by June Leung
“It’s not like I could complain.” Lia rolled her eyes. Adrian swallowed, averting her gaze. She nudged him. “Thank you for saving me. I can’t wait for the day when I can be the one saving others, not being saved.”
Adrian’s gaze was intense on her, the hesitation and passion apparent. Lia found herself immersed, if not hypnotised by his blue eyes. What does he still want from me? Waiting to push me away again?
“Go thank Ben. He’s the one who saved your life. I was just a pile of useless junk when you were in danger.” He reached out and held her hands, his face serious. “I know you made it clear you want nothing to do with me anymore. I know I hurt you. I have a lot to tell you, Lia, so hear me out till the end, please?”
She sucked in a deep breath, bracing herself for what was coming, she nodded.
“I know you are angry with me and want nothing to do with me. I know I am dumb and hurt you. You said you won’t want an answer from me anymore, but I really want to give us a try. I realized… I can’t live without you. The few days you were in the hospital freaked me out. And you being unconscious for the past few days made for some of the most painful days I’ve walked the earth.” His voice cracked, eyes shimmering as tears welled up.
Her mind seemed to stop working. She hoped he meant his words. Maybe she was angry before, but she wasn’t now.
He raised his brows at her silence. “It is OK if you don’t want to see me anymore. Frankly, I also didn’t want to see myself. Don’t feel pressured to agree to anything. Everything can be temporary. I can wipe your memory after your power stabilizes so you don’t have to remember a thing about dark magic or about me. These are probably painful memories for you anyways. No loss in losing them.” He stared at the ground sheepishly, a few spots on the rubber mat darkened by his tears.
She wanted to agree, not every part had been painful. Despite her wish, her voice was shaky. “That’s a big change in your attitude. What for?”
What was she doing? What if Adrian still pushed her away? He said he couldn’t live without her, but did he really mean it? Or was he just enjoying playing with her feelings?
She winced, willing her thoughts to stop for a second, to give her a break. Despite her mind, her heart wanted him to mean his words, but he’d always pushed her away no matter what he said before.
He flicked his eyes to her. “You remember I mentioned there is someone who also has my kind of power?”
Lia nodded, faintly remembering what he told her when they discovered her power. She sighed. It felt like so long ago.
“She is here, demanding me to keep my pact with her and have you killed.”
Lia’s eyes opened wide. Adrian lifted her hand, kissing her knuckles. She jerked, yanking back her hand. His face twisted as she looked away . “I am sorry… I shouldn’t… I was meaning to tell you, but I couldn’t reach you. I am fighting her. I’m not going to let you die. Not after all we’ve gone through.”
There is no ‘we’! Stop it!
“Who is she?” She frowned. Although she was still ambivalent, if someone wanted her dead, maybe she should pay attention.
“Evelyn. An old enemy… We were friends until something came up. We fought until we were certain we couldn’t take out each other. We made a pact, agreeing not to see each other again. We agreed on our territories, and… to kill whoever displayed our type of power.”
If anything, that sounded like bad news. Adrian looked stressed. But what if this was something he made up just to keep her around him? “Benjamin? He also has dark magic.”
“It is different. We are talking about the power of the origin. Benjamin is no match to that. His power comes from me. And no dark magicians can be stronger than their origin. You have the power of the origin; that’s why your power showed up on its own. Other dark magicians learn from the origin that gives them the power.”
“OK…? So Evelyn wants to get rid of other origins.”
“Yes. She doesn’t want someone out there that could build an army of dark magicians and fight her.”
“You aren’t scared of that?”
“You wouldn’t do that to me,” he chuckled.
“So confident?”
“Well… I’d rather die in your hands, then.”
She swallowed—that wasn’t what she meant. “How strong is Evelyn?”
“She is strong. Very strong. The gang was nothing compared to her. And I guess her people are tough, too. Years ago, we were on an even playing field, but I’m not sure anymore. It will probably take all I have to fend them off.”
This does sound a bit more real.
“Are you sure when you said you couldn’t live without me? Because it feels like I’ve never really mattered to you. You simply pity me for having your power. It seems like fighting Evelyn would be a dumb decision. You don’t have to fight for me. There’s never been an ‘us’ anyways. I’m just an Elements’ magician. What am I to you?” Lia shook her head. Her heart raced, hammering in her chest. Before she had this sorted out, she didn’t know what to think. It was hard enough to be in the same room with him.
He lifted Lia’s chin and their eyes met, his shiny blue eyes stormy with emotions she couldn’t point out. “Well… After what I have or haven’t done, it is only fair for you not to believe me. Remember when I said nothing can happen between us? I admit I’m hiding the main reasons from you.
“It’s special to me how you always give yourself to fight for people you don’t even know. You don’t only fight for them, you’d do the stupidest things for them. Almost getting squashed by a giant cobra, getting drowned by a pile of slime, asking for a devil’s help to save Helen…
“I guess I just like that about you a bit too much, and you are the one trying to not call me a devil. I mean… you sometimes remind me of Ariel. At least how I feel about you. She is the one you saw William burned. The one I loved… love? I feel like a traitor every time I feel something for you. That’s why I insisted there be nothing between us.
“I… I never intend to hurt you… I just… can’t keep myself away from you. It is fine if you don’t want me anymore. I just think I have to tell you… I will still keep you alive regardless, so there’s no pressure to even consider throwing me a bone. I can’t even bear the thought of you dying, not having the chance to let you know. I’ve had enough of not saving the people I love. Maybe you should choose to wipe your memory after all this craziness. At least you will still live.” He looked down, his voice cracked. Lia moved closer to his side, caressing his face and wrapping her arms across his back. He leaned into the touch.
If she was still in doubt when he said he couldn’t live without her earlier, she wasn’t anymore. He’d cried when he first let her know about Ariel, when he told her as a reason to not tell William about her dark power. He wouldn’t joke with something he held that close to his heart.
“Thank you for telling me.” She squeezed his hand. “You don’t expect I would know that, right? I’m not like you, I can’t read others’ mind.”
He smiled wryly, holding her tight as if his life depended on it. “I figured that out after Ben knocked some sense into my tiny brain,” he choked. “I’m sorry, Lia. Maybe this still is not a good idea. I can’t… I can never forget her… This will not be fair for you.” He shook his head, pulling away from her with a pained look. She wrapped her arms around him, holding him still as he turned to face her with a confused look.
“It’s OK. You don’t have to forget her. Just… don’t keep hurting yourself. I don’t think I will ever understand how it feels. When I saw Helen lying on the floor, bleeding out, it scared the heck out of me. It was like… the whole world was falling apart. It must be much more painful to lose someone you love. We can walk through it together if you want to and when you are ready.” Lia stroked his back, his body shaking from tears.
“After all these years, I don’t always think about her, but when I do… How would you think if after your own death, the one you love went off loving someone e
lse? Aren’t they the biggest jerk and traitor in the world?” He looked at her with teary eyes, his voice shaking.
“I… I’m not dead enough to know the answer. I guess I would be happy to see the one I love happy. If they find someone that makes them happy, that’s good… I guess? I won’t be there anyway.
“You always think I should be with someone else, saying it will make me happier. Although that’s not true, you did what you thought was best for me even if it meant making yourself suffer. I’d guess Ariel would feel the same way for you. Maybe she would suffer more if she knew you hurt yourself over her.”
He stared at her with disbelief, his warm breath on her face in their closeness.
She continued. “You make it awkward asking me that. You know how much I want something to happen between us.” She squeezed his shoulder, which he met with a weak smile. “As a matter of fact, thank you for always taking care of me, staying with me when I was upset and helping me through the monsters. And if you are too dumb to know, I’m very happy around you. At least when you don’t push me away.”
His eyes shimmered with tears, but his smile soon faltered. “Even so, I don’t know whether you should accept me… Things I’ve done through these years… I’m a devil. Not to mention how I treated you, I…”
He shook his head, pulling away. “And what if something happens to you because of me? What if you are killed because of me? I don’t even think I could live with it. Maybe it will be better if we aren’t to—”
Lia held onto him, pressing her lips onto his, stopping him from talking. His eyes widened in shock. The kiss lingered until Lia pulled away just enough to look him in the eyes.
“You don’t get to insult my choice,” she smirked.
Realising she was paraphrasing him, he chuckled.
Lia stroked his cheek, swiping the tear away. “We will find a way if we try. You already failed in keeping yourself away, right?”
“You aren’t angry with me? Don’t you hate what I’ve done?” He frowned.
Her eyes narrowed, poking him in the chest. “I think I should be, but you make it very difficult. I wish you would have told me earlier. If you keep making both of us suffer, I will be very pissed.”
“You never fail to impress. You have no idea what I’ve done. I am really a terrible devil and probably up to no—”
Lia pressed her lips against his. He frowned, then he kissed her back passionately until they both needed air.
“I’ll take that as you still want to try something out with me?” He raised his brows eagerly.
“Actually, you are the only thing stopping the ‘we’.” She poked him in the chest. “Are we giving us a chance?”
He nodded, raising their hands to kiss her knuckles. “Yes, we are. I doubt I can live without you.” She beamed, pulling him into a tight embrace.
“One more thing I want to ask: is seeing me almost dead the only reason you told me your feelings?”
He chuckled wryly. “Before Evelyn appeared, I thought I could fix things, that you can master your power and turn it into ice power. The Elders would be no wiser, I would wipe your memory so you could go back to your life as before. I’m sure Helen would keep your dark power and me a secret from you. If something really happened between us and I ended up having to wipe your memory, it would be…” A sob escaped him, he shook his head.
It would be like the one you fell in love with was dead… Worse, I would be walking around with no idea what happened and he would have to watch as a stranger to me. Living with the pain…
He rubbed his temple before he continued, “I don’t think I could survive that kind of thing once more… I had to keep my mouth shut, before I said things I shouldn’t.
“But with Evelyn here, there is no way I can keep you alive without fighting her; there is no way I can fight her without William finding out; there is no way you will be able to go back to your life as before. I can’t wipe everyone’s memory. In the end, I selfishly only wanted to try with you when it was easy and would benefit me…”
Lia rubbed his back and he pulled her over, sitting her on his lap. He buried his nose into her hair, his warm breath sending a tingle down her spine. She chuckled as his nose tickled her ear. “I guess I see why. Thank you for always thinking about me, although I would much rather you let me join your decision making, especially when it has to do with me.”
“I’ll try.” He nibbled at her earlobe, his hands running up and down her body. She shifted to hug him again.
“Better not make Ben wait too long.” He pulled away, helping both of them to stand back up and wrapping his arm around her waist as they walked to the door.
“He’s outside?” Lia blushed, flicking her eyes to the door, no one was there.
“Of course. He wasn’t going to stay and listen to what I have to tell you.” He laughed.
Lia rolled her eyes, playfully pushing him away. “What? Is it so embarrassing to be with me?”
He turned her to face her, his face dead serious. Pushing her back up the door, he whispered to her ear. “Me with you is hardly embarrassing, but for the world, I doubt they could stop watching us. They would get too jealous.”
“You must be the reason. Don’t blame me.”
His blue eyes darkened with desire. “We shall see.”
He pressed his lips onto hers. She closed her eyes. Finally, she could let herself feel him without worrying what he would do next. She had been wanting this. Adrian was there for her at every corner. Part of her still couldn’t understand what he saw in her, but she was glad there was finally certainty in how he felt.
She pulled him closer for fear he’d disappear and leave her waking up from a dream. He rested his forehead on hers and said, “I could kiss you till the end of time, but if we don’t move soon, I doubt we’ll get out of here.”
“You have to watch yourself,” she chuckled.
Outside the door, Benjamin was a few steps down the corridor, staring at the ceiling. He snapped his head back when Lia waved to him, beaming as he eyed the two of them. “Looks like something is solved, huh?”
Lia and Adrian exchanged a glance. “I guess so,” she said, pecking Adrian on the cheek. He flinched. As Lia raised her brows, Benjamin laughed.
“That’s OK, my King. I’m not telling anyone. Your little secret is very safe with me.”
“Why does this have to be a secret?” she asked with a frown.
“Just for me to keep as a surprise for a little while? It will soon not be a secret anymore.” Adrian winked at her with a warm smile on his face. Despite not knowing what he meant exactly, she nodded.
Chapter 21
Lia
As Adrian showed Lia around, the den was more complicated than she imagined. Walking through the corridors, almost every one looked the same; even the number of the lamps that looked like torches were equal. The walls were made of grey stones. There weren’t any signs on most of the doors, and even their appearances were very similar. It reminded her of the gang and The Orbit, it seemed everything looking the same was the trend?
“You like it here?” Adrian asked, opening a door to a room with a desk holding a pile of books with a few chairs set on the floor. The room was brightly lit, the stone walls gave it the feel of an old castle.
“How do you remember the corridors and the rooms? Everything looks the same.” Lia eyed the books. They were a mixture of history and biology books.
He chuckled. “Hm… You have a point. You will soon remember after spending some time here.”
“It kind of feels like the base of the gang in the way that everything is indistinguishable for a newcomer.”
“I’ll be mad if you compare me to them.”
“I won’t want you if you are as dumb as them.”
“Should I be grateful?”
“You got lucky,” she beamed, stroking his hair. He leaned into her touch with a wide smile. Lia’s smile, however, faltered quickly.
He asked, “What’s on your mind
?”
“How long was I down? Helen must be worried about me. I have to find her.” Her heart skipped a beat, she scrambled to search her pockets, but her phone wasn’t with her. She flicked her eyes to him.
“I already told her you are with me, but I think it will be great for her to hear directly from you.”
Lia released a sigh of relief, pulling him into a tight embrace. “Thanks. Didn’t realize you do know how to do some friend things.”
He groaned, but the corner of his lips curled up. “Let’s go call her.” He held her hand, their fingers interlaced with each other.
“Can’t we do it here?”
“We can do a lot of things here, but making a call is not one of them.” He winked at her with a devilish smile. She rolled her eyes and smacked him in the chest, he laughed. “Don’t you find something special here? I told you good observation is very important.”
The room looked like a typical office room, but something felt out of place. She looked around the brick wall: there was an ancient map hung up, but the location seemed to be fabricated. Otherwise, nothing looked strange. He nodded at her expectantly.
“Oh. There’s no windows here.” Both in this room and the room she met him earlier that day were completely dark when the lights were off.
“Not too bad. We are underground, and there’s no signal here.”
“Then I suppose there’s also no internet connection? How do you even survive? And who actually designed a place without a network?” Lia stared at him. Such a caveman.
He shrugged. “When I set up, neither internet nor phones existed. Can’t blame me.”
“Wait! How long ago was that? And actually how old are you? I don’t think you’ve told me.” Her eyes opened wide.
He leaned close, pecking a gentle kiss on her lips. “Probably longer than you could imagine. You never seemed to care.”
Lia blushed, looking away. “Didn’t think an old man like you would be interested in me?”
