by A. A LEVINE
“That’s because ever since she got here, you act like the training doesn’t matter. Hey, I get it. She’s cute. You like her. But you get how this works, right? If she flunks out, you’ll probably never see her again. And if she makes it, will she still want to be with you, after she reads the contract?”
Xander’s voice is quieter losing some of its sting. “Maybe it won’t come to that.”
“Don’t kid yourself Xander. It always comes to that.”
I got two things out of that conversation. John thinks I’m cute- I shudder at the thought- and Xander’s hiding something from me.
Chapter Twenty-One
Holli
Humming. Buzzing. Ringing. They’re all a prelude to me psychically eavesdropping on someone’s conversation. Today’s trip into unwanted thoughts has me staring at the ceiling. Not just any ceiling. I’m home lying on the living room floor. I was wrong. It's not a telepathic link, I’m inside my head reliving a memory. I hear dad yelling at the television and Aiden joins right in. It was their ritual to watch the game together. In this memory we’re six years old. I know because that’s the year I wore my ballet slippers every chance I got and they’re on my feet right now.
"Holli, you gotta see this."
“I am seeing this.”
“Hey, use your own eyes.” Aiden tosses a chip at me.
“Holli. You know the rules.” Dad scolds.
“I’m sorry daddy.”
The memory jumps backwards. I grab Aiden’s hand and we rush down the stairs to dad’s workshop.
“Daddy, somebody’s coming.”
“How long before they get here?”
I can see the playground at the school and then my friend Sarah’s bike. It takes 400 steps to get to our house from her bike.
“400 steps daddy.”
“Good girl. That means three minutes. Now this next thing is very important okay.”
I nod. Daddy explained to me last week what important means.
“Okay.”
He stoops down to look me in the eye and smiles, nodding his head to give me permission to see his thoughts. I’m going to have to go with them for tests.
“Will it hurt daddy?”
“No, sweetheart. It won’t hurt and mommy will be there.”
“Aiden’s not going with me?”
Daddy tucks my hair behind my ear and kisses my cheek. “Not yet, baby.”
Aiden turns to look behind us. His eyes widen and his voice is soft when he announces, “They’re here.”
I tighten my grip on his hand as we climb the stairs and cross the space to the front door. I’m a good six feet away when the door flies open bouncing off the wall behind it. The man in the doorway is staring at me. His thoughts are grey like a storm cloud. He doesn’t want me to see them and he’s scared but I don’t understand why. Daddy said I have to go with them and Aiden can’t come. I trust my daddy. “Can I bring my doll?”
I’m sit up in bed. I’m sweating and it’s hard to breathe. It was my first time being separated from Aiden. Why didn’t I remember that? I feel like I’m suffocating when another memory hits. My parents are arguing. It’s date night, and they went to the movies leaving me and Aiden home with a sitter. They’re sitting in the car in front of the theater, but I can see and hear them as if I’m right next to them.
“Do you really think this is what’s best for Holli? To send her away to school to be studied like a lab specimen?”
“Brandon, that’s not fair. That’s not what my job does and you know I would never let them do anything to hurt her.”
“How would you stop them Mariah?”
I need a run, but it’s too dark to take the trails. I slip on my workout gear and head to the gym. I pass Xander and Alex in a corner standing close. They’re whispering, but stop when I walk by, the way people do when they’re talking about you. Whatever they’re discussing, they’re being extra vigilant about guarding it. It’s just as well; my own thoughts are troubling enough.
Today, I only run for an hour, because my cell phone flashes with a calendar invite. I have a meeting before school this morning. The hallway where Xander and Alex were earlier is vacant on my trip back to my room. Now that I’m clear headed I have time to think about Xander and how strange he was acting. I get not wanting to advertise that we’re seeing each other, but there was some other type of vibe coming off of him this morning.
In fact, he’s had his defenses up a lot since I asked him about the history of our species. Whatever John said that day must’ve gotten to him and now he’s starting to freeze me out. John weighs in on every other aspect of my life, but my relationship has to be off limits. I need to make time to counteract whatever damage he did.
The next time Xander and I are together, I casually mention overhearing the beginning of his conversation with John. When I ask him to explain, he feigns confusion.
“You were saying something about giving me the only answer you’re allowed to share. What’s that about?”
“Maybe you misunderstood.”
“No. I don’t think so. He said you shouldn’t have been talking to me about the history of our species and you agreed and said something about knowing what say and what not to say.” I watch his face and it’s as unreadable as John’s on any given day.
“Holli. Honestly, whatever it was, I don’t remember.” He tilts my chin and kisses my forehead. “And he was probably right. I’m not supposed to be having those types of conversations with you right now. The curriculum is outlined so that we don’t overwhelm you with too much information too soon.”
If I’m his girlfriend and I assume that’s who I am based on the time we spend together and kisses we’ve shared, then there shouldn’t be any topics that are off limit. But he’s sitting here telling me that there are. “So you're saying we shouldn’t talk anymore?”
“We can talk about training exercises that have already happened, and school as long as it covers topics you’re currently studying or have studied. Anything else like future training material or policies that apply to senior Orion agents, is off limits, because it may give you an unfair advantage. There has to be a line between what’s happening with us and that.”
This separation of church and state thing is new, and it’s a little strange that he’s mentioned Orion policy. I rarely ask policy questions because I can read it in the student handbook. Now’s not the time to push the subject. I have a training session soon and I need to be stress free for it. I lean my head against Xander’s shoulder and pretend like his answer is good enough.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Holli
“Three, two, three.” I jab cross jab according to the count. “One, one, three.” Duck duck jab. “Keep your feet moving. Nice and easy. Okay now give me ten percent more intensity on this next cycle of punches.”
I aim for his padded hands. When his hand sweeps towards me I duck and step back. We continue until I’ve completed sixty punches and then I stop pressing my toe against his. “Keep going Holli. Focus on me. You move when I move.” I’m not allowed to look at my feet. My eyes are locked on his as we do the next round of combos. At the end, I’m a sweaty, panting mess, but the workout helped silence the thoughts in my head. I lean over gasping for air, and accidentally brush my shoulder against John’s arm, I jerk away as if I’ve been burned. The deluge of thoughts are just as painful as any burn would be. My eyes snap to his and his face contorts into a hardened mask.
“Sorry, it was an accident.” He rubs his arm where I touched it. The S-chips are active so everyone assumes I’m saying sorry for touching him, when the reality is I’m apologizing for reading his mind, even though he doesn’t know I did it.
He presses the button on the remote and the thing that’s already supposed to quell my powers turns off. He motions me forward. “One more round. Anything goes.” He unstraps his pads and I take off my gloves.
His voice is quiet and soft when he asks. “What do you see?” His mind is blank; he’s
keeping me out of his head.
“Why don’t you like me?” I ask while I listen for the softest thought. The one he doesn’t know is there. The barrier falters and I have the opening I need to slip inside his head. What I saw before is nothing like what I’m seeing now.
He doesn’t flinch. “What do you see?”
I see that he’s going to attack. I know it from his stance. “I see you about to do this.” I stoop down and swipe his leg. He falls to the ground pulling me with him and more images flash through my mind. It’s like a movie trailer quick with all the highlight reels. He gets the upper hand pretty quickly pulling out his go to move with my hand pulled behind my back. I block out the pain still listening to the quiet in his mind. The bell sounds and I scramble to my feet and rush past Xander without a word.
I need air and space to sort out what I’m seeing. The room with the camera. I understand that part. But has he really been watching me this whole time? Reporting back to some shadowy faceless person on everything I do? The times I’ve been with Xander. My friends. Alone. All of it. Each time telling whoever, that I don’t belong here, and that they need to find a way to send me away. It makes sense now, why John’s been so focused on me from the beginning. He’s some sort of a spy. Now I need to find out who the shadow is and why they’ve got it out for me.
I’m stepping out of the shower when John’s voice sounds in my head with every version of give up he’s ever said to me. “You should quit now. You don’t belong here. This isn’t the place for you.”
As I’m drifting off to sleep, another memory releases in my brain. Somebody shoves me and I fall backward my butt hitting the ground. A boy with clear blue eyes stands over me his hands clenched into fists at his sides. The hard set of his jaw frightens me.
“Stay down.” He barks.
An older man comes over and puts a hand on the boy’s shoulder. “Come along Jean Luc. It’s time for your evaluation.”
I stand to my feet and make a move to follow but the boy’s voice in my head warns me again, to stay put. I bolt upright in bed. He pushed me over a bracelet. I remember the silver bangle with the ballerina charm I wore at eight. I turned twelve, and dad replaced with a locket. At fourteen earrings. And at sixteen the watch that was damaged my first days here. They were all gifts from my dad and I swore I’d never take them off.
The promise seemed important to him and I’d kept it until now. I retrieve the delicate accessory from my jewelry box turning it over in my hand. I never had problems with my powers until I came here. Why would dad always insist that I keep the gifts on me at all times? I crawl back into bed and hold the watch up to the window to get a better look.
I run my fingers over the front and back of the faceplate and turn it over in my hand. There’s a small notch on the top that I never noticed before. I press my nail under it and watch the glass pop up. It’s there, like I knew it would be. A small chip embedded in the circuitry.
But why would my dad be suppressing my powers? Then I think about Aiden who received similar gifts throughout years. Aiden who didn’t seem to have any powers at all other than our twin-tuition. Aiden who is now showing signs of being a telepath. It now makes sense if his gift was being blocked too. At Palmer Biotech, surrounded by S-chips, no one would have noticed him breaking out.
I focus on the kid. Jean Luc? If the memory is to be believed, he had pale blue eyes. Could he really have grown up to be John with the hardened stare? Even back then, you hated me. Why John? I send the thought out into the night doubtful that he’d ever answer even if he could hear me. I imagine I hear his voice once again warning me. “You don’t belong here.”
Dad was suppressing my powers. What if that’s not all he did? What if he found someone to paranormally hypnotize me to forget that four-year block of time? What could have been so bad that he doesn’t want me to remember?
Easy Holli, you’re acting paranoid like Millicent. Every time my thoughts go to Millicent, I think about the other recruits. Where did they go when they were cut from the program?
There are too many secrets in this place and these flashes of memory and unanswered questions are all pointing to something that makes me uneasy. I’m done just blindly going along with the status quo. Time to break rule seven over and over again. Only this time, I'll be finding answer on my own.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Holli
It’s after hours in the operations building. I grip the after action report close to my chest. It’s my excuse for being here if someone catches me on this floor. I purposely delayed putting it in the inter-office correspondence cart so I’d have a good cover story. Phase three of training has me working simulations observing and assisting field agents in a controlled setting, but there are still places in the main building that are off limits. This corridor is one of them. I scan the corners of the hall and ceiling knowing there are camera’s everywhere. Even though our powers aren’t supposed to work, they still watch us like a hawk.
The chips here are stronger than the ones on the rest of campus so this is one of the few places where I don’t have to fight to keep other people’s thoughts out of my head. Which leads to the question, why the extra juice?
I mentioned it to Chloe, but she dismissed my concerns and Xander told me to do my job and stop stressing. That’s easy for him to say. He’s not the one being overwhelmed with flashes of thoughts and feelings accompanied by debilitating waves of pain whenever I forget to block other peopl’s thoughts. I tried to talk myself out of this. Tried to convince myself that I was overreacting, but its days later and I can’t shake the feeling that there is something more going on here. At Orion as a whole and in this building specifically. I tried to ignore it but one thing kept popping up in everyone’s head since yesterday. Sector G.
I’ve studied the map of this building and it’s not on any of the floor plans, which leads me to believe it’s in one of the sublevels. I don’t for a minute expect to get in, but I’m hoping I can get close enough to the door leading to the wing that would take me there. If I’m close, I might be able to hear someone talking and get an idea of what they’re storing or working on down there.
I’m heading to the back stairs that marks the end of my security access. The door to the stairwell is unlocked but a guard monitors it during business hours. I turn my head straining my ears and hear the low hum of a radio. I guess the door is guarded at night too. It sure would make things easier if the guard had to pee right about now. I hear the chair scraping along the floor and the clink of his keys as he walks down the hall.
Holding my breath so he doesn’t hear me breathing too heavily, I slip past the security station and hide in the alcove next to the janitor’s closet, directly across from the stairway door. The lights in the far end of the hall go off in succession and soon I’m enveloped in darkness. I wait a few more minutes and decide the coast is clear. I walk towards the door and put my hand on the knob having a moment of doubt. What if it’s locked at night? I turn the knob and the door swings open without a sound. Not even a squeak to give me away. I slip through it and climb the steps two at a time. They lead to another hallway that mirrors the one below. I take a few steps and freeze. Was that a sound behind me or am I freaking myself out? Despite this and my previous recon mission and my tendency to ask questions, I’m a rule follower, and this puts me out of my element.
I continue down the hall to the next door. It’s like a nesting game. One door leads to another door that’s bigger than the last. I pick up my pace and stop again. I could swear I heard someone but the hallway behind me is empty. I look left, then right, and then I see it. Another door, labeled sector G. If this were Hollywood, this would be the part of the movie where the protagonist would step through the door and find something amiss. Only to go get help and come back and find it’s cleared out.
Just as I get up the nerve to try the door handle, my work phone buzzes in my back pocket. I think about sending John to voicemail but decide against it. I’m a telepat
h assigned to his telepath team. Who knows what fresh torture he’ll come up with in our next training session. “I’m in the middle if something. Can I call you back?”
“No recruit, you cannot call me back. CR-B in ten minutes.”
Conference Room B is two floors below me. This is going to be a problem. After hours, I should be coming from the dorms and the only way to gain access to this operations center after hours is through the entrance on the other side of the building.
I hurry down the steps hoping the guard is off for the day or on another sweep of the building. I peer through the window and see the desk is empty. I push through the door and jump when it closes behind me with a soft click. I dash down the hall to the other set of stairs that will take me to the correct floor. The hall is empty when I push through the stairwell door. I slow my speed catching my breath, trying to play it cool, hoping no one notices me coming from the wrong direction. The lights are out and I breathe a sigh of relief. I’m the first one here.
Xander, Alex and John step through the door as I’m settling into a seat. “Somebody’s looking for extra points.” Alex snarks. I go back and forth between which instructors or training officers I like least. She and John are always vying for first place.
John narrows his eyes at me. “Where’d you come from?” They entered the room seconds behind me so there’s no way I can lie and say I came through the side door. I try to come up with a plausible answer and remember the brief that I’m still holding. I raise it higher. “I was behind on putting this together and was still here.”
“This whole time?”
It’s an hour later than I should have left. “I was just about to drop it in the report slot when you called.”
The rest of the team trickles in preventing him from asking any more questions.
