by Sarah N. Ham
My vision turned red as I yanked on my boxers and pants in a swift movement, growling, “I’m going to kill him!”
“Michael, calm down!” Maybelle cried.
“No, that creep has been trying literally every trick in the book to thwart our marriage and get in your pants. He’s tried stalking, flattery, sexual harassment, blackmail, and now, he’s gotten our folks involved. This has got to stop! He almost killed you, too.”
“I know, Michael, but you beating the cr*p out of him won’t work! You’ve already done that, and he still came back!”
“Wait, what does Michael mean that he tried to kill you?” Mr. Lloyd yelped.
“He wasn’t trying to kill me. He shoved a piece of chocolate in my mouth to shut me up, but he didn’t know I was allergic…” Maybelle explained.
“Wait, this is that young man!?” Her dad yelped.
“Yeah, the boy’s a freak!” I growled.
“Michael…” Dad warned.
“Look, no, he is, Dad! To make me jealous, he’s stolen a kiss from her twice. He’s already made it very clear that he wants to have sex with her. He made her meet him once a week for seven-and-a-half months, threatening to tell you guys about us if she didn’t and claiming it was ‘marriage counseling’! He’s shown up at the house twice, and I know that until this is dealt with, he’s not going to stop!” I growled.
“Fine, fine, but will you let me deal with this before you end up with aggravated assault charges that keep you from Vanderbilt!?” Dad begged.
I sighed but nodded, sitting down on the bed. Then, I turned to Mr. Lloyd, and said, “Sir, I’m sorry that we went behind your back, but I’ve asked Maybelle to marry me… for real this time. She deserves a proper wedding, but I don’t want her to feel like she has to pick between her family and me. I’m humbling asking you right now for your blessing. May I marry your daughter?” I asked.
Her father grumbled, “You already have my signature on that stupid paper; what more do you want from me?”
“For you to give her to me… I have never, ever desired to pry her from your hands, Sir.”
He looked stunned, but after a moment, he sighed, whispering, “Do you love her truly?”
“More than anyone!”
“Will you honor her and support her with your life?” He asked.
“Yes, till the day I die!” I insisted.
He looked over at Maybelle and asked, “Do you love him truly?”
“Yes, Dad. I would never have made love to him or agreed to stay his wife, otherwise.” She exclaimed.
“Then… fine… fine, Michael, you have my blessing.” Her father said, softening.
“Thank you so much, Sir!” I exclaimed before confessing, “Oh… and by the way, it was Mom who sent in the license…”
Everyone, including Maybelle, looked stunned. Mr. Lloyd suddenly broke out in laughter, saying, “That clever minx was always smarter than us, even in her final days…Jeez, all of this is crazy. We thought we had thought of such a clever plan to trick her, everything to the wedding attire to the justice of the peace approving it, and yet, she managed to outsmart us in the end.”
“Dad, I’m sorry that we hurt you and hid all this. We just didn’t want you to keep us from each other.” Maybelle whimpered.
“Shh, shh, it’s okay.” He whispered, hugging her close, “I know, and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, everyone; I was vile in my actions. And Sally, I’m so sorry for what I said to you. I don’t ever want you to divorce me or hate me.”
“I know, Dear, and I forgive you.” Mrs. Lloyd whispered, hugging Maybelle and him.
I let out a sigh of relief and pulled out the letter from Mom, saying, “Do you guys want to see the photos again… Mom put them in this envelope along with her engagement ring.”
Everyone smiled at the letter gently, and after Maybelle and I got dressed, we sat in the living room, looking at the photos and thinking back on good memories both with mom and after her passing. What had started as a disastrous event that could have divided to family become one of unifying us.
***
Later, Dad and the Lloyds confronted the McCarthys. When his mother heard about what her son had been doing, she was in tears and made him promise never to treat Maybelle like that again. She told him to honor our desire to be faithful to each other by backing off. I didn’t think this would make any difference, but as his mom begged him in tears, he looked genuinely guilty. He made the promise and even apologized to us.
“Hey, Drake Parker, wait!” I called.
He seemed surprised, saying, “That’s a first… you usually call my name wrong.”
“Yeah… I may have been exaggerating that a tad. Anyway, I just want to say… I get it. Maybelle is amazing! Why do you think I’ve been in love with her for so long? But I’m sure God’s got someone perfect for you that you won’t have to possess to keep with you. I’m not gonna tell you how to live your life, but I know that if you show women respect, they hold that dear over a jerk who sees them as property.”
He chuckled but nodded, saying, “Yeah, I know.”
“And I know you had ulterior motives for meeting with Maybelle, but I will say this… your advice actually helped us a lot. So, thank you.” I muttered.
He was surprised but nodded.
“Maybe you’ve got a future in counseling.” Maybelle suggested.
He laughed, saying, “I’m too messed up for that, but thanks… I’ll think about it.”
With this last statement, we left.
Chapter Nineteen – Who Gives This Bride?
I have several recollections of it, that day, September 15th, 2016. To some, it was just four days after the 15th Anniversary of 9/11. To some, it was a Thursday, just a few days shy of the promised weekend, but that didn’t matter to me. I have several recollections of this date because it did matter to me; to some, it wasn’t important, and yet, it was one of the most important days of my life…
“Mom, where are my gloves? I can’t seem to find them!”
“They’re over here, Sweetie.”
I followed her hand to where it was pointing and found the items tucked under a necklace case.
“Thanks, Mom.” I said, yanking the ivory gloves on my hands.
With everything in place, Mom admired me with tears in her eyes, “Michael’s gonna faint; you’re so beautiful!”
“Mom…” I grumbled, giggling.
“Don’t act so modest! I told you that you’re gorgeous!” Naomi butted in.
“Just because I have my hair, nails, and makeup done!” I whined.
“Don’t give me that, Mrs. Insecure! You’re going to knock his socks off.”
“Thanks, Naomi.” I said, hugging my best friend. “Alright, I’m ready…”
The music played as Naomi, my cousin, Cindy, and Michael’s cousin, Dylan filed in. I laughed from my vantage point as I watched Cindy throw the pedals on Dylan rather than aisle to his annoyance.
Finally, the music shifted. I took Dad’s arm, and he whispered, “You look beautiful, Maybelle.”
“Thanks, Daddy…” I whispered, trying not to get choked up.
Then, the door opened. I walked towards him, and as our eyes met, I felt light tears drift down my face. He looked both in awe but also, joyful. Everything we had ever gone through was worth it in that one moment as my husband looked at me so lovingly.
My dad gave me away, and then, the pastor performed the ceremony. It felt so touching to do this, even if it wasn’t the first wedding. This time, at least, I had something to look back on. Then, Pastor Scott turned to us and said, “The couple has written their own vows.”
He went first saying, “Maybelle, you are the love of my life. It was 15 years ago on this day that I made these vows to you, but I was too young to understand the importance they held. You have been there for me through every phase of life from my first steps to my mother’s death to my shortcomings and finally, to the moment you said you wanted to stay my wife. Through them al
l, I’ve become a better man because of it, because of you. I can’t imagine a day without you in my life, and I pray I never will. I love you so much and want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
I smiled brightly at him before the pastor turned to me, saying it was my turn.
“Michael, you mean the world to me. When I was told that you were my husband, I was shocked but secretly happy. I never wanted anything the way I, at that moment, wanted to be your wife. You have loved me through my temper, my flaws, but most of all, my ignorance as you patiently waited for me to catch up to your feelings. You have shown me more love and respect than I could ever dream, and I love you so much for that. I pray I can be a godly wife for you and mother of your child. Most of all, I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
He smiled but looked a little confused by my mention of children until he shyly asked, “W-wait, are you—.”
“Yes… you’re gonna be a daddy!” I confessed.
His eyes widened as did his grin, and he laughed with joy as the rest of the attendees clapped. He picked me up and twirled me around as the pastor asked if he would take me as his bride again.
He exclaimed joyfully, “Oh, yes, I certainly will!”
I smiled down at Michael as he held me bridal-style, and the pastor repeated the question to me. I said, “Yes, I will!”
Michael wouldn’t even put me down at the exchanging of the rings, which made it a bit goofy, but finally, Pastor Scott said, “I now—once again—pronounce you man and wife; you may kiss the bride.”
I leaned down to meet his lips in a chaste yet passionate kiss. The guest clapped, and he finally let me down.
***
That night at the reception, we had a blast. We ate cake, toasted with sparkling cider, and danced. We stuffed ourselves on delicious Japanese from Suzuno’s. I threw my bouquet, and he threw my garter. Drake Parker caught the garter, and of all people, my little five-year-old flower girl caught the bouquet. So to be a good sport, the native Alaskan danced with her at the next song. It was adorable.
Finally, around two in the morning, we headed to our condo to spend our more official first night together. It was wonderful, and afterwards as I lay in his arms, he placed his hand on my stomach, saying, “Hi, little one, it’s your daddy! I can’t wait to meet you.”
I stroked his hair as he began serenading our future little one. Nothing could ruin that night, and it was the best wedding/15th anniversary in the whole world.
***
Almost nine months later, we were into our second year at Vanderbilt. Michael was so talented in his musical composition program, while I had gained a new desire in social work.
After almost 13 hours in labor, we were so happy to welcome to the world Ford Asher Hawkins on May 10th, 2017. He was eight lbs., nine oz. and 19 inches long. He was the most beautiful thing we had ever laid our eyes on, and we thanked God above for him.
A few months later, however, we were surprised to find that I was pregnant with a second child. We began to wonder how we were going to finish college with the second little one, but we knew God would see us through. By the time that I was twenty-two weeks pregnant, we had discovered it was going to be another boy. We were so happy and were thinking about names. I wanted to name him Henry after Michael’s father, but Michael wanted to name him Anthony after my father.
However, I started to notice around this time that I was starting to have pain my lower abdomen. Then, I noticed discoloration on my inner thigh and pelvis. The last scary thing that started happening was spotting. We finally decided to see the doctor. I was scared as he did the ultrasound and some tests because he wouldn’t let me see our baby. It took hours, and then, he finally sat Michael and me down.
“Mrs. Hawkins… there is no easy way to say this, but you have stage two cervical cancer.”
My eyes widened in shock, while Michael had a look of pure horror. I recognized the look in his eyes and mentally screamed, ‘God, please, don’t make me do this to him!’
Chapter Twenty – Till Death Do Us Part…
The minute the doctor gave the diagnosis, the air evaporated from my lungs as tears threatened to break free. ‘No! No, no, no! God, please, you already took Mom; please, I beg of you, don’t take Maybelle!’ I mentally begged Him.
“The good news is we caught it relatively early, and we think with a hysterectomy and some minor radiation treatment, you should be fine.” The doctor explained.
I felt some of the air return until I realized what he’d just said. Maybelle caught on, too and cried out, “No, you can’t take my womb!”
“Mrs. Hawkins, your chances drastically decrease if we don’t.”
“But you’d take Henry with it! I will not choose between my life and my child’s!” She yelped, tears flowing down her face at this point.
“Maybelle, please, I know this is difficult, but I don’t want to lose both of you!” I said, knowing it was selfish but too scared to care.
Suddenly, the doctor hushed us both and said, “Mrs. Hawkins, I’m afraid you won’t have to make that decision.”
“What, why!?” She asked in a panic.
He sighed, causing her to ask again more frantically, so he explained, “The child has passed. He has no heartbeat, no brain activity, and overall, no sign of life… However, your body will not naturally release him like a miscarriage. I suggest you allow us to induce labor now, so it’ll be easier on your body.”
She let out a loud, miserable cry and clutched her stomach as she sobbed. I pulled her into my arms as she sobbed into my chest, saying, “I’m so sorry, Michael. I wasn’t strong enough to hold him. Henry, I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!”
I tried my best to hold it together for her, but a few pesky tears still escaped. You couldn’t blame me, though. First, I learned that the love of my life had cancer, and then, I learned that my son was stillborn. It broke my heart.
Still, I knew she was hurting even more. I told her that it was okay and that it wasn’t her fault, but she whined, “You will not take my womb! If you do, I can never give Michael another child!”
“Maybelle, it’s okay. We’ve already been so blessed with Ford…” I insisted.
“No, Michael, it’s not fair! You’ve done everything for me, and now, I can’t even give you another child!?” She shouted, sobbing.
I pulled her face up and kissed her lips, saying, “Maybelle, I told you that for better or for worse, we would stay together! How can we keep that vow if you leave me!? I… I can’t lose you, too. You mean the world to me, and we can always look into other options…”
“Other options…?”
“Wh-what if we adopted?” I tried.
She seemed so overwhelmed, but she slowly nodded, saying, “I want a second opinion, but if it comes back the same, we’ll go forward with the hysterectomy. I can’t put Michael through this again. He already lost his mother, aunt, and grandmother to breast cancer…”
“Should we go ahead and remove the child now? Otherwise, you may face a far more invasive labor that could hurt you immensely or even kill you.”
She nodded slowly, and I promised that I’d be there with her.
Once it was done, we had a little being to attend to, and it was heartbreaking. We decided to bury the child in the same cemetery that Mom’s urn had been buried. We mourned the loss of Henry, but with a second confirmation of the doctor’s diagnosis, we scheduled the surgery.
It wasn’t too long of a surgery, but it hurt, worrying in that waiting room with our family. Finally, the doctor came in and said, “The surgery was a success, and the good news is it looks like we were able to catch all the large spots of cancer before it spread. We’ll test her again in a week, but if she tests negative, radiation may be reduced or not even be necessary.”
“Thank you, Dr. Peters…” I said, shaking his hand.
***
When she came home, I tried my best to be the best nurse I could. I took a few weeks off from work and school to make sur
e she was okay. She physically healed remarkably fast and with some small amounts of radiation therapy and medication, she was diagnosed cancer-free, but she was different. It was as if the life had been sucked from her eyes, even when she’d hold little Ford. She’d try to save face for Ford and me, but I knew her too well to fall for it.
As time went by, she started to get livelier, but every time she’d see a mother with her baby, the look would return. It was the day that I came home to a pile of broken wood from Henry’s crib, torn up onesies, and marked up baby blankets while she sat in the bedroom just holding Ford and crying, that I knew I needed to do something.
I took her aside and reminded her of how much I loved her. I told her that no matter what, I would always love her. Then, I asked her if she felt comfortable starting the adoption process. She nodded in tears, and I made love to her to remind her that she was still the beautiful bride I’d fallen in love with.
As we went through the long process, I saw hope return to her eyes. We went through almost a year’s worth of counseling, social worker meetings, testing, etc. I thought it would never end. Then, there they were. We got little twins, Dimitri and Floraliece. They were infants whose mother wasn’t in a financial place to raise them. The father was unknown, and she had had no other living relatives. They were beautiful, and I knew from the moment that they were handed to us that they were ours, regardless of anything blood said.
It wasn’t always easy, especially as our three children got older. They were so inquisitive, so we decided to be forward with them from the get-go. They didn’t quite get it at first, but their love for us never changed.
As they grew, they faced lots of friends with questions like “Why don’t you look like your Mom and Dad?” or “How could your folks be married 25 years? They’re not even 30 years old?” The best one was when they were five and a classmate asked us if we got married when we were born.
Still, it was okay because even if we were a bit odd, we weren’t absent of love or God, the most important elements in a family. It was with these two that we got through troubles and trials, and through it all, we were a family united.
