by Elena Aitken
“Maybe.” Sunshine took another bite of cornbread. It was delicious.
“I hope when Sunshine gets pregnant, she gets a similar rush,” Cole said as he helped himself to another serving of chili.
Sunshine snapped her head around to stare at him. “Two days ago you said you didn’t want kids,” she said dryly.
“What? I never said that,” he lied. He knew exactly what she meant, but it wasn’t fair for her to bring it up like that. He’d said what he’d said in the heat of the moment. Maybe Sunshine didn’t realize that, though.
Sunshine looked like she’d say more, but instead she changed the subject. Cole hoped she hadn’t taken his hasty words to heart. He’d always wanted to be a dad. He just figured they’d sort out the details after they were married.
Halfway through dessert Sunshine’s cell phone rang. To Cole’s surprise, she put a hand in her pocket and turned off the ringer without answering it.
“Aren’t you going to get that?”
“Not at dinner.”
“Oh, don’t worry about us. We’re not formal,” Bella said. “By the way, Cab Johnson called. He and Rose would love to put you folks up tomorrow night. He sounded put out you hadn’t stopped by to see him yet, Cole.”
“I’ll call him right after dinner. Why don’t you get that call, honey,” he said to Sunshine. “It could be your folks.” He was beginning to feel guilty that he hadn’t suggested they spend Christmas with Sunshine’s family. He knew she missed them. He felt bad he hadn’t gone to see Cab, either. He was letting too much slide.
Sunshine bit her lip, pulled out the phone and looked at the screen. She got up from her seat before answering it, and left the room.
Cole frowned. Was it his imagination or was she acting secretive? He’d bet anything that wasn’t her parents who’d called. Without meaning to, he stood up too and followed her without an explanation to their hosts. Something about Sunshine’s manner triggered all his instincts. She was hiding something.
And it wasn’t a rock band.
“I haven’t made up my mind yet,” he heard her say in a low voice when he got close to the billiard room Sunshine had disappeared into. “I don’t know. I said I don’t know.” She broke off and listened. “Because I have a lot to think over. Until I’m sure, I can’t answer you.” Another pause. “Look, that’s all I’m willing to say right now. I know you’re in a hurry. I—” She sighed. “Believe me, I know exactly how you feel. I’m right there with you.” She waited a beat. “Okay, I’ll call you tomorrow if I can. Bye.”
Cole hurried back to the table before Sunshine did, sat down and spooned a forkful of food into his mouth. Neither Evan nor Bella seemed to think anything was amiss and no one commented on the call when Sunshine returned. Meanwhile, Cole’s thoughts were in turmoil.
Who the hell was she talking to?
Had she met another man?
The evening passed at a crawl and though he could tell he would have enjoyed Evan and Bella’s company at any other time, the wait until bedtime was almost unbearable. Cole held it together until he and Sunshine crawled into bed, but when he opened his mouth to question her, she beat him to it.
“Did you ever think about having a dog?”
A dog? Who cared about dogs? “Of course,” he ground out. “I love dogs. So who—”
“What kind would you want to get?”
“I don’t know. A mutt? Look, Sunshine—”
“What kind of mutt?”
“Any kind!” Cole turned over. “Some big, yellow dog.”
“Yellow dog?” She sounded interested.
Cole couldn’t believe they were having this conversation. Why was she suddenly so obsessed with dogs? “Yellow dogs are happy dogs. Haven’t you noticed?” This wasn’t what he wanted to talk about. He needed to confront her. She’d been talking with some stranger, telling him she didn’t know—
Cole broke off. She didn’t know… what kind of dog to get him?
Was this his Christmas surprise?
He relaxed back into the pillows and almost laughed out loud. No wonder the women looked so damn guilty. They must have been working on his Christmas present. After all, wasn’t that exactly what he and his friends were doing? He’d psyched himself out thinking it was something more complicated, but Sunshine hadn’t ever had a dog. Maybe she’d gotten her friends together to help her choose one. Maybe they were taking turns caring for it so he wouldn’t know. That would explain a lot of things.
“I have noticed that,” Sunshine said. “I like yellow dogs, too.”
Was she smiling? It sounded like it, but he couldn’t see. Relief flooded Cole. Sunshine wasn’t cheating on him.
Thank God.
“Cole,” she said suddenly. “Did you mean that about children? Do you really want a family? Because I didn’t think you did.”
He wanted to pull her into a hug. “Yeah, I want a family. Soon. First we need a house, though. I need a job, too. I want to make sure we can do this right.” They were treading on shaky ground now, though. He couldn’t talk about this stuff without talking about the wedding. That was supposed to be a conversation for Christmas morning. “Like you said before, let’s not talk about anything serious until after the holidays.”
When she spoke again her voice had gone flat. “Fine with me.”
“Hey—”
“You’re right; it’s no big deal. We’ll talk about it some other time.”
He propped himself up on one elbow, torn about what to do. He had a whole plan for making Christmas morning special, and if he broached marriage now, it would ruin it. “Sunshine, you know I love you, don’t you?”
“I guess.” She didn’t sound convinced.
“You guess?”
“I don’t know. I don’t feel like we’re on the same page these days.”
Alarmed, Cole sat upright. “What page are you on?”
She sat up too. “It’s more like what page have you traipsed onto?”
“I haven’t traipsed anywhere.”
“Are you sure you haven’t traipsed all over Fran?”
Cole snorted. “Is that what this is about? Fran? That was a hundred years ago. So I slept with her a few times—”
“A few hundred times.”
“You weren’t a virgin when I met you.” Cole clamped his mouth shut. Hell. That wasn’t going to go over well.
“Are you calling me a slut?” Sunshine scrambled away from him.
“No. Damn it, you know that’s not what I—”
She crawled right out of the bed. “Good night, Cole.”
“Wait. Sunshine, where are you going? I never said you were a slut—I just said you slept around—”
A pillow whacked him in the face. Cole wasn’t sure how Sunshine had managed that. “Very mature.”
Sunshine didn’t answer. A second later she left the room. Cole ran a hand through his hair and swore. He was just about to pursue her when the door opened again and she came back in.
“I’m not sleeping on a stupid couch, and I don’t want to talk any more, you hear?”
“But—”
“One more word and you can go sleep downstairs.”
He didn’t want to do that and they obviously weren’t going to work this out tonight. Cole gave in. It was all this moving around, he told himself as he flopped back down on the mattress. Sunshine climbed back in the bed beside him. As soon as Christmas was over he was going to find them a house if it was the last thing he did. Twenty minutes later, Sunshine’s even breathing told him she’d fallen asleep.
He wished he could find that oblivion.
The morning found them packing their bags again to move to Cab and Rose Johnson’s house. They did so in silence, broken only by the shortest questions and answers. Sunshine was beginning to feel like they’d gotten stuck on some kind of ride they couldn’t get off. Their tempers were worn thin; no wonder they couldn’t have a conversation without getting into an argument.
Cole drove her back to
the Cruz ranch and left her on the front porch of the small cabin Cab and Rose inhabited. “I’m meeting Cab in town at the Sheriff’s station,” Cole said. “See you tonight.”
Sunshine knocked on the door and watched him drive away. Part of her knew she was being overly sensitive. Last night she’d interpreted everything Cole had said in the worst possible way. Still, he had said it, and it wasn’t fair. She’d only had a few serious relationships before she met him. She certainly hadn’t slept around.
She liked the looks of Cab and Rose’s homey cottage after the huge log cabin Evan and Bella inhabited, though. Evan and Bella had decorated their place beautifully and their guest bedroom had been to die for, but she relaxed when Rose showed her the small bedroom they would occupy for the night.
“I’m sorry it isn’t fancier,” she said. “We’re getting ready to build a home soon, but it won’t be done for another year at least.”
“I’d be sorry if it was.” Sunshine had had enough of fancy. She wanted to get home. Good thing the ranch house was beginning to shape up, even as her relationship with Cole was crashing to the ground. Sunshine wondered if she would end up living there alone. She couldn’t think of a worse fate.
She’d known Cab from the days of running her café next to Cole’s rifle range. She’d always liked the man’s dry humor and no-nonsense personality. Rose complemented him nicely. She ran the jewelry store in town and she was cheerful and caring. Sunshine wondered if the rumors about her sixth sense were true. Bella had told her Rose could sense whether a couple’s love would stand the test of time when they came into the store and chose an engagement ring. Cole had bought her engagement ring from Thayer, the former owner. He hadn’t been the recipient of any kind of prediction.
Maybe she should be grateful for that.
“I have to open the jewelry store soon. Would you like to come with me and hang out for the morning? I’d love to hear all about your trip. And your rock band,” Rose added with a sly smile. “I’m so jealous, you know. I always wanted to sing in a band.”
Sunshine flashed her a half-hearted grin. She should have known Rose would have heard about the band. “You’re hired! We don’t have a singer yet. Bella and I practiced some guitar earlier this morning. We didn’t sound half bad.”
Actually, Bella had sounded okay. Sunshine had been awful, but after she’d half-memorized the few chords required for the song they’d picked, she’d started to get the hang of it again.
“Awesome. When’s your next practice?”
“This afternoon. Think you can get away for an hour?”
“Maybe.” Rose glanced at the clock. “We’d better get going.” Fifteen minutes later, she unlocked the door to the jewelry store and let Sunshine in. “There are a few things I need to take care of before I open. Make yourself at home.”
Sunshine wandered among the glass cases as Rose performed her chores. Looking at the engagement rings, she remembered the Christmas morning Cole had proposed. It had been the happiest day of her life. Surely there was some way to get back to that feeling.
To divert herself, she said, “I can’t believe you actually bought this place off of old man Thayer.”
“I know. It felt like a miracle at the time. I’ve come a long way since then, though.”
“A lot changed while I was traveling.”
“Hasn’t it? You missed so many weddings. And babies!” As she continued to talk, Rose turned on more lights and began to put things in order for the day. A moment later, the front door opened and a small, dark-haired woman came in.
“Mia, have you met Sunshine?” Rose asked.
“I don’t think so.” The petite woman came to shake her hand. She was youthful, with a long ponytail that swished when she walked.
“Mia married Luke Matheson, Rob’s brother. She has a wedding-planning business. We share the space,” Rose said.
“That sounds like a fun business.” Sunshine perked up, thinking of her own wedding, but then remembered how rocky things were at the moment with Cole.
“It is. Hectic, but fun.” Mia opened the door to a small office to one side of the large room. “This is my headquarters.”
Sunshine peeked in to see a wide desk and shelves of idea books. Every inch of space was in use. It looked more like an artist’s studio than a normal office.
“So tell us about your trip,” Rose said when they came out into the store again.
Sunshine did so, focusing on all the different types of food she’d learned to prepare and how her journey had affected the way she thought about cooking. She tried to forget her argument with Cole, but she found it hard.
“Are you going to write a cookbook now?” Rose asked.
“I hope you took photographs,” Mia said. “That kind of cookbook wouldn’t be complete without them.”
“Cole took tons of them. We haven’t been able to sort through them yet. I need to get into my house first.” Or maybe she needed to sell the house and walk away from everything.
A twinge in her abdomen reminded her she was linked to Cole in a way she couldn’t ignore.
“I heard you bought a ranch. What’s it like?” Rose asked.
Sunshine told them about the ranch and both of the women exclaimed over the plan. “We’ll help any way we can,” Mia told her. “We love that kind of thing.”
It was hard to drum up the necessary enthusiasm. With each passing minute, she felt more and more like she was making a mistake. Carl really wanted the ranch. She had no idea what she wanted these days. Certainly not a relationship filled with lies and distrust.
“Tell her about the band,” Rose said. “I’m going to be lead singer.”
“A band? Can I play drums? I’m awesome at drums!”
“Really?” Sunshine hadn’t expected that.
“Yes, really.” Mia’s ponytail swung for emphasis. “Do you have a drummer already?”
Sunshine made an effort to concentrate. “We don’t even have drums.”
“I can borrow some from a friend. It’s not like she ever plays them,” Mia said confidently.
Well, that was something. “You can store them out at the house. Bella’s bringing our guitars out this afternoon and she’s already ordered a tambourine,” Sunshine said.
“This is going to be so much fun!”
Sunshine was glad someone was enjoying the prospect. She fought against a wave of nausea and braced herself against a glass showcase, willing her stomach to settle down. She pretended to examine the landscapes that decorated one wall of the showroom.
“Rose is an artist,” Mia said, following her gaze. “She’s not just good at painting, either. She’s terrific at layout and design.”
“If you ever want help with your cookbook, just ask. I’d love to help,” Rose said.
“I will.” Sunshine got the upper hand on her wayward stomach. “I would like to write one. I just don’t know where to start.”
“With the recipes, of course.” Rose smiled. “Pick out all your favorites and then tell the story of where and when you learned how to make them.”
Sunshine thought about the naan she’d made in Turkmenistan, the peanut stew she’d made in Ethiopia, and the chili relish she’d made in India. In each case the story revolved around women. Mothers. Mothers cooking for their children and putting all the love and hope and dreams they had for their children’s lives into each dish.
She’d kept journals during her trips and those themes came into play over and over again. If she’d learned one thing, it was that the world over, mothers worried themselves sick over their children. Their greatest cares came from raising them, and their greatest triumphs were experienced through them.
Could she write about that in any way that would make sense to other women?
“You two are so lucky you work together,” she said. She wondered if she’d ever make a friend like that in Chance Creek. When she’d left Chicago, she’d ended up growing apart from the best friend she’d had there. During her time in Chan
ce Creek, she’d gotten somewhat close to Kerri Olsen, who ran a second-hand store in town, but without steady cell phone coverage for the first half of her trip, they’d texted back and forth less and less frequently as the months went by, and she’d lost track of her, too.
Time to give her a call.
Except maybe she’d be leaving again soon.
“We know,” Rose said. “We tell each other that all the time.”
“I think women need to have friends around when they work,” Mia said. “We’re social creatures. We think out loud.”
“I know I do,” Rose said. “I get inspired about something and tell Mia, then she gets inspired and comes up with a better idea, then I riff on that one… We’re better together.”
“Once you’re settled, you can come hang out sometimes. We can put up a table in a corner somewhere and you can write your cookbook.”
“I’d like that.” Another wave of nausea hit her. It was worse today than it had ever been before. Sunshine had hoped she’d sail through this part without being affected much, but that obviously wasn’t going to happen.
“Sunshine? Are you okay?” Rose asked.
“I… I think I’m going to be sick.”
Rose rushed her into the back to a small bathroom, pushed her inside and shut the door behind her. Sunshine dropped to her knees and lost the contents of her stomach in the toilet. She retched until there was nothing left and sagged against the wall. This was awful. Could she really survive a month or two of morning sickness?
When she’d cleaned herself up and came out of the bathroom, she knew immediately both women had guessed her secret.
“You’re pregnant,” Rose said, confirming it.
“Yes.”
“Does Cole know?” Mia asked.
Sunshine shook her head. “It’s supposed to be a surprise.”
Rose surged forward and hugged her. “Congratulations!” Mia quickly followed her.
