by Cala Riley
∞∞∞
“Grab that right there. Now bring it over here. I’m going to let you handle this one.”
Dr. Fields has been letting me be hands on all morning. I didn’t expect it. I thought the first couple of weeks would be more lectures or shadowing. Instead, when I got here this morning, she put me right to work.
“Okay, Mr. Johnson. Mia here is going to lance this cyst for you then dress it up. It might hurt a little bit, but we’re going to numb it first.”
I don’t understand why I need to know how to lance a cyst, but I’m not going to complain. I’m eager to learn all I can from her.
She steps to the side as I come over to the man. He’s lying on his stomach without a shirt. Mr. Johnson’s an older gentleman, and the wrinkles on his back make the cyst look bigger.
Dr. Fields hands me a syringe. She smiles in encouragement. Before we walked in here, she explained the procedure we were doing. She wanted me to be prepared. I took notes in my notebook, but I can’t pull it out now. My heart is beating in my chest as I think about the fact that I’m going to work on this man without a degree. Not that he knows it, but I do, and it makes me nervous.
I stick the needle into his back, right next to the cyst. He hisses a little in pain as I slowly press the stopper in to administer the fentanyl.
“Okay, Mr. Johnson, we’re going to wait a couple of minutes for the numbing medicine to kick in. Why don’t you tell me about your daughter?”
I encourage him to talk as I press the area around the cyst. He rattles on, telling me all about his daughter and his grandchildren. It’s obvious he loves them very much. I answer when appropriate, letting him talk away.
After a couple of minutes, I take a clean needle and probe the area around the cyst. When he shows no reaction, I turn to look at Dr. Fields. She’s been watching me from the side but hasn’t said a word. Now she nods in encouragement.
“Keep talking, Mr. Johnson. I’m just going to lance this. Let me know if anything hurts.”
He continues to prattle on as I grab the scalpel on the tray beside me. I pick up a gauze in my other hand and press the gauze below the cyst while I pose the scalpel above the cyst. I take two deep breaths before I press it to his skin. I watch as the mass cuts apart and ooze puss out. I catch it with the gauze while I set the scalpel down on the second tray, the one meant for used tools. Mr. Johnson hasn’t changed his tone as he continues to talk.
I probe the open wound, trying to push out as much of the puss as possible. I grab another stack of gauze and press it to the wound while I discard the first set on the second tray. I continue to do this until the wound is no longer full of puss.
I’m trying to remember the next step when Dr. Fields steps forward and hands me a long strip of what looks like paper, but it’s thinner and smells weird.
Antibiotic packing strip. Dr. Fields said I needed to warn him it might hurt.
“Okay, Mr. Johnson, you’re doing so well. I love hearing all about your family. Keep going. I just want to let you know this part might hurt a bit, but it will be over soon.”
“You go on, darling. This old man can handle a bit of pain,” he says before he starts talking about his newborn grandson.
I take the cotton swab from the tray and use it to gently press the packing gauze into the wound. It isn’t until I’m almost done that I become aware of a slight change in Mr. Johnson’s voice.
“Are you okay, Mr. Johnson?”
“Yep, a little uncomfortable is all. I’ll be okay once you’re done.”
I hurry up then, trying to finish to avoid causing him pain. Once done, I clip the extra packing gauze then turn to look at Dr. Fields. She nods her acceptance, and I feel a weight lifted off my shoulders. I did it right. I can do this.
“Before you dress the wound, I want to bring your daughter in, Mr. Johnson. She will need to dress your wounds until I see you back in ten days.”
“Sure thing, Doc.”
It takes only minutes before Dr. Fields brings the young woman into the room.
“This is Mia. She’s my associate. She will show you how to dress the wound.”
“Why do you go by Mia instead of doctor?” the woman asks, suspicious.
I feel a slight panic but decide to tell the truth, or close to it.
“I don’t really feel like a normal doctor. I’m more like a community member here to help out anyone in need. I don’t take joy in being called doctor because it feels stuffy, as if I think I’m better than you when really I’m just like you, but with a different education.”
The woman smiles. “What a refreshing view. You speak more normal, no offense, Dr. Fields.”
Dr. Fields just nods as she stands quiet.
“She’s only watching me because I’m new here. She wants to make sure I’ll be a good fit,” I add for good measure.
The lady smiles as I show her how to dress the wound. Once it’s done, they are on their way.
“By the time he comes back, you will be able to handle him on your own. You did well. Let’s go to our next patient.”
“Dr. Fields, if you don’t mind me asking, how is what you do here really going to help me?”
She pulls me into an empty room and shuts the door.
“Hush, no one knows you aren’t really a med student. I told them I was taking you on as an intern. As for your question, you will be a better doctor than they realize. You won’t only be needed in times of crisis. You will be able to handle anything they throw your way. That man in there? He has the sore because his daughter doesn’t help him shower. He sits in a bath and bathes himself, and her husband helps him out when he’s done. The sore’s from an infection from not being clean. The men you will be dealing with will be in dirtier situations. While it is less likely they will get a cyst, it is a possibility. I want you to be as prepared as possible. I don’t want to be called back, Mia.”
Her eyes tear up as she looks slightly panicked.
“You won’t. I promise. I’m taking over for you. I just need you to teach me what will be most helpful.”
“Well, lucky for you, this clinic gets a lot of seedy characters. Usually drug users, but they often get stabbed or shot and come here. We aren’t like most clinics. We won’t report. We would rather they be seen than report them.”
“How are you paid then?”
“Oh, trust me, they pay. Usually in cash. If not, they don’t get the good drugs to numb them.”
I’m starting to think maybe Dr. Fields isn’t as innocent as she made herself sound. How could anyone willingly work on a patient without the proper medications when you actually have the medication to help them? I don’t say anything though. I file that bit of information in the back of my mind for later.
“What’s next?” I ask.
She exits the room, and we walk to the front.
“Dr. Fields, there was a fight over on 6th. They are sending the minor injuries our way.”
“Well, it looks like you get some excitement after all.”
∞∞∞
Mia: Hey. Can I see you tonight?
It has been five days since I started working at the clinic with Dr. Fields. It’s worn me out in the best possible way. The clinic stays busy from open until close. Two nights we stayed after hours because she couldn’t turn the people away.
I’ve treated a lot of different things too. From strep throat to a foot that ended up needing to be amputated. I thought for sure we were going to send him to a real hospital, but Dr. Fields told him to come back at the end of the night. She showed me the best way to amputate a leg with little resources.
I had been horrified, but she told me the patient was a homeless man and the hospital would have done it, but they would have sent him a lot of bills. She did it pro bono because it could be a teaching experience for me.
It has been an exhausting week. All I’ve wanted to do is be with Lo, but he’s been just as busy. He’s talked to me here and there, but it’s been short texts. I haven’t
given it much thought. I have fallen asleep early every night once I arrive home.
Tonight is Friday. I still have to go to the clinic tomorrow, but I want to see my man.
Lo: No. Busy.
I sigh. The same thing he has been telling me all week. Problem is, I don’t want to take no for an answer tonight. I’m exhausted, but I want to see him. I need to be with him.
Mia: Can’t you come by after?
The three dots pop up, but then they disappear with no answer. I sigh as I watch my phone.
“What are you doing?” Izzy slides down onto the couch next to me.
“Just got home. I need a shower, but I’m so tired, and what I want most is for Lo to come visit me, but he says he’s busy.”
She looks pensive for a moment. “Let’s find out if he really is.” She picks up her phone and dials Sofia.
“Hey, Iz. What’s up?” She sounds all out of breath. I chuckle.
“Sorry to interrupt your sexy time, but Mia has a question. Has Lo been busy all week with work?”
“Stop it, Bash. This is serious,” she chides in the background.
“Why did you even answer the phone, tesoro?”
“Sorry, what did you ask?”
We hear a squeak then Bash’s voice comes on the phone.
“We are busy here. What do you need?”
“Bash. Perfect. You would know better. Has Lo been busy all week? Is he out on assignment tonight?”
He chuckles. “Lo isn’t ever on assignment. He makes his own schedule. If he’s hiding from you, Isabel, then maybe he’s avoiding you. Goodbye now.”
The phone hangs up, and Izzy looks at me. My mouth drops open.
“He didn’t even try to lie for him.” I gasp.
“He thought he was talking to me, Mia. He could have been lying to me.”
I pick up my phone and dial Lo from Izzy’s phone. He answers on the first ring.
“What’s wrong, Isabel?”
I go to speak, but Izzy snags the phone back and puts it on speaker.
“Lo. Mia’s really upset. I’m not sure what’s wrong. What did you do to her?”
I make out the music in the background, and I recognize the karaoke.
“I know where he is,” I mouth.
She smiles and points to the bathroom.
Go shower.
“I’ve been busy. I will call her tomorrow.”
“You better, Lo.”
She continues to talk, but I can’t hear her once I lock myself into the bathroom.
I take the quickest shower in the world and spend another twenty minutes blow-drying my hair. Izzy pops her head in when I’m done.
“I laid out an outfit for you, babe. Hurry up and do your makeup.”
“I love you, Iz.”
“I know.”
She comes in and touches up her own makeup while I do mine. Once my face is on, I head into my bedroom and find the outfit she laid out for me. Nothing too fancy, but sexy enough to catch an eye.
The dress she picked is a red wraparound dress. It shows enough cleavage to tease, but not enough to look trashy. It also accentuates my legs, which is good seeing as I am so short.
I put the dress on then slip into my favorite black pumps.
I look at myself in the mirror and smile. I look like a vixen. Perfect.
“You ready?” Izzy says from the door, but then her eyes widen. “Damn, you look like sex on a stick! If I wasn’t totally into dicks, I would want to fuck you, girl.”
I chuckle. I know she’s overdoing it, but I love her anyway.
“Well, if it doesn’t work out with Lo, I might take you up on that.”
“If it doesn’t work out with Lo, he’s going to be dead.”
“I love you for being so tough.”
“I love you, so he better watch his back.”
“Stop it. Let’s go.” I smack her arm as I grab a clutch out of the closet.
After we are all ready to go, we go out and stand on the front step. Both guards get out.
“Who do you want to take?”
“Who will be less likely to argue?”
I chuckle at her response. “I think they will both argue.”
“Where are we going?” Izzy asks.
“The Brooklyn Lounge,” I say as I start walking toward Dante.
Izzy grabs my arm and stops me short. “What? Are you crazy? That place is dangerous.”
“It might be, but it’s where Lo is, and I’m going to talk to him. Are you coming with me?”
“Fuck. Giovanni took me there once when we were teens. Some guy got stabbed while we were there. I had been scared shitless.”
“Trust me.”
We walk up to Dante, and I smile. “We need a ride. We’re going out.”
“Sure. Where to?”
“The Brooklyn Lounge.”
His eyes narrow, so I continue on.
“Lorenzo is there waiting on me. He said you would bring me, and he would protect us while we’re in there. Giovanni’s there too. Are you going to take us? Or should I call Lo?”
The man shakes his head. “Get in.”
He calls back to Angelo and tells him where we’re going as he gets in the driver’s side. It doesn’t take long to get there. We pull up outside the longue, and Dante parks out front. Right where we did when I came with Matt.
“Call me if you need me to come in, Miss Mia and Miss Isabel. Be safe. Stay near the guys.”
“Will do, Dante.”
We hop out and Izzy stops in front of the door. She takes a calming breath. “You lied right? Giovanni isn’t here?”
“Hell, if I know, Iz. You know as much as I do. I just needed to get us here.”
“Well, we’re here now. Let’s do this.” She pushes through the door, and a big burly man is standing off to the side. I smile at him as he asks for ID’s. I hand them to him, and he nods us through. Once inside, I look around, but I can’t see much over the number of people and the clouds of smoke.
“Let’s go to the bar,” I yell in Izzy’s ear.
She nods as she scours the crowd as well. Once at the bar, I notice the same waitress from before. I know she knows Lo, so I walk up to her.
“Hey, can you point me to Lo?”
She sneers at me. “Find him yourself, bitch.”
Izzy steps up then. “Do you know who she is? That’s Lo’s girl. Do you really want her telling him how she’s being treated?”
The woman’s face pales at her words. “He’s over in the corner. Back there.” She points to the area then hurries off.
“Damn. You scared her.” I chuckle.
“I didn’t. Lo did. Let’s go get your man.” Izzy starts to head in the direction the woman pointed but stops short in the middle of the floor. I run into the back of her and cuss.
“Why did you stop?”
I don’t hear her sigh, but I see the movement in her body. “Giovanni’s here. Let’s go.” She pulls me forward again and walks right up to their table.
“Look at who we have here. What are you boys doing?”
The first thing I notice is Lo’s eyes. They widen at the sight of me. Then they narrow.
He stands up and grabs my wrist as he pulls me to the side. “What are you doing here?”
“I dig this place. I heard the karaoke is good. I didn’t get a chance to perform last time.”
He clenches his teeth. “You need to leave. Now.”
I pull out of his grasp and feel the anger take over. I thought he would be excited to see me. I couldn’t have been more wrong. What happened to the man who was so sweet and kind to me a couple of days ago?
“No. I won’t leave. I have a right to be here, Lo. You don’t control me.”
I turn to tell Izzy we are staying, but she’s gone. So is Giovanni. Instead, I slide into Giovanni’s seat.
Lo slides back into his seat and glares at me.
“I’m only sitting here until Izzy comes back. We’re going to sing a song together.”
He nods but doesn’t speak. I watch as he picks up his glass and downs it in one go.
“What are you really doing here, Mia?” he asks in a deep, grave voice.
I decide to give him a dose of honesty. “I wanted to see you, Lo. You refuse to make time for me.”
“You’re not my girlfriend, Mia. I don’t have to make time for you.”
His words hurt my heart, but I still believe the man who came to me Sunday night. He felt things for me. Maybe this is Lo’s way of pushing me away.
“I’m not going anywhere, Lo. I know you have feelings for me. They might scare the fuck out of you, but you have them. I’m not going to disappear because you want to live in denial.”
His eyes harden then. Before he looked like he was warring with himself. Now, he looks like a coldhearted killer. His emotionless mask slides neatly into place. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I think you're imagining things. Should we get your head checked?”
“Fuck you, Lo. We both know you were there. If you didn’t want me to know, maybe you shouldn’t have left your jizz all over my stomach, dumbass. I know you felt it that night. It was different, more than just sex.”
“It wasn’t sex at all. We were just playing. I thought you understood the score. We aren’t ever going to have sex, Mia.”
“You keep lying to yourself, Lo. I’ll be here when you come to your senses.”
He doesn’t reply. Instead, he flags the waitress down. This time, she’s careful as she comes over. She looks at me instead of Lo.
“What can I get you, sweetie?”
Before I can answer, Lo grabs her arm and pulls her down into his lap.
“Scarlett, babe, can you grab me another whiskey?”
My heart stops. My breath catches. Scarlett looks at me and beams. She turns back to him and nips his ear.
“Sure thing, hun. I’ll be right back.”
She saunters off, and I glare at Lo.
“Is that what you’re going to do? Fuck a piece of trash? Is trash what you prefer?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Mia. You sound crazy. You should probably go. You need sleep. You look exhausted.”
Each word is a stab into my heart. I tried to look good for him. I wanted to look perfect, like the angel he always calls me. Instead, he’s sitting here telling me how terrible I look. What a fucking joke I must be to him.
