No arguments shall be wanting on my part that can alleviate so severe a misfortune – or that may comfort you, under a circumstance that must be of all others most afflicting to a parent’s mind. The death of your daughter would have been a blessing in comparison to this. And it is the more to be lamented because there is reason to suppose, as my dear Charlotte informs me, that this licentiousness of behaviour in your daughter has proceeded from a faulty degree of indulgence; though, at the same time, for the consolation of yourself and Mrs Bennet, I am inclined to think that her own disposition must be naturally bad, or she could not be guilty of such an enormity, at so early an age.
Howsoever that may be, you are grievously to be pitied; in which opinion I am not only joined by Mrs Collins, but likewise by Lady Catherine and her daughter, to whom I have related the affair. They agree with me in apprehending that this false step in one daughter will be injurious to the fortunes of all the others; for who, as Lady Catherine herself condescendingly says, will connect themselves with such a family? And this consideration leads me moreover to reflect, with augmented satisfaction, on a certain event of last November; for had it been otherwise, I must have been involved in all your sorrow and disgrace. Let me advise you then, my dear sir, to console yourself as much as possible, to throw off your unworthy child from your affection for ever, and leave her to reap the fruits of her own heinous offence.
I am, sir, your affectionate but aggrieved cousin,
William Collins
Longbourn,
near Meryton,
Hertfordshire.
4th September, 1792
Dear Sir,
No doubt, by now, the talkative and well-meaning Lucases will have informed you that Lydia is married to Wickham. I must confess I am not happy but it is done and done for the best. And while I must appreciate all your advice and warnings on the matter, we must bear this situation as best we can. Would he were sent to the East Indies for, I must confess, I cannot bear the sight of him.
My wife, and even Kitty, appear pleased with this patched-up marriage. Jane, Elizabeth and Mary take a graver opinion on the matter, as do I. We are indebted to the Gardiners beyond words. It is a subject I cannot dwell on for long. Please, for my sake, let not us speak often on the subject.
Your cousin,
Henry Bennet
Hunsford,
near Westerham,
Kent.
2nd October, 1792
Dear Sir,
I find, indeed, I have so much to say and know not where to begin. Yesterday, we received a letter from Lady Lucas informing us of the recent engagement of my dear cousin, Jane, to the very worthy Mr Bingley of Netherfield Hall. On this piece of news, may I offer you and all the Bennet family my deepest and sincerest congratulations. While I recall that we had all once anticipated a happy ending in that quarter, it was my understanding that all hopes had been extinguished and to learn that such an elevation should occur so close on the heels of the disgraceful marriage of my youngest cousin, Lydia, who will now become sister-in-law of the distinguished Bingley, is quite remarkable indeed. Such was my bewilderment that I enquired of Mrs Collins as to whether the gentleman was aware of the scandal, to which she assured me that it was commonly known and spoken about in Meryton circles. Having met Mr Bingley myself and finding that he was sound of mind, I must assume that he was captivated by my cousin’s charms, for he certainly did not marry for the very acceptable motives of status, wealth or connections. Howsoever that may be, it is a most wonderful advancement for all at Longbourn and is to be broadcast abroad, where it will be of use to all the Bennet family, including my good self, who may also benefit, at some future date, from so dignified a connection.
Having thus offered you the sincere congratulations of Mrs Collins and myself on this happy event, let me now add a short hint on the subject of another; for which we have been advertised by the same authority. Your daughter Elizabeth, it is presumed, will not long bear the name of Bennet, after her elder sister has resigned it, and the chosen partner of her fate may be reasonably looked up to as one of the illustrious personages in this land. This gentleman is blessed, in a peculiar way, with everything the heart of mortal can most desire – splendid property, noble kindred and extensive patronage. Yet, in spite of all these temptations, let me warn my cousin Elizabeth, and yourself, of what evils you may incur by a precipitate closure with this gentleman’s proposals, which, of course, you will be inclined to take immediate advantage of.
My motive for cautioning you is as follows: we have reason to imagine that his aunt, Lady Catherine de Bourgh, does not look on the match with a favourable eye. After mentioning the likelihood of this marriage to her ladyship last night, she immediately, with her usual condescension, expressed what she felt on the occasion; when it became apparent, that on the score of some family objections as regards my cousin, she would never give her consent to what she termed so disgraceful a match. I thought it my duty to give the speediest intelligence of this to my cousin, that she and her noble admirer might be aware of what they are about, and not run hastily into a marriage which has not been properly sanctioned.
I am truly rejoiced that my cousin Lydia’s sad business has been so well hushed up, and am only concerned that their living together before the marriage took place should be so generally known. I must not, however, neglect the duties of my station, or refrain from declaring my amazement, at hearing that you received the young couple into your house as soon as they were married. It was an encouragement of vice; and had I been the rector of Longbourn, I should very strenuously have opposed it. You ought certainly to forgive them, as a Christian, but never to admit them in your sight, or allow their names to be mentioned in your hearing.
By now, you will have been informed by Elizabeth, who received the delightful tidings from Mrs Collins in a letter last week, that we are to be blessed with company in the coming months. My dear Charlotte is in great health and is wonderfully content with her situation.
My blessings, indeed, are many in this past twelvemonth and I give thanks to Him who has brought them to me.
I am, dear sir, your affectionate and fortunate cousin,
William Collins
Longbourn,
near Meryton,
Hertfordshire.
7th October, 1792
Dear Sir,
I must trouble you once more for congratulations. Elizabeth will soon be the wife of Mr Darcy. Console Lady Catherine as well as you can. But, if I were you, I would stand by the nephew; he has more to give.
Yours sincerely,
Henry Bennet
Postscript: I almost forgot, sir, please make haste with still more congratulations! I received first prize for my blackcurrants at the Meryton Fair last month. The judge, Mrs Hill’s first cousin, said they were as good as any he has seen and incidentally made enquiries after my sow, whom he has been trying to purchase from me for many years.
Lucas Lodge.
11th October, 1792
My Dear Sir,
We have just now arrived at Lucas Lodge and wish to let you know of our unexpected arrival into the Hertfordshire countryside and your neighbourhood. Charlotte, in her condition, was eager to spend time with her family, while her health permits it, but, in truth, we are moved more speedily hither due to a matter of great concern to me.
Lady Catherine was rendered so outraged by the news of her nephew’s engagement and let loose all her disappointment and fury, that much of it fell on my own head. She stated that my being Elizabeth’s cousin, and Charlotte her childhood friend, were responsible for throwing the lovers together and, indeed, almost conspiring against her. In such a state of trepidation, we felt it safest to remove ourselves immediately to Lucas Lodge to take cover and wait for the worst of the storm to pass, though I must confess that it may take some time. I should never wish to witness her ladyship in such a distressed state again and pray that it shall not happen for the remainder of my residence at Hunsford.
I can only wonder whether her deep disappointment perhaps stemmed from not soon calling Darcy her own son, adding vinegar to the wound, for it was certain in her mind that fate would have it so. Indeed, I too am bitterly disappointed, for my vision of their wedding ceremony is crushed and there is no occasion now fitting my great passages. I shall bear it as best I can but I must confess I am perplexed that you did not heed my warning and part the lovers until a more convenient route be found. One wonders how he could be thus tempted to act in such a rash and unguided manner when he could have had Rosings in addition to Pemberley. I will, however, put aside my displeasure to add that I sincerely wish them well and assure you that, although it would be impossible for Lady Catherine to degrade herself by attending the wedding ceremony, both Charlotte and I would be flattered to be present. I believe I heard from the servants that not one, but two, pineapples have been ordered for the celebrations of this momentous occasion.
We encountered Baroness Herbert, her dog and carriage on the final stretch of our journey. Indeed she does move at alarming speed, displaying a wildness of character quite unbefitting a member of the aristocracy.
We will no doubt, sir, be delighted to see you within the next day or two.
With compliments to your wife and daughters,
William Collins
Postscript: I am all astonishment with regards your prize-winning blackcurrants for when I first visited Longbourn last year, I shook my head with regret that the bush was in such a sorry state. I will not tell you, sir, that it was dead but it was certainly not alive. Your lettuce, which I momentarily mistook for cabbage, existed for the sole purpose of feeding the local population of rabbits and slugs. That the blackcurrant bush not only survived but went on to win first prize with its crop is a miracle, cousin, of biblical proportions. I myself have enjoyed some little success at the Westerham Fair, third prize in the categories in which I entered, but as the first and second prizes were all won by Lady Catherine de Bourgh, I was deeply humbled and delighted to witness my name listed next to hers in the winners’ logbook. In her current fury, however, all that is forgot.
Longbourn.
11th October, 1792
My Dear Sir,
I congratulate you, for you must be delighted. Elizabeth’s impending marriage to Darcy makes you practically a nephew-in-law of Lady Catherine in all but name. Little did you think when you were casting yourself at her feet as a humble servant that you would one day look her in the eye as an equal and relative. I hope in time, when her fury takes a turn for the better, that she will relish, nay enjoy, the connection as much as we do. Fear not, your wonderful ‘passages’ will get a day out, at some future time. Keep them safe, sir, for you never know when your eloquent passages will be in great demand amongst the upper gentry of this fair land.
May I caution you, sir, not to trouble yourself with rushing to our sides on this visit. We know that you will be tending to the needs of your wife during this delicate time of expectancy and we would not have it on our consciences if she should need you at Lucas Lodge while you were entertaining us. Yours is a generous spirit and one we must take care not to take advantage of. If we see you within the week, we will consider ourselves most fortunate.
Another reason which would have me delay the pleasure of your company is that you would find us not quite ourselves as wedding preparations have taken over our lives, minds and purses. The weddings will be joined – Elizabeth and Darcy, Jane and Bingley. The date will soon be fixed and if you hold tight at Lucas Lodge, you most probably will be in attendance, for these lovers have no patience.
As you can imagine, Mrs Bennet has already made her way to the draper in Meryton for the sole purpose of returning to inform me that there is nothing therein fit for the clothing of one who will be soon the mother-in-law of both gentlemen. She must, she declares, absolutely must, visit the best warehouses in London in the company of her sister-in-law, Mrs Gardiner. I encourage it, and choose to forget the cost, for the few days of peace it will afford me. The older I get, it seems, the greater value I put on my time rather than my money. Mrs Bennet will take our daughters with her and so I will once again be free to roam my house without interruption and, temporarily at least, become the head of the house once more. Only last week, while searching for an old map of the West Indies, I entered the back room, wherein the lady of the house occasionally retires when she has one of her headaches, to discover I had not set foot in it for over a year and it had new wallpaper, a bureau and armchair which I had never seen in the course of my life. A veritable stranger, I have become, in my own home!
I will send for you to join me for dinner on one of these quiet evenings, when I have the house to myself and we can do as we please without offence to any other. It will also give me the opportunity to show you the first prize ribbon which my blackcurrants won for me and we can marvel together at this miraculous happening.
Your cousin,
Henry Bennet
Hunsford,
near Westerham,
Kent.
13th December, 1792
Dear Sir,
May I sincerely apologise in advance for the brevity of my Christmas greetings (and gratitude for your kindness to us on our last visit to Hertfordshire). I sincerely hope you will not be affronted by such communicative neglect for I find I am flustered and preoccupied this weather with an increase in religious services and fussing over my dear Mrs Collins. Sir, I do not know how you undertook this anxiety on five separate occasions.
Though we must mention it in a whisper, and not at all at Rosings, both Charlotte and I were delighted to witness the marriages, last month, of my dear cousins, Jane and Elizabeth. I may even be so bold as to add that though the weddings were most probably frowned upon in some quarters, there was such grandeur and excellent taste on display at the reception in Netherfield Hall that one need not hang one’s head in shame to be associated with the event. In fact, Charlotte and I were just marvelling at how our social standing is ever spiralling upwards.
I would like to take this opportunity to wish you and all your charming family the most peaceful Christmas and New Year. As you know, we will be staying at home here in Hunsford this year, with the occasional visit to Rosings Park, as is our duty and privilege, if we are permitted (for Lady Catherine remains cold). We expect, with God’s good grace, to be joined by Sir William and Lady Lucas in late February, to be present with us on welcoming our new addition, and their first grandchild, into the world.
Please accept the warmth and good wishes of Mrs Collins and myself.
Your affectionate cousin,
William Collins
Longbourn,
near Meryton,
Hertfordshire.
19th December, 1792
Dear Sir,
May I take this opportunity to wish you and Mrs Collins and indeed all in Rosings Park the most wonderful of Christmases. I find myself at home alone this evening as the rest of the family are away at the annual Meryton Christmas Ball. Anxiety that Kitty is not yet married preys terribly on Mrs Bennet’s nerves yet she appears to hold out not a jot of hope for Mary, nor does Mary, for that matter. I, alone, cling to the belief that some ruffian or other will be kicking in my library door someday requesting her hand (who is good enough, I would wonder?). The lady of the house, however, tells me not to be ridiculous, that no one will come for Mary, when the truth is, that she herself does not want to be left without a companion – for who will hold her smelling salts and fluff her pillow, if not Mary?
And so I find myself in my library with a bottle of port which the good Reverend Green gave me by way of payment for a goose. Did I mention to you that he walks an imaginary dog, our Reverend Green? No one has had the heart to tell him that Spot has been dead these twelve years. He even believes that Spot has sired my current litter of pups so, as a kindly gesture, I offered him any one of his choosing, believing the company of a real animal might be of benefit to him, but he refused, stating most firmly that he canno
t be responsible for all that Spot begets.
I must confess myself more than a little merry, this fine winter evening. It is a very good port, I must say, I have not had one as good in many years but then, the goose was also good, and it makes one think of the complicated way in which geese are plucked and port is made and how we trade one good thing for another … amazing people, the Portuguese, when one thinks about them … setting sail there one day and finding the Americas and what not. Marvellous people. I met a man from Lisbon once back in my youth when I was staying with an aunt in Bath. She was an aunt from my mother’s lineage so would not be related to your good self but you may have heard me mention her on occasion, a Mrs Stern (in nature as well as name). She was a sizeable lady. I once overheard a maid say she was obliged to throw Gowland’s lotion on her mistress from a distance for she ‘was as wide as she was tall’ and could not get within several feet of her person. But, yes, I remember meeting a man from Lisbon at the Assembly Rooms when forced to go there and indeed, I struck up conversation with this man from Lisbon or is it Lisboa they call it? We spoke about coffee in fact; he told me some very interesting things about coffee and that the first coffee house was in Damascus, so you see it was not only Saul, from the Good Book, on the side of the road that made Damascus famous. Now that I consider it, this gentleman was, in all likelihood, from Madrid, howsoever the case, we spoke a good hour about coffee beans. Fascinating subject! If the coffee bean could talk of its travels, what stories it could tell!
And a very happy Christmas to you and your entire household, dear cousin. I must confess, I would not give up our correspondence for all the geese in the land, or for all the port either, for that matter, although the sacrifice be greater. Since we have become acquainted through the mending of an old dispute – and I must commend you again for your diplomatic extending of olive branches – I must say the relationship has enriched my life. Your tales and intrigues from life in Kent are, my favourite source of entertainment and I feel all the benefits of the connection without the need to be present myself, for such is your eloquence and gift with words that I have the impression that I am there, witnessing for myself, the scenes as they unfold. How grateful your congregation must be and how mesmerised they must appear upon your utterances and sermons for such is your way with words. It is a gift from on High. And it is not you, sir, who is fortunate in the connection to Rosings, but Lady Catherine who is the fortunate one, and I dare say she knows it too for she keeps a tight rein on your comings and goings.
The Longbourn Letters Page 3
