She sighs. We just met and pushing into such heavy territory might be moving too fast.
"Look," I say, "We don't have to talk about the past. Let's just be here right now. You want to go on a drive with me?"
She smiles. "You want to take me on a drive in your car? You're a stranger. You know that, right?”
"Am I though?" I ask. "You know my name."
"Yeah, I know your name," she says, her hands pressed against my chest. "I mean, it doesn't sound like the worst idea in the world," she adds with a smirk.
I laugh, squeezing her ass. Her eyes widen. "Sorry," I say.
"Don't be," she says, “I like it — how forward you are."
"I'm not being forward. I'm being honest. I like you, Kourtney. A lot.”
"You just met me."
"I know — that's what makes it so amazing."
Her cheeks turn pink. She bites her bottom lip again. I kiss her and she sinks against me harder, deeper. Her body presses against mine in a way that tells me she just might go anywhere I take her. I'll only take her places that are good, safe, secure, but that's something she's going to have to learn.
"So, a drive," she says as our lips part, both of us catching our breaths.
"Yeah. Let me take you to my car, baby."
"Baby?” she repeats, a smile on her pink, swollen lips.
"What, too much?"
She laughs. "I don't know. Maybe the margaritas are getting to us."
"I didn't have any margaritas. I had one beer."
"True," she says. "Well then, maybe the margaritas are getting to me."
"You think this isn't real? You think it's the booze talking, making you lose your inhibitions?” I don’t want this to be true. Not for a second.
“Maybe," she says, "but I'm not even tipsy. It's more like I feel exhilarated. Is that weird?"
"No," I say, relief rushing my heart. “That's not weird at all. Because I feel the exact same way.”
"So, where's your car?" she asks.
I grin, pointing to the convertible red Corvette across the street.
Her eyebrows raise. “Fancy."
"I'm a car guy," I say.
"Okay, I can dig it.” She laughs. “You work out, obviously. You're a car guy. What else do I need to know about you?"
"That I'm really book smart," I say with a laugh.
"Touché," she says as I open the door for her to get in.
The top's down and she slides into the leather seat. I close the door behind her and move to the driver's side. I turn on the engine and I look over at her.
"So, what else do I need to know about you?” I ask. “You like your margaritas on the rocks. You know an odd amount of baseball trivia and you picked out a really good dress for tonight."
"It was a date, remember?" she says, smoothing the skirt of her dress.
I grimace. “Right. Do you want to talk about that?" I ask.
She shakes her head, sighing with a smile and resting her head on the back of the seat. Content. "No, I’m way past that. Right now, just drive, Kaden. Just drive."
Kourtney
He pulls up to a lookout point and I turn to him. "I've never been here before," I say.
"No? I think this is where all the kids come in high school, so maybe it's a little weird to be here as two grown ass adults."
"I don't think it's weird. It is beautiful," I say as we look down over the canyon, a broad forest beneath us. The stars are out. "It's beautiful. When I was in high school, I didn't exactly go to lookout spots to make out with guys."
"No?" he says. He looks at me as if I'm crazy. "I don't believe it. You're way too gorgeous to not have been out with lots of guys."
I shake my head. “I don’t think you’re like the guys I knew in high school," I tell him.
My mouth is still feeling the heat of his kiss, the way his tongue slid against my own. My pulse speeds up. The warm night air wrapping around us, the stars overhead — it's magical.
"Well, who cares about high school anyways? I was a dork. I took every AP class I could and read all the required reading for English over the summer."
"That's cute," I say, "and honestly I did too. I was obsessed with my grades."
"I like that. It means you have a good work ethic," he says.
I groan. “Yeah, except now I'm working as a secretary."
"Not your big ambition?" he asks me.
I shrug. He unbuckles and so do I. We move in our seats to face one another more easily. "I don't know. I guess sometimes you imagine your life, what it will be like, and then you have it in front of you and it's not exactly what you pictured."
"Well, at one point you were planning on traveling the world, right?"
"Yeah. I wanted to. I had this idea of going to every bookstore I could in every city I visited and then coming home and opening one of my own."
"I love that,” he says, "a little bookworm opening a bookshop. It's cute."
"Yeah," I say, twisting my lip. “Cute."
“Does it make you sad thinking about your dreams, the ones that haven't come true yet?"
"A little,” I admit.
Kaden takes my hand and kisses the top of it. "Do you have other dreams, Kourtney?"
I sigh, moving closer to him. "I always dreamed of a man sweeping me off my feet,” I admit. He smiles, his hot breath against my ear. He kisses me.
"I'll sweep you off your feet."
"Don't say things you don't mean, Kaden," I whisper. I’ve never had a good thing like this in my life, a man who wanted me, who chose me, who sought me out, who kissed me like he kisses me, who touches me like he touches me. I sigh. I want more. I want so much more. I want everything.
"Are you scared?" he asks.
I shake my head. "No, I'm not scared."
"Then what is it?" he says as I hesitate.
"I've just never done this before," I tell him.
"Never had sex? Because I'm not asking for that."
"I've never had sex, but I’ve also never dated someone who… ”
Kaden finishes my sentence. "Who saw you the way you deserve to be seen?"
I nod, knowing Kaden sees my heart, gets me. It all seems too good to be true. He is everything I could ask for in a man. And more. “Exactly.”
He kisses me and it's passionate and deep, and I want it to go on all night, but there's this little thought in the back of my mind that nothing like this can be real. Who gets this? Who shows up at a bar and gets ditched by one man only to end up with Kaden? That's not how anyone's story is written. Why should it be mine?
I understand that love is real, but for me, with him, a man so fine and chiseled, so ridiculously handsome, I'm not sure I'm the girl who gets that happily ever after.
I know he feels me tensing. "I'm sorry," I say.
"No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring you out here and make you think I was going to get into your pants." He doesn't look bruised. He looks conflicted, like he wants more and doesn't know how to get it.
"I think I should go home," I tell him.
"Really?" he asks softly.
I nod. "I'm sorry, Kaden. You've been nothing but a gentleman, but I’m… I’m not sure I'm the girl you want."
"How do you know what I want?"
I shrug, self-conscious, feeling like the girl I was in high school, carrying a stack of books, glasses perched on my nose, invisible. Does Kaden really want to see me?
But he doesn’t press or prod. He respects me. He starts the engine. “Do you have a car at the bar?” he asks. I shake my head. “No, I took a cab.”
He drives me home and I want to kiss him. I want to pull him inside my father’s house. I want to tiptoe pass my brother's room and drag him to my bed, and I want to strip him down to nothing.
It's what I want. But I've never been that good at asking for what I wanted, so instead I tell him good night and I close the door on that chapter of my life.
Chapter Four
Kaden
Driving away
, I can't help but wonder why things went so wrong so damn fast. One minute we were looking out at the night sky, our bodies moving close, my cock twitching, her heart pounding.
Damn, I know she wanted it.
The way she kissed me wasn't a kiss that said stop, it was a kiss that said, please, please. Yes. It was a kiss that said I want more, and I would've given it to her, but instead she pulled away hard, tight, scared.
And then she asked me to take her home and so I did because I'm a gentleman, but damn, it killed me to drive away. I get to my house and pull my Corvette into the garage. I like my place. It's a custom home built for a family, not that I was trying to jump the gun when I had it designed, but I'm a planner. I like to think about the future. It's why I have a franchise sweeping three states. It's why I have so damn much in general.
I think things through, I make a plan, and I make it happen. But somehow tonight, nothing went as I hoped. But maybe that was the problem. There was no real plan. I walked into a bar and ended up at a table playing trivia with the girl who pulled me into her orbit so damn fast I'm still left hanging, looking for something to hold onto. She’s a shooting star and I want her to land on me.
And then when I kissed her, it sealed the damn deal. But something about the night made her pull away instead of drawing near.
It's hard going to bed when all I want to do is think about her. I need a damn cold shower. That's what I need. I turn one on and I step inside. Trying to cool down, my cock is rigid and hard. I let the water run over me as I think about her, her curves, her kiss, the way she whimpered ever so slightly when her lips met mine.
Damn. That girl did something to me, something crazy, and I run my hand over my cock thinking of her, her lips, her long blonde hair, the curve of her hips, and the way her ass felt in my hand. I touch myself, running my hand up and down my shaft. The shower is supposed to cool me off, but instead it's warming me right up.
Fuck.
God, I want her here with me now, in my bed forever.
Why? Why did she need to go? It kills me thinking about it. My cock though, it's happy as hell, and I move my hand up and down, pumping the veiny rod until I come hard against the shower tile. My balls ache, and I crave Kourtney's soft hands to cup them, hold them tight. I crave her back on my bed, her knees spread, my cock sinking deep into her tight virgin cunt. Damn. She's a virgin. Maybe that's why she left in a hurry.
Maybe everything was moving too damn fast. If she felt what I felt then she knows what I know — that her and me, we go together.
As I dry off, my heart pounds. I try to fall asleep but it's only ten o'clock at night. I pull out my phone and I look at the photo we took, her and me, tacos and margaritas in front of us. I smile to myself thinking about how we won that game, the trophy in our hands.
Knowing I have her number, I send her a text.
Kourtney, it's me, Kaden. Thank you for tonight. I want to see you again. I miss you already. I'm lying here in bed and all I can think about is how you're the girl I want to hold.
I send it along with the photo, knowing my words are bold, but I don't care. I'm laying it out there.
I don’t torture myself by staring at the phone screen, hoping for a checkmark to know she read it. When one doesn’t come, I power off my phone and close my eyes.
Tomorrow I'll make a plan to make her mine. I just hope she texts me back, gives me some clue, some reason to believe that maybe she might see me the way I see her, as my forever.
Kourtney
I toss and turn all night. All I can do is think about Kaden, his body, his hands, his firm chest, his eyes when they looked into mine. I felt safe with him. I did. I wasn't scared to go in his car. I wasn't scared to kiss him again and again. I wasn't even scared to tell him I was a virgin, or that I was a bookworm in high school who didn't have any friends.
I felt comfortable with Kaden, more comfortable than I've ever felt with any other guy. And yet I told him to drive me home. I pushed the brakes when I should have asked him to turn that engine up as high as it could go and take us both somewhere far away.
We were up there on a perfect lookout point, the stars above, the night ours, no one around, just us. It could have been the perfect night, and instead I got spooked.
Why would I think I'd get that kind of happily ever after with a guy I just met? A guy so far out of my league I feel a little queasy thinking about it. But when he looked at me, it did seem like he liked what he saw. That he liked what he touched and felt.
After all, he's the one who kissed me. He's the one who pressed his hands on the small of my back, who brought me to his car. He told me he liked me. A lot.
Kaden didn't hold back, so why did I have to?
After hours of this, of my body aching for him… for more… my alarm clock goes off. I look at my phone and see I missed a text from Kaden.
I read it and my heart starts thumping in my chest. I miss you already.
Oh God. Why did I walk away from him? I have to fix this… but how? How do I reply to a text like that? I already know I’ll be overanalyzing it all day. My alarm buzzes again, reminding me I can’t overthink this right now — I have to get ready for work.
Groaning, I head to the kitchen to make coffee and make sure my brother Billy is up for the day.
"You were out later than normal,” he says.
"Yeah… I had a date."
"A date?" Billy laughs, surprised. “Oh, you’re not joking?” He's a senior in high school and thinks he's got the whole world figured out.
"Don't look at me like that," I say. "It's not like you ever go on dates."
"Yeah," he says, "but I wish I did."
I smile, knowing he's had a crush on the same girl since middle school.
"Well, maybe one day Bailey will come around," I say.
"Maybe," he says with a laugh, "but until then, let's talk about you.”
"How about we don't? You need to get ready, Billy. I have to be in the office early. I skipped out yesterday a little bit early."
"Right, for your date," he says with a tease.
"Whatever," I say. "Do you need a ride home from work tonight?”
"Yeah. My boss got me an extra shift. I told him I was looking for some more hours. He's a really good guy. It seems like he always follows through."
"That's sweet," I say. "All right, sure. I'll pick you up at the car wash at five, then?"
"Yeah, that sounds perfect," he says. "Thanks, sis. I know it's a lot."
"It's okay. One day you'll buy yourself a car. Maybe this job will give you enough money to do it."
He grins, grabbing a gallon of milk and pouring himself a bowl of cereal. "Yeah, Dad said he would buy me one, but I want to do it on my own. He’s done enough for us.”
“That’s thoughtful, and I really don’t mind being your personal Uber,” I say. “Especially since Dad's working a lot. He's always on the road lately.”
"Do you think he ever dates?" Billy asks, lifting a spoonful of Cheerios.
I laugh. "Oh my God, we are so not having this conversation. Talking about your dating life and my dating life is one thing, but our father?”
Billy smirks. "What? He's only like forty-five years old."
"Please. No. Just don't," I say, laughing and leaving the kitchen. I need to get ready for the day myself.
* * *
When I get to work, I'm slightly buoyed by my easy-going morning with my brother. For an eighteen-year-old boy, he sure does seem like he has a good head on his shoulders.
When I get into the office, Josh, my boss, is pouring a cup of coffee and offering me a muffin.
"Jessa make these?" I ask.
"Yeah, of course," he says.
He's recently married and apparently head over heels for his new wife. I mean, who wouldn't be? Jessa is adorable, and a guy like Josh deserves the world. He's an amazing boss and a really great guy, and it seems like he has a really good head on his shoulders too… which makes me think maybe every guy I know
has a good head on his shoulders after all, because it sure seems like Kaden does too.
I know I need to reply to his late-night text. I just don’t know what to say…
"So, did you go on that date?" Josh asks.
"Yeah, I did, but…” I shake my head. "I don't think it's going to work out."
"Why not? Is there something wrong with him?"
"Well, the guy from the dating app was a jerk… but then this other man showed up. And he was … well, to be honest, he seems a little too good to be true."
"What do you mean?" Josh asks, laughing and breaking his muffin in two.
"Well, he's really nice, and patient, and funny. He likes me a lot. He gave me space. He didn't pressure me. He paid for dinner. He likes guacamole, and he's really good at trivia."
"Okay. I'm waiting for the red flag," Josh says with another laugh. "I mean, come on. What are you looking for?"
"I don't know. Ugh.” I groan, dropping my head into my hands, "I'm an idiot. I just got freaked out last night. It was moving fast, and I wondered if it was all too good to be true."
Josh smiles. “Do you have a picture of this guy?"
"Yeah. Look how cute he is," I say, handing him my phone.
I show him the photo of Kaden and me at Trivia Night.
"This is the guy you went out with?" he says, shocked.
"Yeah, I know. Isn't the picture cute?"
"No, that's not what I mean. This is my friend, Kaden. We’re CrossFit buddies."
"What do you mean? You know him?"
"Yeah," Josh laughs. "He's amazing. He has a whole business — he’s like a self-starting millionaire."
My jaw drops. “He's a millionaire?"
Josh laughs. "Yeah. And the best part is he’s really humble."
"Apparently," I say, biting my nail and feeling like a fool. "I totally freaked out last night and had him me drive home."
Josh gives me a smile. "Hey, the thing about Kaden is he's not an asshole. If you're going to look for a second chance with anybody, it's him."
"You think?"
"I know," Kaden says.
You Guac My World Page 2
