by Frank Morin
Then he willed himself awake. Time to face Kilian.
4
There Are Secrets, and Then There Are Crazy-super-secrets
As soon as Connor opened his eyes, Verena took his hand and asked, “How did it go?”
She didn’t actually seem worried that he might be broken and need to be put down. Her faith helped. He gave her a reassuring smile and said, “Pretty good, I think.”
Student Eighteen was also awake. “We’re convinced Connor’s whole, but I wouldn’t say everything is okay.”
“What do you mean?” Kilian asked.
“Connor’s been keeping secrets.”
Connor added quickly, “As if I’m the only one.”
Kilian said, “We all have secrets, but some are deadlier than others, and some of us know when to keep secrets and when to share.”
“I thought you had agreed to trust me,” Connor said defensively.
Student Eighteen already knew the truth, and from her expression he could tell she planned to share it. He might as well do it himself, but he felt a strange reluctance. More than just the fact that he had promised the elementals to keep his interactions with them secret to protect his friends from potential harm, his relationship with them was becoming precious to him, and he realized he would not risk any harm coming to that. It was too important to risk. His friends should understand that.
Kilian said, “That was before you raised an elfonnel, controlled it better than even I can with all of my experience, and somehow walked with fire and earth together while in elfonnel form. Whatever’s going on, Connor, we need to understand it.”
“Why? Isn’t it enough that I understand it and that I’ve proven I can do it?” He rubbed at his eyes, suddenly feeling tired again. Maybe he needed to sleep for another day. Or a week.
“Not this time, Connor. What we saw in your mind is so far beyond normal, we can’t keep it secret.” She looked surprised that he was arguing the point, and that just annoyed him more.
“You’re not exactly one to talk about what’s normal,” he retorted.
She recoiled and Verena slugged Connor in the shoulder. “What’s gotten into you?”
Student Eighteen held up a calming hand. “It’s all right. You’ve experienced severe trauma that you haven’t yet recovered from, and we’re treading in unfamiliar water. We pried into your mind in a pretty invasive way. It’s natural for you to resist, but Connor you have to understand that I fear there are dangers you haven’t grasped yet. We’re best equipped to handle them together.”
Kilian was watching the exchange closely. He said softly, “I agree. I trust you Connor, but you stepped into uncharted waters here and any unknowns involving the deepest magic are fraught with danger.”
“More danger than even you know. Part of what I’m trying to keep from you is for your own good,” Connor said, rubbing a hand through his hair, fighting to remain calm. He felt a growing frustration at their poking and prying. They were trying to help, but at the same time they were risking everything he was building with the elementals.
Connor couldn’t make Aifric unsee what she saw, but he wished there was a way to get the rest of them to simply trust him. Life was too complicated already. He couldn’t bear to have any of his friends hurt because he shared secrets with them they weren’t prepared for.
Verena rubbed his hand, and as always the motion soothed him. “If there are things that could harm us, maybe you could just not tell us those parts, but there have to be some things that you can share.”
Neither Kilian nor Aifric appeared as ready to accept her compromise, but they did not object. Leave it to Verena to find a solution. So he took a deep breath and said, “You know I’m speaking with the elementals.”
Verena nodded eagerly. “I’ve been trying to reach Water ever since I saw her in Kirstin’s Defense, but haven’t been able to.”
“I’ll ask her if there’s more we can do to help you connect,” Connor promised.
“Don’t rush things,” Kilian warned. “What have you learned that you can share?”
“Somehow they really are self-aware, and I’m trying to understand their purposes. They’ve been training me and teaching me about the higher aspects to affinities and the world powers that fuel them. Without their help I wouldn’t have made nearly as much progress, and I never would have survived that eruption.”
“How did you survive? How did you walk with both fire and earth?” Kilian asked.
Connor wanted to tell him, longed to discuss his family bridge that he was slowly corrupting, but hesitated. Water had warned him not to share more of their training, and he sensed that if he angered her again, she might refuse to train him further. He couldn’t take the risk.
“It’s complicated, and unfortunately that’s one of the things I can’t share yet.”
Kilian didn’t like it. “You said they’ve warned you that sharing too much could harm us, but your connection to them is unprecedented, and I don’t like the fact that they want you to walk this road without our counsel.”
“Please trust me. I think I almost understand their purpose, and then maybe I’ll be able to share more.”
“What is their purpose?” Verena asked.
Connor shrugged. “I’m not entirely sure yet. They want me to become their champion.” He dared add, “And help them gain more freedom.”
“What does that mean?” Student Eighteen asked.
Maybe he shouldn’t have said so much. He was walking a very fine line. Had he just crossed it? “I’ll let you know as soon as I know, and as soon as I can share it.”
Kilian frowned. “That concerns me, as does the idea of greater freedom. What do they mean?”
“I don’t know,” Connor said, feeling frustrated.
“Knowledge, especially critical knowledge like what they are sharing with you, is not shared without a price,” Kilian said, still frowning. “We must understand what they expect in return so that we can understand if the price is worth the knowledge.”
“I know,” he snapped, letting them see his frustration. “But I need the knowledge, or I’ll die.”
Connor couldn’t risk alienating the elementals until they figured out how to defeat the queen, but he did worry about what they meant about needing freedom. What could shackle them? How did it limit them, and what did freedom look like? They were beings of such vast power, he wanted to make sure he didn’t make any assumptions that might prove dangerous.
He honestly wanted to help them, but he’d spent enough time around powerful people to see how they manipulated others, and his suspicions were growing that the elementals were maneuvering him into a position he wouldn’t like if he understood all the facts.
That put him into a difficult spot. He needed them, desperately needed the knowledge they could share and the power they possessed. They had saved him during the eruption, which had saved everyone. He could not have made a different choice than accept their help, but that had placed him far deeper in debt to them, and they still wouldn’t clearly state what they wanted in return.
Kilian did not look convinced either. “What else can you tell us about them?”
He decided describing them wouldn’t harm anyone. Aifric had already seen them. So he described them, including the odd attraction between Earth and Air, and Fire and Water.
While he talked, he glanced at Student Eighteen, who regarded Kilian with a little smile. There was definitely a striking resemblance, probably a subconscious choice on Connor’s part to associate the element with the Petralist who most embodied them. Was that why Fire and Earth looked so much like Kilian and Evander, or was there something deeper to it?
Verena chuckled. “It’s hard to picture. Like imagining Evander flirting.”
“He did date Harley,” Student Eighteen reminded them, then visibly shuddered.
“They do a great job impersonating people,” Connor said. “Some of it may just be how it translates into my mind, but there has to be a basis in fact
for it.”
Kilian nodded. “I have sensed the strange dual nature between the opposing elements. Fire and water destroy each other when in the same space, but there is an undeniable attraction between them. You’ve given us some fascinating insights.”
“Can you tell us more about affinity bridges?” Student Eighteen asked.
“Or Builder wells?” Verena added quickly.
That was starting to steer more into areas he sensed would anger the elements if he shared too much. All he said was, “I’m still figuring all that out.”
“Tread cautiously in there,” Kilian warned. “Images, especially in the mind, become symbols that carry great weight. You’ve created symbols that embody the living elements in ways none of us have ever achieved. Crossing bridges, building bridges, or breaking bridges can have significant real-world results that we don’t understand yet.”
Both Verena and Student Eighteen nodded agreement.
“You sound like Porphyry,” Connor grumbled.
Kilian sat forward sharply. “What did you say?”
Student Eighteen said, “That’s right. When the elements popped into Connor’s mind, they were followed by Porphyry.”
“Your porphyry affinity manifests in your mind like the elementals?” Kilian demanded, looking as startled by that as by anything they had discussed.
“It’s always felt like a rampager, prowling in my heart. After my last ascension, it has appeared in rampager form, and like the elements it’s taken on a personality of its own. “
“It spoke to us. Told us the pack protects the pack leader,” Student Eighteen said. She rubbed her arms and shivered at the memory. Connor didn’t blame her. Porphyry could be a shock to the system if one wasn’t used to it.
Kilian looked astonished. “I can understand the elements appearing to you in human form. Sort of. We access their power and walk with them through our affinities, but they’re somehow separate from the rest of the red and green powers. But porphyry is just another affinity, isn’t it?”
“It should be, but somehow it seems to have a life of its own,” Connor said.
“What is it doing in your mind? What does it want?” Verena asked. She was looking at Connor as if he’d grown a second head. With his fleshcrafting abilities he probably could. He wondered if he suddenly sprouted another face if that would distract them enough to stop questioning him for a while.
“It’s not trying to take control or force me to become a rage monster again. Ever since my last ascension it seems to accept my will without question.”
“The pack leader. Like wolves,” Student Eighteen said.
“Something like that. It seems to want to protect me.”
He nearly told them about how Porphyry did not seem to trust the elements, how it had blocked him on that final bridge and how it had encircled his mind when he had stepped into Fire and raised that elfonnel. Porphyry’s actions weren’t entirely clear to Connor so he wouldn’t be able to explain to the others, and he feared that would make them only more distrustful of the gifts the elementals were bestowing upon him. So he said nothing about it.
Kilian said, “You’re the first person I know of who has ever found a way to tap porphyry without extreme danger to yourself. I’m encouraged by that, but still disturbed that it’s appearing like it is. Are other affinities manifesting in human form to you?”
Connor shook his head, and he was pretty happy about that. Having five new people in his mind was disconcerting enough. Adding a bunch more would make his brain as fractured as Aifric’s.
“Good. You have enough weirdness going on in there,” Kilian said. “We’re going to have to discuss your relationship with the elements again soon.” When Connor started to protest, he held up a calming hand. “I know they’ve restricted what you can share, but I need you to negotiate for more, even if it’s just to share with me. There’s too much we don’t understand, and I don’t like it.”
Connor had already shared far more than he had planned to, and it left him feeling grumpy. A headache was growing behind his eyes. “Why don’t we talk about some of your secrets first? How did you move so fast when you were saving the other Juggernaut pilots? Not even I can run like that.”
Kilian grinned, looking like a much younger man. “That’s one secret you are ready for. I call it superfracking. As far as I know, I’m the only one who has ever managed it. I think today is a good day to teach you the trick.”
That was more like it. As much as Connor was not enjoying the grilling session, he loved studying new aspects of affinities with Kilian. Unfortunately, despite how great he’d felt earlier, exhaustion was creeping back over him. He’d really pushed himself to the brink of no return with that elfonnel. He doubted he could run to the toilet, let alone superfrack.
So he said, “Sounds amazing, but can we wait until tomorrow? I need to rest more today.”
“I’m not surprised. Usually after I return from elfonnel form, I sleep for days.”
“I’d take half that much time.”
“Take as much as you need,” Kilian said.
Student Eighteen added, “Unless the queen’s army moves out again.”
“She’ll need time to recuperate too,” Kilian said.
Verena said, “Well, when you go running, can I come try too?”
Connor could never deny her, not when she was pleading with those big blue eyes.
Luckily, Kilian said, “Probably not. Sorry, but I don’t think anyone who hasn’t ascended at least the second threshold could manage it, and Connor is going to need a full measure of basalt to do it. It would be impossible if he loaned any to anyone else.”
Verena sighed, looking dejected. She hated missing out on any research. So Connor said, “After we’re done practicing, I’ll loan you some more basalt and I’ll teach you how to frack.”
Aifric’s face shuddered a little as Rith took the control position. She rubbed her hands and said, “We’ll join you. The day someone fracks for the first time is a memorable occasion.”
“Does it hurt?” Verena asked uneasily.
Rith gave her a wicked grin. “Absolutely. I screamed and Mariora wet herself.”
She blinked a couple times and her voice changed pitch just a little. “I did not. That’s your memory.”
She grimaced and Aifric stepped into the control position. She rubbed her temple. “Don’t mind them. They’ll work it out eventually.”
Connor wondered if they were creating a mental Strider course for the two women to race. It was probably one of their favorite pastimes when they weren’t controlling their body.
Verena looked a little less sure of herself but Connor squeezed her hand. “It’ll be fun. And I’ll make sure no one gets seriously hurt.”
5
If Only Crazy People Were Always Wrong
Ailsa stood in the top floor ballroom of the palace of Crann. The queen had chosen the enormous space as the only place in the huge city fitting to serve as her audience hall. The unique waterfall feature, tumbling down from the high roof into a large fountain pool served as a tiny reminder of the majestic Mealt Falls of Donleavy.
Queen Dreokt had fashioned a glittering throne of ice where she sat straight-backed, but her gaze was distant and unfocused. She looked battered, even though she had slept straight through the past day since returning from chasing Connor upriver. Ailsa had waited expectantly, refusing to allow her deepest thoughts rise to the surface, even while the queen was gone. The habits of self-preservation were too ingrained, too necessary. She could not let her worry for Connor crack her carefully maintained façade.
She probably needn’t have worried about that. The sight of the giant new mountain on the northeastern horizon, surrounded by lower peaks, generated a lot of worry from everyone in the city. Even though it was miles away, she’d clearly seen the giant firebound elfonnel immersed in the astonishing eruption. The monster must have been immense for them to see it from so far. Everyone assumed the elfonnel was the queen rip
ping apart her enemies, but elfonnel were terrifying on the best of days.
When the city had begun to shake, the general sense of fear had escalated to panic. Some buildings had crumbled, while many others bore minor damage, but Ailsa sensed that things could have gone significantly worse.
When the queen finally returned, entirely encased in a suit of earth, she had seemed shaken, and had staggered while she walked, as if drunk or badly injured. Screaming incoherently in half a dozen languages, she had tossed servants and officers out of her way, seriously injuring several of them. She had closeted herself in her quarters and allowed no one to enter, but had demanded Ailsa bring the best sandstone she could find, including a sculpted piece.
Luckily she had one ready, and had actually been in the process of sculpting another with the secret intention of sending it to Connor. In one of the messages from Ivor she had learned that Connor had exhausted the last sculpted sandstone pendant again. Now that he was ascended like the queen, he should not need it, but she couldn’t resist the urge to make him another anyway.
Queen Dreokt had never requested sandstone. Ailsa had managed to catch a glimpse of the queen in her quarters when one of her mindless servants opened the door to accept the stones. The earthen suit she’d been wearing had melted away from her face, but still covered her from neck to toe. Her face looked haggard, her skin raw, and her hair was missing.
Definitely had a run-in with Connor. That boy had a special gift for burning the hair off women who annoyed him. Ailsa took it as a good sign that perhaps Connor had survived the day.
Now a day and a half later, the queen had emerged and looked outwardly restored, but Ailsa sensed she wasn’t yet whole. What could have hurt her so badly? She’d healed in a matter of minutes from that Mhortair assault in Donleavy months ago when the assassins had severed her torso from her legs and removed her arms. She’d barely seemed annoyed by that trauma, and yet now she still seemed unstable. Her face looked unlined, but gaunt, and her hair extended barely down to her shoulders. She wore a stunning gown of emerald green that covered the rest of her body, but Ailsa had spent too much time around her in recent months not to spot the subtle clues of lingering problems.
