I know Tess better than to think some gremlin statues scared her off. It had to be something else. John says she came to tell me how she feels about me. Maybe that had something to do with her hellcat tear away into the forest. Maybe she saw me... and got cold feet.
Ice forms in the pit of my stomach at the thought and I push it from my mind.
She got further than I would have imagined. All I saw was the tail end of a fiery red braid leaving the doorway when I heard John shout my name. When I saw the flash of red, I thought it was my imagination—my longing finally coming to a head and creating a hallucination to mend my broken heart. But then I got a glimpse of that ass, covered in the strangest tan shorts, and I knew she was here in the flesh. I called after her, sprinting behind her but damn if that morning running with her didn’t come back to bite me. Fueled by whatever had her fleeing in the first place and her newfound ability, she was so fast I didn’t catch up with her until she fell.
I’ll never forget the way she looked, crumpled amongst the leaves, bleeding from the wound on her head. The translucent lids of her eyes fluttering...
I banish the image. It hurts too much. And it won’t help her to get better.
We’ve got the best doctor in Athens boarding our jet right now. After the boat ride, he should be here within two hours. Our resident doctor is excellent but not specialized in brain injuries and I’m not taking any chances.
Not when it comes to Tess.
I stare at her pale face. The Beauties have done what they can to make her body rest comfortably. Smoothed and braided her hair. Washed her face. Dressed her in a soft cotton gown.
She looks like an angel.
I reach out, stroking back her hair. Murmur to her, “Good girl. You’ll be better soon. You’ll see.” Same as I did for hours as she slept, the night we came home from my brother’s first memorial. I keep watch, my eyes never leaving her face until the doctor finally arrives.
I stand to greet him. The words flow from my mouth, how special she is to me, how imperative it is that he does everything in his power to help her. He’s nodding, ignoring me, moving past me to get to her. I’m blocking his way, impeding his ability to care for her. It’s a strange turn of events to go from being the man others usually look to for their instructions, to now being powerless, useless. Dante comes, takes my arm, and ushers me from the room. I try to fight, to stay, but when Dante whispers in my ear, “It’s what’s best for Tess,” I comply.
I’m outside the room, pacing back and forth down the long corridor. My cousins come to me, offering me whispered words of comfort, food, drink. I decline them all. My brothers come and give me rough, wordless pats on the back, a hand on my shoulder.
I continue to pace.
Dr. Adamos finally emerges from the bedroom. I rush to meet him. Before I can ask of her health, he begins to speak. “She took quite a knock to the head, Rockland. But she’s going to be okay. She’s beginning to wake now. She may experience headaches, some blurred vision but if she begins to vomit—”
I don’t listen to the rest of the speech. As soon as I’ve processed that she’s conscious, I’m pushing past the doctor, the brothers, to get to her.
They know better than to try to stop me this time.
“Tess!”
Her eyes are open and when she sees me, she reaches out a hand. Then, as if stung by a wasp, she snatches it back. Her face crumples.
I kneel at her side, taking her hand in mine. “Tess—what happened?” She’s quiet. All I want in this moment is to hear her voice. I beg, “Speak to me. Princess...”
She stares at the ceiling, her eyes glassy. When she finally speaks, her voice is raspy. “I’m sorry, Rockland. I just want you to be happy. I’ll go back to the Village as soon as Dr. Adamos clears me. I shouldn’t have come here... I shouldn’t have come unannounced. I should have known that you’d have a life here without me—”
I grasp her hand, will her to meet my eye. She continues to stare above her. “Tess, what are you talking about?”
Her head is lolling back on the pillow. Her face pales, exhaustion covering it. Her eyes begin to close as she murmurs, “The woman. The one that made you laugh.”
My brow creases in disbelief as Dr. Adamos arrives at my side. Leaning over my shoulder, he takes one good look at Tess and sends me from the room. “I’m sorry, sir, but it’s too much for her. You’re too much for her right now.”
Shocked, I let them escort me back to the hall as they tell me she needs her rest.
What woman?
Who had I spoken to that morning? It was our usual late morning Saturday brunch. The entire family gathers in my home for food, drinks. To celebrate another good week behind us. I must have spoken to every woman there. How long had she been lurking in the shadows? Or was she startled by the fountain as John thought, then after a head injury, conjured up a mysterious lover in her unconscious mind?
I’m standing outside the room, hands on my hips. Racking my brain. Frustrated, I let out a deep growl, rubbing at my forehead. Adrianna breezes up beside me, her familiar hand lands soft as a bird on my shoulder. She leans over, whispering in my ear, her voice a light trill, “Is she alright? Do you know yet what spooked her?” I turn to Adrianna, her dark eyes wide with concern. She tucks a lock of her long hair behind her ear, awaiting my response.
I take a long look at her. Gazelle-like legs that she gets from my mother’s side of the family. When I started the Parish, many of my extended family members wanted in. Their Italian bloodline already predisposed them to the dark hair and olive complexion of our Greek Bachmans. Turned off by the childlessness at the Village, they didn’t show much interest in signing up for mafia life before, when I was stationed in New York. But here, in the Parish, many of my family have joined me and they are thriving.
I have two cousins being tattooed next week, in fact.
Pulling me from my thoughts, Adrianna says my name, concern etched in her voice, “Rockland, will she be okay? Is your Tessie going to be alright?”
“I think I’ve found what sent our little redheaded friend flying.”
“Tell me—what was it?” she asks.
“You, my darling cousin.”
Her brow knits in distress. “Me? What have I done? What have I said?”
Despite my stress, I smile. “Look at yourself.”
She looks down, inspecting her outfit. “What? Have I spilled something on my dress? Was my button undone?”
I sigh. “No. I think it was the length of your legs.”
She looks at me as if I have just arrived on this planet. She never did know how beautiful she was. Neither did I. She was always my baby cousin—five years younger than me. Brett had already moved out of the house when my aunt had her. It wasn’t until we were older, when my friends started noticing her, that I realized. And now she has the admiration of the single men in the Brotherhood. I’m practically beating them off with a stick. She says, “How could my legs possibly offend a woman I’ve never met?”
I place my hand on her shoulder. “Adrianna, I think Tess might have seen us talking and laughing and thought we were... together.”
Her face forms a mask of horror. “Ew! Gross! Rocky didn’t you ever tell her of your favorite cousin?”
I rub the back of my neck. Confession time. “Come to think of it, no, I didn’t.”
Her face pinches. Shit. Now she’s going hold a grudge about that.
“I’m sorry, it’s just that when I’m with Tess, we don’t talk much about the past—”
“You speak only of your love? You don’t have a few minutes to mention me?” Her hands are on her hips and she’s getting that look she used to get when she would chase me around the yard, threatening to pummel me with her tiny fists.
“I apologize. Truly I do. The next time she wakes, I’ll introduce you,” I say.
“You do that, Rockland Bachman.” She turns on her heel and whisks off. I know she’d give me more hell if I wasn’t in as much pain as I a
m.
I watch her leave—catch a few of the younger men watching her leave as well but with a very different look in their eyes than my own—and chuckle.
It’s true. No one makes me laugh as Adrianna does. But that’s what comes with growing up together. It makes you lifelong best friends. And Tess makes me laugh in a unique way. A sometimes maddening, sometimes heartwarming, but always an I want to throw you on the bed and ravage you kind of way.
And I don’t know how I will get through the next hours, days while she recovers.
How could she think I was with another woman after reading the note that I’d left her?
The words come to my mind now, as they did when I was writing them.
My dearest Tess,
It is with great sorrow in my heart that I leave you today.
These past few weeks with you have been the very best of my life.
The only time I feel completely myself, content, happy, is when I’m with you.
It has been my honor to care for you in your time of need.
The family needs me and I have to return to the Parish.
But if you are ever ready, or wanting to begin a life with me, you need only say the word.
I’ll be waiting.
Forever if it takes that long.
All my love,
Rockland
Then I remember our conversation on the phone. Since I left, I would call her every Sunday night, her time. Sometimes she would answer, others she wouldn’t. Whenever I spoke to her, I’d asked her if she’d read the letter. And she’d said no. Perhaps she never had.
I peek in her door. The doctor gives me a stern look. One of the Beauties playing nurse whispers an apology as she closes it. I can’t stand in this hallway all day—I’ll just get in the way. I’ve got to stay sane until I can be with her again. I’ll do the only thing that’s kept me functioning thus far, in her absence. I’ll go back to work. I stroll out to the veranda to find John. It’s time to seal the deal we’ve been working on.
Chapter Eight
Rockland
A few hours later, Adamos comes for me. I’m having wine and cheese on the veranda with a few of the brothers sent to keep me occupied. I stand quickly, eager for news. He says, “She’s stable. Doing very well. Other than a little headache and a small scar on her forehead that she’ll carry with her for the rest of her life, she’s in perfect health. She’s asking for you.”
I hold myself back from a sprint, jogging down the long hall. When I arrive in her room, I’m struck by how tiny and pale she looks settled amongst the feather pillows, a bandage wrapped around her head.
“Oh, Tessie,” I murmur, rushing to her side. I pull a chair up to her bedside, take a seat. I grab her hand, holding it in both of mine.
It’s trembling.
“Rockland, I’ve asked the others to leave... I need to speak with you. Alone.”
I kneel by her side. “Of course. Anything.” My love.
I press her hand into my palm. Steadying her. She takes a deep breath. Locks eyes on mine. “Rockland, I have a confession.” Her bottom lip begins to tremble, glassy pools form in her eyes.
“Sweetheart. It’s okay. Everything will be okay.” I stroke her hand, her arm, her soft cheek.
“I didn’t read your note. And I guess if I would have it would have stopped me from doing such a foolish thing. God—I’m so embarrassed! A man as handsome and loving and sexy and... of course you have a woman! And if I would have just read your stupid goodbye note, I would have known that and not flown my stupid ass across the world to tell you—”
“Wait. Tess. The woman you saw me with—”
She hold a trembling hand up. There’s dots of perspiration forming on her face. My heart beats faster, worried I’ve upset her. Fearful the doctor will come and remove me from the room, I bite my tongue. She says, “Please don’t interrupt me. I have to say this.”
“You have my undivided attention.” I dry the sweat from her face.
She continues, “You don’t have to explain. You’re a free man with the right to live your real life. Here. With your people. I see how happy you are. How happy... she makes you.” And with that, the dam bursts and the tears flow from her eyes like a rushing river. Sobs rack her body and her shoulders shake.
I’m in shock. I’ve no idea how we’ve gotten to this place of terrible miscommunication. I want to grab her in my arms, hold her. But fear of causing her injury or further distress stops me. I don’t know what to do so I blurt out my own confession, “Tess, I’m in love with you.”
Through the veil of her tears it’s as if she’s not heard me. She sobs, “I know, I know. I know you love her. I could see it on your face.”
“Of course I love her, she’s my—”
“Everything! I know. She’s so beautiful and perfect and—”
I grab her hands in mine and squeeze. “She’s the best damn family any man could ask for.” Finally, she hears me. Her damp face turns to me, her words sticking in her throat, her eyes wide. “Yes, Tess. The woman you saw me with is my kid cousin, Adrianna. This place is crawling with my cousins. And had you read my note, like I asked you to, you would have known that it was not a goodbye. It was a love letter. Telling you if you ever wanted me, I would be waiting. That I would wait forever if it took that long.”
“But... I assumed, I thought... I didn’t read it because I was so scared it was a goodbye. That you cared for me, but you knew you were going back home and that anything we had was... over.”
“Sweetheart—we’ve only just begun.”
I lean down. Inhale the scent that is Tess. Stroke those fiery locks back and softly kiss her lips. “I love you. I’ve always loved you.”
* * *
Tess
I know I heard him say he loves me but it’s not sinking in. My head feels foggy. My eyes are sore from crying.
I belong in the Village.
And after coming here, seeing him in his element, I know he belongs here. I would never take him from his people. Or make him sacrifice them for me. I barely know what I’m saying but I let the words flow from my heart. I whisper the words, “It will never work.”
His face falls, his gaze heavy. He holds my hand tightly as he says, “Why?”
“You’re here. I’m there.”
“We can make it work, Tess.”
There is no hope in my heart. Sometimes, things just don’t work out like you want them to. Coming here has made me realize that we belong in different worlds. I say, “These are your people. You belong with your people.”
His brow knits in a look akin to disbelief. He says, “I care very much for them. But I care for you more. I’m trying to tell you I’ve loved you since I met you. My brother’s wife. I knew it was wrong. I knew he was what you needed and that you’d find every happiness with him and I would never get in the way of that.”
“You’ve—cared for me that long?”
“Right from the moment Brett introduced us. I felt a tug right here,” his hand hovers over his heart, “just at the sight of your face. Beauty edged with determination. And the fire in your eyes. It made me feel something I’d never felt before. And I knew in that moment, I was ruined. But I thought I could handle it. Thought I could keep my place in the Village. Avoid you. I told myself it was nothing but an infatuation. Then I got to know you better. Became enchanted by the sound of your honeyed voice. Maddened by your spoiled nature. After a year, I knew I couldn’t play the happy brother-in-law. And it wouldn’t be fair to Brett, to live alongside him, all the while wanting his wife. So I brought an idea to Bronson. Told him how I felt about you. And that I needed to leave. Bronson understood. Agreed with my notion that having an offshore branch could only benefit the family. I created the Parish to escape the reality of not being with you. And the day of your wedding, I left.”
“I thought you despised me. You were always leering at me...”
“Was I leering? I apologize. I was angry. Angry at myself for lusting af
ter you. And, let’s be honest, you were a bit of a handful. Half the time I was gazing at you I was picturing myself taking you over my knee and spanking that fantastic, sassy ass of yours.”
“I... didn’t know that was the case. I’m sorry you had to go through that. It sounds... impossible. Well, except the part about fantasizing about spanking me. That was just poor manners on your part.” My joke is rewarded with a crooked half smile that melts my heart. His features soften as he gazes at me, making me brave enough to ask, “Why’d you never tell me how you felt?”
“It would be against the code of the Brotherhood. Against my own personal moral code. You were Brett’s. And I would never do anything to come between the two of you. Hence why I felt it was best if I left.”
“What you’ve created here... it’s amazing. You’ve built a wonderful life for yourself.”
“It’s true. My life is here. But my heart has always been with you. I would do anything to be with you. Only one thing would stop me.”
I feel as if I can’t breathe. “What would stop you?”
“The only thing keeping me from living the rest of my life caring for you, protecting you, loving you, pleasuring you... is you.”
“What do you mean?”
“I never wanted to force myself on you. Knowing how strongly I felt about you, I didn’t want to influence your decision. Or say, become a crutch for you in your time of grief and loneliness that you confused for love. I wanted to see if you came to those feelings for me on your own. If it was love. If you wanted me.” His gaze burns through mine. My heart stops beating in my chest. He opens his mouth slowly and I hold my breath, awaiting his words. He says, “Tess, I’m in love with you. I always have been.”
Deep down, buried within me, had I somehow known this? Chosen Brett because he was the right man for me at the time, the safe choice? Was he the Bachman that I needed in my life? But now, with Brett gone, and Rockland taking his place in the hierarchy, it seems as if fate has placed us here. As if the wondrous universe knew that with the passing of my beloved Brett, the healing for both Rockland and me would be found in one another’s arms?
Rockland: A Mafia Billionaire Romance Page 14
