by S. C. Wilson
“Frieda! I’ve missed you,” she said, body quivering.
“Oh, I’ve missed you too. We don’t have much time.” Frieda’s voice trembled as she broke the embrace.
“Am I dead?” Jesse asked.
“No, dear. But you must choose your path.”
She cocked her head. “What do you mean?”
“You can choose to stay here with us—”
“Us?”
“Yes, everyone’s inside waiting for you.” Frieda tilted her head toward the cabin.
Jesse pointed at the door. “You mean my family’s in there?”
Frieda nodded. “Along with Nathaniel and Patrick. We're all here for you.”
When Jesse turned to run toward the door, Frieda grabbed her by the arm, grip firm. “Wait!”
“But I want to see them.”
“I know you do,” Frieda said, “but you must choose your path first.”
“I don’t understand.”
“You can go through that door,” Frieda said, pointing, “and stay here with us. Or you can go back.”
“Why would I leave? I want to see them.” When she tried to move again, Frieda’s grip tightened almost painfully. The firmness was tender, not unkind.
“Jessica, we will always be here waiting for you, but think about the life you’d leave behind.” This time, she pointed behind Jesse.
Jesse turned to see a vision form in the air so vividly she tried to reach out and grab it. She could see Abby pacing the cabin, worry written all over her face. The twins, the beautiful babies, slept in their cradle. The cradle she had made.
The scene flickered. Toby came into view. Something was happening to him. He was in pain. That was all Jesse could make out before the scene vanished, leaving her feeling like she’d been struck by lightning. She had been so caught up with the overwhelming desire to see her family, she had completely forgotten about them. She faced Frieda.
“I must go,” Frieda said. “You have to choose now. You can walk through the door with me, or you can turn, go down those steps, and go back to your life.”
Jesse wrapped her arms around Frieda and squeezed her eyes shut. “I love you. Will you tell them I love them too and I miss them?”
“Jessica, I love you too and they already know,” Frieda said, voice fading.
When Jesse opened her eyes, she was standing alone on the porch, her own arms hugging herself. Frieda was gone.
She kissed the palm of her hand, placed it on the weathered wood of the door, and then turned and walked toward the steps. As her foot touched the top tread, another flash of bright light overwhelmed her. She shielded her eyes.
Chapter Twelve
Jesse jolted awake, tears streaming down her flushed cheeks. Dreams, vivid but elusive, evoked such strong emotions she wondered if they were simply crazy imaginings or something more spiritual.
No longer an icy blue, the walls of her crevasse tomb had changed considerably. The flickering shades of orange and red she saw conjured up thoughts of hell.
Is this my penance for being with Abs? The thought stole the air from her lungs.
She squeezed her eyes shut, blocking out the menacing flames that threatened to engulf her. Inhaling, she swore she could still smell Frieda, whose clothing always held the smoky scent of her pipe. She shook her head to clear it.
Frieda is gone. It’s just your mind playing tricks.
Fear unabated, she kept her eyes closed and inhaled again. It wasn’t the burning sulfur she had expected, but she recognized it immediately—the same herbal aroma that rose from the pipe she’d shared with the tribal elders.
Slowly, cautiously, she peeked through eyelids which were nothing more than slits. Shadows danced on the walls through a smoke-filled haze.
She gasped. Her whole body tensed at the touch of a hand on her shoulder. She looked up at a face both blurry and familiar, perhaps another trick of her eyes. “Toby?” So weak, the name left her lips like dry leaves crunched underfoot.
Her brother smiled wide. “I was beginning to wo-wonder if you were ever going to wake up,” he said, voice thick with relief.
She closed her eyes again, mind whirling at how she had ended up in one of the caverns the natives called home during the winter months. The last thing she remembered was Abby standing at the doorway to the cabin, worry in her stance and sadness in her eyes.
Abby! Jesse called out. She sat up in a rush, sending pain shooting through her chest and leg. Moaning, she put a hand on her ribs and reached for the throbbing in her leg with the other. The touch only seemed to spread the inflammation around. It was too much. She collapsed back onto the pelt. “Did I break my leg?” she asked.
Toby shook his head. “I don’t th-think so. But, the top of your knee was off to the side. You messed it up real good.”
“How long have I been here?” She was still trying to put together the puzzle, but knew she had not yet found all the pieces.
Toby gently rubbed his thumb on her shoulder. “Going on three weeks now.”
She noticed the stick he was leaning on for support. “Your feet. How are they?”
“I’m all r-right. Don’t wo-worry about me.”
“Where’s Abby? The twins—” she said, trying to lean up on an elbow. The simple action made her aching ribs sing out. She grimaced as she eased her head back down.
“They’re all fine,” he said. He shifted his focus. “Aren’t they?”
Jesse turned her head and saw Aponi. “You left them there? Alone?” she asked, incredulously.
Aponi stepped closer. “No. Honovi and Onawa are with her.”
Jesse breathed a sigh of relief. “How did I get here?” she asked.
“A few days after you left, Abby had a bad feeling. She felt something was wrong. She wanted me to come to village to see if you were here. When I found out you never made it, we started to look for you. We never would have found you if not for the red snow.”
Jesse replayed the words over and over in her mind.
Red snow?
A thick fog hung over her memories. She struggled to process the information, reaching for the little bits and pieces visible through the haze.
Red Snow?
She closed her eyes, pushing back against the growing mist shrouding the memory she searched for.
Red snow?
Then it hit her. She recalled being back in the snow, flashes of fur and teeth as she fought off the mountain lion with nothing but her wits and an eight-inch blade. She remembered the bloody scene, the whole area looked as if it had been doused with red paint, unreal yet terrifyingly real. Her body shivered despite the heat of the nearby fire.
Aponi continued. “Not far from there, we saw a large hole in the ground. Saw you lying at the bottom—”
Jesse cut her off, suddenly recalling the fall. “How’d you get me out of there?”
“Kaga ran back to the village to get rope,” Aponi said. “Then, he climbed down to get you. It took many of our men to lift you out. Now, you drink,” she said, handing Jesse a wooden bowl.
Knowing the concoction was bound to be bitter, Jesse downed the warm drink as fast as she could. She grimaced and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. “Does Abby know I’m all right?” she asked.
Aponi shook her head. “Weather turned. No way to get there. No way for them to get here.” She took the bowl from her. “You rest now.”
“She must be worried s-s-sick,” Jesse said, her words already slurring. Fighting against the effects of the native medicine, she struggled for a few moments to keep sleep at bay. It was no use. Her eyelids flitted a couple of times and then closed, catapulting her into a bottomless sleep.
Jesse woke to hushed murmurings. Toby and Aponi stood close together, their muted tones too low for her to make out. She stayed silent, watching and trying to listen. Her eyes went wide when she noticed they were holding hands.
Sensing Jesse’s watchful gaze upon them, Toby quickly let go of Aponi’s hand. He limped ove
r to her with the use of his cane.
“Are you in pain?” Jesse asked.
Toby looked down at his sister on her pallet. “Not really. Just trying to adjust to walking without tw-two of my toes.”
Jesse gasped. “You lost toes?”
“Yes. Too far gone to save ‘em.” He shrugged. “Best to just cut th-them off.”
Jesse wanted to be furious he’d put his life in jeopardy, but how could she be mad? If not for his heroics, she surely would have lost Abby and the twins. What her life would have been like after, she didn’t want to imagine.
“I’m so sorry, Toby.” She took hold of his hand. “I can’t believe you risked your life like that.” She squeezed. “You saved Abby and the twins. I’m forever grateful to you, brother.”
“Aponi told me she had two. A boy and a girl.” A smiled darted across his face. “I guess two toes for two babies is a fair tr-trade.”
“Can you help me up?” she asked, reaching out, more than ready to get on her feet again. The sooner she was up and moving, the sooner she could get home.
Unfortunately, Mother Nature had plans of her own. The usual February snow fell relentlessly. For day after agonizing day, the blizzard kept Jesse separated from Abby and the babies.
A break came three weeks later, clouds giving way to cobalt skies and unseasonably warm temperatures. Soon, if the weather cooperated, it would allow travel across the mountain. It had seemed an eternity to Jesse—six insufferable weeks since she had last seen Abby and the babies. The extra time had been a blessing in a way. At least it had given her body more time to heal.
Jesse and Toby set out as the dawn kissed the horizon. They both struggled with their own injuries, almost hobbling at the more difficult points of the journey. When they reached the lake, they came upon Honovi and Onawa, who were also taking advantage of the weather to return to their village. Abby had sent them to see if they could find out what had happened. She feared Jesse had fallen victim to the blizzard.
Reaching the cabin and its vulnerable occupants became even more urgent. Honovi and Onawa continued toward the tribe, while Jesse and Toby pushed their bodies, racing to get home as quickly as possible. The gravity drove them, giving strength to their muscles and numbing the pain that screamed from their bones.
Jesse’s heart thumped like a drum when she saw the chimney smoke hanging above the pine trees. They were close. She cursed the splint on her leg, the shackle prohibiting her from running the final yards.
After what seemed like an endless journey, they stepped onto the familiar old porch. It creaked under her foot, a happy song she knew so well and had almost forgotten. She opened the door.
The rockers on Abby’s chair slowed, and her back and forth rock came to an abrupt stop. Frieda’s old heirloom sat motionless for the first time in weeks.
Abby sat in stunned silence as she tried to comprehend what was right in front of her eyes. For a fleeting moment, it seemed surreal. Recognition hit her like a torrent. She leapt from her seat in front of the fire, abandoned chair teetering wildly as she ran into Jesse’s waiting arms.
They wept, clinging to each other in an embrace neither wanted to break.
Abby’s body went limp in Jesse’s arms.
“Toby,” Jesse said, using all her strength to keep Abby off the floor. “Help me.”
They aided her to the bed.
Abby’s eyes fluttered. “If this is a dream,” she said, looking up at them, “I don’t want to wake up. Are you real?”
“You’re not dreaming. We’re home.” Jesse sat gently on the bed next to her. “Are you all right?”
“I thought you were dead,” she said, breathlessly. “Honovi and Onawa told me you never made it to their village. I thought you froze to death out there.”
Jesse leaned down and kissed her, letting her mouth linger on Abby’s salty, wet cheek. “I’m sorry I put you through that,” she said, looking her in the eyes. “How are the babies?” She craned her neck, trying to see inside the cradle.
“They’re fine. It’s just been a living nightmare. I still can’t believe you’re here,” Abby said, pulling her close. Her pounding heart kept time with Jesse’s. Abby shifted her focus to Toby. “It’s good to see you too. Thank God both of you are safe.”
He smiled. “Good to be home.”
Jesse got up and went to the cradle. “They’ve grown since the last time I saw them,” she said, taking off her coat. She blew warm air into her hands and rubbed them together before picking Jim up. “There’s my big man. Did you hold down the fort while I was gone?” she asked, and then kissed him on the cheek. “I’ve missed you all so much.” She cradled him in her arm and lightly ran her finger over his chin.
“We’ve missed you, too,” Abby said, “More than you could ever imagine.”
Jesse returned Jim to the cradle, placing him gently beside his sister. She reached for Gwen. “There’s my beautiful girl,” she said, kissing her on the forehead. Cradling her safely in her arms, she carried her to the rocking chair. She kicked her splinted leg out in front of her and took a seat, basking in the crackling heat.
Abby took a seat across from her. “What happened to your leg?”
Jesse filled Abby in on every detail, even telling her about the vivid dreams she still wasn’t fully convinced were dreams at all. She knew her body was at the native village—at times she could hear them speaking to her in her subconscious—but her visions were too substantial to be dreams. They seemed more like premonitions. Frieda felt too real.
Abby was mortified to learn what Toby had sacrificed to get help. She would never be able to repay the debt to her brother-in-law, but loved him more than she ever had. He truly was her hero.
Toby slept soundly in the loft as night fell, his incessant snoring resonating throughout the cabin.
Jesse pulled the curtain closed and slipped into a pair of long underwear. She sidled onto the bed and leaned up on an elbow, watching in awe as Abby nursed Jim. “I’ll burp him when he’s done,” she said. “I’ve missed doing that.”
When Jim’s suckling ceased, Abby handed him over and put Gwen to her other breast. Jesse stood next to the bed and patted Jim lightly on the back. Once he let out a soft belch, she kissed him and put him in the cradle. She sat next to Abby and waited for Gwen to finish. The thin lips pressed against her mother seemed so fragile she found herself overcome with emotion. She would do anything to protect these children—her children.
Abby handed Gwen to Jesse. “When she’s done, don’t put her in with him,” she said. “They tend to wake each other. If you want any sleep tonight, it’s best to keep one in the bed.”
Jesse lay down next to Abby, Gwen resting on her chest. With an arm around Abby, she lightly rubbed Gwen’s back, sending the infant straight to sleep. “I had a lot of time to think while we were apart,” Jesse said. “I don’t want to live up here anymore.”
“But Jesse,” Abby said, stunned, “this is your home. Our home.”
“I know, but I don’t think this is the best place for us anymore.”
Abby sat up. “Where is this coming from?”
“I don’t want them growing up in this old, drafty cabin surrounded by danger.” She looked down at the tiny girl sleeping on her chest. “I don’t want this life for them. I’ve seen what their lives can be and they won’t have that if we stay up here.”
“Where would we go?”
Jesse shrugged. “I don’t know. We’ll have to choose a path and see where it leads us. What do you think?”
Abby brushed Jesse’s bangs aside and ran her fingers over her forehead, pausing on the small crescent-shaped scar. “I think you’ve just been through a lot. Things seem worse right now.”
“Abs, I’ve lived here for twelve years. This wasn’t the first time I’ve almost died up here.” Jesse’s tone was resolute. “I couldn’t live with myself if something ever happened to any of you.”
“This is what I didn’t want.” Abby shook her head. “I
don’t want us to be the reason you give up your way of life.”
“It’s not the life I want anymore. And another thing, we have no privacy.” She flailed a hand at the small space around them. “We’ve been apart for weeks and I still can’t be with you the way I want to.”
Abby’s lips stretched into a smile. She knew exactly how Jesse felt. “Having our own space would be nice. You know I have some money saved up. It won’t get us too far, but it’s a start.”
Jesse put a hand behind her head, keeping the other resting lightly on Gwen’s back. “If you could go anywhere, where would you go?”
Abby considered it. “Um…I think it would be wise to go to a big city. There’d be more opportunity for us, and everyone won’t know everyone’s business like they do in small towns.”
“Like Big Oak?”
Abby shook her head. “Oh, no. More like San Francisco.”
“Huh. I guess we have time to figure it out,” Jesse said, eyes fixed on Gwen. “They’re too little to make that trip now anyway.”
“Actually, it might be easier on them to take them down while they’re still babies. More than likely they’d sleep most of the way.”
“So, you think we should leave this summer?”
“I don’t see why we couldn’t,” she said. “Why put it off if it’s what you really want to do?”
Jesse nodded. “I do, but I’m not sure how Toby’s going to feel about it. I think he might want to stay here.”
“What makes you say that?” Abby asked, cocking her head.
“I caught him and Aponi holding hands.” The corners of Jesse’s mouth twitched. “Something about the way they were looking at each other, well…might be something to it.”
“Did you ask him about it?”
“Uh-uh. I don’t think he wants me to know or he would’ve said something. I’ll wait and see if he brings it up first. If not, I’ll ask him about it and see what he wants to do.” Jesse shifted the conversation. “Have you ever been to San Francisco?”
