To speak the truth, I cannot comprehend why you are so severe upon yourself for, as a sober outsider looking in, you were merely having the most wonderful time and mixing with your flock in mutual appreciation of the Lord’s bounty and blessings. Even Sir William Lucas, who presented with only a slightly milder form of antics to yourself, would be well pleased, from whatever heavenly perch he is observing, that your future neighbours, staff and farm labourers enjoyed your company to such a degree. It bodes very well for the future of the Longbourn estate.
Only Mrs Hill still holds some negative sentiment with regard to the trifle bowl but I successfully convinced her to put the past behind her and replace the bowl with something along a similar vein from the good china suppliers in Meryton. I enclose the bill that you may put her mind, and yours, at ease at your earliest convenience.
All at Longbourn enjoyed your recent stay immensely and it was marvellous to see young Thomas appear so well when one considers how truly sick he was. I hope that he enjoys my old box of soldiers. Georgie shows no interest in them whatsoever so it would greatly please this old man to pass them on to one who delights in them as much as I did, when little.
My cough has improved a little. Dear Mrs Bennet scolds me for attending the market in Meryton yesterday in heavy rainfall and though we joke and poke, how fond of each other we are! I reminded her that while the bullock is reputedly a wise creature, he has not yet worked out how to navigate his own way to town, sell himself and, in the same instance, return the abundant price he has fetched to the master and mistress of Longbourn; my dear wife owned that I had a point.
Mr Luther, our man of science, was pronounced dead last night. The physician found him slumped over his work desk, having been called by a concerned debt-collector. This Zacchaeus had discovered the body when he was leaving the premises through the kitchen window with a telescope beneath his arm and, conscientious man that he was, raised the alarm. Several minutes later, however, Mr Luther awoke, shouting “I have it!” and ran from the house. It is generally believed that, in the absence of rodents coming indoors this mild weather, he had been trying out his latest formulation on himself.
Finally, Sir, I would not worry about those anonymous letters if Lady Catherine does not. She is a lady of above average intelligence and cunning and if she is not stirred by a threat to her safety then perhaps there is none. Would she, perchance, have written those letters to herself as a joke to those in her company? I am sure it can be explained away in some light-hearted vein such as this.
Please pass on our fondest regards to all at Hunsford and Rosings.
Yours sincerely,
Henry Bennet
Hunsford,
near Westerham,
Kent.
16th December, 1797
My Dear Sir,
Before I impart details of a most alarming nature, let me commence by requesting that you extend the heartfelt good-will of the Collins family to all at Longbourn this Christmas and, in particular, as it is our understanding that you have many visitors this year, please be sure to wish each of my fair cousins and their families our very special and fondest regards.
Lady Lucas has informed us that the baby girl, Ellen, which was delivered to Mary and Mr Jenkins last month, so much earlier than anticipated, is a fine, strong, healthy child and in no way sickly or small. While this news has triggered gossip in some quarters, rest assured that we at Hunsford believe not a word of it and have said as much at Rosings despite her ladyship saying that “where the Bennet family are concerned, nothing would surprise me.”
Now, however, cousin, I must prepare you for a most incredible shock. It has transpired that it was Smellie who wrote the threatening anonymous letters – he has been found and is back in prison but the circumstances which led to his capture are remarkable.
I was most alarmed and deeply concerned last Sunday evening that we were not invited to dine at Rosings for we have received a personal invite every Sunday since my ordination, with the exception of any occasion when we fell out of favour with her ladyship, through no fault of our own. We were so unprepared for such an occurrence, indeed, that we had not appropriate rations of food in the larder, nor staff on duty to prepare it, that we were forced to eat boiled eggs and bread for dinner (as we had for breakfast that morning). I was almost out of my senses with fretting that one of two things had occurred – either some mischief or calamity had befallen her ladyship or we had fallen out of favour yet again without any indication of what which we could be accused of.
I decided to go at once to Rosings, not for to call on her ladyship, but to observe from a distance and reassure myself that nothing of a sinister nature had taken place. If unable to establish this by observation, I would discreetly make enquiries at the servants’ quarter. I moved with purpose and was most fortunate that a full moon lit my way but before I approached the lodge house I noticed her ladyship walking in my direction towards the gate. I leapt behind a bush – I know not why I jumped, or what or whom I feared, but that Lady Catherine would be most displeased with me for lurking about at night, I was certain. She stopped at the door of the lodge house and moved no further. I was at a loss as what to do but I was confident that, on such a cold night, she would surely return to the comforts of her home soon.
After several minutes, I saw a figure emerge from the gable end of the house and walk straight up to her ladyship yelling “Where is it?” It was the unmistakeable voice of Smellie but instead of appearing alarmed, her ladyship stepped forward and said in a deep voice, as she raised her arm to strike Smellie, “Never!” A scuffle ensued and before I knew it I was on Smellie’s back and being swung around and around until I was finally flung to the ground. As I rose to my feet, I saw Smellie had made good his escape and her ladyship in pursuit with lifted skirt (pardon my language, sir) but the cumbersomeness of her clothing stifled her progress and she returned to where I was now arising to reveal herself as Giles, Rosings’ butler, in disguise.
I put my fists up and threatened the butler, for I knew not what trickery was underway that had him dressed in her ladyship’s clothing and the criminal, Smellie, meeting with him on the grounds of Rosings. Fortunately for him, he spoke up at once, “Fear not, Mr Collins, it is me Giles. Her ladyship had me come here in disguise as a trap for Smellie. It was he who wrote the letters. It is all going to plan. Come back with me to Rosings. It will all be over soon and her ladyship will return.”
I cautiously left with him for Rosings but as I felt he might have lost his mind or was not to be trusted, I entered in my usual manner and asked to speak with Lady Catherine on urgent business that could not wait. I was informed she was not at home but was due back shortly, if I cared to wait. To get to the point of the matter, all was explained on her return. Her ladyship had recognised Smellie’s handwriting, having several documents about the house which he had written during his stay at Rosings. She was also able to track down how, and from whence, the letters were dispatched which led her to lodgings in Meryton where Smellie was in residence. As Giles met the blackmailer at an agreed time and location to supposedly ‘hand over’ money, Lady Catherine and some local officers descended upon his lodgings in town and seized a number of stolen artifacts, illegal documentation and evidence of his attempting to extract wealth by blackmail and, as he is still considered a criminal ‘on the run’, he was arrested immediately on his return (for they were expecting him) and was sent to the barracks at Maidstone.
Thankfully, this is the reason we were not invited to dine on Sunday evening and, if anything, it has cemented our standing and connection with Rosings even further as Lady Catherine confirmed that she is “blessed” with the residents at Hunsford and so, we find, a sense of calm is falling down upon our lives again.
A most wonderful Christmas to all at Longbourn.
Your cousin,
William Collins
Longbourn,
near Meryton,
Hertfordshire.
21st December,
1797
Dear Sir,
A very Merry Christmas to all at Hunsford and Rosings.
What an extraordinary turn of events. That rascal Smellie! One should send him his own books to read in prison as punishment for his wicked ways. What a fool to attempt to get a trick up on her ladyship – he knew not with whom he was dealing in that instance … a short-cut to his own demise, if ever there was one.
Yes, Mrs Bennet and I are blessed to have all the girls and their families about this Christmas and though it be noisy, I find I can retreat to the solitude of my library and my hearing impediment takes care of the rest.
Our incredible news, though it hardly competes with a butler in lady’s clothing, is that Mr Luther is now one of the wealthiest men in Hertfordshire. Apparently his “poisonous” mixture was in fact an alcoholic spirit of excellent quality, the recipe for which he has sold for a great fortune to a large brewing company in Manchester who are readying themselves for global exportation, even as I write. Perhaps he is now an acquaintance worth your notice in future and, particularly, as he has informed the Smocks of his intention of buying Netherfield Hall if ever they consider quitting it.
I am glad that you may all sleep soundly in your beds now that Smellie is captured but I do wish the Scots had been let loose on him first. Again, please extend the fondest sentiments of all at Longbourn to all at Hunsford and Rosings this Christmas and New Year.
Your affectionate cousin,
Henry Bennet
1798 – The year in which we lose a loved one
Longbourn,
near Meryton,
Hertfordshire.
4th January, 1798
Dear Sir,
I hope this letter finds you all well. Pardon me if this letter causes you alarm. I am sure there is nothing to worry about but I feel I should write to my heir on this occasion.
My chest has worsened and all at Longbourn look concerned. The girls have delayed their journeys home which does not bode well, for they have spoken with the physician in secret. This week will tell much so be on your guard, sir, lest you inherit Longbourn before you expect.
I will write again next week when all is returned to normal.
Your cousin,
Henry Bennet
Postscript – I have told dear, distraught Mrs Bennet that Thomas is to have the pigs though it be not yet written in my will.
Longbourn,
near Meryton,
Hertfordshire.
5th January, 1798
Dear Sir,
My last correspondence is incorrect. Come at once, if you please, my heir and friend. The physician looks grave!
Henry Bennet
Hunsford,
near Westerham,
Kent.
6th January, 1798
Dear Sir,
I depart at once and will not be far behind this express for Lady Catherine has sent her carriage. God grant you solace.
Your affectionate friend and cousin,
William Collins
Hunsford,
near Westerham,
Kent.
1st February, 1798
Dear Mrs Bennet,
Please be assured that your esteemed self, Master Georgie and all your family continue to be included in my daily prayers. I greatly wish there was anything that could be said or written which would bring comfort to you in this time of intense grief and loss other than the certain knowledge that our dear Mr Bennet is most assuredly in the company of our Lord.
Charlotte and Lady Catherine join me in these sentiments and Thomas is particularly glum at present for he has surely lost a true friend and companion.
And though it is a constant and natural function of my sacred vocation to meet others in the valley of the shadow of death, rarely have I felt a loss so keenly. Please forgive me again for weeping so at Mr Bennet’s memorial service but he and I not only shared the same bloodline but were altogether as one mind and spirit in so many ways. Our written correspondence, he frequently informed me, furnished him with an enjoyment of life and an understanding of man, which gave life meaning and depth. Indeed, he may rarely have voiced it but I felt the warmth of his affection and esteem at all times and never more so than when, on his deathbed, his parting words to me were that I should read all my great passages at his funeral service, for though he would not be there to hear them, it would give him great comfort and delight to know that his loved ones would.
I continue with great humility and generosity of spirit when I add that although it be a delicate subject, I would like to gently inform you that we have, earlier this week, received a legal letter transferring the entailment of the Longbourn estate to my own name but, please, dear madam, be assured that we are in no hurry to move into Hertfordshire yet. I have been made aware in a letter from my dear cousin Jane that you and Master Georgie are to live with the Bingleys and will be joining them before Easter. Howsoever that may be the case, please know that we will not be leaving Kent until late summer at the earliest, as I have to discover a suitable replacement to execute my duties who will satisfy Lady Catherine’s especially high standards.
Let me reassure you once more, Mrs Bennet, that Longbourn will always be your home and I do sincerely hope, as does my dear Charlotte, that you will come stay to with us and visit your many friends and family at Meryton and Lucas Lodge, as well as your dear husband’s final resting place, as frequently as you wish.
Know that it is my intention to visit Mr Bennet’s grave daily, as I return from church, and to continue to hold counsel with him from beyond the grave, for he was the greatest friend of my life.
“Because he bends down to listen, I will pray as long as I have breath” Psalm 116:2
Your ever humble servant,
William Collins
Afterword
According to census and church records, Mr William Collins went on to live at Longbourn, with his family, until his death on May 12th, 1828. He is buried in the adjoining graveyard, where Mr Henry Bennet is also buried. His eldest son Thomas inherited the Longbourn estate. The current owner, Jane Jenkins, purchased the house and gardens (the agricultural land had been sold in a separate auction) in 2013 and is a direct descendant of the Bennets and Collinses.
Acknowledgements
To my parents and family – if blood is thicker than water, then we are made of mortar. I love you all.
To my friends, dipping in and out of each other’s lives – thank you for journeying through life with me and providing fun, support and laughter.
A big thank you to Diarmuid for saying “Just do it!” so I did. To Mags & Shemie for saying they’d give it to me between the eyes, which they did, but kindly so. To Peter and Eileen of the Cork Friends of Jane Austen who were so generous with their time, advice and knowledge, I cannot thank you enough.
To Jane Austen, and all the creative people whom she has inspired through the ages, you have added enormously to this world.
To my greatest blessings, who always believe in me, my nucleus – Filip, Laura and Charlie – such joy!
And, finally, to that love which flows through all things, thank you.
The Longbourn Letters Page 11
