by June Leung
“So that’s it, I guess. You stay here until we know what happened. Let us know if you really have to go outside.” Eric nodded to both of them. Helen stood at once and excused herself.
Chapter 18
Adrian
It was cold inside the dungeon. Adrian sat on the floor, staring at Lia. Her wrists and ankles were clasped in metal chains, though she couldn’t do much. She still hadn’t opened her eyes. She was pale, and her hair lost its shimmer. The faint rise and fall of her chest was the only sign she was not dead. There was a glint on the chain from the light. He swallowed, shivering from the cold.
His vision blurred as a new surge of tears welled up in his eyes. What was he thinking to leave her alone? Why the hell did he let the walls of the clan stop him? He should’ve reached out to her earlier. It was his fault again. He knew Lia wouldn’t last with her power for long. He knew it would only get worse when she got stronger. He did nothing. Why must he be such a jerk to her? If only she would fight the chains and chew him alive, that would be better than her tied up, lifeless. Gosh, he missed those brown eyes so much.
There was a click at the door, he didn’t turn to look. He curled into a ball, wishing to disappear from the world. If only it was him tied up there, taking Lia’s place. The footsteps became louder as they approached him. The numb pain tugged at him, every heartbeat was a torture in itself.
“King, at least eat something?” Benjamin sat beside him, his voice gentle yet filled with worry.
Adrian shook his head. He wasn’t hungry; he couldn’t think of anything other than Lia. What if she didn’t wake up? Benjamin drained her power once that day and he needed to do it again to save Benjamin. No way her power was that strong.
He couldn’t even figure out why she could go rampant in that short of a time frame. Dammit… Why didn’t he try to know more about his magic? Why was he satisfied with not dying from it and only knowing a trick or two? He shouldn’t expect to never meet another origin like himself. He gasped, the pain inside him hard to bear.
Benjamin nudged him. Adrian wanted to shove him away, but he was too tired to lift his arms. Why was he not dead? He’d gladly take Lia’s place, if only…
“King… I know it’s hard, but going without food for days is not good for you.”
I’m still alive and that’s not good for anyone. Adrian flicked his eyes to the paper bag in Benjamin’s hand, carrying the faint scent of tacos through the air. Lia likes tacos so much… He shook his head. Crap… This isn’t at all helping. Benjamin reached for his shoulder, but he slapped his hand away. “Can you back the hell off? I don’t have time for you!” His voice cracked as tears bubbled inside him again. He sure was like a pile of mess.
Benjamin stared at him, his eyes filled with concern. Adrian growled. “Get out of here!” He wasn’t a weak kitty face down in a gully on a rainy day with its coat soaked.
“Difficult days, huh?” Benjamin set down the paper bag, but he wasn’t leaving.
Is this a joke?
“King. I know it is the case when you’re not even drinking.” Benjamin turned the can of beer in his hand, the can Adrian brought the first night Lia went down. He should’ve finished it that night, but he was in no mood to drink when he saw her there. It remained untouched in the past whatever days.
“Whether I’ve touched it or not has nothing to do with you,” Adrian snapped, launching at Benjamin and aiming for his throat.
Benjamin made no attempt to duck away, just setting the can down as Adrian tackled him onto the floor, straddling him and wrapping his hands around Benjamin’s throat.
What was he doing? He said he would do better than hurting his people again.
Benjamin was almost the only one left that would still bear with him. No… he was the only one. Lia already decided to cut ties with him. When she woke up, she would run for her life. Hopefully, far enough that even Evelyn wouldn’t find her. The other two on his team… He couldn’t even contact them. The remaining one on his team wouldn’t pick his side.
Maybe he couldn’t afford to lose Benjamin. He let go of him, collapsing back to his place by the wall. He let out a wry chuckle as a few tears fell down his cheek. Still, just because he had no choice… Just like his team had no choice but to bear with him. This was messed up.
“Adrian… What’s on your mind? Will it help if you talk about it?” Benjamin sat up.
Would there be anything that could help? Hell, he didn’t even know how long he had been sitting in the same place, nor did he have any idea how long Lia had been out. Everything blurred in his mind. He remained in silence for who knew how long.
Adrian ran his hand over his face, wiping away the stray tear. “When she was suffering, where the heck was I? I said I would help her and that I would protect her, but where on earth was I? I was just a pile of drunk trash while you were risking your life to save her.” He slapped his palm over his eyes, lacking the strength to sit up straight. Benjamin said nothing, so Adrian went on.
“It was so stupid. When Ariel was killed, I, for the love of whatever was standing far far away like a useless jerk. And I had the guts to say I would get revenge for her. When Lia was on the brink of death, I wasn’t even in the damn scene… What the hell was I even thinking!” He gasped, shaking his head. The pain in his chest swallowed him as a sob escaped his throat. “It… It seems I am just here crying all the time. It is tiring. How useless can a jerk like me be?”
Benjamin pulled him into a tight embrace, helping him to sit back up.
Adrian flinched. He just tried to strangle Benjamin, what was he doing? He let out a heavy sigh, letting Benjamin hold him. What had he done to deserve someone that was still by his side? All he did was bring everyone misery.
After Adrian seemed to be able to hold his tears, Benjamin patted him and pulled away. “If you know it, I know you will try to help her.” Benjamin seemed a bit too calm. He should be angry instead.
“Whether I will or not is not important. The thing is that I did nothing.”
“Well, you didn’t know what was happening.”
“And that is the problem. I could’ve put in more effort. I did nothing.” It was painful to even say it out loud, why was he such a useless pile of mess when it came to people he cared about?
Benjamin let out a heavy sigh and looked towards Lia. Adrian followed his gaze, though it shattered him into pieces every time he saw her in that state. It didn’t help to know it was because of him.
“She is a kind woman,” Benjamin said.
“Yeah… I don’t even know what she sees in me. If she didn’t make it this hard, it would be easier for both of us.”
“What the heck are you talking about?” Benjamin glared at him, the intensity chilling Adrian’s blood to ice. “You keep pushing her away and it is her problem?”
“Is it not? If she didn’t try to make something happen, she wouldn’t end up here.” Adrian pointed towards Lia, his throat tight. His hand soon dropped. “I mean… it is impossible. Things I’ve done. As soon as she knows, she’ll leave.”
“If you really want her to leave, why don’t you just tell her?” Benjamin stared daggers at him.
Adrian shivered. But I… I am so sorry, Lia…
Benjamin shoved him in the chest. “Let me tell you what you’re doing. You’re waiting for Lia to die so that you can go cry about her, like you cried for Ariel. I think I already told you this. You are just pretending to be the victim all the time. I don’t care what you think. This is what you are doing. Hell, maybe you are the one setting Ariel up to die and for you to mourn. You sure love to torture yourself and make everyone feel sorry for you, huh? It sure is easier to just lie around and cry than to actually fight for her and help her, huh?”
Adrian’s heart skipped a beat. He wanted to argue, but nothing came out of his mouth. Was Benjamin accusing him of killing Ariel? Well, Ariel did die because of him, so that probably counted? It felt like a hand grabbed his throat, while something stomped onto his chest
until he broke into pieces. He shook his head frantically, burying himself between his arms. “No… I’m not doing that. No!”
Benjamin stood, towering over him. He pointed to Lia. “You go and say that to her face. You said you would take care of her, but when things got hard, all you did was run away. And you have the audacity to push her to fight the monster as if you are the Almighty. I have had enough with you torturing her and trying to get her killed at every corner. It’s OK if you’re still in denial, if you never admit your feelings for her and you keep waiting for her to die. I don’t care what you think. I am taking her under my wing instead. I know I can’t help her with her power like you can, but I would rather die trying. At least I’ll know I tried my best. Not like you.”
Adrian remained frozen. His gut twitched. Did Benjamin also feel something for her? He sure wanted to love Lia, to be with her, but he was a devil. What would happen to her if she knew…? Well, she was already in this state because of him, maybe it couldn’t get worse. “Ben… Do you feel something for her?”
Benjamin snorted a humorless laugh. “No. I’ve told you this countless times. Not romantically. But I sure want her as a friend. And I for sure am bored and annoyed with how you are treating her. Who knows whether or not I will fall for her later.”
Adrian turned back to stare at the cold hard floor. “I have my reasons.”
“Spill. They better be good enough to warrant Lia almost dying,” Benjamin growled, grabbing Adrian’s collar.
Ariel’s face flashed in Adrian’s mind and a surge of sadness swarmed him yet again. “I… what kind of man would I be if I just walked away from Ariel to love someone else? I already betrayed her, letting her get burned by the Elements. Hell, am I now wanting to go for someone else? If it wasn’t for you all, I don’t even want to be here, breathing and causing all the mess.”
Benjamin’s gaze softened. He let out a heavy sigh, letting go of Adrian. “I thought after all these years, you would have allowed yourself to move on. I thought we talked about it a while ago.”
“Don’t pretend you understand! I can never move on. How do people even move on? It was my fault she’s dead. Do you even know how much she sacrificed for me before she was killed? There’s no way I could let her go. There’s no way I can just go and fall for another girl like Ariel was never in my life.” A sob escaped him. Adrian bit the inside of his mouth, willing the tears to stop. He flinched when Benjamin laid hand on his back.
“I am sorry we haven’t invented a time machine.”
Adrian snapped his head up, glaring. Was Benjamin mocking him? He meant it when he said he was upset - how could Benjamin say this to him? Ariel was his everything, how could Benjamin—He almost jumped for his throat when he gestured to Lia.
“My King, it is always your choice. Are you going to live in a past you can’t change and risk Lia dying, too? Or are you going to let the past go and try to not also lose your future. I’m grateful you haven’t killed yourself because of us. But look, maybe you pissed Lia off, but she deserves to know how you feel. No random guy fights a blood thirsty gang for someone he doesn’t care about. And no one would break the pact for someone he doesn’t care about. Before Lia slips out of your life, do something.”
“I told you I was just trying to make a deal, not fall in love with her. Everything is just for the deal.”
“You’ve barely mentioned it once with her. I don’t even think you were still even trying. Stop fooling yourself.”
“It sure sounds easy, huh?” Adrian let out a wry chuckle, shaking his head.
Benjamin patted his shoulder again. “I’m not saying you should act like Ariel never existed. I’ve told you before: you can feel sad and grateful for Ariel at the same time. Maybe I am evil to say this, but Ariel’s long gone. She would want you to be happy, and you know it.”
Adrian let out a heavy sigh. Ariel was the most joyful and caring person he’d ever met. She would brighten everyone’s day. Without her, his world had already crumbled into chaos and dust. “You don’t know that. What if Ariel didn’t think that?”
“Then she is mean to you. If you died instead of her, would you want her to cry about you for the coming centuries, or would you want her to find someone she loves and live happily? She would be happy with someone who truly cares about her and would accept her past, like it is the thing none of us could change.” Benjamin scowled, gently shaking Adrian’s shoulder as if he was trying to shake some sense into him.
Adrian stared at him. He hated that Benjamin was right. He wouldn’t even have a problem if Ariel forgot about him, as long as she was happy. He swallowed. “Still… what if Lia wouldn’t accept it? What if she hates that I still think of another woman at times?”
Benjamin groaned. “Gosh, how are you this dumb when it comes to relationships? Can you figure out what’s your problem and what’s someone else’s problem? If she doesn’t even allow you to think about Ariel at times, that’s her problem. And you don’t know what she thinks. You go ask her.”
Would it be that easy? What if Lia was still mad at him? Before he could say something, Benjamin glared at him. “Lia is already in a coma. I think it’s a good time for you to think about it. Would you prefer a world without her instead? Look at you. You’ve eaten nothing and you’ve drunk nothing for days. I doubt you could live with the fact that you killed her. If you think Ariel dying is your fault, Lia’s death would be ten times your fault.”
Adrian looked to Lia. Her eyes were still closed, the vital power from her almost undetectable. Even him shouting at Benjamin and their fight didn’t wake her. Since Lia showed up in his life, things did seem to be better. At least that was the case before he remembered how much a devil he was and how he owed Ariel.
He closed his eyes, letting quiet tears fall. He could still recall how it felt with Lia in his arms and how her lips felt. He would give everything if it meant she would come out of the coma. Maybe he should at least try, right? At least he should tell her, even if she would just push him away. At least he could face himself.
If he had the guts to push Lia to keep fighting the monster, he probably should kick himself in the pants to try to fight himself. It was just asking Lia a question or two, no way he couldn’t do it. He flicked his eyes to Benjamin, who was staring at her. “Hey, Ben…?”
Benjamin turned to him, raising his brows. Despite his hammering heart, Adrian asked, “Do you think I can really ask her about Ariel? Would she be angry?”
“I thought we’ve established that Lia had a kind heart, and she is the one that can manage your temper. You are softer than a barbecued marshmallow when she is around. Look at you. You’ve never even dropped a tear in front of me nor anyone else before she appeared in your life.” Benjamin smirked, strangely Adrian didn’t feel bad looking at that.
“Is that a good thing?” He was supposed to be a devil—always cowering in the corner wasn’t the right thing to do.
“Well, you have to let yourself feel and process things. Crying isn’t bad,” Benjamin said, rubbing Adrian’s back.
“I hope you’re right.” Adrian let out a heavy sigh. It ached to see Lia still tied up. The den was located where Zitannas’ power was the strongest, which was very tasty for a dark magician like him. They could only hope that Lia would also benefit from it. There was a warm stir in his stomach that felt great, but it wasn’t from any magic.
“You know I’m always right. And King, thank you. I am so honored to be the one you decided to talk to.” Benjamin grinned like the smug little jerk he was.
Adrian chuckled, shaking his head. “Don’t let it get to your head. And don’t you dare tell others.” Maybe it was better than keeping it buried inside him.
Benjamin gestured to zip his mouth. “No soul will know, not even from my dead body. Rest assured.” He picked up the paper bag, handing it to Adrian. “Well, before it gets cold, eat something. When Lia wakes up, I don’t want her to see you a mess.”
The mention of Lia tugged at Adria
n’s heart, but he smiled back regardless. He took the paper bag. “Thanks, Ben. I owe you again for Lia’s life. You should also know I truly appreciate you, despite how I always lash out at you. I really need to control my temper.” He unwrapped the still-warm beef taco.
“Right, otherwise you would be like the other royal snobs.” Benjamin chuckled, throwing a chip into his mouth.
Adrian rolled his eyes, swallowing the spicy taco. His stomach rumbled, reminding him how long he had gone without any food in his system. The food soon disappeared, with Benjamin stealing some nacho for himself.
“Are you going to a bed or are you still sleeping here?” Benjamin asked after they sat for another while.
Adrian rubbed his temple. He had no idea how much time had passed; the dungeon without a clock nor the sun didn’t help with the sense of time. “Maybe later. I still want to…” His eyes flicked to Lia, although she probably wouldn’t wake up even if he would stay for another day.
“OK, you take good care of yourself.” Benjamin smacked him in the shoulder, waving a goodbye and left with the trash in his hand.
After the door clicked closed, Adrian stood and walked up to Lia. She was pale, her face still, as if time had stopped on her. His breath rugged, it pained him to see her unconscious. His hand shook as he stopped himself from caressing her cheek, it felt wrong. He took in a deep breath, taking in her scent. His heart skipped a beat. He wanted to hug her, but maybe she didn’t want it, especially when she was fast asleep.
Her power was weak. It may have gotten better, or maybe it was just his deceptive wish. He leaned back on the wall and closed his eyes.
Lia… Would you grant me the chance to tell you how I feel?
Chapter 19
Helen
A few days after Helen was instructed to stay in the clan, William called her to his office. Helen walked inside, hoping there was good news about Lia, but he looked even more stressed than before. His t-shirt was wrinkled, his hair was messed up, and the smell of coffee in the room was suffocating. His office was still perfectly tidy, despite a large pile of documents on his desk. He looked up as she closed the door behind her and smiled wryly. “Good that you are here. Look at this.” He turned the screen of his computer to Helen, gesturing for her to take a seat across him.
