by A. A LEVINE
Maybe for everyone else this could still be true, but I’m an anomaly. I wanted this internship because I was conditioned to think that this is where I belong. Now, I want out.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Holli
Our final endurance trial is just two weeks away. Every mark on the calendar is a reminder that I have a choice to make. It would be naïve of me to think the second semester gets easier. The training officer’s themselves have said that each semester things get more intense and I’ve already gotten a taste of just how amped up it can be.
I’ve heard the whispers, operations is worried that something’s going on with me, because I’ve been unfocused and detached during our briefs. Mrs. Price has had to warn me more than once that the rules for the final endurance trial are the same as before. If I don’t perform well, I’m out.
Before I get to that night I have some preliminary training to get through. I’m in a tough position, because I’ve finally figured out what these tests are designed to do. They’re testing telepaths for latent abilities. Hoping the stress will trigger a secondary response. Orion’s secretly looking for a younger generation of telepaths that can push. The older ones will need to retire soon, because the strain is wearing their bodies down. Younger bodies means more testing and influence. I’m like the goose who can lay golden eggs and I refuse to give them what they want.
If I fail the endurance trial, best-case scenario is, they’ll strip me of my powers. Worst-case scenario is I’ll become a lab rat. If I stay on track with everyone else, I’ll be helping them capture Breakouts and forcing them into this life. Now that I know what’s going on, how do I live with that on my conscious? I’m a high school junior. Aren’t I too young to have the fate of a species on my hands?
I look around the cafeteria. Everyone’s excited that we’re coming up on the end of this semester. It’s because they don’t know what I do, that when we go out into the field, rejection of The Institutes offer yields disastrous, sometimes deadly results.
I ignore Xander’s warning about hitchhiking on any more missions. I’ve been on three more paranormal roundups since the night we talked. I figure it’s my duty to see what’s happening, since I’m the one responsible for them being on Orion’s radar to begin with.
The younger kids are taken from their homes, sometimes against their parent’s wishes, and brought to a Palmer Biotech facility where they’re watched and studied from day one. The stronger, older breakouts come straight to the Orion compound for testing or training. The ones that are brave enough to say no, are captured and have their powers stripped.
I don’t know if they can sense my presence, but I don’t want them to have to go through it alone, so I stay and I watch. It’s a painful process, even more so if you fight it. Whether they submit to the needle voluntarily or are given it by force, the result is the same. When a breaker loses their power, something in them dies. I can see in their eyes when their flame goes out. I almost wish they’d all refuse to be captured, and secretly hope they’d put up a fight. But I know all too well that would get them killed. There’s not a Psy-3 ability that makes us bulletproof. No matter how P-Biotech classifies us, we’re still human.
I’m desperate for advice. Honest advice, but the only person I trust is Aiden and I can’t bring him into this. His telepathy is still under wraps and I’m trying to keep it that way. That’s why I’m here knocking on John’s door. He’s been trying to convince me to quit since day one and now, I’m ready to listen. I’m hoping he has a way out.
He answers the door, wearing workout clothes. I picked this time of day, because I know he goes to the gym when everyone else is at dinner. The halls are empty so nobody will see me walking into his room. If he lets me in. He takes one look at me and scowls. “Xander’s room is two doors down. Though it’s a little early for cuddle time don’t you think?”
I ignore the comment about my relationship. He already makes enough jokes at my expense. I choke out the words that sound strange to my own ears. “I’m looking for you.” I take a deep breath before continuing. “I wanted to talk to you about the last endurance trial.”
“Xander not very helpful, huh? Well, cozying up to me won’t help you on the last test either.” His voice is dripping with disinterest but his eyes do a quick scan of my body. I’m over stressed and have been trying to desensitize myself to everything around me. That has to be why I feel less grossed out than I should.
“Give me some credit. I’m not looking for secrets on how to pass the test.” I look around the hall wishing he’d let me in. I don’t want anyone to see me loitering around here. “I had a question about what happens if a recruit misses it?”
He leans against the doorframe enjoying my discomfort, and shrugs. “Nobody misses it.”
“Okay, but what if they get sick or hurt?”
“Malingering to avoid the test is a serious offense and accusation turtle. Do you have information that would suggest that someone’s planning to do that?”
“It’s a hypothetical question.”
He gives me the look you give when people say asking for a friend. “Hypothetically, the last endurance trial determines where you place next semester. There are limited spots in the field training area, some go to Intel, and anyplace else that needs an internship position filled. Sometimes people need remediation so they’ll go back to-day one and start all over again. One thing is for certain you can’t get placed if you don’t show up.”
“So they go home.” I ask; everything in me clinging to that hope. His Nordic ice-blue eyes hold me captive. The glint in them is as hard as ever as he eradicates that hope.
“Holli. For any breakout that crosses the gates to come onto the Orion compound. This is home.”
That’s not what I want to hear. That there’s no way out. This can’t be my life. I can’t be a telepathic breakout herder. All those people. How many places did Chloe say was like this? With campuses all over the world, the New York division is just a small cog in the machine. We all do our part, the orientation brief said. Well, my part sucks. I feel the hopelessness setting in and my shoulders slump in defeat. “Sorry to bother you.”
There are too many thoughts and ideas running through my head and not all of them are mine. It’s like someone turned on a faucet and I can see and hear everyone at the same time. Their pain and worry and fear is palpable .
When I close my eyes, my dreams are disjointed.
For any breakout that crosses the gates. This is home. You’re special. You don’t belong here. You have an amazing gift. Most people’s gifts increase. It appears the cold she contracted during vacation affected the additional marker. Perhaps the virus triggered a white blood cell that attacked the mutation that was forming.
I give up on sleep and sit up in bed staring out the window trying to come up with an answer. I could take the risk of missing the trials. But what about everyone else? What about the people they’ll hunt? Who’s going to protect them?
I hear Aiden’s voice as my subconscious, for the first time in a long time. If he were here, he'd say It’s risky, Holli, and he'd be right. I might not be able to pull it off. But, what if I could?
Xander
Holli’s been distant since the day she accidentally went on a mission. I’ve spoken with her advisor and she insists she hasn’t noticed a change in her behavior. She says Holli has more control over her gift then when the lessons first started and Operations has been thrilled with her progress.
I've stand by my decision not to disclose what happened, because the debrief might negatively impact her ability to do well in these final weeks. Everything Holli does from here on out goes towards her scoring at the final endurance trials. She needs to be ready.
It’s the last family day before winter break. I skip the gathering in the cafeteria and find Holli at our spot. I had hoped her family would show today to help revitalize her spirit. That youthful exuberance and wonder she had when she first came here has been slowly snuffed
out. I didn’t think it possible, but she’s asking fewer questions too.
Our most valuable agents are singularly focused. Cold and efficient. I can see Holli slowly transitioning to the mindset of an Orion Agent. I think the absence of her family sped her along this path and I can’t help but wonder if Operations has been intentionally keeping them apart.
This wouldn’t be the first time they’ve gone to such lengths to build the perfect agent. I think about John. The guy is like a brother to me. He was here when I arrived and had been training for years with no contact from his family. Maybe he’d be a different person if there was someone to care for him in the beginning. I want to be that anchor for Holli now.
“I thought I’d find you here.”
“How goes it at the family reunion?” She jokes, trying to put a positive spin on being forgotten again.
“I’m sorry they didn’t show.”
“Don’t be. I’m used to it by now.” She stares out over the water. “It’s for the best. I wouldn’t be able to focus on anything else if I’m a blubbering mess for the rest of the week.”
We can’t talk about what’s coming up but try to get a general idea of how she’s feeling. “How’s training going?”
“Great. I know this week’s scenarios will be a little harder, but I think I’ll get a high C or low B.” She cracks a genuine smile. “Then it’s straight A’s on my actual high school classes so I’m definitely not worried about that.”
I slip my arms around her from behind. “Neither am I.” I steer the conversation towards something we’ve been dancing around for weeks now. “Your birthday is coming up.”
“No. It’s not. Its months away.”
“One of those months you’ll be home on vacation. Then the new semester starts and before we know it, it will be your birthday. And since it’s not a leap year, you get to choose which day you celebrate.”
“I’ve seen what happens for birthday’s around here. Absolutely nothing. So let’s not make a big deal about it.”
She’s right. Birthdays aren’t that big a deal unless yours falls around family day. “Let’s pretend I want to do something special for you. What would you choose?”
“Nothing. A happy birthday wish is enough.”
I give her a little squeeze. “Come on. Just dream a little. What would you want?”
She leans her head back and I place a kiss on her cheek. “Maybe a birthday cupcake, and a phone call.”
“To Aiden?”
She hesitates before answering. “Yes.” There’s a tremor in her voice and I suspect she’s not telling me the truth.
◆◆◆
Holli gives me a funny look when I sit next to her at dinner. “What are you doing?” She asks looking around to see if anyone’s watching us.
“I’m sorry, was this seat taken?”
“No. But you don’t usually sit with me for meals.”
“I know. I was catching up on paperwork, and John and Alex have finished eating, so I figured why not eat with my girl.”
Her eyes light up and she smiles, shyly tucking her flyway strand of hair behind her ear.
“You, know, next semester when I’m not your TO any more, we’ll get to spend a lot more time together out in the open.”
“When you’re not my TO, or when I’m officially seventeen?”
“Since when does our age difference bother you?”
She purses her lips. “It doesn’t, but I’m wondering if it’s bothering you?”
There are aspects of it I’ve been struggling with, but now is not the time to admit that to her. “We’re good Holli, there’s no rush to be anything or do anything.”
I watch her for a moment and I can’t shake the feeling she’s hiding something. “Holli-,”
She cuts me off. “You know when you asked me who I’d call if I could on my birthday?”
I nod, remembering last weeks conversation. “You said Aiden.”
“That’s not true. You said Aiden, and I agreed.” She chews thoughtfully on a piece of lettuce. “But if I could make a call, it wouldn’t be to him. It would be to my mom.”
“You never talk about her, so I assumed...”
“I know. I don’t talk about her, because I can’t. It’s been almost nine months since the last time I heard from her, so what could I say?” She shrugs. “So if I could call anyone it would be my mom.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Holli
This is it. Weeks of training have all come down to this moment. I study each face in the back of the van wondering what’s going through their minds, and I think back to the first day of school when we left the auditorium. We were all so hopeful, so excited to come to Orion, thinking we’d be elevated to some higher status. We all thought we’d be doing good, doing more to help our kind. My classmates still believe that, and I wish once again, that I could have that innocence back. That I could I still believe it too.
The van’s windows are blacked out, so we can’t see where we’re going, because we haven’t earned that privilege yet. The students think we’re going to an offsite facility. But, I don’t need to see outside. I already know the roads we’re taking and the houses we’ll be visiting on this evening’s roundup. Twenty-six vans. Six different locations. This is one of the largest sweeps Orion has ever done in one night, and it’s because of me. I couldn’t refuse to comply with what they’d asked. They would have known, that I was no longer drinking the Kool-Aid of ignorance.
Final test means more instructor shake-ups. Xander and Alex are riding with different teams, but we’ve got John in the van with us. He adjusts his earpiece and locks the screen on his tablet, shoving it in the inside pocket of his vest. “This is your final endurance trial. The last hurdle for deciding if you’re moving on to the next phase of training or if your time at Orion is coming to an end. You should know, anyone who doesn’t make it through tonight’s test, will go before the review panel; and they will make the decision on where you’ll be next semester.”
We all focus our attention on him, and a few of my classmates shift nervously in their seats. I’m not nervous. I can’t be. I know how important tonight is. There’s a lot riding on the success of this trial and the outcome will affect me for the rest of my life.
“You should know, that this simulation is as realistic as it gets and nobody will be holding back. We treat this as a real world application of the self-defense skills you’ve been learning. Work as a team. Watch each other’s backs and keep your eyes open. Some of these breakouts are young, but some may be older and stronger than you. They’ve been using their gifts without supervision or training, which means they’re unpredictable. I don’t have to tell any of you that unpredictable gifts are dangerous.”
He looks at each of us. “Once we’re in range, the suppression chips go on. Remember, they have a long-range pulse of twenty feet. Keep the breakouts within range and this will be over before you know it. If they make it out of the barrier, you are free to use your gift at the field agent’s discretion. Trust your training. Good luck.”
The vehicle pulls to a stop and we climb out the back one at a time. I watch as my team takes up formation, and I go to stand beside Shane. We walk towards the abandoned warehouse where the breakouts are hiding. The bogus training brief Orion made us study, says the breakouts living here are threatening a cyber attack on a television studio in order to reveal our existence to the world, and that we should consider them rogue and dangerous. I can hear their thoughts before we cross the street. I can see what they see. They know we’re coming and they’re afraid. They should be.
The first team reaches the door, and John pushes the button to active the S-chips, suppressing everyone’s abilities. The door is forced open and the people inside scamper for the exits. My classmates move quickly to subdue them. I climb the stairs to the second floor. The corridor at the top of the steps is littered with debris. I hear a noise and see a streak of fabric. I groan in exasperation. Of course I have a runner. I ch
ase the person heading towards the room on my left, following him down the darkened hall and out to the fire escape that leads to the roof. I regurgitate the script I’ve been taught. I know this is real, but I have to play along because people are watching. “There’s nowhere to go.” I yell trying to drown out the noises in my head. “Come in peacefully. We’re here to help.”
He steps closer to the edge and I move towards him. He’s a kinetic and thinking about how long it will take to readjust the fire escape to catch his fall. “You’ll never make that jump.” I warn. “Even if you have before, you won’t tonight. Your ability is being muted. You won’t be able to move that fire escape in time to catch you.”
I hold my hands out in front of me in a non-threatening manner. “Please. Trust me. I’m here to help you.” I keep spouting the lie. Orion’s lie. He rushes at me and I duck out of the way before his body can slam me to the ground. I keep my hands where he can see them. Recruits don’t have guns. I’m grateful for that. I’m nowhere near prepared to take this to the point where I’d have to aim it at him. We can’t kill, but we can maim and injure. I’m up here alone so there are no trigger-happy agents with me either. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
