"But there's still less females than males."
"It's always been that way. Fewer females were created than males. Males were to be the army and females simply the vessels to make more soldiers. The Grand Prince didn't know the toll a single birth would place on a female. He came from a time when women gave birth to child after child after child."
"Lovely," I muttered.
"It also may have something to do with your genetic anomaly," he continued with a shrug. "Males already have an altered chromosome, so it's easier to manipulate another whereas females have double chromosomes. Perhaps thus making it more complicated for them to change two. The truth is, we don't really know. There's no clear cut reason why in vitro fertilization doesn't work for female shifters either. It works for humans and it works for animals, but a hybrid of the two can't seem to accept a foreign embryo."
I studied him for a second. "But you have a theory about that?"
He smiled serenely and closed the book. My eyes again caught on the star and the wolf mark on the cover.
"Perhaps the reason is in how we were created. The Romani believed there had to be a balance in nature. The Chinese call it yin and yang. Perhaps in creating what was never meant to be, nature found a way to control the shifter population on its own."
"But you're saying that shifters were basically created from magic?" I asked, flicking my eyes up to him.
He smiled distantly. "My dear, isn't everything magic in some way?"
16
The giant brown eyes of the wolf in front of me was starting to get annoying.
I sighed. "I'm trying, Larkin."
The gray wolf cocked her head to one side, tongue lolling out, her dark eyes still imploring.
"Focus, Skye," Katy urged behind me, and not for the first time. I grit my teeth and bit back a reply.
It had been several days since I met with Elias, and while I had settled into GPA and mostly caught up on my classes, operation "Get In Touch With Your Wolf" was still a no-go.
I had tried sitting on my own, under a tree, trying to commune with my wolf. A few times I had felt her stir, but mostly she didn't seem to care about bonding.
Last night I had finally told Larkin why I disappeared after dinner every night, and she offered to come with me. Her logic was that Elias was right - we needed to bond with the pack, and what better way than in wolf form?
That was about the time Katy walked in and announced she would help. She had offered to pull in the rest of the pack, but I quickly shot down that idea. As much as I was enjoying getting to know my new pack, I didn’t want that much attention on me.
Or to be known as the girl who couldn’t shift.
Which led to the three of us sneaking towards the far end of the campus to work on my shifting. Larkin had shifted first, easily, while Katy stayed in human form to coach me.
It definitely wasn't going great.
I was sitting, wrapped in a damn towel, on the ground, pretty sure my butt was going to freeze off before my wolf appeared. I had a change of clothes nearby but shifting was usually a job best done naked unless you had ample spare clothes.
Since I wasn't quite ready to go commando in front of my new friends, I had opted for the towel.
"This is useless," I announced, throwing up my hands.
Katy sighed, running a hand through her long red hair. It gleamed in the light of the setting sun. "It's not useless. You just need to try harder."
"I am trying," I growled, frustrated and annoyed.
Larkin whined in her throat a second before she shifted back, the naked girl crouched in front of me. She reached for the spare towel to her right, pulling it around herself.
"Okay, let's try something different," Larkin started calmly as she tucked the end of the towel inside. "When you shifted last, what were you thinking of?"
Rage. Murder. Hate.
Probably not emotions I should recreate.
"I tried that," I muttered. And I had, by myself. I tried to remember the way I felt that night, the fear and hatred. I got as far as my hands trembling before the feeling faded.
"OK." Her cheeks puffed out as she let out a breath. "Do you remember the first time you shifted?"
I blinked, thinking back. I had been young, barely eleven. On average, wolves shifted when they reached puberty. My shift had come earlier than most others.
I smiled to myself, remembering how proud I felt. I could do something that no one else my age could. I walked the halls of my school knowing I had something they didn't. Even if I didn't share it with them, I knew. It was a private little secret I had all to myself. For the first time, I didn't feel alone when I stepped into the school.
I had spent weeks talking to my wolf like she was an imaginary friend who existed in my head. She had been my best friend.
Quietly, like the sun slipping behind the mountains, I felt her stir.
I felt her move, stretching like she had just woken up from a long nap.
"Hold on to that," Larkin whispered softly, edging back away from me.
She didn't have to tell me that. Now that she was awake, I could feel my wolf. The more she woke, the stronger I felt.
The stronger we felt.
Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and surrendered to her.
There was a moment where nothing happened, and then I felt it. I felt my bones begin to crack and snap and knit back together. I felt the tickle as fur brushed against human skin for a second.
When my eyes opened, the world was sharper, clearer. I could hear everything from the wind in the leaves to the bird sitting in them whistling. I could hear the tandem heartbeats of Larkin and Katy.
And the smells.
I hadn't shifted since Long Mesa, and this was a whole new world. Soft earth, mossy grass, and fresh air. The clean scent of water clung to the breeze that tickled my nose.
"You did it!" Larkin exclaimed, clapping her hands. She caught her towel from slipping down at the last second.
"Damn," Katy said with a low whistle.
I swung my head to look at her and she gasped, pressing a hand to her chest.
"Holy shit," she breathed.
I cocked my head to the side, curious.
She shook her head. "It's unreal. You're like the exact opposite of Remy." She knelt in front of me, reaching out slowly to touch the black star on my head. "He's got a totally black coat, except for a white star."
"You're right," Larkin breathed, leaning towards me.
That was all well and good, but my wolf whined, the sound low in my throat. She wanted to run, and I wanted to let her.
Larkin and Katy exchanged smiles and then Larkin shifted. A second later, Katy shed her clothes and shifted, her russet brown wolf shaking out the effects of the change.
With a yip, Larkin lunged at me, nipping playfully at my heels.
Pack.
My wolf hummed the word in my head, and I completely agreed. I turned and nipped back at Larkin, who rolled onto her back. Katy growled and then batted a paw at me. I barked in return, letting my wolf bond with her pack.
Our pack.
A sense of complete rightness settled deep in my bones. For the first time in my entire life, I was home.
After that, we ran several miles, stopping a few times to play, but mostly just enjoying running together. It wasn't until almost an hour later that we returned to the trees where our clothes were.
I shifted back easily, relieved that I still felt my wolf as part of me even now that I was back to human form. She was there, a quiet hum in the background chaos of my life. The thread tethering us together wasn't that strong yet, but at least now I knew she was there.
I had a start to bonding with her.
Picking up my clothes, I quickly dressed. The sounds of Larkin and Katy pulling on their clothes was the only sounds of the night. I could see the distant lights of GPA and knew we had to get back, but something in me hesitated.
Katy and Larkin finished dressing and looked at me with i
dentical smiles.
I took a step towards them and stopped, finally dropping to the ground and sitting.
"What's up?" Katy asked, cocking her head.
Sensing my mood, Larkin sat, too. After a beat, Katy joined us.
I laced my fingers together in my lap, staring at them. "Long Mesa."
"Huh?" Katy frowned, not getting what I was saying.
I cleared my throat. "Long Mesa. That's the pack I ... escaped from."
Larkin's dark eyes softened and she reached out, covering my hands with hers and squeezing.
"Escaped from?" Katy echoed, worry lines creasing her porcelain face.
I nodded slowly, licking my lips. "My mom was the daughter of the alpha and was supposed to marry the son of a rival pack. It would have been a treaty of sorts. Except she got pregnant ... with me."
I let out a shaky breath, tucking my long hair behind my ears. "Her father was so furious, he cast her out as an omega."
Katy winced. "That sucks, girl."
"There's more," Larkin said slowly. "When we first met and I said you lived on an omega floor, you almost lost it."
"Yeah," I whispered, sniffing. I wiped at my nose. "Omegas weren't treated that great in Long Mesa. They aren't treated that great, I mean."
Katy bit her full lower lip. "I've heard stories about omegas being forced to clean houses and shit. Like being submissive means you’re less of a person or something. I never thought it was true."
My eyes slid shut and I ducked my chin to my chest. "God, I wish that had been it."
Neither of them spoke, letting me gather myself for a minute.
"Upper pack members could do whatever they wanted to omegas. No rules. Anything went. They were kept in a house together. The omega house. Kind of like a twisted shifter brothel. It's where I grew up."
They both gasped audibly.
"Jesus, Skye," Katy whispered, her hand covering her mouth.
Larkin's eyes filled with tears. "Wait. So, your mom-"
I nodded quickly, wiping my eyes. When had I started crying?
"Skye," Larkin said quietly, "were you..."
"The night we left, my uncle, our Alpha, had just made me an omega and basically told me that I had to start ..." I trailed off, unable to speak around the lump in my throat. My chest ached from swallowing back sobs.
Katy buried her face in her hands.
"Growing up, I was always the bastard," I kept going. "Ever since I was a little kid ... I never had any friends. Being the daughter of an omega, and basically knowing I would one day be an omega ... School was hell. The guy who will be Alpha after my uncle, Cassian, and his friends ..." I shuddered.
Larkin scooted around to sit next to me, wrapping her arms tightly around my trembling shoulders.
"There were no rules," I whispered, broken and hurting. "They would corner me, threaten me ... touch me. I couldn't fight back. I couldn't say no."
Katy looked up at me with teary eyes, her expression fierce. "But you got out, Skye. You survived."
"My grandfather died, and my uncle became Alpha. He called my mom and me to his house where he told me that the next day, I would be an omega. When we came home, another omega, Maisie, was ... She was being raped by a pack member. She was crying and bleeding and ... I lost it."
My hands curled into fists, nails biting into my palms until I scented blood.
"I shifted and killed him. I didn't think about it. I just did it."
"Good," Katy hissed, her eyes bright. "Fucking good."
I blanched. "Katy, I killed a member of my pack."
"No," she corrected with a grim face, "you killed a rapist hurting an innocent woman. Those people weren't your pack. That isn't a pack."
"She's right," Larkin told me gently, her hand smoothing down my back. "That's not a pack."
"Thank fuck you got out," Katy said, shaking her head.
I closed my eyes and leaned into Larkin.
Katy moved around to sit on my other side, her arms coming around me, too,
All the tears I never cried for years came rushing out. Aching sobs ripped from my chest as I finally let myself acknowledge the well of emotions I had held back for over a decade.
I pulled my knees up, crying harder, but feeling anchored at the same time by the arms around me. By the friends holding me together as I split apart.
"We got you," Katy said, her arms tightening around me.
"We're your pack now," Larkin promised, leaning her head against mine, "and we aren't letting you go."
17
The phone in my hand only rang for a second before my mom answered, her face filling the screen of the video chat. Her grin was infectious, and I found myself smiling back at her.
"Hey, baby," she greeted. Her eyes moved around, trying to see behind me. "Where's your roommate?"
"Taking a shower," I answered, settling against the pillows at the headboard of my bed. We had gotten back from our impromptu run and all gone to hit the showers, but I was the first out. I'd decided to call Mom as soon as I got back to my room.
"How's school?" she asked. Her body moved and I could tell she was sitting down, getting comfortable, too.
"Pretty good."
"Any issues catching up in your classes?"
I shook my head. "No. I think I'll be fine."
Her voice lowered. "And how are things with the new pack?"
I bit down on my lower lip. "Really good, actually."
Her brows rose quickly, but a small, hopeful smile bloomed on her lips. "Really?"
"Yeah, really." I gave a quick nod. "I actually just went on a run with Larkin and Katy."
Her hand covered her mouth. "You shifted?"
I was still as amazed by it as her. "Yeah. It took some time, but I got it."
"How do you feel?" she pressed, eyes wide.
"Good," I answered honestly. I absently toyed with the wet ends of my hair with the hand not holding the phone. "Mom ... I really like it here."
Her eyes closed for a second and she let out a long breath. "That's great, baby. I'm so glad. I've been worried ... We haven't been apart you entire life, so ..."
"Don't worry," I assured her. "I'm good."
She nodded.
"How's everything in Blackwater?"
I watched as she nibbled her lower lip, obviously thinking about something.
"Mom?" I prompted, narrowing my eyes.
"It's probably nothing," she started, keeping her voice intentionally light. "A shifter has gone missing from the pack."
"Missing?" I repeated. I blinked. What did she mean 'missing'?
"We're not sure exactly what happened. She wasn’t very active in the pack. A lone wolf who showed up a few weeks before we did. She lived on the fringes of town and kept to herself. Gabriel isn't sure if she’s missing or just decided to leave."
"That seems kind of weird." Now that I had found Blackwater, I couldn’t imagine leaving. I had seen the worst a pack had to offer, and I was pretty sure that I was now seeing the best.
Mom pressed her lips together. "It is. Gabriel sent out a search party, but they couldn't get much of a scent. And there's no way of telling when she might have left since she was rarely seen around town. The last time anyone saw her was over a week ago at the café."
"The café where you're working? Zoe's?"
She nodded again. "Yeah. Zoe actually has me managing some shifts for her. She and Michael just found out she's expecting."
My eyes went wide and I grinned. "That's amazing!"
She giggled a little and smiled back. "It is. I'll be handling the restaurant more now. When she goes on maternity leave, I'll take over until she's ready to come back."
"And you like it?"
"I really do. I even got us a two-bedroom apartment in the heart of town," she said. The pride in her voice was tangible and nearly brought me to tears. "It's a few blocks from the café, and it isn't much, but it's ours."
I swallowed around the lump of emotion in my throat. "I'm sur
e it's perfect. I can't wait to see it."
Our own place. An actual home. Something in my chest swelled to near bursting.
"Only a couple of weeks until you're back for Thanksgiving," she chirped happily. "I should have everything set up by then. Zoe and Michael are turning the room I was using into a nursery and offered me the bedroom furniture set at a great discount. The pack has been really supportive. We went on a pack run the other night."
"How was it?"
A dreamy smile slipped across her face. "I forgot how much fun running with a pack could be," she admitted. "I missed it, and I'm glad you're finding your place in the pack."
"Yeah, I guess I am," I replied softly.
She sat up straighter, her green eyes glittering. "So? Any cute boys?"
I groaned and leaned against the wall. "Mom."
She laughed and shrugged. "Come on. You've been there, what? Five days now? I'm sure someone has caught your eye."
The image of Remy ghosted into my mind before I could censor it. I'm not sure what changed in my expression, but Mom immediately latched onto it.
"Tell me!" she demanded, sounding more like Katy or Larkin than my mother.
"It's nothing," I said quickly, feeling my cheeks heat.
"Your lips say nothing, but your blush says something," she teased. "Who is it?"
I was still trying to figure out what to tell her, if anything, when the door opened and Larkin came in.
"Larkin!" I called loudly, grateful for the reprieve.
Larkin froze in the doorway, eyes wide. "Hey. You okay?"
"Talking to my mom," I told her, waving the phone. I flipped it around so they could see each other.
Larkin smiled easily. "Hi, Ms. Parker!' She gave a small wave, dropping her wet towel on the floor. "Nice to meet you. Skye's told me a lot about you."
"Hello, Larkin," Mom greeted warmly. "She's told me a lot about you, too. Thanks for being such a good friend to my girl."
Sanctum (Blackwater Pack Book 1) Page 14
