“You need to introduce me to your artist friend. I can’t keep makeup on my knees and yours is staying in place through all our adventures tonight.”
I opened the back door, noting that it should probably be locked, but wasn’t.
I watched her as we entered the back hall. Her eyes skittered to the ladies’ restroom and then to the floor.
“You want me to check that out? Do you need to use it? I’ll wait outside, if you want.”
Relief washed over her. “Would you? You’re the best. Just for tonight. I’ll be better tomorrow.”
I knocked on the door while watching her. When there was no answer, I opened the door slowly while announcing myself. I switched on the light and gave a good hard look. Empty. I also did a quick visual sweep to make sure there was nothing out of order. It was good. I waved her in.
When she stepped past me, I saw that her shoulders had relaxed. I waited in front of the door with my arms crossed, glaring at the empty hall.
After a flush and a hand wash, she opened the door. “Sorry about that.”
I stepped to the side and let her walk in front of me. “It’s cool. Happy to help.”
Before we got to the crowded bar, she whirled on me, putting her hand almost on my chest to stop me. “I better give you your jacket back. It’s too nice for me to wear to work. I wouldn’t want any drinks to spill on it.”
I loved the sight of her in my jacket. I wanted her in my clothes. I wanted her inked with my name. Perfectly natural response to a woman I only officially met about a half hour ago.
She shrugged out of it and handed it to me. “Seriously. Thank you so much. You’ve been the best fake boyfriend a girl could hope for.”
I held my breath as she went to her tiptoes and planted a kiss on my tattooed cheek.
She turned and headed toward the bar. Her wings even more rumpled. I ran my hand down my face. I cupped my throat and felt my pulse hammering like crazy. When I opened my eyes, I locked them with Animal’s who was full out laughing at me. I shot him double middle fingers. I was a goddamn goner.
14
HOT AS SIN
Becca
When I interrupted Henry, despite her urging me to go home, she was ready for my return. There was a lineup of drinks looking for thirsty mouths. I filled my tray up twice and danced around the bar to deliver them all.
The busboys had cleaned up the destroyed table the fighters had wrecked. I kept finding Nix and smiling at him. I watched Henry pass him his driver’s license back with a little hug.
He was making me feel safe. I was sure he was a typical guy pretending to be nice to me in hopes of a quick lay. But it was the mental camouflage I needed to get through this shift.
I was super busy. I did my best to keep my attitude upbeat, but I was tired. Dread built in the back of my mind as I thought about going home tonight. To the dark.
Tonight would be good for tips, though. We were rounding closing, and we had to flip the lights twice to get people to start moving on out. I was wiping down tables when I looked to where Nix had been camping out for the evening.
He was gone. The table was empty with a glass holding down my tip money.
I went over and sighed. I had hung my own piece of mind on this stranger’s presence.
“Hey, baby. He wanted me to tell you goodnight. He had a thing he had to do.”
I looked up at Nix’s tall friend. Animal. I was guessing it wasn’t his given name.
“Okay. Thanks for telling me. Can you tell him thanks for being my fake boyfriend tonight?” I started wiping the table down after tucking the cash into my pocket to add it to the tip jar later.
“Of course.” Animal’s voice was deep. His liquid brown eyes seemed all knowing when I looked at him. Lord, his arms were like tree trunks. He had a gorgeous tiger tattoo on his bicep. “Do you mind if I stick around and walk you and your friend to your cars?”
“That would be great. Thanks again.”
Animal offered, “I’ll be outside.”
It was good. It gave me peace. Animal was scary but inspired trust. He’d been a gentleman and a good tipper in the few times in the past he’d been my customer. The bar had been hella packed tonight. Having patrons wait for us outside happened on busy nights. It was the last-ditched hope to get a little action. The friendly façade that Henry and I put out was misread a lot.
I told her we had an escort to our cars tonight and I watched as she seemed to relax as well. We rushed but still had to spend extra time fixing up the decorations that had taken a light beating tonight. They had to be ready to add to the festivities tomorrow. Then we split the tip money with the staff.
Both Henry and I wore our behind-the-bar shoes out, and my calves and lower back ached with the release of comfort. We hung our wings behind the bar as two more decorations.
We linked arms on our way out. Animal was just outside the door.
“Lovely ladies, what are you driving?” He gestured to the parking lot. Henry’s car was first and we dropped her off with a hug.
I knew she’d stay parked in her car until I was in mine and rolling. We had rules we followed.
“You’re too kind hanging out to help us.” I went digging for my car keys in my purse.
“The management should have a security guy walk you out.” He waited for me to open the doors.
I felt like I had put him out then. “Yeah, you’re right. Some of the bouncers will stay and make sure, but it all depends on who’s working.”
“Okay, baby. Off you go.” Animal pointed to my driver’s seat.
I was desperate to look in the back seat to make sure I was alone. Normally, I would flick the interior lights on and double check if I got the willies.
He must have sensed my hesitation. “Let me give it a good look around.”
Animal got low and looked underneath and investigated the back seat. “Can you get in and pop the trunk?”
I did as he asked and he looked in my trunk too. “You’re all clear, Miss Becca.”
“You really are great. Thanks again.”
I wanted to ask him if Nix would be at the bar tomorrow. It would be better to not, though. Not to ask. Not to hope. Because I couldn’t get over my fear if I kept giving into it.
Instead, I waved and started up my car. Henry rolled out behind me. I never saw what vehicle was Animal’s because he was still standing in the parking lot with his arms crossed when I last glimpsed at him in my rearview mirror.
~Fenix~
I knew the layout of her apartment already, so I navigated it in the dark with only my phone screen as a light source. And all the parts inside were no secret either. The bits I was looking at now were in the background whenever she played the app and I watched her.
I was standing in her bedroom now looking at her bed. All the images I’d summoned in my imagination had a real setting. A scent. Her whole apartment had a trace scent of citrus. It must be in her shampoo or something, because I caught that same scent tonight when she’d adjusted her hair.
I had to slap my own face lightly to encourage me to finish my job. On my knees I looked under her bed. Nothing but piles of old books.
I could look at anything she had in this apartment. It was like offering a buffet of drugs to an addict.
But I had to respect her privacy. I didn’t let myself open her drawers to see what her underwear looked like. I didn’t finger the cups of her bra like a complete psycho.
Honor among thieves. Or in this case—trespassers. I had to make sure Becca’s apartment was safe for her. I needed to make sure every closet, every room, all the windows—everything was secure.
Because her getting attacked in a bathroom had lit my mind on fire. Because I had a hard time believing it wasn’t my fault. My father. Somehow related to me.
Her place was clean and empty when I saw her headlights illuminate the parking lot and her living room window.
And I shouldn’t. I knew it was impossible. But instead of slipping out the f
ront door I had picked to get in here, I got into her front closet.
I heard her humming a song as she unlocked the door the proper way.
What the hell was I doing? What the fuck?
“I’m home! So if you’re a weird stalker, come out now so I can whack you with a pan. Actually, I’ll shoot you—I have four guns on me now.”
She was adding bravado to her silly words. She was scared. She didn’t have to be. I knew it was safe. Except for me. I was still there. After trekking back and forth to the kitchen, I realized she was going to open all the closets like I had just done.
Shit.
I shuffled quietly and hunched down. Her front closet had a towering pile of shoes. I made sure my feet were at the bottom of the pile.
When the door swung open, I held my breath and closed my eyes. I felt her whacking the coats and jackets with what I was assuming was a frying pan like she had mentioned at first.
Then she closed the door. I took a breath as I realized I was still undiscovered. And then I was mad because she should know how to properly sweep a closet. You go low. Hit hard. Make sure you see the back of the closet.
Becca went around her place making noise and checking for intruders. I heard what sounded like a pan getting put away in a pantry.
The ring for FaceTime started playing and Becca picked it up on the second ring.
“Everything okay at your place?” A female voice. I made an assumption that it was Henry from the bar. Which was good. Becca had a person who looked after her on late nights.
“Yeah. Just me, myself, and I.” Kitchen noises made some of their conversation hit-or-miss.
“So that skeleton guy at the bar? How’d it go?” Henry asked.
My heart was beating so loud. To hear what she thought about me. Now.
“Nix? He was really sweet.” The buttons of the microwave beeped.
“I bet under that makeup he’s hot as sin.”
I felt myself blush.
“I’ll tell you what. He was a perfect gentleman. I was hoping he would stay until our shift was over, but that’s asking a lot of a fake boyfriend.” She laughed at her own joke.
They went back and forth about what they were eating before Henry started in on Becca about the attack. I reminded myself to tip her more the next time I saw her.
“You didn’t see anything? Just darkness? Is it okay to talk about this? No. Don’t if it’s going to make you cry.”
I heard Becca sniffle and my heart cracked open. I wanted to hold her. Which would be a really bad impulse to follow through on right now.
“No. It’s cool. I’m just tired. It seems like it’s all getting to be a blur. But he smelled bad. Like real bad.” She took a minute to blow her nose. “He actually kicked me in the back. I forgot about that until right now.”
My mind flashed with my father. And the smell that accompanied him. He was aggressive with everything in his soul. Even his lack of hygiene.
“You know what else? He had whiskey on his breath too. I recognized it. I need to call the police…”
I kneeled in Becca’s front closet. Whiskey was the only way Dad solved his problems. Or got courage. Or got rage.
It had been him. I was certain of it. My hands were shaking. My pupils were shaking too, I bet. Everything was fuzzy.
Becca sobbed.
I bit my fist. This girl. This person I cared for all these years. I hadn’t protected her. He had targeted her. And I was nowhere to be found when she was in trouble.
“Oh, sweetie. Do you want me to come over? I can come over. Dick, can you drive me over?”
I heard a masculine mumble.
“I’m coming, Becs.”
“It’s okay. Really you don’t have to. You and Dick are already in your pajamas. We have work tomorrow. I’m going to take enough melatonin to knock an elephant out. You’re sweet, but don’t.” More nose blowing from Becca.
“You know, my mom’s advice is what helped. Ironically. She always told me to yell fire, not help if I was in trouble. Because people yell help a lot when they’re just fooling around. I knew that I had to yell once he took his hand off of my mouth.”
Silence.
“I’m coming over. Right now. Dick’s driving me. The animals are all set and fed. We’re sleeping at your house. Make sure your tits are covered. Do you want me to call and we can stay on the phone?”
My mind created the scene she had just described. He’d had her pressed against him. He’d covered her pretty mouth with his filthy hand. She must’ve been terrified. Screaming fire at the top of her lungs.
In the background, I heard Becca switch over to a phone call. I needed to get out of here. Soon the place would have company.
I just had to focus my anger and leave. I wanted to stand up and find her in this apartment. I wanted to kiss her mouth. Tell her that I was here. In her life. And that I was one hundred percent scarier than my father. Hers would be the side I would always pick.
But common sense had to bubble up. I tuned back in to the apartment. She was walking around while she talked.
She made her way into the bedroom. I took the moment to push out of the closet. I could see her reflected in her dresser mirror. A white tank top and white panties were all she had on. She looked delicate. I saw the bruises on her knees when she shuffled the phone in between her ear and her shoulder to pull on black leggings. The tank top rode up in the back, and sure enough, he’d marked her back as well. I knew that sweet spot of his well. Just below the kidney. He liked to drop that one on me whenever I tried to walk away from him.
I stepped backwards when she looked in the mirror at her reflection, making sure the shadows hid me. I opened the front door quietly and slid outside.
Her apartment door opened to a balcony hallway. I found a dark spot to stand in and watch her door until her friends arrived. Because I hadn’t been able to lock the door for her without risking her hearing it.
After I saw a very comfy Henry and a completely ripped, giant boyfriend be admitted into Becca’s place, I got back to my motorcycle and started it.
My father had touched her. My father had hurt her. My father was coming for her. There had been times over the years I thought that watching her was excessive. That I was using my perception as a child to color my adult reality. I wasn’t happy to be right. I’d rather that I was insane and she was unmarred by his violence.
I would have taken the long way home, but I felt the notification on my phone buzz, alerting me to the fact that Becca was waiting to play the app.
I’d stay up and run the claw machine for her until she could fall asleep, and then I would plot against my father. And Bat Feybi.
15
SWALLOW FIRE
Becca
I couldn’t believe how many free plays I was getting tonight. It was like winning the lotto. I won a rabbit, a pair of headphones, and a giant duck. I played the game until I passed out. The morning held the smells of breakfast, and it took me a few minutes to remember that I had company.
Of course. After Henry and Dick got here, I told them all about the attack again. They were both very sweet and consoling. When I went to the kitchen in the morning, wrapped in my pink robe, I had a small crowd around my table.
“Mom. Henry. Dick?” I shoved my hands into my pockets.
“You up, honey?” Mom liked to ask the obvious questions.
“Looks like. Did you guys make breakfast?” I looked at the table, which was covered with tin foiled covered dishes.
“Breakfast for a patient.”
He revealed pancakes, bacon, and eggs.
Henry ran a hand across Dick’s lower back. “My man can make injured things feel better, and that’s what happened here.”
She pointed in my direction.
“Don’t you guys have to go? What about the animals?” I sat down in the chair next to my mom.
Dick responded, “I’ve already been home and back. They’re all good. I wanted to take a peek at your knees this mornin
g, if that’s okay?”
He knelt in front of me while Henry smiled approvingly.
It was awkward having my best friend’s boyfriend between my legs, but I yanked up my leggings to let him have a look-see. He had a good bedside manner or I had the mannerisms of an injured squirrel, because we got along just fine. Dick was a roadkill rehabilitator and financially well endowed. Henry and Dick spent a great deal of their time and attention on the animals they rescued from the side of the road.
“Yeah, I think we need to ice these a little. How’s your back?” He didn’t ask me to take off my robe and I was grateful.
“Achy. I swear, the hits weren’t that bad, I was just so tense that it all hurts worse.”
I turned and served myself breakfast. I didn’t realize I was starving until that first bite of pancake hit my tongue. I moaned out loud. “Sweet Nelly, I’m going to inhale this.”
I set out on my newly appointed mission while my guests got to know each other better.
Dick, who was a scary douche when I first met him, couldn’t be nicer. He was intensely interested in my mom’s diagnosis. He started asking her about her stress levels and what she was doing while waiting for results.
Before I knew it, they were going on a “health boost walk,” and Henry and I were alone.
I wiped my lips with a paper towel. “Thank you for this. You guys went above and beyond.”
Henry started clearing the table and frowned when I tried to get up to help.
“You sit. Today, we’re icing your injuries and relaxing. You should call in tonight too.” She poured me another cup of coffee.
“I can’t miss tonight. It’s a big deal. But I’ll let you clean up this glorious mess.” I propped my feet up on a kitchen chair and took the ice packs Henry offered me from my freezer. “When did my mom show up?”
“Oh, about a half hour ago. She was worried about you.” Henry used Ziploc bags to store the leftovers.
“This was the last thing she needed right now. I wish the cops had caught the guy. I have to let them know about the back blow and the fact he drinks whiskey.” I set my coffee cup down and put my thumb between my teeth. I didn’t want to call the police again. I just wanted it all to be over.
Mercy Page 9
