I rushed through my hair wash, and only half-washed out the conditioner before I checked again.
When I ripped open the curtain and squinted at the screen, the player dropped the prize in the claw. Amateur move. They must have lost focus.
I rinsed the rest of the conditioner out and dried quickly, wrapping my hair in a towel. After grabbing the phone, I trotted to the kitchen to pop some popcorn.
I could feel myself getting ready to play my game for a while tonight.
When it was finally my turn, it only took me five times to get a pug. And usually—after my victory dance—I would call it a night, but I waited to see if there were any new products to be displayed.
An alert popped up that I needed to update my app. I hated taking the time to do it, but it said it was necessary. After I installed the update, I noticed a new feature. Messaging was now enabled.
Couldn’t even begin to think of why I would ever use that when my first message popped up.
Congrats on your pug win! You really play this game very well.
I gave my phone a hard look before responding.
Thanks. Who the hell is this?
There were little dots bumping up and down that made me assume there was more typing on the other end.
Sorry. I work for this company. I’m in charge of product quality and shipments. I just happened to be boxing up your prize when I saw you were online. Congrats again, and have a good night.
I kind of wanted to tell him it was creepy having my app talk to me, but I didn’t want to cut off my supply to this habit I had.
Thanks. Night.
I tucked my phone under my pillow as I got into bed. Tomorrow would be more Mom time. We had a mountain to climb together.
~Fenix~
I’d full out used my powers for evil tonight. Making her install the update so I could send her a message was the exact opposite of being man enough to talk to her.
It was sneaky. The whole thing was sneaky. This was the first time she’d taken the phone into the shower while I was watching her from the other side. And I didn’t look. Except that one second that she shocked me. I felt guilty. This was not what she needed. If I found out a dude was doing this to her, I would kill him.
It was a fix I got off her. To communicate with her. I had her on such a pedestal. It felt like talking to a rock star that was half-goddess. Too big. No regular girl could be what I made her out to be.
The depression was enveloping me again. It happened. A lot of time when I was stressed, it would start. I would relive every kill I caused in my head. Starting with Mom, of course. I should have stopped my father. I felt my eyelids droop. I set up the video of the claw machine playing and an alert to ping on my phone if Becca tried to play.
My bedroom was upstairs, but I had a small bed down here too, just in case she needed me. And tonight, I felt like she might. There was just a haunted look in her eyes.
My sleep was a tortured one. My father was in all my fucked-up dreams. I woke gasping for breath. Like he was choking me. All over again.
I sat up in bed. Goddamn fucker. I checked on my half-sister Ember. I had wireless cameras installed all over my aunt’s property. Everything looked good and was on lockdown.
I checked on Christina, whose property had the same treatment as Ember’s.
All my girls were good.
They were safe. For now.
I went to my computer and started up the process of checking the messages on the dark web that kept me in money. And in vengeance.
I had a few messages I wouldn’t touch. I had an internal filter for the bullshit that came to me.
But what did stand out was a message from Christina’s grandfather. Being that I just checked on the girl, alarm bells went off in my head.
I clicked on it.
Partnes 2d Mustang 12am Thurs.
It was a coded message for a meet-up. Another proposal. Another job. I didn’t like it. It was suspicious to me that this man, who so recently had his granddaughter returned to her parents, would be in my inbox.
The payment had gone through. The money was currently offshore getting nice and clean before I ever touched it.
This grandfather should be grateful and quiet. That would be appropriate. I looked at the message for a while. My gut was to turn it down. There were flags all over it.
If I weren’t watching Christina, I wouldn’t have responded.
In.
That was how they knew I’d be at the right place at the right time. I needed to see what was up. This man was related to Christina and I didn’t trust his intentions.
After I pulled up his encrypted folder, I took a harder look at Bat Feybi.
The man was in his late sixties, which meant he was probably the meanest motherfucker alive—aside from my father, of course.
Feybi was involved in a lot of sketchy shit. Legally, he was in scrap metals and recycling. Illegally, his name was attached to all the drugs and sex traffic in his territory that had only expanded since he took over the business from his father years ago.
Christina’s father was his son, Rick Feybi. I’d been leery of taking her case because Feybi’s men should have been able to handle it. But he’d found me. His excuse was that his guys were too recognizable and he needed discretion to save Christina because her surgeries were a problem. He didn’t want a riot—he wanted an extraction.
And the picture sealed the deal. Her innocence. And my need to save. There was baggage there—of course.
This contact made me wonder. He had no need to contact me. Another job—maybe. Usually my clients were satisfied and wanted to somehow get me on their payroll. But something wasn’t sitting right with me.
I’d find out soon enough, but running through all the scenarios kept me from falling asleep.
9
A STALKER’S ANALYSIS
Fenix
I’d delivered four more prizes to Becca in the last week. She was on a roll. Every dollar she gave me was set up in an interest gaining account in her name. But this week I forwarded her a few extra free plays.
She was stressed and the game kept her even. At least, that was my observation of the situation. A stalker’s analysis.
Animal had to visit some old girlfriends while he was in town, but I’d filled him in on the grandfather’s request. He agreed to my assessment that it was suspicious. Which is slightly hilarious because I was a murderer that worked in the shadows, and I was diagnosing others.
But be that as it may—I was ready for a war to start. If I wasn’t watching Becca play the game, I was researching. Going to the meeting tonight without a complete picture would be deadly.
I looked into the crime circle that had taken Christina. Their territory was smaller and butted up against Feybi’s going back decades. A feud would be understandable.
Digging deeper, I found a few guys that once were on Feybi’s payroll that used to work for the Kaleotos as well. It was a long time ago, but it was something.
Christina’s father, Rick, seemed as clean-cut as he could be. The mother, Katie Feybi, as well. My judgment that they needed help was right, and that made me feel better about my choice to save the little girl wasn’t purely to satisfy my fix to save.
Animal announced himself in the foyer and I snapped off my computer and took my phone upstairs.
I was wearing only jogging pants and socks, but I had no need to cover for him. Hell, he’d been with me for a lot of the ink appointments as I transformed into what I was now.
We did our grabby manshake that turned into back pounding.
“How’d that go?” I tilted my head toward the closed door. The outside. The world he was just in.
His face lit up with his white smile and a devious sparkle in his eyes. “They missed me.”
“I missed you too. But I’m not going to suck your dick about it.” I fake punched him.
He rubbed his hands up and down his huge arms. “That’d make you in the minority, sweetness.”
&
nbsp; We shared a laugh. I knew the women went crazy for everything he offered. He was like a dark skinned Viking. Massive, handsome, and charming.
After pointing my thumb to the kitchen, we both headed into the room. This was the hard part. Knowing that I couldn’t go out and get girls like he did. Revisit old flames and start some serious heat.
I had women. I wasn’t a monk. But the chicks that were into me were acting on a deeper desire. And a lot of them were straight crazy. They never wanted me to be a boyfriend. I never arrived at a date without rope and a few sex toys. Nobody wanted to be wined and dined by a skeleton.
I pulled out some cold cuts. “Want a sandwich?”
He gave me a look that clearly said yes.
I washed my hands and set to making us both food while he made drinks.
After we ate in an easy silence, Animal brought up our next outing.
“So, you going in and I’m getting the perimeter?”
I narrowed my eyes and shook my head. “I think I’ll pay a hooker to pass a note to him. I think we both stay in the perimeter.”
“That’s a new one. You not feeling this one at all, huh?” Animal took a long drink.
“Something’s off. I’m not taking any more jobs from this asshole. But I need to see what Christina’s dealing with as she gets older.” I wiped my mouth with my paper napkin.
“I can call in an army, you know.” Animal put his phone on the tabletop and tapped it.
“Yeah. We’re not there yet. And you know how I am.” I shrugged.
“A loner. I know. I remember.” Animal brought his drink to mine and tapped it.
I bit my smile. Only this giant guy could make me smile thinking of going to the home for emotionally disturbed kids.
Nuns ran it back in the day. I looked down. They would probably be sorely disappointed by how many gravestones were a direct result of these hands.
Now, a company that bought out the home ran it. At least it was the last time I checked. I had an accountant donate money to the home every year. Tax write-off and all that. But then, there was a feeling of coming home. Sure, it was institutionalized and we were all as crazy as fuck, but there was an underlying drive to help that permeated.
The night I arrived, my father and I had had our last showdown. I was as tall as he was. And I thought I was as tough. Sister Mary answered the door when the police drove me up.
“Sister Mary, you got room for one more? Just for tonight. We’ll get the paperwork started in just a few. Kid needs a quiet place.” The policemen had not cuffed me that time. They’d stayed with me in the hospital as I was stitched up and bandaged. They were supposed to take me back home. It was a domestic dispute. My father had custody of me. At thirteen, I had at least a few years left on my sentence with him.
I learned later from experience that Sister Mary was a guru. She was spiritual and practical and determined as fuck. Her kind blue eyes assessed me in a way I hadn’t been looked at in so long.
She looked at me with love. Like she recognized me, even though we’d never met.
“Fenix Churchkey.” I was coerced over the threshold of the residence gently by the back of my neck.
I grabbed my broken wrist as it throbbed. My clothes were covered with blood. Most of it was my own.
Sister Mary had a winter coat on, and a nightgown and slippers peeked out at the bottom.
“Of course, officers. Please come in. Do you need some tea? Coffee? It’s good to see you, John.”
The cops took their hats off. They stepped inside but declined her offer.
Tuffs, the large dude, asked to speak in private with Sister Mary. The smaller one, Merck, stayed with me
He pointed to the scuffed-up table just past the entryway. There had to be twenty-five chairs around it.
I heard the mumbles beyond just hints at the words. Of me being discussed.
“Father.” “Anger.” “Dead.”
I started counting cars again so I didn’t have to listen. Old habit. The cars were long gone, but the counting never stopped.
Merck cleared his throat. I put my chip back on my shoulder and gave him the hardened look I’d practiced.
“You want to go home to your father?”
I took it as a threat. I took it as a prophecy. “I don’t care.”
Never show that you care. Never let them see you flinch.
Merck ran his hand over the table, his fingers pausing at the giant divots. People had beaten the piss out of this table over the years. Some scars were new, some old.
“I went here. To this place. God, I was such a little shit.” He knocked softly on the wood.
Looking him over again, I tried to place the part of him that would require him to live here.
“My mom went to jail for drugs. I didn’t take it well.” He obviously saw me sizing him up. “Yeah. You don’t have to be an asshole forever. Some people are. Like your dad.”
I felt anger rise up in me again. I didn’t know what this man intended and had no idea where it was going.
“Not trying to disrespect you—just being honest. I don’t like your father. I never will. But here’s the thing—and stop me if I’m wrong. I don’t think you like him either.” Merck lifted his eyebrows.
“I hate him.” I barely moved my mouth. I wasn’t going to cry about it, but my eyes and nose burned.
“I thought you might. And it’s more than a teenage I hate everyone thing, right?” He waited for my answer while I weighed it.
I hadn’t been sure what to say. What the mind game was. Tuffs was still talking with the nun. Was this good cop, bad cop?
My father kept me quiet with a threat. His fists would never earn my loyalty. But he threatened Ember. And she was just a kid.
“I can’t leave,” I offered.
Merck looked me up and down. “Figured as much. He’s got something on you. Because a kid like you? You would’ve run a while ago.”
How much did this cop know?
And then he dropped the hammer. “I knew your mom. She was a nice lady.”
I had to rearrange my face back to the mask of disinterest after that surprise.
“You know where she is? Her family’s been questioning your father’s story that she left town for years.”
I knew exactly where she was. A chill ran through me. All the threats my father had imposed on me seemed intended for this exact moment. He was prepping me for concerned adults in power positions. None of them would be able to help Ember.
The conversation between Tuffs and Sister Mary seemed to be winding down. They were asking after each other’s families.
Merck looked over his shoulder and then leaned toward me. “I can make him leave town. Your father. You say the word and I’ll get him out of here.”
I knew my eyes were wide as saucers. But then my skepticism seeped in. Nothing ever kept me safe. At least Ember hadn’t even known my father. When I rode my bike past her house, I’d sometimes get glimpses of her through the windows. She was cute and seemed happy. No raised voices. No raised hands. She was lucky, as far as I could tell.
“I have a sister.” Dad was going to kill me. I sealed my lips shut.
Footsteps were coming down the hall. I felt my heart pounding. Was this cop good? More importantly, was he mean enough to face off with my father?
“Ember. I know. Like I said, I knew your mom. Trust me, kid. I don’t always play by the rules. If you want to stay here, just nod. I’ll make it happen. And I’ll make sure your father never comes back to this town as long as I live.” His eyes showed determination. He had a gun. He had a badge.
“You promise?” Was I really doing this? Was it really happening? Could my life with my father end tonight?
“From one little shit to another, it would be my pleasure.” Merck held out a fist. I took the one I had that wasn’t broken. I tapped his.
“Please.” That was the extent of me begging for my life. And Ember’s.
Merck stood. “Say no more. I’ll keep you
posted. Just be good to Sister Mary.”
Sister Mary rounded the corner with a fresh nightgown and a toothbrush. “I’ve got it, officers. Thank you so much.”
She ushered them out the door and thanked them like they’d returned me home.
“Fenix, you want to get out of those? I don’t want to wake the boys, so would it be okay if you wear this? It’ll be a little short, but it’s clean.”
Be good to Sister Mary.
I was reluctant, but stood and held out my good arm. She draped the soft fabric near my elbow.
“I’ve got extra slippers upstairs. The officers told me you have to stay awake tonight because you have a head injury?” She tilted her head.
I nodded and felt a fresh wave of a headache. My father had slammed my head against the wall a bunch this time.
“Okay, I’ll get you some tea. That’ll help a little, and the officers gave me your pain relievers. We’ll make a schedule for that.”
She shuffled past me and trusted me to get changed. To not go through her purse that was sitting on the kitchen counter. To not pick up a kitchen knife and harm her.
I was humbled by it and sat down at the table in a lady’s nightgown.
When she returned with the slippers, she had a plan for our evening. We were going to papier-mâché a giant elephant head that was going to be used in the school play of Aladdin. She was grateful for my help, so she said.
I had one hand that I could use, and I did a poor job of unfolding the newspaper that we would rip into strips.
She made me tea and teased me gently about my ripping skills.
After I sat, she took over. I tried three times to sip my tea. My hand kept shaking. I was spilling it.
I set it down next to its saucer. “I don’t even know how to drink this.”
I felt like a wild animal being asked to perform on a unicycle. My every day was trying to keep my distance from my father and my own human body alive. Tea and papier-mâché in a nightgown that smelled like fabric softener were about to break me.
Sister Mary set her paper down and sat in the chair across from mine. “You’ve had a hard night. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make light of it.”
Mercy Page 5
