throat, as though sensing the tension. ‘Well, from your personal financial statements I see you’re quite comfortable here, in more ways than one, Mr Crawford. And as for you, Ms Everleigh, I see you fare the same in Scotland. You are of course entitled to review the situation once the conditions stated in the will have been met in a year’s time.’
‘I’m aware of that, thank you,’ Jodie said. ‘As you can imagine, it’s quite a lot of information to take in. I owe it to my ex-husband, Ethan, to discuss this with him. Neither of us would want our daughter or her education to be disrupted. I also have my own practice and staff to consider in Edinburgh, so I can imagine selling my share of Everleigh at the end of the year is probably still quite likely.’
‘I quite understand. Maybe you’ll feel differently in a year.’
Jodie chewed her cheek. Beside her, Cole’s jaw had started to spasm. Ziggy seemed to sense the general air of discomfort and whimpered softly as Jodie shook her head. What was she supposed to do?
Reality was probably taking a fist to Cole’s ego right now and her suspicions were getting the better of her. If he thought one night of sex...even if it was the best sex they’d ever indulged in, as far as she could remember...would somehow secure her decision to keep her half of the estate, he was wrong.
Emmie was her priority now. Even if Jodie had very much enjoyed last night, everything she’d known for the last twelve years was in Edinburgh.
‘Who’s to say someone else wouldn’t do a better job than me?’ she added now, trying to make herself believe it at the same time. ‘Someone with more time and fewer...commitments.’
‘Sounds like you need this time to figure things out between yourselves,’ Ms Tanner said, looking from one to the other.
‘Or to find another suitable partner for Cole,’ Jodie added.
Cole had a face like thunder now but he remained silent and stony. Ms Tanner raised an eyebrow. Jodie swore she saw her smirk.
When the solicitor had wished them both goodbye and good luck, Jodie realised she was quite wound up. They were business partners with a sizeable fortune and even more sizeable responsibilities. Everything about the meeting had hammered that home.
What had she done, giving in to him like that last night? Worse than that, hadn’t she initiated it?
She braced herself to take Cole aside and ensure he knew that last night had been a mistake, and that they should leave things on a platonic note and remember their priority was Everleigh going forward.
He didn’t give her a chance. ‘I have an appointment,’ he told her curtly and strode in the direction of the stables without looking back. She watched him go, stunned.
CHAPTER TWELVE
TOBY LOOKED GENUINELY sad as he helped to put Emmie’s bags in the back of their car. Emmie looked torn as she hugged one of the puppies to her for the last time. ‘I can’t believe you’re leaving before the next puppies arrive. And we’ve got that girl coming to see Lucy-Fur later.’
‘I have to get back to school, and Saxon.’
‘But you’ll be back soon, right?’
Emmie shrugged. Jodie offered a weak nod in their direction and pulled her sunglasses down over her eyes. She felt nauseous from drinking too much coffee on an empty stomach and totally drained of energy. She’d watched them bond and now she was pulling them apart, like her father had done to her and Cole.
She pulled out her phone, distracted. Where was Cole now?
He hadn’t returned from his appointment yet and she had no idea where he’d gone. One of the staff said he’d saddled up Pirate and gone out, even though he shouldn’t have been riding after injuring his shoulder.
A laugh from the manège pulled her eyes away. Emmie and Toby were heading for the paddock, where Blaze was grazing on a fresh load of hay. Her heart lurched. ‘Emmie, don’t get too close,’ she called.
She hadn’t told her what had happened by the river. Yes, Blaze had shown a gentler side of himself to Cole, but he was still unpredictable. She crossed the grass towards them quickly, but Emmie was already standing on the fence, reaching a hand out.
‘Emmie, be careful!’ she warned, but she soon stopped in her tracks. Blaze had ambled over and gently rested his muzzle in her daughter’s outstretched palm.
Emmie giggled. Jodie half expected to see Cole coming out of the stables. Maybe he was close by, making Blaze feel safe. But he was nowhere around. Her annoyance at him simmered.
He’d said in the meeting that he didn’t want anyone but her taking over at Everleigh, but when she’d refused to commit beyond the year he’d gone AWOL. She didn’t want to think he’d slept with her out of any ulterior motive, but he was acting like it now.
‘Jodie!’ Evie was crossing the garden towards her in her apron, holding two brown sandwich bags. ‘For your supper.’ The housekeeper beamed, plopping kisses to both cheeks and squeezing her shoulders warmly. ‘I really hope you’ll be back with us soon. It’s been lovely having you and Emmie here.’
‘Thank you so much, Evie.’ Jodie hugged her warm, stocky frame, surprised to find tears in her eyes again behind her sunglasses. She wasn’t prepared for this muddle of emotions.
‘Where’s Cole?’
‘I don’t know.’
Evie frowned, peering into the car as though she might find him hiding in the back seat. Jodie knew her face must have given her away as she sighed and placed the sandwich bags on the passenger seat.
‘You know what he’s like,’ Evie said, lowering her voice as Emmie came running over to the car. ‘He’s always been better with animals than people. Keeps a lot inside, that one. But I know he thinks the world of you.’
* * *
The wind whipped Pirate’s mane into the air like flames as the animal’s muscles rippled under powerful legs, propelling Cole back towards the village from the cliffs.
He’d been trying to gallop away from the sense of self-loathing that had consumed him in the meeting and sent him into his usual fight or flight mode. Every time Jodie mentioned Ethan, he was reminded of how, divorced or not, their unconventional little family unit was her life. Everleigh wasn’t. He wasn’t.
He didn’t deserve her as anything more than a business partner. He had no right expecting anything else to develop between them. But, then, he hadn’t exactly been expecting to spend the whole night having sex with her on his living-room floor, making up for lost time. He sucked in the sky as he flew through the air, recalling her moans of pleasure as she’d put herself heart and soul into his hands. It had been impossible to deny himself, even though he’d known there would be consequences afterwards. She’d wanted it to happen...she’d started it, even...but he should have been stronger.
‘Faster, Pirate, boy!’ he yelled.
The feel of her after all this time...he couldn’t stop reliving it. No one else had ever come close to fitting him like that. But Emmie was her life now. Edinburgh was her life.
It was clear that Jodie was intent on selling after the year was up, no matter what she felt, or didn’t feel, for him. He’d hurt her too much in the past, pushed her too far away. To him, last night had felt like a reconnection, but maybe she’d seen it as closure.
For Emmie’s sake, he had to make sure they both knew they could come back here any time without any underlying awkwardness.
* * *
‘Mum!’ Emmie’s voice in the back seat brought her out of her gloomy thoughts.
‘What�
��s wrong?’
‘Mum, is that Cole?’
Jodie slowed the car. They were right outside The Ship Inn. His horse appeared in her rear-view mirror, sending the gravel flying as her heart kicked into overdrive. Cole was galloping towards them under the clear sky, startling the cows with his speed.
Jodie held her breath. She flung the car door open, right as Cole dismounted in one jump.
‘I’m sorry I got held up,’ he said as his boots hit the ground. He clasped the reins in one hand and raked a hand through his windswept hair with the other.
‘Were you trying to avoid me?’ she asked bluntly, folding her arms. The breeze sent her hair flying out, tickling her face, and it reminded her of when they’d stood here on the day of the funeral, facing each other. A lot had happened since then. What might happen in a year?
He grunted and tipped his hat. ‘I’m not great at goodbyes.’
‘I already know that, Cole.’
Cole’s very presence was making her heart race but she hoped her face didn’t show it. She wanted to tell him last night had been a mistake, because it had been...they had to work together from now on. She couldn’t put Emmie through any more drama, and she refused to put herself through any more emotional stress at the hands of this man.
His hands. She looked at them now, remembering the feel of his fingers in places they hadn’t been for a long time.
She studied the mouth that had spent all night exploring her and felt the shakiness return to her knees. The remnants of last night’s actions lingered between them, bringing Cole to a stop almost at the tip of her now-scuffed boots, making him shove his hands into his pockets.
‘Did you chase us all this way so you could tell me something?’ she managed.
Pirate snorted softly through pink nostrils. Cole lowered his voice, and threw her into his shadow as he stood over her. She swallowed.
‘I wanted to tell you I’m sorry about last night,’ he said, glancing at the car to make sure Emmie couldn’t hear. ‘It went too far, Jodie. I know you have a lot on your mind, a lot going on, and this has all been a shock for both of us. We got...carried away.’
Jodie felt the impact to her heart like a horse had rushed up and kicked her. She hadn’t been expecting that. He continued. ‘If you’re going to be spending more time here, as equal partners, we should probably keep things professional. Don’t you think? I know Emmie has been through a lot with your divorce already...’
She bit her lip, but he was only saying what she’d planned to say herself. She took a deep breath. ‘I one hundred percent agree with you.’
Cole looked taken aback. ‘You do?’
She swallowed, maintained her cool. ‘We were just two people giving in to their...biological urges. You’re not to blame, I’m not to blame. We’re two very different people now, Cole, with very different lives. From this point on we are colleagues, equal partners in creating a sustainable future for Everleigh over the next year, that’s all.’
He nodded, adjusted his hat awkwardly. ‘And we don’t know what will happen after that.’
‘We’ll find a new partner for you,’ she replied. ‘I’ll help you do that.’
He was quiet for a moment, nodding slowly and thoughtfully the way he did when his brain was working overtime and he didn’t know how to express himself. Or didn’t want to. Infuriating.
‘I guess I’ll see you soon, then,’ he said, lingering on the spot.
She kept her arms crossed tightly, resisting the urge to reach for him, or yell at him. She wanted to do both. What was happening to her? ‘I guess you will.’
Cole stepped to the car window and tapped on the glass. Emmie rolled down the window in response.
‘Emmie, look after your mother, she needs you,’ she heard him say.
‘I’m perfectly capable of looking after myself, thank you,’ Jodie snapped, brushing past him and re-inserting herself into the driver’s seat.
‘We should get going, it’s a long drive.’
Three weeks later
‘It looks a lot like your dog has eaten something that she can’t digest,’ Jodie said to the harried-looking woman. Aileen shifted the unhappy Doodle on the table between them. ‘We can see a foreign body on the X-ray here, but at the moment we can’t tell what it is.’
‘You can’t tell what it is?’ The woman looked annoyed.
Jodie frowned at the X-ray again. ‘No idea. But we’ll have to remove it for Ringo’s safety.’
The woman sighed. ‘Please, do whatever you have to do for Ringo. I have to run. Will you let me know once you find out what it is? I can’t think what he could have eaten. We don’t leave things lying around the house... Mind you, I’ve been away a lot lately, and I don’t know if my boyfriend’s been spoiling him.’ She looked thoughtful for a moment, petting the dog’s head.
‘He’ll be fine with us,’ Jodie said, though she knew Aileen and Maxeen would be performing the op. She had to run out to pick up Emmie’s iPad and take it to Ethan’s new place. Apparently she had a video call with Toby at Everleigh and she’d left the essential item at home by mistake. It was imperative she log in on time.
Jodie thought it was sweet how much they’d enjoyed each other’s company on the estate. Emmie talked about it non-stop. On the other hand, she was annoyed that Cole hadn’t so much as picked up a phone, let alone tried to initiate a video call. She supposed it was up to her to let him know when she’d be back, as per their agreement, but his stony silence wasn’t making the prospect any more appealing.
When Jodie returned to West Bow, the operation was still under way. With less than twenty minutes till the next appointment she poured herself a cup of coffee in the little kitchen and resisted the temptation to call Cole.
She was back now. Back at West Bow, where she belonged. She was living her normal life, in her normal routine. She’d needed normality to come to her final decision without Cole clouding up her thoughts. She was going to sell her share of Everleigh, just like she’d told him and the solicitor.
Or was she?
She frowned. She couldn’t quite stick to a decision. Emmie was talking about it like it was some sort of utopia, all the horses, the puppies, the lambs and the marshmallow nights round the firepit...and Toby. Maybe they just needed more ‘normal’, she thought. Just a couple more weeks to forget the way her heart had fogged up her head around Cole, and for Emmie to remember she was a city kid who hadn’t even wanted to go to Dorset in the first place.
Normal is good, she reminded herself yet again, glancing at the ‘normal’ moody dark sky and cobblestones on the narrow, cramped street outside. A far cry from the changeable skies over Dorset and the mud-splattered pathways they’d walked and ridden down, she thought with a slight pang.
A far cry from the feeling of home she didn’t want to feel in Cole’s arms but still did.
‘Everything went to plan,’ Aileen said, bustling into the kitchen. She deposited her gloves in the bin on the way past. ‘But I think Ringo’s humans have another problem on their hands now.’
‘What’s happened? What did the dog eat?’
‘A pair of lacy red knickers.’
‘You’re kidding?’
‘Nope. I showed them to the client and she said they weren’t hers. Then she stormed out, yelling into her phone. It’s not a great way to find out your boyfriend’s cheating, is it?’
Jodie grimaced. ‘The poor woman.’
‘Well...you know what they say about love,’ Aileen sighed.
‘What do they say about love?’
Aileen frowned. ‘You tell me! You’ve been in a different world since you got back from Everleigh. Something to do with your horse whisperer, and inheriting your uncle’s estate?’
Jodie winced. ‘Is it that obvious?’
‘Very.’
‘I’m sorry.’
Aileen put a hand lightly on her friend’s arm. ‘Why are you apologising? A lot has happened to you lately.’
Jodie let out a long sigh. ‘I don’t even know. The inheritance is one thing. I mean, I’ll have to spend a lot more time away from this place.’
‘That’s why you have all of us,’ Aileen said.
Jodie nodded, grateful for her team yet again. She knew that was only half the issue, of course. ‘I feel guilty, I suppose,’ she admitted. ‘And a little bit silly. I didn’t tell you...but I went back to him.’
Aileen grinned. ‘Now we’re getting to it! Like, back to him back to him?’
‘Several times,’ she groaned, putting her head in her hands. ‘In one night.’
‘Wow.’
‘Yes, wow. But then we both agreed it was a mistake.’
‘And why was it a mistake? You’re both single.’
‘Emmie asked me questions in the car...things about me and Cole,’ she said, running her hands anxiously along a stethoscope on the desk. ‘I didn’t really tell her much about our history, Aileen. She doesn’t know I was with Cole before I met her dad.’
‘I don’t see why any of that matters. You were faithful to Ethan when you were married, raising Emmie.’
‘Yes...physically. But not mentally.’
‘Jodie, you’re only human.’ Aileen looked exasperated. ‘Don’t beat yourself up, you’re a great mum. Tell me about this man, please. What kind of romance did you have with this Cole guy? He seems to have quite the hold on you.’
‘A big one.’ Jodie looked defeated. Aileen was always blunt and she was glad of it. It was what she needed. ‘But then he broke me to pieces.’
‘There’s always one that does that.’
‘I know, and you swear you’ll never let them anywhere near you again...’
‘And then your raging hormones take over,’ Aileen said knowingly. ‘The insufferable consequences of human imperfections, huh? Animals don’t suffer this problem.’
‘I don’t even know why I did it.’ Jodie grimaced. ‘I don’t know what happens to me when I’m with him. It’s not normal. I went there for Everleigh, but he is Everleigh.’
