by Kim Hornsby
While Jamey sat at the kitchen breakfast nook and gave Mango her bottle, he and Carrie finally had a good talk about the kids. Jade and Jasmine were doing brilliantly. Top marks at school, social favorites, and both excellent athletes. “Bossy and competitive with each other,” Carrie said, “but that’s normal. It’s this little one I’m worried about,” Carrie nodded to the child at her leg. “He needs to branch off a bit.”
Jamey chuckled. “Do you love Mama the best, Wyatt?” Jamey asked the dude who stood with his thumb in his mouth.
Wyatt nodded and Jamey smiled sympathetically. “He loves you, Carrie. I’m sure he’ll detach eventually.” Jamey was the wrong person to ask, seeing his mother had taken off when he was five. A mother’s love was precious to a man like Jamey.
Carrie laid a warm hand on Wyatt’s curly head. “He sleeps with me and Chris. Such a dear little boy. I wish K Man would take a short walk off a long pier. It was better when he was gone.” Carrie used code names around the kids.
Wyatt looked up at his mother. “What Mama?”
“Nothing, sweet boy.” She set the spoon at the side of the stove and bent to speak to her son. “Why don’t you run around with the girls and their friends? They’re playing hide and seek. You love that.”
When Wyatt ran off to follow the beckoning calls from his sisters, Carrie sat with Jamey at the nook. “Kevin is driving me nuts. Too little, too late. He’s asking to take Wyatt away for the weekend with his parents. Kevin’s parents own a place on Cannon Beach.” She blew a strand of red curls from her face and wiped a streak of sweat from her brow.
“Does he have custody rights?” Jamey lifted Mango to his shoulder for a burp, and she obliged immediately.
“We didn’t go to court. I want to be fair and give him time with Wyatt, you know?” She smiled at the baby in Jamey’s arms.
“Do you trust him? And does Wyatt like to spend time with him?”
“He’s okay. And Wyatt is intermittently thrilled to have a father who drives a digger on construction crews.” She looked deep into Jamey’s face. “You know me, Jamey, the kids can never have too many family members. I love the big extended family, even though if I could choose, I’d have only one dad for all four children.” Her smile was sad, almost apologetic.
“You’re an amazing mom, Carrie. And what you’ve created here is magic. I’m in awe, and appreciative.” He stroked Mango’s pink arm with all its folds and creases. “And if you ever want me to take Jade and Jasmine for an extended period, more than just a month in the summer, just know that I’m in. I’m getting ready to settle down, make a home for my children. I love my girls. I love all four of your children. You know?”
She nodded with tears in her eyes, and just then, the older children ran into the room with Wyatt at the back of the line.
“Daddy’s here!” Jade had seen her father. “Not your Daddy, Wyatt, but he’s coming later, right, Mom?” She sounded like she was helpfully explaining a complicated situation to her younger brother.
Jamey might have imagined it, but when Wyatt came around the corner, his little freckled face held disappointment.
This time the dream about Sergeant Milton was clear. Jamey could read the license plate of the car as it crawled down the driveway, see the lines on his face, almost smell his smoker’s breath. When Milton got out of the car and walked over to him, both of them knew what would happen next. Jamey would leave with his superior officer. Not by force, just because he needed to go back to Afghanistan.
“You’re jumping again,” Milton said.
Jamey woke from the dream, the tail end of a moan still fresh on his lips. He wiped his grizzly face, and sat on the side of the bed. It was time to get up. Shave. He’d told the girls he’d drive them to school.
Standing up, he was wobbly and then remembered that he drank too many beers last night while sitting around Pops’ table, talking about Tina. He was afraid he’d lost her. A week with no contact. She was back on Maui, and even though he called every day to tell her he loved her, she hadn’t called back. The more days that passed, the worse it looked, like a missing person.
Had he lost the opportunity to have the life he’d seen in a precognitive dream a month ago? The one where he and Tina had a child. He’d thought about that child many times since the dream, and had fallen in love with his sweet face, his little voice, the way he said “Da Da.”
Maybe he did love Tina out of some misplaced sense of obligation. It was true that he felt terrible about Hank’s death. And responsible. Maybe he loved her so much because of a misplaced duty to take over. Even if it was a guarantee he’d never get to be with Tina again, he still would have written the letter. He didn’t want her life ruined by some con artist with a list of priors. As a cop, he’d felt a moral obligation to rat those two out. His first thought was that the people who loved Tina the most in the world would know how to handle the situation. And those people were her parents. Give them a chance to decide Hank’s fate. Philip Greene was a lawyer. He’d know what to do. Had Jamey gone to the police, Hank would’ve been dragged off in handcuffs.
After dropping off the girls at the small elementary school, and kissing them each goodbye, he returned to Pops’ house, knowing what was in store. His face was a mask of stoicism as he waited on the porch. When the black car pulled down Pops’ driveway, Jamey wasn’t surprised. Today was the day. And Jamey knew he would go with Milton. Get in the car, wave to Pops, feel badly about leaving the girls again, especially during soccer playoffs. These were all things he’d seen in his dreams about the future.
Late last night, he’d written three letters. One to Jade and Jasmine about how much he loved them and that he’d be back soon, one to Pops in case he died over there, and one to Tina. Although something told him a letter might not be appreciated, he wanted to explain his motives for the anonymous letter to her parents. He didn’t say that it was her mother who screwed things up by going directly to Hank and ordering him to leave. He said he still believed in what they had ten years ago. Then, he tore it up. If he never came back, Jamey didn’t want her in love with him. It would be better if she hated him.
When Milton got out of the unmarked car and walked towards the house, Jamey noted that Milton was now a lieutenant. He’d been promoted. “Come on in,” he said, leading Milton up the front stairs to the house.
“I should have known you’d be expecting me.” Milton threw his cigarette into the wet grass.
Jamey looked over and almost smiled. “Will we leave tonight?”
Milton nodded and they walked down the hall. Pops was at the kitchen table playing solitaire.
“Ah, Milton.” Pops said, looking up. “Have you come to take my son back to the war? If so, I can’t pretend I’m happy about that.” Pops folded up the cards.
“Can I sit down?’ Milton said. Not waiting for an answer, he lowered himself into the closest chair and began to talk. Sixth Force had a situation of the highest security class that needed Jamey’s skill. “Maybe for only a few days.”
“How do you know I can jump again?” Jamey made it sound like he couldn’t jump.
Milton cleared his throat and looked at Jamey. “We’re going to try a jump, with some new ideas.”
“I’m not sure I’ve recovered my ability.”
“That’s fine, son. We want to do some tests before we try anything with dreams. I’m afraid I can’t say much more in front of your father.”
Pops grunted and stared at Jamey.
Milton continued. “If it all works out, I promise, Freud, that what we need you for is a specific mission, you’ll never leave the base, probably one or two dreams and we can have you on the first flight home when you’re done.”
Jamey knew Milton’s promises didn’t mean anything. If the plan changed, there’d be nothing Jamey could do about additional missions. “I won’t stay longer than three weeks.” He had the right to request this. Jade and Jasmine were out of school in another six weeks and he wanted to spend the summer
with them. Go somewhere fun. It wouldn’t be Maui now, but somewhere. Maybe rent a house in Mexico.
“Sounds about right.” Milton looked like he believed what he just agreed to. What was this secret mission? He’d hear soon enough.
Jamey looked at Pops. “I’ll be back before you know it.” Pops was better off not knowing much just in case.
Pops nodded. “We’ll get some fishing done when you get back.” They always said this. “You come back safe and sound, you hear?”
“I will. No smoking, Pops. I don’t want to see that thing when I’m back.” Jamey nodded at the oxygen tank, and then hugged his father like he might never see him again.
“That’s a Double Deep Promise, Kid.”
Jamey turned with Milton and left the little ramshackle house in Carnation, just like in the dream.
Chapter 17
Lahaina’s Front Street was busy with cars and people as Tina drove her truck along the main drag to the dive shop. Why had she driven to McDonalds and then turned onto the busiest street on Maui? Although Front Street was a picturesque whaling town replica, Tina had lived here for years, was used to the charm, and needed to get back to the shop for the afternoon charter. She had six customers scheduled to dive the cathedrals this afternoon with her as their guide.
Ever since she’d returned from Seattle and her parents’ house, Tina had been trying to dive once a day, whether it was a beach dive with customers, a fun dive at noon with Pepper, or doing one of the two boat dives on a morning or afternoon charter. It took her mind off Jamey.
Business was good for late spring. The news of Hank’s body turning up might have had something to do with it. Especially after the LA Times did a distasteful story about two con men ending up on Maui, and finally dying on the Valley Isle. The name of her dive shop had been mentioned. And now, Tina was trying to forget that the world knew she’d married a con man. She’d fielded phone calls from Honolulu and the West Coast, from reporters who’d wanted more on the story. She’d been tight-lipped and asked her crew to say they had no comment. Her father’s advice had been to ignore the press.
But customers who wanted to go boat diving just kept walking through the front door. Good thing, too, because keeping busy had never seemed so important. Tina’s heart was broken. Again. And she needed to stop thinking about what Jamey had done. Everywhere she looked, she was reminded of Jamey, which seemed ridiculous because he’d only been back in her life for less than three months. But in weak moments, when she let herself remember him, she missed his calming voice, his hands on her body, his jokes, the way he smelled in the morning.
Would her mother have turned Hank in to the police if Tina told her she was pregnant? She’d meant to ask before she left Washington State, but their new relationship was so breakable and at the last minute, didn’t broach the subject again. They’d agreed to let it die. She hadn’t told her mother that Jamey wrote the letter. What use would that serve? She’d simply said that they’d hit a rough patch. Next time her mother asked, Tina would say they were done. Make it sound like it fizzled out.
Once back at the dive shop, Tina gathered wetsuits and gear, coordinating with Shelley on the afternoon dive. It was good to be back with Obi in the Hawaiian weather. Without Jamey in her life, she’d concentrate on building her business back up to where it was when Hank disappeared. On lonely nights, when she lay in bed and thought about her life, Tina saw herself adopting. A baby was still important to her. That hadn’t changed one bit. She couldn’t sit around all day waiting for a man to enter her life and father a child. She’d had her two strikes. Three if you counted Jamey the first time around.
When Katie handed Tina the phone, she thought it was a business call.
“Tina’s Dive Shop.” She adjusted her left breast in her bikini top.
“Kristina, this is Mother. Your father is heading to the hospital now in an ambulance. He had an episode and was clutching his chest. I’m following in the car.” Her voice was shaky.
“Oh, no.” Tina knew this wasn’t just an episode. “Are you okay, Mom?”
“Can you come back to Seattle? I can’t do this without you, Kristina. I’m afraid.” Elizabeth started to cry.
“Pull over, Mother. Pull the car over, and we can talk. Don’t drive while you’re on the phone and crying.”
There was a pause. “All right. I’ve stopped now.”
“What did the paramedics say?” Tina gestured for Megan to do the boat charter.
“They said he was having heart palpitations, but it was probably normal. They said that they needed to get him to the hospital and get him hooked up to monitor his heart.”
“Well, then that’s probably all it is, Mother. Being cautious. I can fly tonight and be there for you in the morning. Why don’t you try to calm down, get to the hospital, and then call me with the update? It sounds like they just need him in the hospital to be safe. Nothing too serious.” She wasn’t sure she believed the words but it seemed to help her mother.
After she hung up, Tina called the airline and checked on flights. Got the information ready if she needed to book something.
But when Elizabeth phoned later, she’d calmed down, and decided that she could handle this. “Your father said I was overreacting, so I’m going to try to think positively.”
Tina arrived home at eight o’clock and fixed herself a cup of herbal tea, remembering what her father said on the phone earlier. “Your mother isn’t as strong as she looks, Kitten. She’s just scared, but I’m going to show her how well I bounce back.”
Tina had a bad feeling about all of this, like when she woke from those dreams about her father at the top of the stairs. Waiting for her mother to call seemed like a bad idea. She needed to get back to Seattle. After calling the airlines to book herself on the red eye and then calling Pepper to dog sit again, Tina threw a few things into her bag and headed for Kahului Airport. If her father had another setback, and took a turn for the worse, she’d never forgive herself for not getting her butt to Seattle.
There was too much time to think on the six-hour flight. Willing herself not to worry about her father, Tina then couldn’t get thoughts of Jamey out of her head. She tried to sleep, then, when she couldn’t, she plugged into a movie, but the hero reminded her of Jamey. Handsome and sensible. Finally she allowed herself to compare Jamey’s love for her with her love for her father. If she knew someone was trying to double cross her father, wouldn’t she take action? Even if it meant that she’d end up with what she wanted by getting rid of the double crosser? Yes, she’d take that chance. It was hard to compare the two situations, but on that flight to Seattle, Tina had a moment of clarity. Jamey must’ve been desperate when he’d written the letter. And worried sick about her.
By the time she got to the hospital at nine a.m., her dad had taken a turn for the worse and her mother was frantic, hovering at the side of his bed. He was heavily sedated, with drips and machines beeping ominously. Tina dropped her bag and turned to her mother. “Mom,” she cried, her voice quivering. They held each other tightly.
“It’s not looking good,” her mother said.
Tina watched her usually robust father motionless, beyond them, the machines counting off each heartbeat like it might be his last.
“He had another episode last night. They can’t operate. He’s not strong enough. I think we’re losing him, Kristina.” She pulled back to look in her daughter’s eyes.
“He’s a tough one, Mom. Remember that.”
Her mother’s mouth screwed up and her face crumpled into a twisted sob. Patting her mother’s arm, Tina went to the bedside. “What did the doctor say?” His hand was cold. It seemed like a bad sign, and she grabbed it with both hands, trying to give him her heat, her life.
“The doctors said the next few hours would be critical.” Her mother moved in and put an arm around her daughter’s shoulders, pulling her in closer. “All we can do is pray, and wait.”
Tina nodded. “Oh, Daddy. Come on you old coot.
You can do this.” She squeezed his hand and hoped to feel something back. Nothing. “If you get through this, I promise I’ll give you that grandchild you wanted. I promise, Daddy.” She whispered the last part and leaned in to kiss his forehead. “Please be okay.”
All that morning, Tina stayed at his bedside, Elizabeth too, taking turns holding his hand, talking to him. She wished Jamey was with her. Forget pride. She wanted Jamey, regardless of what had happened. Jamey would make it better.
Nurses came and went as Tina held her father’s hand and hoped he would open his eyes, smile at her, tell her he was better. He was only sixty-seven years old, too young for this to happen.
Shortly after three p.m., Tina was holding his hand, willing life into him, when she felt him slip away. Like Jamey’s gift, she knew before it happened. Horrified, she held her breath and hoped her intuition was completely wrong. “Mom!” Her voice was a strangled choke.
Her mother looked over desperately.
Then Phillip Greene took his last breath. The machine stopped beeping, and an alarm sounded. Nurses rushed in. A doctor followed.
“No, Philip,” her mother cried. “Don’t leave me, Philip. I can’t do this without you.” She pounded his chest like that would help, but a nurse took her hands and held them while the doctor tried the defibrillator.
Tina stood back like this was only a nightmare, and she might wake up. She reached to press her hand into her abdomen and when it was met with a solid mass, denial was no longer possible.
Eventually the young doctor gave up and set the defibrillator aside. “I’m sorry.” The doctor turned to look at both women. “He’s gone.”
Tina moved to the bed and buried her face in her father’s neck. “Oh Daddy. I’m sorry.” The tears spilled onto her father’s shoulder. “I’m so sorry this happened. I love you so much.” The pain twisted her heart.
