Yes. I might need a lot of help. But if I got the kind of help I wanted, he’d be free to fly off to his island with his fortune, and leave me alone in the South-Central Pride. And as lonely as I’d been before Justus—before I’d understood how much happier I could truly be—post-Justus loneliness would no doubt be even worse.
Having something and losing it was worse than never having it in the first place.
But he said he’d never leave again.
Yes. He had. But people say a lot of things they don’t mean in moments of stress or relief. And they’re not even always lying. Sometimes they’re just…wrong.
Justus couldn’t stay unless we found him one more vote. And even if we did, who was to say that he’d stay after his acquittal? He wouldn’t need me anymore, and even though he liked me now, once the novelty wore off and that inevitable boredom set in, I’d still be the man-eater, and he’d still be one of the hottest, wealthiest, most eligible tomcats in the history of ever. Even if he was a stray.
“Kaci?”
“Um…no, I’m fine,” I called through the door, as I flipped the stupid drain switch again.
“You don’t sound sure of that. I promise I won’t try anything.” The next thunk against the door sounded more like his head than his knuckles. “Please let me help you.”
“Okay. Hang on.” Against my better judgement, I wrapped myself in a towel, flinching when the motion twisted my left arm and reopened my laceration, then I opened the door. “I’m really fine. I’m just grimy, and…” I shrugged and held my left arm out. “This hurts like a bitch.”
“And bath water will probably sting.” He glanced at the tub. “If we’re able to actually accomplish a bath.” Justus sat on the edge of the tub and flipped the drain switch. But the water only drained faster. He flipped it again, then shoved up even harder with the heel of his palm.
Something clicked beneath the tub, and the water started collecting.
“Thanks.” I opened a travel-sized bar of soap from the sink and set it on the edge of the tub. “Um… Could you grab my shampoo?”
“Sure.”
While he was gone, I laid my towel on the floor and stepped into the tub, then tucked my knees up to my chest. Technically, this was still post-shift nudity, which should have been void of any sexual context, but the addition of a bathtub and warm water seemed to push the whole thing into a gray area. A very, very tempting gray area.
Justus came back with both the shampoo and conditioner from my backpack, and he stopped in the doorway as if he’d hit a brick wall. “Sorry. I knew you’d be naked, and I swear I’m not staring. I’m just… You’re so beautiful.”
“I’m covered in blood and grime.” I hugged my knees to my torso.
“You could be covered in vomit and sludge and I’d still think you were the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”
I tried to cover my self-consciousness with a laugh. “I’m already wearing the ring. You don’t have to say things like that anymore.”
“I’m not saying them on purpose.” He sank onto his knees next to the tub, on the towel I’d laid on the floor. “I don’t seem to have much control over my own mouth when you’re near. Especially when you’re naked. But again, for the record, this is not real nudity, nor will I treat it as such. This is injured-nudity.”
And I would lay my injured arm on the side of the tub to remind us both of that, if I wouldn’t be exposing the side of my left breast with the motion.
“So, what can I…?”
“Um…” Normally, I’d lie down in the tub to wet my hair, but I wasn’t about to stretch out naked in front of him. “Can you grab one of those?” I nodded to the cellophane-wrapped plastic cups stacked on the counter. “To help with my hair?”
He grabbed the top cup and tore off the wrapper, then sat on the edge of the tub and held it beneath the flow of water from the faucet. “Tilt your head back.”
I obeyed, my eyes closed, and he poured the water over my hair slowly. “That feels so good,” I whispered. “I hate being dirty.”
He laughed. “Except when you eat desert.”
I opened my eyes and glared up at him. “Ha, ha. Maybe you could hand me my shampoo without commentary?”
He grinned as he grabbed the bottle from the counter, but instead of giving it to me, he squirted some right onto the top of my head.
I gasped. I could tell from the weight of the glob alone that it was way too much.
“Was that wrong?” He frowned down at my head. “How do I do this? I’ve never washed this much hair before.”
“And I had no plans to change that.” I reached up, tucking my knees tighter to my chest, and showed him how to work the shampoo into a lather, while incorporating the bulk of my hair.
“Let me help.”
“That’s okay.” I flinched when my lathering motion pulled on my laceration.
“You’re in pain. Let me do it. Please.”
“Fine.” The shampoo was my favorite part of a trip to the salon. Faythe hated having her hair done, but Karen and I went every few months, so she could get her straight, gray hair trimmed back to shoulder length, and I could get mine… well, washed and blown out. Though that was as adventurous as I’d gotten so far.
“How’s that?” Justus asked. His fingers were strong, but unsure.
“It’s good.”
“You’re lying. If you tell me something feels good when it doesn’t, you’re really just cheating yourself out of pleasure.”
“Did you mean for that to sound dirty?” I demanded, scowling up at him.
He grinned down at me. “Will you get mad if I say yes?”
“Yes.” But even I didn’t believe me. “You have to kind of work the lather all over. Like you do with your own hair, but without massively tangling the length of it.”
“I’m on it.” By the time my hair and scalp were thoroughly clean, his fingers felt so good that I let him keep going just for the fun of it. “I think we’re ready to rinse, right?”
“Not just yet. Keep scrubbing.”
“Are you sure?”
“My hair was really dirty.”
Justus scooped up a cup full of water and dumped it right over my face.
I sputtered at him in shock and wiped my eyes with my right hand. Then I flicked water at him. “Jerk.”
“Sorry. I couldn’t resist. Let me rinse your hair for real. I’ll be good, I promise.” But I was no longer sure I wanted him to be good.
After the shampoo, I let him rub conditioner into my hair, but then I made him leave the room to let it sit while I washed the rest of myself on my own. One handed.
While he was gone, I heard the microwave buzz, and the scent of lasagna wafted in from under the door.
Then he came back to rinse out the conditioner, and he even closed his eyes while he helped me out of the tub. I dried off, careful of my left arm, then stepped into the clothes he brought me while he set up the first aid center at the table in the other room.
We shared the microwave lasagna right out of the box, eating with plastic forks, washing down bites of cheese and pasta with sips from lukewarm cans of soda. Then his gaze settled on my still mostly-open wound.
His phone buzzed with a text while he was peeling the seal from the bottle of alcohol. I glanced at it, and the blood drained from my face. “Why is Vic texting you?” I demanded. “What did you do?”
He gave me a guilty look. “I didn’t mention that? Marc’s sending them up from Phoenix to meet us.” He glanced at the text. “And they’re evidently about an hour away.”
“No!” I grabbed the phone from him, but I didn’t know the code to unlock it. “They’ll take us back to the ranch, Justus!”
“Um…that’s kind of the plan.”
“No!” I stood and backed away from him, clutching my still oozing arm to my chest. “That is not the plan. We’re going to get you that other vote.”
“Well, we’re going to have to do that from the Lazy S. If Blackwell ge
ts you into his territory, he can try you for trespassing there, under his own terms. Marc says he won’t hurt you, but he seems to think the old man’s not above using you as a pawn to get to me. Or to force some other decision to go his way with the council. We have to take you home, so you can be tried there. Under Marc and Faythe’s terms.”
“But what about Taylor’s vote?”
“We have a long drive back to think about that. And we’ll still be together.” He sighed. “Please sit down and let me clean that cut out before it scabs over.”
“There’s no real danger of that. I’ve broken it open about four times.”
“Then let’s bandage it up.” He laid a clean, folded rag from the bathroom on the table. “Set your arm here. Come on, Kaci, I’m trying to help you.”
“I liked the shampooing help better than the kind where you decide to take us back to Texas without consulting me.”
“You were kind of out of reach at the time, and I had to call Marc. I didn’t know if Jared was taking you on behalf of the Southwest Pride, or for his own nefarious purposes, and without knowing that, I couldn’t tell whether he’d taken you north or south. If I hadn’t called him, I wouldn’t have found you, and you’d be back at the old man’s compound right now, getting ready for a hearing in his puppet court.”
“No, I’d probably still be in that little patch of woods.”
“Bleeding,” he insisted. “Waiting for Jared to get free of the paramedics and come after you. Or for Blackwell to send more of his men for you.”
“Fine.” He was right. But I didn’t have to like it. I sank into the chair he’d pulled out for me and laid my arm on the rag.
“This will sting,” he said as he lifted the bottle of alcohol.
“It’s not my first cut, Justus,” I snapped.
He sat in the other chair and leveled a gaze at me. “Would you rather do this yourself?”
“No. I’m sorry. I just…”
“You just what?” He poured alcohol into the lid of the bottle, then dribbled it from the lid onto my arm.
My wound bubbled, as if the alcohol were as angry as I was, and the burn was pretty fierce. And cathartic. “I don’t want this to be over, and once Vic and Chris get here, it will be. They’ll break this spell, or whatever this is.”
Justus set the bottle down and took my right hand in both of his. “Kaci. This won’t be over until you want it to be over.”
“That’s cute.” I sounded so bitter I even surprised myself. “If we don’t get you that vote, they’re going to convict you. If we run, they’ll come after me. This will be over no matter what we want, one way or another, and I’ve known that the whole time. It’s just…as long as it was you and me on a road trip we kept inventing reasons to prolong, ‘together’ at least looked possible. Hell, ‘forever’ looked possible. But now, Vic and Chris are on their way, and we’re going to lose this…” I squeezed his hand. “…this private moment in an hour.”
“I’m sorry.” He picked up a long strip of sterile bandage and began to wrap it around my wrist. “I had to call Marc. I wasn’t going to risk losing you just because…”
Because he was too afraid or proud to ask for help. He wasn’t going to say it out loud. But that was the truth. He’d given up his chance to run, so he could go after me.
Justus secured the end of the bandage in place with a metal butterfly clip. “It’ll probably need stitches soon, but…”
I stood and climbed into his lap, straddling him on the cheap, armless hotel dining chair.
“What are you doing?” His hands settled onto my hips. His heart began to race, and the sound gave me an exhilarating, powerful feeling.
“Whatever I want.”
“Are you sure?” His gaze bored into me, searching for doubt.
“Don’t read too much into this,” I whispered as I leaned toward him and my wet hair fell over us both. “I just want… Um… I want to at least pretend this is forever.”
“This doesn’t have to be pretend.” He slid one hand behind my neck and kissed me. “I’m not asking for the ring back.” Another kiss. “I wouldn’t take it if you tried to give it back.”
His lips moved down my throat, and I let my head fall back. His hands tightened on my hips, then slid up my sides, over my shirt, and suddenly that wasn’t enough. I wanted to feel his hands on my skin.
But I couldn’t ask for that. I couldn’t even tell him that. So maybe…
I leaned down for another kiss and as I tugged his lower lip into my mouth, I slid my hands beneath his shirt, over each ridge of his abs, pulling the material up as I went. “You’re so…” I murmured against the corner of his mouth.
“So what?” He seemed hungry for my answer. As if he needed to hear the words.
“So…hard.”
Justus threw his head back, laughing, and my face burned.
“What?” I demanded, humiliated, as I tried to stand up.
“No, don’t go.” He held me in place on his lap, his grip firm, but not unbreakable. “It’s just, that’s not usually what girls are touching when they say that.”
“Usually?”
He frowned. “No. Never mind. There is no ‘usually.’ There is only now. Only you.”
“But there was a usually?” I let his shirt fall back into place. Of course there was. Justus was gorgeous, and rich, and funny. He could have any girl he wanted, and he probably had. “How usual was this usually? I mean, other than Ivy.”
“Kaci, don’t…” He stopped and took a deep breath. “Let’s make a deal. I’m not going to ask you that, and you won’t ask me.”
I shrugged. “You can ask me.”
“But I wouldn’t. I heard you bring guys back to the ranch at least once a week, but I’m not going to ask you for a number.”
“I’m going to give you one anyway.” I crossed my arms over my chest, careful of the bandage. “Zero.”
“What?” His head tilted in a look of skepticism that would have been adorable, if it weren’t so obviously insulting. “How can it be zero?”
“Because it’s zero. I’ve never…had sex.”
“Whoa. Wait.” He picked me up and set me on my feet, then stood and backed away.
“Where are you going? Virginity isn’t contagious, Justus.”
“I know, I just… How can you be a virgin?”
I shrugged. “None of the shifter guys were interested, so…” I frowned, my gaze narrowed on him. “You mean, out of all those conversations we had on our ‘wedding night,’ I never told you I was a virgin?”
“No.” He scowled. “And do not put ‘wedding night’ in air quotes. That really happened. We really got married.”
“Then why are you standing across the room now, like you’re afraid of me?”
“Because… I’m not…” He scrubbed his face with both hands, then started over. “You never answered the question. Which is still, ‘how can you be a virgin?’ You’re beyond gorgeous. None of the guys at school…?” He shook his head again, and I got the impression he was waiting for me to take it all back. To tell him I’d been joking. “None of the guys in the barn? You can’t tell me none of them were interested. Until a few months ago, I was a human guy, and I would have…” He waved one hand in a vague gesture at my body. “In a heartbeat.”
“So then, why are you standing all the way over there? If we’re really married, you’re allowed to…” I threw his hand gesture back at him.
“Are you asking me to?” He propped his hands on his narrow hips. “Have we switched sides on this?”
“I don’t know.” I ran my hands through my hair, just to have something to do with them. “Do you not want to, now?”
“Do you want to?”
“I always wanted to. Wanting you wasn’t the problem.”
“Oh my God, Kaci,” he groaned, as if I’d just said the most erotic thing in the world. He started to reach for me, and my pulse whooshed in my ears. Then he stepped away again and gripped the back of one of the
dining chairs so hard that the wood creaked.
“Okay, you can’t do that anymore, Justus. This back and forth is…not good for my ego. Do you want me or not?”
Another groan. “More than anything in the world.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
“Nothing.” He scrubbed his face again. “Virginity is a lot of pressure for a guy.”
“And it’s not for a girl?”
“That’s not the same. And don’t tell me that’s sexist. A guy’s going to have a good time either way. But a girl is…harder to please. And the first time is…”
I waited for more, but nothing more came. “So, you wish I’d already been with a few guys, so this would be easier for you?”
“Hell no,” he growled. “I just…I don’t want to mess this up.”
I laughed, and I have to admit, I was a little happy to see him actually flush. “Are you telling me you’re not any good?” I teased. “Because that’s fine, if that’s what you’re saying. I won’t know the difference. I just didn’t expect you to admit that—”
Justus scowled. “That is not what I’m saying. I’ve never had any complaints.”
“Out of all those girls…” I teased. “How many was that again?”
“Nice try. I’m sorry. This isn’t a deal breaker, obviously. I just wasn’t expecting it.”
“Well, if being your wife’s first is too much pressure for you, I’m sure I can find someone out there willing to do the job. We are at an eighty-nine-dollar-a-night-motel, after all.” I stepped toward the door, reaching for the knob. “There’s bound to be—”
“No,” he growled again as he slid between me and the door, his gray eyes flashing. “Mine.” He picked me up by the waist and swung me around, and I squealed as he tossed me onto the bed.
“Well, that was a quick change of heart.” I scooted backward toward the pillows, ignoring the ache in my bandaged arm.
“Says the girl who wouldn’t even let me see her in the bathtub.” He climbed onto the bed and crawled toward me like a predator stalking prey, his gaze pinning me, his mouth turned up into a heated grin.
“You’ve seen me naked,” I said as he crawled over me, sliding his knee between my legs on the way. “You weren’t missing anything.”
Wild Card Page 17
