by J. J. Dean
My heartbeat begins to slow, and I look around the room, spotting the fragments of glass that coats the floor. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, so sorry. I didn't- I broke the- I'm sorry."
My voice sounds dry and croaky, even to my ears, and I clear my throat some more only to repeat my apology over and over. I can't take my eyes off the glass, the broken pieces that lie discarded on the floor.
The more I come back to my senses, embarrassment creeps in. I can't believe I just reacted like that. How ridiculous, that I just fell to the floor and glued myself to the wall, all because I was caught off guard. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
Tears fill my eyes - annoying tears that I'm growing very sick of - but I don't take my eyes off the broken drinking glass. Leaning away from the wall and avoiding the looks of the four men that surround me, I begin to gather the shards with my bare hands, nicking my pale skin with sharp edges. "I'll clean it. I'm sorry, I'll clean it."
Warm hands grip my wrists to stop me from making anymore damage, and my water-filled eyes shoot up to meet Nix's tortured gaze. The look on his face breaks me more than anything, and I'm suddenly overwhelmed with emotion. A choked cry escapes my lips, and the tears finally fall, scalding streaks running down my face. With a cracked voice, I whisper, "I'm sorry."
I'm suddenly pulled into the warmest embrace, thick arms banding around my body while I curl into a defined, muscled chest and cry. My tears soak Nix's shirt, but he doesn't seem to care. He holds me tight while I sob and cling to him like my life depends on him being right here with me.
A different hand joins in on soothing me, rubbing a warm palm up and down my spine with gentle movements. When I open my swollen eyes a fraction and tilt my head, I see it's Ezra who's offering me comfort, a sad frown in place. My eyes close again, and I sink into Nix, my body finally uncoiling from how tightly wound I'd kept it. The fingers I hadn't realised had tangled into Nix's shirt begin to loosen.
"Are you feeling better, sweetheart?" Spencer quietly asks from in front of where I'm tucked sideways into Nix's chest.
I give him the slightest nod, keeping my eyes closed because I really don't want to take the chance of seeing them look at me with pity, like I'm some broken thing they're stuck with and have to talk out of crazy episodes. I don't think I'll be able to handle that kind of look in any of their eyes.
Ezra's steady hand continues to glide over my back with soft motions, and I find myself relaxing more and more. With Nix's arms wrapped tightly around me, and Ezra offering me comfort through touch, something in my chest settles significantly.
A calloused hand carefully untangles my fingers from Nix's shirt and holds it securely in his. With great effort, I open my eyes and see Spencer sitting cross-legged in front of me, right in the shards.
"You're sitting in the glass." My voice is barely above a whisper, but he hears me just fine. He gives me a tiny smile and shakes his head.
"The glass won't bother me. We should get you cleaned up though so Zayn can come back into the room," he tells me. I give him a confused frown, which he understands and answers. "You've bled a lot because of the glass, more so when you tried to clear it with your hands. Zayn has perfected control over his basic instincts, but the smell was getting to him, so he excused himself as soon as Nix pulled you into his lap."
That makes me feel awful. If I didn't stupidly try to clean the glass with my damn hands, I wouldn't have bled so much. Idiot woman.
"Hey, now. None of that. I can see the guilt etched all over your face. It's not your fault, so don't think that for a second." His hand tightens around mine, warm and strong. Safe.
It's a difficult thing, not to think about feeling guilty when the feeling niggles at you, but I do my best. I also focus on my wounds, trying to will the cuts and slashes to heal faster, so Zayn doesn't have to deal with the smell. I can feel the sting of my injuries fading, and when I look down at my hands, I see the cuts knitting together until my skin is back to its flawless state, unmarked and unblemished.
"I'll clean the rest of this away," Spencer says, climbing to his feet. When he's standing, he holds a hand out, and a flare of gold light emanates from his palm. He makes a gesture with his hand, and, in a blink of an eye, all of the glass disappears. Not a single shard is left, leaving the floor as clear as it had been before. That makes me feel a whole lot stupider, seeing as though there really was no reason for me to try and clean up the mess. "I'll go let Zayn know the coast is clear."
Annoyed and embarrassed, I shove my face into the crook of Nix's neck, feeling his hold on me tighten. Ezra's hand comes to a stop on my lower back, and he leans in close, his crisp English accent easy to hear when he whispers, "Are you alright now, love?"
I offer him a small nod of my head, never moving away from Nix. Ezra leans closer still and surprises me with a tender kiss to my temple before he moves away, taking his comforting touch with him.
I don't know where the incubus disappears to, but it's suddenly just Nix and I in the room, still sitting on the floor, unwilling to part from one another. He rests his cheek on my head and gruffly whispers, "I'm so sorry, Novia."
His apology has me pulling my face from his skin, my eyebrows drawing in confusion. What on Earth does he have to apologise for? I search his eyes and only find deep pools of regret and guilt.
"Why are you apologising?" My voice is a little stronger than before, but there's still a hint of a rasp that bothers me. I clear my throat and say, "I smashed the glass and caused a scene, Nix. You have nothing to apologise for."
He shakes his head and says, "I'm the reason that happened. Zayn was in my head, and I didn't think before yelling. It's my fault. I sent you into-"
I place my hand over his mouth, my fingers pressing slightly into his full lips and cutting off whatever he was going to say. With more strength in my voice, I say, "You have nothing to apologise for."
My eyes bore into his, trying to tell him with my gaze that he's not to blame, and I don't want his guilt or apologies. His gaze flickers between my eyes, and he suddenly deflates like a punctured tire, dropping his forehead to mine while his eyes close slowly. The tables seem to turn in that moment; Nix needs my support and comfort, someone to hold him and lend him their strength. Now that I'm almost over my episode, I have the strength to give him, so I untuck my arms and wrap them around his neck, pulling him closer until his head lands on the shoulder and his arms wrap tighter around my waist.
The skin of his cheek presses into my bare shoulder where my shirt has fallen, a warm tingling sensation blooming from the contact. The feeling makes my heart thunder under my rib cage, and a flush runs through my body, eliciting a shiver that I can't hide. Why is it that any time one of them touches my bare skin, I have the same reaction? Where my heart feels like it's going to crash through my chest, my body tingles everywhere, and butterflies form in my belly? And why doesn't it feel wrong, like some alien sensation that shouldn't be there? The feeling is familiar, as though it's supposed to occur any time I'm touched by them. Like they were meant to touch me. The only thing I know that causes that is a mating bond. But fae don't mate with any other Natural other than fae, so what's happening? Why does it feel so right to have their hands on me, in any sense of the meaning?
Nix's arms squeeze a little before loosening a fraction. His head tilts on my shoulder, and I feel him press the softest kiss to my skin. The move causes me to inhale audibly. My hand trails up the back of his neck, and I sink my hand into his thick hair.
When I don't pull him away, he presses a firmer kiss to the crook of my neck, the bristles of his beard rasping over my skin in a way I'd never thought would feel so good. My breathing has picked up, and I'm sure Nix is able to hear how hard my heart is pounding in my chest.
He moves away from my neck, his head moving until his face is directly in front of my own. His ocean blue eyes bore into my unusual mismatched pair, and what I see in them has my breath stopping in my lungs; pure, unadulterated lust. That's not a look I've seen directed at me be
fore, and it damn near sets me on fire, lighting me up from the inside out. Surely I shouldn't be reacting this way after having a crazy episode, but it's like my body can't help it. The way Nix is looking at me right now, like I'm all he sees and wants, has my blood heating up and a sudden ache forming between my legs.
His eyes search mine briefly. I don't move, just stare into his deep eyes like I'm seconds away from falling into all that is Nix. My eyes must give him the answer to an unspoken question because he slowly moves closer, his eyes watching me carefully. His mouth draws nearer to mine. Subconsciously, my tongue sneaks out to wet my dry lips. Nix's gaze darts down to my mouth before flicking back up, a deeper need burning in his eyes when they connect with my gaze.
In a blink, his mouth is on me. His soft lips push firmly into mine, the scruff of his beard tickling my skin as he moves his mouth over my parted lips. The hand I have in his hair tightens and tugs him closer while I kiss him harder, a growing need building inside of me, so intense that I begin to fidget on his lap. One of his large hands skims over my side, over my shoulder, and into my hair, holding me at the angle he wants me.
His tongue strokes my bottom lip before sliding inside my mouth and tangling with my own. His grip tightens on my hair, and an animalistic growl vibrates through his chest when I squeeze my legs together and shuffle on his lap again. My heart is pounding heavily, and something deep inside me stirs, begging for release… to claim.
Nix distracts me from the feeling. With every stroke of his tongue and nip of his teeth on my bottom lip, my brain turns to mush, so when he slowly pulls away, I follow, planting my mouth back on his and kissing him with all I have. Another growl leaves him, and the ache between my legs grows stronger, liquid pooling at the apex of my thighs.
This time, when he pulls away, he nips at my lower lip again before moving away completely, the hand in my hair preventing me from stealing another heart-racing kiss. He leans his forehead against mine, both of us catching our breaths.
When our breathing evens out, Nix pulls his head away. With a delicious rasp to his already deep voice, Nix says, "I think we should all sit down and have a long conversation."
My eyebrows furrow in confusion. A conversation about what?
Chapter 11
Nix
Novia looks at me with confusion, a small crinkle forming between her eyebrows. “What kind of conversation?”
Her voice is still a little shaky, but I’m hoping that it’s because of my kissing and not leftover trauma from me yelling like a fucking brute. Considering Zayn had told me Novia planned on leaving soon, it was understandable why I’d yelled, but the anger in my outburst must have triggered some sort of PTSD. I’ve never felt a more consuming guilt than what I felt when I saw the sheer panic in Novia’s eyes after I yelled or the terror that overtook her, bringing her to the floor and causing her to scrape her soft skin on shards of broken glass.
The pang in my chest almost had me doubling over when I saw the tears in her eyes and the way she was staring at absolutely nothing like she wasn’t even here anymore. That scene will likely haunt me for the rest of my days.
When she came back to us, she was embarrassed. I could tell by the way she wouldn’t look at us directly, and her cheeks turned bright red. If that didn’t pile on the guilt a heap ton more, then it was the way that her entire body trembled and shook even after I’d snatched her off the floor and held her while she calmed.
Honestly, I think I needed to hold her more than she needed me to. My animals were clawing at me, putting my nerves on end, but as soon as I had her in my arms, they settled instantly. And then they started clawing at me for a whole new reason when the need to kiss her became almost unbearable.
That pretty much confirmed that she’s my mate and my animals have already claimed her. I had my suspicions that it wasn’t just a fae mating bond for me because my animals have been riled up, pacing inside me with restlessness. Since finding Novia, the pacing has started growing stronger, the need to shift coming in more spurts with less time between each shift. Only, when I go to shift the stubborn fuckers dig their feet into the ground and refuse to move too far from the damn house.
If that didn’t confirm the fae is mine, then I don’t know what would. It’s a strange thing, given our races aren’t the same, and I’m already aware that fae only mate with other fae. We’ll need to research what that’s all about. But first things first; removing the idea that Novia is going to leave us.
“Nix? What conversation?” Novia asks again, tilting her head to the right while her stunningly mismatched eyes search my own.
“You’ll find out soon enough. We need to gather the others.”
Without removing her from my lap, I lift us both off the floor. As soon as I’m upright, I deposit her on her feet, reluctant to let her go at all. As soon as she’s stable, Ezra walks into the room with a fresh set of clothing. It doesn’t escape my notice that they’re his clothes again. The man has a crush, but he’s trying to deny it. Stupid man.
He hands them over to Novia, who accepts them with a small smile.
“Seems like I’m saying this a lot, but thank you.” She gives him a bigger smile, her embarrassment wearing off now that the worst of her episode is behind her.
A smile pulls at Ezra’s mouth, but he fights it. He gives her a nod instead and turns around, heading to the kitchen to clear away the remainder of dinner. Before he throws all the food away, Novia speaks up. “Can you leave mine, please? I know it’s probably cold, but I was enjoying it, and I’d like to finish eating it.”
Ezra looks at her with surprise but nods his head and says, “Of course, love. I’ll put some film over it and keep it in the microwave for you until you’re ready for it.”
“Okay, thanks,” she says before snorting and rolling her eyes at herself. “I’m going to go change. Sorry about your clothes, Ezra.”
He turns his head slightly, keeping his back to her, and says, “It’s fine. I have more where they came from.”
Novia smiles and disappears into the bathroom, the door shutting quietly behind her. Just as the door closes, Zayn and Spencer come into the room.
“You okay, man?” I ask, socking Zayn in the shoulder playfully.
He offers me a sheepish smile but nods. With a quiet voice, so only my ears can hear, he says, “I believe more now than ever that there’s a mating bond tethering us to her. I didn’t notice it before because she was drenched in water and lying on death’s door when we found her, and-“
He stops himself suddenly, and I look questioningly at him, but his eyes dart to the bathroom. It’s then that I hear Novia open the door and re-enter the living room, wearing Ezra’s clothes and cut free.
“Hey. I’m sorry about... all of that. Are you okay?” she asks Zayn, worry woven through her words for the vampire.
He gives her a soft smile and nods, telling her, “Completely fine. No need to worry.”
“Okay.” She nods again and moves towards the couch, sitting in the spot I’m quickly beginning to refer to as hers. She pulls the throwover from the back of the couch and lays it over her lap, snuggling down into the cushions.
I watch Ezra leave the kitchen and ask Novia if she wants a drink. When she asks for a glass of water, he’s rushing off to comply. And he still won’t admit that he likes her. I’d snort if it wouldn’t give my thoughts away.
While Ezra waits on the woman, Zayn decides to continue our conversation in my mind where the others won’t be privy.
As I was saying, when we found her, I couldn’t smell her blood because she was covered in dirt and soaked to the bone. When she cut herself on the glass and the smell reached my nose, it was as though everything inside me lit up like a firework. She’s all I could see, smell, hear, and think of. It’s not something I’ve ever felt before, and certainly not something I’ve experienced when drinking blood in the past. I’ll need to research it before discussing it with her, but I’m almost certain it’s a mating bond.
&nbs
p; I give him a subtle nod, mulling his words over in my head. The more I think on them, the more strength grows within my theory that I’ve found my mate, too.
What do you mean? Found your mate?
Well, that serves me right for forgetting to cap my thoughts. I give Zayn a side-eye, catching him watching me intently. It won’t hurt to tell him, seeing as though his thoughts border my own, right? If I explain, then I won’t have to keep it to myself. Who better to confide in than the man who’s just admitted he believes he’s bonded to Novia, and who clearly seems to like the woman.
I move to the couch, sitting as close to Novia as I can without sitting on top of her. Her arm brushes mine, and her folded legs lift for me to slide my own underneath hers so her knees rest on my thigh. She seems to do it all subconsciously, not really putting much thought into her actions, just doing what feels right. That makes me smile, but I wipe it away with my hand.
As soon as I’m comfortable and I see Zayn sit into his armchair, I explain.
She’s my mate, for sure. Since that first tug that led us to her, my animals have been restless unless I’m around her. I need to shift more now than ever because my animals aren’t settling like they normally do. Thing is, when I leave to do just that, to release any of my animals that are clawing at me, they don’t want to move away from the house. They don’t want to be too far from Novia. They need her, just like I do. I know that kind of thing is a mating bond from what I’ve heard from my kind over the years. I just don’t understand how it’s possible. Fae only take fae mates, so how have my animals already chosen her and are begging me to claim her?
With a quick glance, I see Zayn looking thoughtful. He nods to himself and leans back into his chair. Spencer joins us, sitting in his seat and resting a leg on his knee. When Ezra returns to the living room, he sits on the two-seater couch after handing Novia her drink.
