by Susan Stoker
“Oh, shit,” Mary whispered, and lowered her eyes to the buttons on his shirt.
Truck wouldn’t let her hide. He put a finger under her chin and forced her gaze back up to his. “I said it back in the vault and I’ll say it again. I asked you to marry me because I love you, Mary. Yes, I wanted you to be able to use my insurance, but that was just an excuse. I would’ve said anything to make you mine for real.”
When she didn’t respond, he smirked. “No comment?”
Mary shook her head.
He got serious again. “I love you, Mary. I love your snark. I love the way you stand up to people. I love that you have Rayne in your life. I’m sorry that you doubted my love for one second. Do not be embarrassed about puking in front of me, or anything else about your cancer. I love you exactly how you are. Boobs, no boobs, hair, no hair. It doesn’t matter to me.”
“I…you’re important to me too, Truck. But…the words. They’re really hard for me.”
“I know,” Truck said.
Mary shook her head and gripped his shirt tighter. “I want to say them, but I can’t. They freak me out.”
“You said them in the bank,” Truck reminded her.
Mary grimaced. “I thought we were about to die,” she said. “That it might be my only chance to tell you.”
“Mare, you tell me every day that you love me,” he said. “Your actions speak loud and clear. I don’t need the words.”
“But it’s not fair,” Mary protested.
“Do you love me?” Truck asked. “All you have to do is nod or shake your head.”
Mary pressed her lips together and nodded.
“That’s all I need,” Truck reassured her. “Come on,” he said, turning her and taking her hand in his. He led them to the bedroom and went inside. Then he turned and looked at the wall.
Mary stared up at their wedding certificate.
“I knew something was missing from there,” Truck said quietly. “I’d lay in bed at night and stare at that spot and try to force my brain to give it up. The happiest day of my fucking life was the day you said I do, Mare. I’d face a hundred gangbangers and blow up a thousand more banks for the right to have you by my side. I’ll never cheat on you. I’ll never decide I don’t want you anymore. I’ll fight tooth and nail to keep you safe and happy. If that means I have to go toe-to-toe with fucking cancer again, so be it.”
Mary lifted a hand and placed it on his cheek. “I believe you.”
“Good.”
They stared at each other for a long minute before Truck sighed. “I hate to admit this, because I have a feeling you’ll be throwing it in my face for quite a while, but I need to lie down.”
Mary blinked, then shook herself out of the haze she’d been in. “Shit! Of course. Are you dizzy? Come on, the bed’s right here.”
Truck chuckled. “I’m not about to keel over, woman. Chill.”
“I just…I’m worried about you. Maybe I should sleep on the couch tonight,” she fretted.
“Absolutely not,” Truck said sternly. “I know you worry about me, and you have no idea how much that means to me.” Truck sat on the bed and pulled her to him. Holding her hands and looking at her, he said, “But there’s no way I want to spend even one night away from you if I can help it.”
“I think I can manage that,” Mary said with a smile. “Are you hungry? I can make you something to eat.”
“I could eat,” he told her as he settled back on the bed.
Mary hurried out to see what was in the kitchen that would be easy to make. She wasn’t the best cook, but she’d be able to come up with something to keep him satisfied. Later, when he was more up to it, they could cook together. For most of the time she’d lived with him, he’d done all the cooking, simply because she either wasn’t hungry or was too sick to do it herself.
Mary still wasn’t convinced she would make a good wife, but she’d do her best. She trusted Truck, and that was what mattered. Smiling, she opened the fridge and bent over to see what there was to eat.
Chapter Seventeen
It was the night before Fletch and Emily’s naming party, and Truck had decided that Mary’s time was up. The first two days after he’d gotten out of the hospital, he’d done a lot of sleeping. Then his days had been filled with shooting the shit with his friends. He knew Mary had arranged the visits and he loved her even more for it.
She and Rayne had gone grocery shopping one day and had bought enough food to feed an army. And that’s pretty much who had been at his apartment in the last week. An army of their friends. Little Annie spent the night and they’d watched Cinderella, twice. Another night, Mary had invited Trigger over and the three of them talked until midnight before the other Delta had finally excused himself to go home.
Even Macie had come over for dinner. Truck hadn’t really gotten a good explanation of what had happened all those years ago, and why she’d never contacted him, but she had definitely changed over the years. Of course, it had been two decades since he’d last seen her, when they were both basically still kids, but she used to be outgoing and smiled nonstop. Now she seemed nervous and uneasy, even around him, which he hated. He found himself doing everything he could to keep conversation light and easy, not to bring up anything that might distress her.
He wanted to know everything about his sister. About her job designing websites—primarily for authors, but really for anyone who contacted her. He wanted to know why she wasn’t married. He wanted to know everything about her high school years, and her college ones too. He really wanted to know about their parents. If she was still in touch with them, if they’d had anything to do with her not talking to him after he’d left home, as he suspected.
Basically, Truck wanted to know every little detail about her life, but he could tell that asking anything too personal would make her clam up. So he kept things simple, talked mostly about himself and his teammates. He even talked about his commander and the other Delta Force team he was in charge of, as Macie seemed especially interested when he brought up Colonel Robinson.
There would come a time when he’d need to have a heart-to-heart with Macie, and they’d need to clear the air once and for all. They’d have to discuss what happened all those years ago. But for now, he was content having her back in his life.
There hadn’t ever been so many people in and out of their apartment, and Truck suspected Mary was doing her best to avoid being alone with him, especially at bedtime. She’d told him one evening that she was trying out a new recipe, and she’d be in bed soon. Of course he’d been fast asleep by the time she’d finished.
Another night, she’d called Rayne just as he got off the couch to head to bed, and then she’d had the nerve to spend the night on the couch.
He was done.
Truck knew Mary was freaking out about sleeping with him, but she was done avoiding him. She needed to face this hurdle head on, like she did just about everything else in her life, including her job.
She hadn’t needed to resign from the bank, as the regional manager put everyone on paid leave until they could rebuild the vault and reassess their security measures. They’d reassured all the employees that if they wanted to “pursue other options,” the bank would do whatever they could to help them.
Mary had been brainstorming what she wanted to do with Rayne and the others, but she hadn’t made a decision. She was moving on with her work life, now it was time to move on with her personal life too.
Mary was currently sitting on the other side of the couch from him, her attention stubbornly fixed on the television. She was flicking channels, but Truck could tell she wasn’t really paying attention.
He stood, and hated that Mary flinched slightly, but he ignored her discomfort, walked right up to her, and leaned over and picked her up.
“Truck!” she exclaimed, wrapping her arms around his neck. “Your head! Put me down!”
“No,” he said calmly. “It’s time for bed.”
“I have things I
need to do first,” she said somewhat desperately.
“No, you don’t.”
“Yes, I do.”
“Nope.”
“Trucker,” she warned, tensing.
Truck continued to ignore her and walked into their bedroom and put her down in front of the bathroom. “You’ve got five minutes to do what you need to do in there.”
“And if I need more time?” she asked belligerently, hands on her hips.
Truck leaned over and ran a finger down her nose. “Then I’m comin’ in to get you.”
She huffed out a breath and entered the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.
Truck merely smiled. He loved when Mary got riled up. It was a much more honest reaction than the careful concern she’d been showing him for the last week.
He felt much better. His headache was almost all the way gone. The staples itched, rather than hurt, and he felt much stronger. There was no way he wanted to take three months off, but if he could break through the barrier Mary had put up between them, it would be fun having her all to himself without having to worry about being sent out of the country on a mission.
Truck hurried to the guest bathroom and did his thing before climbing into the bed. He’d taken off his shirt and sweats, but kept on his boxers. They’d be going too, but he needed to tame his skittish wife first.
Mary opened the bathroom door with twenty seconds to spare and stood there uncertainly.
Truck sucked in a breath at what she was wearing. He’d put the nightie on the bathroom counter earlier that night, but it looked a hundred times sexier on her than on the hanger.
Her short brown hair was in disarray on her head, the pink streak calling to him like a siren’s song. Her hair had grown in much thicker after the second round of chemo. He loved how it felt tickling his palm when he held her to him.
She had on a black chemise with spaghetti straps. She was still too slender, at least in his opinion. He could see her collarbones clearly. Truck made a mental note to make sure she ate three good meals a day…and had plenty of snacks. The black garment hit her at mid-thigh and he could see the red polish on her toes. She never wore it on her fingernails, but she loved painting her toenails.
“Take a picture, it lasts longer,” she quipped.
Truck knew she was nervous, and he smiled. “Come here,” he said, holding out a hand.
She hesitated, but Truck didn’t rush her. She’d come to him in her own time. That was one of the things he loved most about her.
Finally, she took a deep breath and padded across the room until she could touch him. She placed her hand in his and Truck felt his heart lurch in his chest. Everything this woman did slayed him. She was nervous and uneasy, but she still showed him how much she cared by trusting him.
Truck brought her hand up to his mouth and kissed it. Then he scooted over in the bed, pulling her up onto the mattress after him.
Mary lay back and yawned huge. “Boy, I’m tired. I can’t wait for tomorrow. I wonder what Em and Fletch named their son. Don’t you? I mean—”
Her words stopped abruptly when Truck placed his hand on her belly.
She immediately grabbed his wrist with both hands and bit her lip as she looked up at him.
“I love you,” Truck said gently. “I’ve seen you naked, Mare. I smoothed that lotion all over your chest when you were going through radiation. I slept with my head on your belly when you were in so much pain you didn’t want me anywhere near your chest, yet still wouldn’t let me move away from you. We’ve cried and laughed together. We faced cancer head on, and beat it, together. When I lost my memory, you didn’t give up on us. In fact, you went toe-to-toe with that paramedic bitch. Nothing means more to me than knowing you were willing to stick by me when I didn’t remember who you were. Don’t be afraid of me after everything we’ve been through. I love you and would never hurt you. Physically or emotionally.”
“It’s different now,” she whispered, not removing her hands from his wrist and staring at him with her big brown eyes.
“Because you’re not sick? Because you want me as much as I want you?” Truck asked.
Mary blinked in surprise but then nodded.
“Would you feel better with the lights out?”
She immediately shook her head. “No. It makes no sense, and it’s totally fucked, but I want to see you. I’ve dreamed about you making love to me for so long, there’s no way I want to miss one second of the experience. But, I’m scared that you’re going to take one look at me and not be able to get it up. Between the weight I lost and my flat-as-a-pancake chest…I’m not pretty.”
“The hell you aren’t,” Truck said in a huff. “Let go.”
Surprisingly, Mary loosened her grip on his wrist. He immediately got up on his knees and straddled her. He slowly pulled her nightie up over her hips. Mary didn’t move to help but he didn’t need her to. When the material was bunched at her belly, he kept pushing it up and over her chest.
Truck didn’t take his gaze from hers. She lifted her arms and allowed him to remove the garment altogether. The second it cleared her head, Truck leaned over her. He saw her struggle to keep from covering herself. She grabbed onto his biceps instead. Her fingers didn’t come close to touching around his large muscles, but she clung to him as if he was the only thing between her and certain death.
“Breathe, babe,” he said softly, then leaned down and kissed her forehead. He moved to the tip of her nose. Then her cheeks. He skipped her lips and moved his mouth to her left ear. “Feel how hard I am for you, Mary. You.”
And he was. His cock was as hard as steel inside his boxers. He had a feeling the tip was sticking out through the slit in the material, but he didn’t bother to adjust himself. He lowered his hips down far enough that she could feel him against her belly, then he continued his caresses.
Truck nuzzled the sensitive skin under her ear, then moved his nose to her neck and inhaled deeply.
He felt more than heard her chuckle under him and he relaxed a fraction. “That’s it, just relax. It’s me. I’d sooner shoot myself in the head than hurt you in any way, shape, or form.”
Taking a risk, Truck scooted farther down her body and laid his head on her chest. He could hear her heart beating way faster than normal and her breaths came out in rapid puffs, but he felt one of her hands rest on the back of his head, staying clear of his injury as she held him to her.
“I can’t feel anything,” she said after a while. “The nerves are completely dead. So if you’re thinking about kissing me there, or otherwise trying to arouse me that way, don’t.”
Truck lifted his head and took her face between his palms. “It’s okay. I know other places where you’re sensitive.” And with that, he took her earlobe between his teeth and bit down. He felt her shudder under him, and he smiled.
Deciding he’d teased her long enough, Truck grabbed a pillow and shoved it under her hips. Then he eased himself down her body, still staring into her eyes as he settled between her legs. He could smell her excitement but he still didn’t look at the core of her.
“That first night I spent here after coming home from Africa, I smelled the most amazing thing when I got into bed. I ripped off the pillowcase and held this pillow to my face, trying to get more of it. I didn’t know what it was or why I was so desperate for it until I read your journal. You masturbated on my pillow,” he accused.
For the first time that night, Mary smiled. It was coy and a little bit naughty. She shrugged. “I couldn’t help it. I wanted you so bad, but didn’t know how to go about changing the nature of our relationship. I had to do something to get relief.”
“Consider our relationship changed,” Truck said before lowering his eyes. He took in the pulse hammering in her throat. He took in the still slightly red skin of her chest where she’d been burnt by the radiation. He was actually a little surprised to see how good her skin looked compared to the last time he’d seen it after the treatments. It was still a bit odd to see
her chest completely flat, but it evoked feelings of love and pride instead of disgust. His Mary was one tough chick. When shit happened in her life, she met it head on and didn’t let anyone, or any disease, dictate how she was going to live.
He took in the sight of her clearly definable ribs, her concave belly, her cute belly button. Then he ran his fingers through the tufts of pubic hair above her slit.
“Truck,” she whined, and arched her back while spreading her legs wider.
He took the hint, and didn’t hesitate to use his fingers to separate her folds and lick her from her slit to clit.
The first taste of Mary on his tongue made him moan. Truck knew he’d remember this moment forever. He might have made Mary his in the eyes of the law, but this was the date he’d celebrate as their anniversary from now until he was no longer on this earth. She tasted so fucking good.
Using his hands to hold Mary’s thighs open as far as was comfortable for her, Truck buried his face between her thighs and concentrated on making her come.
It didn’t take long. The second Truck latched onto her clit and started a combination of sucking and licking, Mary began to thrash. Her hips pressed up toward him, then shied away as her orgasm got closer and closer.
“Truck, oh my God…more…there…oh, shit…too sensitive…don’t stop…yes, right there. Fuuuuuck!”
And with that, she lost it. Her thighs shook, her belly tightened, her head went back, and she exploded.
Truck shifted and eased one of his thick fingers inside her body even as he kept licking the small bundle of nerves. She was slick and hot, but so fucking tight. She squeezed his finger and began to hump against it even as she came a second time.
Her wetness was all over his face when Truck finally lifted his head, and he reveled in it. There was a wet spot on the pillow under her ass and his finger and palm were also soaked.
Truck moved up and over her, leaving her ass propped up as he leaned to grab the condom he’d placed on the table next to the bed in preparation. He ripped open the foil and shoved his boxers down under his balls. He rolled on the condom then waited for Mary to open her eyes and look at him.
