by Dukey, Ker
I didn’t want to be talked about, stared at, ridiculed by my peers.
I wanted to be a shadow in the back of the classroom, doing what I needed to do to make up my grades and graduate.
This wasn’t the plan I had dreamed of for myself, but life is an unpredictable bitch.
She tore a hole in the pretty picture of my future, and I was left to rebuild it with tattered pieces.
I was popular for the right reasons once, but then my mom remarried and then got sick.
Her illness was like a plague on my existence.
An infection not just riddling her body, but also poisoning my life in the process.
It was as if someone buried the sunlight and cast me into a forever darkened state.
When I get to my locker my eyes close and re-open, wishing the words blazoned across the small door in lipstick are just an illusion. “WHORE.”
I know they’re courtesy of Reese’s girlfriend, Gemma Rodes.
Four more weeks and then I’m out of here.
College will be different.
I’ll fade away, leave this behind me and become someone new.
Grabbing my books from inside, I slam the door shut and storm from the school, debating over whether to just forgo graduation and give this place the middle finger.
I wish I had money to leave this place for good.
Move to Europe. Paris, the city of love. Be a woman of the world.
“Alice, wait up,” Reese, the asshole, Winters calls out across the parking lot.
Clenching my books, I hitch my backpack farther up my shoulder, picking up my pace.
The pounding of his footfalls sound behind me, and I know I can’t out walk him, so I slow my pace and let him catch up.
The sooner he can say what he has to say, the sooner he can fuck off.
“Whoa, I thought you were going to take off running,” he chuckles, coming to a steady walk beside me.
I hate how desperate I’ve become to get help with college fees.
Anything to get away from the depression of my wilting mother.
“What do you want, Reese?” I groan.
“Listen, I just wanted to say I’m sorry, you know how guys can be. I just told Jimmy, but he has a big mouth.”
“You have a girlfriend, why did you tell anyone?” I snap.
With a smirk and a shrug, he drops to my height and winks.
“What guy could keep that to himself? You’re Alice fucking Young. Every guy in this school has wanted a piece of you since first grade.”
Gross.
The sad thing is he’s lying to try and sweeten me up. The stupid idiot thinks that’s flattering.
Maybe to girls who give a shit about that stuff, but not to me.
He used my vulnerability against me to get something he wanted.
He’s a sick bastard, and I hate him. I hate them all.
“Fuck off, Reese,” I spit.
“Whoa, calm down, Alice. I kept the real secret for you. If people found that out then…”
“Then what? They’d ridicule me and call me a whore?” I argue.
“Look, people just think we hooked up, no big deal. Speaking of…” He taunts, and I wish I had more power.
More support. More options.
“My truck’s over here,” he says when he sees my resolve weaken.
I don’t have options unless I’m willing to forgo college all together, and I’ve sacrificed too much to end up in a dead end job, making scraps.
I follow him to his truck that’s tucked at the back of the parking lot under the shadow of trees.
Before I’ve even fully sat in the seat, he’s unzipping his fly and pushing my head into his lap.
When he finishes in my mouth, I spit the fluids into an old soda cup he has amongst the crap scattered on the floor.
He tastes bitter, and I hate that I’ve let him be inside any part of me.
“Here,” he smiles, smug, tucking his now flaccid, small dick back in his slacks.
Taking the envelope, I tear it open, and my hands freeze when I pull out a check.
“What the hell is this?” I breathe, my stomach tightening and embarrassment washing over my skin.
“Look, I know you wanted my dad to chose you for their scholarship program, but he had already picked someone else. He offered you a donation instead.”
Five hundred dollars? What is that going to pay for?
He just paid me for services rendered.
Sickness swirls inside me.
“You knew this before you made me suck your dick,” I almost vomit.
“Now, now, don’t be like that.”
“Fuck you, Reese,” I push open the door and flee into the chilly evening air.
When I get far enough from his truck, I pull out his cell phone I pocketed while he was distracted.
Gemma Rodes will regret ever fucking with me.
I bring up his chat with her.
Just like I knew there would be, I find the nudes she sent him, and then I hit the jackpot: a video message of her dancing naked in front of the camera.
I click upload to Facebook status, then drop the phone down the nearest drain.
Fuck you both.
Five
Chapter
ERIK
All it takes to find her is putting her email address and our hometown into the secure site, PeopleFinder.
I wait with bated breath as it searches.
The stupid, spinning-loading circle mocks me, keeping her hidden from my grasp for a few minutes.
My heartbeat races, unsteady in my chest, when it finally spits out the results.
Her.
You.
Alice.
It took me all of two minutes to find you.
This is what you wanted, why you left your email.
Such a dangerous game you’re playing.
My blood pulses so hard through my body.
I throb with anticipation as I click on her social media links.
There you are, out there for us all to look at.
An array of images fill my screen, inviting me into her life.
So young, like I suspected, but I didn’t think you would be so fucking beautiful. So fucking perfect.
Her name slips through my lips like it’s supposed to be spoken from them. Alice.
She has sixty-five friends.
Most of them are from her school.
Her date of birth suggests she should have left school a year ago. She’s nineteen.
So young.
I dissect her page, learning everything I can from it.
It shows me that you’re a completely different person now compared to who you used to be.
That smile is vacant, those eyes tormented.
Her profile tells a story.
She wasn’t always this meek, broken girl.
She was once happy, popular, and hopeful.
But something changed two years ago.
What changed, my sweet Alice?
I go back to the PeopleFinder results and see an address.
A local search tells me it’s owned by a Karen Young.
Your mother?
I take a photo of the address and save the recent photo of her.
You’re in a pair of barely there jean shorts and a white vest top that shows your erect nipples through the fabric.
You’re leaning against a motorcycle and biting your lower lip.
Dark hair sits around your shoulders and flirts with your waist.
Do you know how tempting you are?
* * *
I stare up at the small, two-story property. An old Chevy is stationed in the driveway.
The lights are on inside, and I can make out a TV flicking through the drapes of the living room.
Are you in there?
I bring up the image I saved of her on my phone and study it.
My finger stroking down her pretty, divine face. Flawlessness.
Pale skin, dark hair, dark eyes, peti
te nose and thick lips.
An angel with broken wings.
I can see the pain in her eyes, seeking rescue from her life.
My cock throbs from the confines of my slacks, demanding attention just thinking about it.
Sweet, fucking Alice. I need to know you, and you want me to know you, otherwise why be so available for me to find?
Unzipping my slacks, I pull my cock free, and spit on my palm and take it in my tight fist, squeezing the tip punishingly before loosening the hold and stroking down the shaft.
I imagine tears in your brown, doe-like eyes, your breath quickening, that fat bottom lip quivering as your heart splutters in your chest when you realize I’m coming for you.
Boo, little Alice.
Six
Chapter
ALICE
Pushing the oatmeal around the bowl, I give up trying to feed the corpse with a pulse that slightly resembles what was once my mother and wipe her chin.
She’s wasting away here and needs to be in a proper care facility, but that shit costs money and ours is gone, spent on medical bills.
I put the radio on to keep her company and leave her room.
Fred, her waste of time husband, sits stationed in his armchair.
The only time the asshole leaves it is to get another beer from the fridge.
He tries to convince us he can’t work because he’s my mother’s caregiver, but he can barely stand to look at her these days let alone do any caretaking.
Shedding my clothes once I’m upstairs in my own room, I grab a towel and go to the bathroom.
This entire house needs a cleaning, mold clinging to the tiles in here making me shudder every time I have to use it.
Turning the taps on as hot as they will go, I step under it’s punishing scald and scrub at my skin until it’s red and screaming for relief.
Soaping up my hair, I rinse and step out.
Wrapping the towel around my small frame, I ignore the grumbling from my stomach.
I haven’t eaten yet today, and I’m feeling weak because of it.
Fred doesn’t cook or buy any groceries, his mother always sends pot roast and the fat fuck scarfs it all down before me or his own son, my stepbrother Asher ever get any.
Going to the window, I stare out to see if Asher is back yet.
He always brings food, but his motorcycle isn’t anywhere to be seen, so it looks like I’m going hungry.
A sensation trickles over my skin as I peer out into the street. It’s unnerving, but I can’t put my finger on what it is.
A shiver snakes up my thighs, pooling in my lower stomach.
I check my bedroom door to make sure Fred hasn’t ventured up the stairs, but it’s closed, so I turn back to the window, scanning the tree line and road beyond our yard.
A parked car sits further up the road.
The lights are on and a silhouette is in the driver’s seat, but there’s no house that far up.
Maybe they pulled over to take a call.
A chilly hand whispers up my spine as I snap the drapes closed.
Pulling on some sleep clothes, I grab a book and get under the covers.
There’s no heat in the house again, and I can practically see my breath with each exhale.
Just as my eyes begin to droop, the bedroom door opens and Asher fills the space.
His jeans are covered in oil from him helping out at the car garage.
My eyes zone in on the paper bag he’s holding, the smell of grease and burger sauce reminding me of my hunger.
I sit up and hold my hands out, needy.
Chuckling, he tosses the bag at me and walks over to my desk, pulling out the chair and taking a seat.
“Did you want something?” I ask with a raised brow as I burrow into the bag and pull out a hamburger.
“What are you offering?” he winks, and I’m not immune to his good looks.
Asher isn’t hurting for female company.
Huge green eyes and a smirk that could melt the panties from a catholic schoolteacher.
But my goodies aren’t available for the price of a burger and fries, and he knows it.
“You look cold, you want me to get in and warm you up?” he asks, dropping his gaze to my nipples tenting the fabric of the shirt I sleep in.
“You know the price of admission,” I smile tightly, taking a bite of the juicy goodness.
Shaking his head he gets to his feet and waltzes towards the door.
“You’re a sick puppy, you know that, right?” he throws over his shoulder.
“Did you get me a drink?” I call after him as he closes the door on his exit.
“Water in the taps, and you’re welcome,” he shouts back.
“Thanks,” I mumble back through the food in my mouth.
Cheapskate.
Seven
Chapter
ERIK
Waking to the sound of birds chirping in the trees boarding the road across from Alice’s property, I scrub a hand down my face and groan from my body protesting to me sleeping in an upright position all night.
I shouldn’t have stayed, but I was so fucking desperate for a glimpse of her again.
Seeing her through the window pane wrapped in nothing but a towel was a torture all its own.
Why do you put yourself on display like that?
For me to see you, that’s why.
Starting the car, I eye the dash clock that reads seven am.
She will be leaving for school soon.
Moving the car down the street, I exit and walk to the closest tree, hiding my form behind it while I wait for her.
She doesn’t keep me waiting long.
You shouldn’t walk alone in such a dangerous world, Alice.
Energy zaps through my body being so close to her. My footfalls mimic hers, and I ache to move closer, reach out and stroke her hair.
She’s wearing baggy jeans that hide her true figure from my eyes.
No coat, instead wearing an oversized sweater.
Hair loose, swaying wild and free, skimming just above her ass.
Mist creeps across the grass like spirits visiting to warn her of my presence as we come to a park.
She needs a car.
Her head is bowed down low, her hands shoved into the pockets of her sweater.
Her strides are unhurried.
Not a care in the world or acknowledgment of the dangers around her.
I easily track her footsteps with my own, waiting for her to realize I’m there, behind her, watching, following.
Teasing my restraint.
I slip behind a tree when her head lifts, her movements slow.
The beat of my own heart thuds with adrenaline when I hear her succulent voice call out, “Hello?”
She knows.
One second…two…three.
Her footsteps pick up pace, and it exhilarates me.
I begin to trace her movements once more, bringing my hood further down my face to keep me shrouded.
Steam pours from my lips as I quicken my steps and she hears them.
Imagining the pounding of her heartbeat and fear soaking into her pores, threatening her existence, makes me exceptionally hard.
She moves with haste now, her hands no longer in her pocket, instead fisted at her sides.
I sense her movements as she suddenly turns abruptly, stealing my breath.
Panic is evident in her huge eyes and parted mouth.
What I wouldn’t give to grasp her face and take those lips into a punishing kiss.
In time, my little bird.
Instead I slip across the road moving past her without making eye contact.
As if I was never following her in the first place, just going in the same direction.
Paranoia, Alice. Nothing more.
I sense her eyes on my back as she watches me pass.
I can almost taste her breath coming out so fast, fear chasing the air from her lungs.
Perfect.
You’re fucking perfect.
Eight
Chapter
ALICE
Yearbook photos drive me crazy.
Everyone being fake, with fake messages wishing people they’ve treated like trash for the entire school career a, “good life”.
Fuck you very much asshole.
I hope you contract genital warts.
The halls are abuzz with chatter and gossip, and for once I’m not the source of it.
“Alice,” a girl from my lit class calls out, coming over to me with her phone in hand.
“Did you see what Reese Winters posted on Facebook? They’re saying he may not get to graduate over this.”
Scoffing, I pretend to look at her phone which shows the video of Gemma dancing naked.
How the hell is this still up? I thought it would be taken down almost straight away.
Just goes to show what a bunch of fucking bitches these girls are that go here.
Who goes around showing other people this shit?
Everyone, that’s who. They make me sick.
I’m about to open my mouth and say something but my eyes stray to the account name, and I see it’s not Reese’s account she’s showing me from.
Someone else has downloaded the content and shared it on their status.
“It’s viral!” The gossipy bitch laughs then catches herself, holding a hand over her mouth.
“I doubt Reese’s dad will let the school stop him from graduating,” I roll my eyes, unlocking my locker and pulling my books out.
“Reese is saying someone stole his phone,” she winks then waltzes away when the bell shrills through the corridor.
The humming of people whispering in class causes the teacher to bang a ruler on her table.
“Look, I know everyone is having a good time with this awful video circulating, but be warned. The police are involved, and if anyone is caught sharing this or watching the video there will be fierce consequences. This is a girl’s life. Your peer. Show some empathy, and try to move on from this.”
