by Laura Wylde
Kayla had lost a lot in the last week since she had met us. I really didn’t like that feeling. I had messed up her life in more ways than one. It was never my intention.
“Tyler, you are going to stay behind and make sure that she is safe. I want you to shadow her until she leaves the area and goes back to the States. I don’t want anything to happen to her, but keep your distance, she has made her decision.”
“Where are you guys going?”
He wasn’t ready to let her go yet, and he wanted to know what I was going to do to make sure that it didn’t happen. I didn’t have an answer for that though. I really didn’t.
“We have to get back and make sure that those damn females don’t burn the place down. They are in a rage. I have never seen them like this before, and I have to protect the clan.”
“What about her?”
He was talking about Kayla. He wanted to go to her, I could see it in his face, we all did, but that wasn’t to be. We were going to have to figure out something else to keep the clan going. Kayla wasn’t going to be the answer that I thought she was. I had rather hoped that she would be, but it just wasn’t meant to be. It was going to take some time to get over that fact, but I knew that I was going to do the best I could.
“We have to move on, Tyler. We all do.”
He didn’t look so sure, but I knew that he would do his job. I knew that we would all do what had to be done, whether we wanted to or not. Panthera had to go on, one way or another. With or without Kayla.
Chapter 17
Kayla
Everything was going tits-up. I had been fired for the fiasco that happened here in Brazil. Not only had I been fired and my funding pulled, but I knew that I was going to be blacklisted when I got back. I was never going to find a job in archaeology again. The career that I had worked to get for the last nine years was dead in the water, and I didn’t think it was ever going to change.
I was blamed for wasting all of the funder’s money. They were even saying that I had made it all up to get more supplies. It couldn’t have been further from the truth, but I had made a promise to Javier that I didn’t mean to break. I told him that I would never say another word about Panthera, and I meant it. I wasn’t going to say anything to anyone about it.
But where did that leave me? I really wasn’t sure what I was going to do and now I was stuck in the hotel room. The room was tiny, and I was unable to ease my mind. I didn’t know what I was going to do, and I found myself full of melancholy. It was all a mess.
Then there was the fact that I had turned down one of the best chances I would ever have of knowing the real truth. I couldn't believe that I had made the decision to leave. Being at Panthera had felt special, it had been more invigorating than anything else I had done a very long time. The pleasure that I found with Eben and Damien was more than I ever thought I would feel before, and I couldn’t imagine now that it was all gone.
The worst part of it was that I’d felt like I belonged. With no family left to speak up, the idea that I fit in anywhere hadn’t felt real at first. It felt like I didn't belong anywhere, and for once, that had felt different. When I’d felt like I was to be a part of Panthera, it had been a great feeling.
But then I got attacked and lost my job. I woke up screaming every night from the damn yellow-eyed monsters in my dreams. I kept thinking I was going to see those eyes everywhere for the rest of my life. I was always going to be looking over my shoulder, waiting for something to jump on me.
That is what made me tell Javier what I told him. I didn't want it to be over, but I knew I had to leave. The fact of the matter was that I had to. I didn't think that I would be alive for very long if I would've stayed. I just didn't realize that my life was going to be over because of the very choices I had made. Or not made. That was a hard pill to swallow.
After a couple of days, I was no closer to figuring out how I was supposed to get home. Not only did I not have a job, but I was homeless as well. When I went downstairs for breakfast at the hotel in the morning, they told me that I had to get my things and leave before noon. Apparently, the credit card that I was using had been cancelled, no doubt because of the funding, and now I had to find some place to stay as well as find enough money to get back on a plane to go back home. It all just felt like it was impossible and I didn't know what to do. I started to get depressed, started to walk aimlessly. I only had one bag of items with me, and I had no idea what to do with myself.
I kept asking myself what I was going to do. But the fact was I didn't have an answer. I was convinced that there was no answer, and I was going to be stuck here for the rest of my life. I would have to stay in the town that had such great stories of the temple, and I would have to hold my tongue, never being able to say out loud what I knew to be true. That Panthera was real and they lived there even now.
I wandered the town aimlessly for what felt like forever. I finally went down to the coastline and there was nothing to see. It had been so beautiful when I first got here, but now it was only dangerous. Now all I could see was how high the waves were and how deep the water was. It didn't seem like anything here was safe. Everything around me was just another obstacle that I had to get over. I was tired of doing that, and I sat down on the pier, watching the water for a while, not really knowing what to do next.
It was about that time that I saw a small black cat just underneath the far edge of the pier. I could see it only because of where I was sitting and then I heard the faintest meow ever. The animal was hurt, that much was clear, and I just wanted to help it.
It felt so right, like everything in my world was crumbling, but this tiny little creature needed my help. It felt good that I was able to do something for someone even if I couldn't do anything for myself.
When I got down to where the cat was, it was afraid of me for a few moments, but it must have realized quickly that I wasn't going to do any harm because it started to walk towards me. It could barely walk on what looked like a broken leg. I picked it up finally, not wanting to watch it struggle any longer, and it instantly started to calm down. It was like it knew that I was going to help it.
“What are we going to do with you, little guy? Where is your mom?”
The animal obviously didn't answer me, but it made me feel a little better, and I hoped to soothe it with my voice. I was basically just talking to myself, trying to figure out what I was going to do. I didn't know where I would bring a cat, and even if I did, I didn't have the money for it.
I said something out loud to the little kitten, and it wasn't long before I heard a noise to the left of me. I had just told the cat that I didn't know how I was going to help it, but then someone just materialized to help me.
“Tyler.”
“Kayla. It's good to see you and talk to you.”
“What are you doing here?”
He just sort of smiled and shrugged. He didn’t have to tell me what he was doing here because I instantly knew. Javier had him keeping me safe, even though I had turned them down.
“I am just here to help. I know somewhere that you can take that animal to get fixed up.”
“I don't have any money. My funding was cut.”
“I know, Kayla. I will take care of it. Just come with me.”
The fact that he had come out of nowhere was not that surprising to me. That man was made to be stealthy; he was a cat after all. I wouldn’t be surprised if he had followed me this whole time. I hadn’t realized it until now and that was only because he had wanted to show himself. If that hadn’t been the case, I am sure that I never would've known that Tyler was even there.
The only way I was going to be able to help the creature was to get help from Tyler. I was too proud to go back for myself but not for the little animal in front of me. It deserved to live and go on, and I knew that the only way that was going to happen was if I took care of the situation with Tyler’s help. He would help me, and then we would part ways. Javier had said that it was my decision, but that
I couldn’t go back.
While we were walking to the other side of town, the other part of me that wanted to stay told me that this was my opportunity. This was the sign to tell me that we were supposed to be together and I was supposed to be here. The idea of going to them and throwing myself on their mercy had been in my mind a couple of times. I liked to think that they would save me and take me back in, but I wasn't so sure now. I had declined their offer, so how was I to know that they hadn’t found another human to fill their needs? I know that it was silly, but I really didn’t like the idea of that at all. I had another feeling about the four of them, and even thinking about being replaced so quickly really got to me.
“Why are you helping me, Tyler? I know that you’re here to watch, not help.”
“You remind me of someone who I knew used to know a long time ago.”
He was finding it hard to get the words out, so I didn’t say anything for a time, hoping that he would tell me what was going on. I wanted to know. I needed to know. I wanted to know about the members of Panthera of the present. Not everything was about the past.
“I used to have a mate, the equivalent to marriage in your world, but it is a lot longer in mine. Marla was the love of my life as some people call them. I would have done anything for her, and I promised to keep her safe. I seriously failed with her, but I promise that I will not fail you, Kayla. I will make sure that you are safe before you leave.”
I could tell that the man was devastated and that he still loved this Marla very much. I wished one day that I made a man love me in the same way and get the same look in his eyes when he was talking about me. If nothing else, it was a beautiful way to be remembered.
“I'm sorry, Tyler. You must have all seen so much. I can't imagine what it would be like to outlive everybody that you know. I can see why you wanted to not be with humans. With your life spans, a relationship between races would only be a blink of an eye to you guys. How could you love someone knowing that they would be gone so soon?”
I had really started this week to understand Tyler and the rest of the men. There were a lot of advantages to how they lived and how they were, but at the same time, there were a lot of disadvantages as well. One of the main ones was the fact that they had to live underground to keep themselves safe. Another one was the loneliness that I figured every one of them had felt at some point. The idea of all of that, paired with the fact that there were no more babies, I couldn’t imagine how hard it must be for all of them.
At the same time I was interested in Tyler, I was starting to understand the women better too. I could see why they hated me so much. To not be able to have any more children for centuries, trying relentlessly. I would hate me too. It wasn’t fair to them, and it didn’t seem right.
“It is okay, Kayla. I have gotten used to a lot of it, but I don't know any other way, so the only choice I have is to just go with it. We really thought that you were going to be the one, but it isn’t the first time that we have been wrong. Javier will figure something out. He always does.”
We got to a small white house on the edge of town, and he knocked in a few short raps as if he was using a code, and an old man came to the door. He introduced himself as Rudolph and invited us in. He saw the animal in my hands, and he was quick to take it out and start examining the cat. I didn’t have to say anything. The man just seemed to know what was wrong, some of it obvious and some not so obvious.
He put a splint on the cat, and I knew that he was trying to figure out what me and Tyler were doing together. I was just happy to see him. I wanted back into Panthera, but pride was a hard thing to get over. I didn’t know if I was ready for that or not. I wanted to go back, but I didn’t know if I was going to be able to ask to stay.
Rudolph went to the back to grab a couple of things, and when he got back, he made it a point to tell me that I had to keep the cat away from other cats while he was healing.
“I don’t have a place to stay right now. I don’t know what I will do with him, but I will find a place as well as I can.”
Tyler told me that he had an idea where I could take the cat, and we left with a wave to Rudolph. He was a very nice man, and I was thankful for Tyler’s help as well.
“Where are you thinking we should take her?”
“We should take the cat to the temple, of course. Nothing will happen to her out there, especially not down in Panthera.”
“You would do that for me?”
“Of course, Kayla. I would do anything to help you.”
“Why? You used to hate me.”
“Not you, Kayla. I didn’t know you and of what I’ve learned, I know that you are a good person. You are special to us, all of us. We just want you to be safe.”
I didn’t know if that was true or not. I still wasn’t sure what they wanted from me, but I didn’t think that it was just my safety. They wanted something more from me. It was a lot to ask, but it was also finally belonging again.
The path taken to the temple was becoming one that I knew well. I couldn’t believe I was going back. I’d asked them a few days ago to let me leave, and they had let me go. But now I was back. I could say that the excuse was the cat, but it wasn’t just a cat. Even considering who they were, I’m sure that it wasn’t a top priority. I didn’t see many stray cats around Panthera before.
That meant that I was here for other reasons. I knew what those reasons were, but I didn’t think anyone else did. I was going to have to say something, explain myself, and hope that they took me back.
It wasn’t long before we were to the clearing, and I knew that I was going to have to talk to Javier. He was the leader, and he was the one who had given me the decision to make. I just really hoped that I would be able to change his mind. It was all that I wanted to do, needed to do.
We got to the clearing, and it was exactly how I remembered it. I don't know why I thought it would be different, that my memory of it would be wrong, that it wasn't very good. It was right in front of me, just the way it was supposed to be.
“How does it feel to be back?”
“It feels good to be back, I want to say it doesn't. I have missed this place.”
“We have missed you as well, Kayla. We all want you to come back. You could have a good life here, and you wouldn't have to worry about anything.”
About the time he said that, we both heard growling from the side of us and it took only looking over to tell me that what he said wasn't right at all. There was a lot to worry about out here, and one of those things was coming at me now. It was just like my nightmare coming true.
But this time, instead of the woman shifter getting ahold of me, Tyler grabbed me up and moved me towards the temple. He had the door open and both of us going down the stairway before I could be attacked. The door shut behind us, and the darkness was giving me the best sense of security at the moment.
Chapter 18
Javier
I wasn’t the only one who was surprised to see Kayla. She came in with Tyler, and none of us knew that she was coming back. I instantly started to hope that this meant she was going to stay, but I knew better than to get my hopes up. How many times have I done that very thing only to find out that she wasn't as into it as I was?
“What are you guys doing here?”
Tyler waited for Kayla to say something, but she didn't. He pulled the cat out of her arms and lifted it up.
“This little girl needs a place to stay for a while, so I told her that she could stay here. I think we're going to name her Amazon.”
Kayla smiled a little bit at the name, and I could see that she was unsure what to do next. There was no telling what was going on here, but I knew that I wasn't the only one who wanted her back. I hadn’t even gotten to touch her yet, and I knew that she was the right thing for us. Not just for our whole race, but our pack in particular. She had brought us back together in a way that hadn’t been done in a while. We needed something to bring us together, and Kayla was it.
“Does that mean you’re going to stay awhile as well, Kayla?”
She finally met my eyes, and I could tell that she still wasn't sure. I knew that it was a lot to put on her, more than most people could handle, but I was still under the assumption that Kayla was different. I didn't know how she was different, or why, all I knew was that she was. She had been brought to us, after all these years alone, and I didn't want to let her go.
I had been anxious to hear from Tyler about how everything was going. While I was sad to hear that she was upset and had been fired, I was still hoping that it would turn out for the good. That it would push her into our arms instead of pushing her away. I waited every day, sure that Tyler would tell me that she had gotten on a plane and was going back home. It was what should have happened, but it wasn't something that I wanted to think about. Now she was here finally, and I didn’t have to.
“I didn't know if I would be welcome here anymore. Not after the way I acted last time. The women were out there when we got here. I don't think that they would ever let me stay here anyway.”
“I promise you that they don't have a choice. This is what needs to be done for our race, and eventually they will come to understand that. It is hard for them to be replaced, and that is how they feel about it right now. I hope that they will be able to move forward some day from all of this.”
She looked unsure, and I wasn't sure what I needed to say to get her to stay. There was a part of me that was sure that she would. It was what was supposed to happen.
