by C. Lymari
For Three Seconds
C. Lymari
For Three Seconds Copyright © 2019-2020 by C. Lymari. All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by information storage and retrieval system, without the written permission of the publisher, except where permitted by law.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, places, characters, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.
Editor: Sandra from One Love Editing
Proofreader: Carmen Richter from CPR editing
Cover Design: NET Hook & Line Designs
www.clymaribooks.com
Contents
Also by C. Lymari
PLAYLIST
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
PAST
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Present
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Epilogue
Freebie
Coming Soon
About the Author
Acknowledgments
Also by C. Lymari
The Homecoming Series
It’s Not Home Without You Hoco #1 -Available Now
(Second Chance/ Forbidden)
The Way Back Home Hoco #2- Available Now
(Friends-to-Lovers)
You Were Always Home Hoco#3- Available Now
(Enemies-to-Lovers/ Second Chances)
HOCO#4- Coming June 2020
(Quincy’s & Jessa’s story.)
STAND ALONE
Falcon’s Prey
Dark Romance April 20,2020
“There are some thoughts you can’t avoid and some feelings you can’t deny.”
To living life with no regrets, and to everyone who battles daily with their demons.
You. Are. Not. Alone.
PLAYLIST
Don’t- Bryson Tiller
No Guidance (feat Drake)- Chris Brown
Trip -Ella Mai
Watchamacallit (feat Chris Brown) – Ella Mai
Some Kind Of Drug – G- Eazy ft Marc E. Bassy
Difference- Ginuwine
Lets Do It Again- J Boog
After The Storm (feat Tylor The Creator,Bootsy Collins) - Kali Uchis
Bad Intentions- Niykee Heaton
Champagne- Niykee Heaton
Waves- Normani, 6LACK
Can’t Be Friends- Trey Songz
L.A. Confidential – Tory Lanez
On Chill (feat Jeremih) – Wale
You can listen to the full playlist here
Prologue
The thumping of my heart woke me up like a hummingbird’s wings beating loudly against my rib cage. My heart knew what my brain had yet to comprehend. I took a deep breath and felt the heavy arm that was draped around my naked waist like a hot brand. It burned my skin, yet I wanted to sink into it and be consumed by the body next to me.
Opening my eyes, I saw a room that was unfamiliar to me. The walls were a light gray color, accents of teal all around. Fuck. When I noticed the lake outside the window, I knew I was still in Jordan’s house. Then it all came back to me, the sins from last night hitting me one at a time, making the flutters in my heart feel like a stabbing pain.
Prom.
Watching Gigi and Gavin.
Getting drunk for the first time since my parents died.
The hands that were wrapped around my waist pulled in closer until I was pressed up to the man who was next to me. His hard erection pushed against my rear; his lips were making their way up my nape. The brush of his lips, the feel of his fingers, the way he said my name, was going to be something I would always remember. Three tears fell when I closed my eyes.
“I want everything, Scar. I want to consume you in and out like you have done to me all these years.”
He pressed me against the wall, his breath mixed with nicotine and alcohol. The tuxedo was long gone; he only had a black shirt on, the sleeves rolled up, and the top button was undone. His hair was a little messy, probably from jumping in the lake earlier.
“I want to be the one you kiss when you have a good day.”
He got closer, his lips taunting mine, and I got weaker, my resolve to stay away crumbling before my eyes.
“I want to be the one you give yourself to when you have a bad day.”
He caged me in between the wall and him, dipped his head, and kissed me.
One.
Two.
Three.
And I knew nothing would ever be the same.
“I want to be your everything.”
He already was, but I didn’t tell him that. Instead, I did the thing I swore I’d never do: I gave in.
One.
We devoured each other, our mouths clashing for dominance.
Two.
Our clothes came off. Our naked flesh was molding into each other, no matter how wrong it was.
Three.
The loss of my innocence staining the white sheets as a reminder of our betrayal.
Three tears fell.
One for myself.
The second for Gavin.
And the third for my best friend.
I’d slept with the man she’d loved since sixth grade, and I didn’t think I regretted it.
“Scar, baby, are you up?” Gavin asked.
I pretended to be asleep. He kissed my forehead, made sure that the cover was on my shoulders so I wouldn’t get cold from the morning breeze, then left the room.
As soon as the door closed, I picked up my discarded prom dress, and I left—not just Jordan’s house, but mine too. I didn’t want to see my best friend or her boyfriend again.
Gavin Dunn had always been between me and my best friend. She might not have known it, but I always had. And it all came down to me. This was my fault because, for three seconds, Gavin made me feel alive. He was the only one. I’d known it since I was twelve, confirmed it when I was sixteen, and now at eighteen, I ruined my life over it.
To understand how I got myself into a web of lies, I have to start from the beginning. I have to go back to Gigi’s twelfth birthday. It was a night that changed everything between the three of us.
Sometimes a kiss can tell you more than words ever can.
One kiss has the power to make you forget, dream, wonder, and believe.
A kiss can make you happy when everything around you is falling apart. It shakes you to the very core and obliterates everything you thought to be true. One kiss has the power to cure your sadness.
But in my case, one kiss was all it took for me to be ruined for everyone else.
I was twelve years old at my best friend’s birthday party when it happened to me. Giuliana, Gigi for short, had a plan that day. It was our first party flying solo—and by flying solo, I mean Gigi’s parents were going to stay upstairs while we had the basement all to ourselves. We had chips, sodas, the iPod on deck, and the perfect plan to get Gavin Dunn to kiss Gigi in a game of spin the bott
le.
We practiced the shit out of that bottle. I tried a gazillion scenarios just so that we could be sure Gigi’s bottle always landed on Gavin. We never took variables into account. Perfection can’t be achieved; nothing is ever guaranteed. That day at the party, Gigi’s hand wavered not a lot, just a little, but enough that the bottle landed on the boy after Gavin.
It sucked.
All that practicing, just so her first kiss could belong to someone else. She was horrified.
I didn’t care much about my first kiss; I figured, what the heck did it matter? It wasn’t like I even knew what love was. I just thought I would kiss more boys as I got older. My first wasn’t going to be all that special compared to that. My brother kissed a lot of girls, and he was in high school. So, this kiss didn’t mean much to me since I figured high school was where I was going to find the real joy of lip-locking.
When it was my turn, I spun the bottle, no calculation, no planning, and it landed on Gavin. It was just one kiss, right? Everyone’s eyes were on us, and I had two choices: balk out and be known as the girl who was too sissy to go through with one silly kiss, or kiss him. Gigi had kissed Dylan. She hadn’t balked out, so why should I? It was one lousy, stupid kiss.
We met halfway in the circle our friends had provided, and we both went for it. I wished I would have known that those three seconds would change my life forever.
On the first second, he put his hands on my nape and brought me closer to him.
On the second, his lips crushed mine—and oh my God, there had never been so much electricity circulating through my body. For the first time in my life, my belly fluttered—those elusive butterflies I’d always heard of finally decided that now was the time to hatch.
On the third second, he pulled away, and I noticed things about him I never did before. He was Gigi’s crush, not mine, but for the first time, I saw him through her eyes— except it was my own eyes. I noticed how his hair was dark but not enough to be considered black. His eyes were not blue, but also not green; he had specks of both in them. It wasn’t fair that he had such pretty eyelashes, long and curled. His lips weren’t too big, but also not flat. They felt nice and cushiony.
When we went back to our seats, I was still on that three-second high. I didn’t notice the way Gigi was fuming, or that Gavin kept stealing glances my way. I was lost in my own little world, and I had no idea what kind of havoc I would unleash.
Replaying that kiss, I knew that although it was fresh, it had become my most favorite memory. Was this how Nick felt all the time?
After the first round, not everyone wanted to go again for fear they were going to kiss someone they didn’t want to. I wanted to take another go and see if those magical three seconds would happen with someone else, or if it was just with Gavin. I hoped they happened with someone else, because then that would mean I would get many more of those magical three seconds, and they wouldn’t be forbidden. Gigi was upset because her first kiss wasn’t with Gavin, and I was upset because I wasn’t going to find out if they belonged to someone else.
Life was so unfair.
Just as I was walking away, Gigi pulled me aside. “How was it, Scar?”
I heard the fear in her voice. Her big blue eyes were ready to shed tears if I said something that would hurt her. I loved Gigi; she was my best friend, the one person who always had my back. We’d been friends since kindergarten. I couldn’t tell her how I felt. She couldn’t know that, for three seconds, everything in my life made sense.
Instead, I looked at her and smiled. “Eh, it was just a kiss, Gigi. No big deal.”
She wasn’t able to hide her relief. Her face lit up with a smile, and her blue eyes started to sparkle.
“I hope it goes better for me; I’m trying again at Kim’s party.” She twirled a piece of her brown hair as she spoke.
I may have nodded, or I may have smiled, but I knew that I was dreading Kimberly’s party. What if I kissed someone else and I didn’t find my three seconds of happiness? Did I want to find out if it was a hit or miss?
I did. Because not knowing was going to drive me mad. I wanted to know if what I felt was something special or if it was just a fluke. I wanted to kiss someone else so, for three seconds, I could forget about everything and feel bliss.
So even if a part of me was scared that I wasn’t going to find three magical seconds with someone else, I had to try.
One
“You’re ready, Scarlett.”
Those were the key words to make me jump-start my life and live again. Not like I actually jumped or was excited to go back to “normal.” Whatever that entailed. My life had been a series of breakdowns, hits, and misses. Those three factors seemed to control me.
At least they used to.
When my shrink said it was time to stop being scared and just go out and live well, I had plans to finally enroll in a university instead of continuing in community college, but my brother Nick had other ideas. We fought, we argued, and in the end, I was going to the university he was going to be coaching at. I told myself I would barely see him since he was going to be all about football while I would be submerged in books.
I was a grown-up, and I didn’t need my brother to fight my battles for me, but at the same time, he was all I had. He’d stood by me when I went batshit crazy, and despite that, he didn’t hold it against me.
So, yeah, I grew up. For some, it’s slow and steady; time lets you be reckless and stupid. Make mistakes, and you learn from them. For others, it’s fast; they see the world, and they know things can’t stay as they are.
For me, it was a mixture of the two. I had life rip me to shreds and spit me back out. Too numb to feel, I let myself dive headfirst into something I knew was not meant for me. Three years later, and here I was telling myself that I’d grown and my mistakes did not define me. Well, at least that’s what my therapist said.
The air was starting to get fresh and the leaves were losing some of their vivid green, a sure sign fall was just around the corner. Not that it ever got too cold in Northern California.
I sat in my car, looking at the house that was in front of me. This was going to be my home for the next year. This was the place I would use to let go of my every fuck-up and reinvent myself.
One of the reasons my brother wanted me near was because he believed I got anxiety with massive crowds and that was the reason I went to community college. In reality, I had no problem with massive crowds. I enjoyed getting lost in a sea of people who didn’t give a crap about me. You left me alone, I had no problem with you. My triggers were him and her. Well, they were since I hadn’t seen either of them since that night. And my nightmares were the other trigger, but since I hadn’t had one in three years, I was okay. I was finally healed.
So, I wasn’t going to think about the fact that my brother got a coaching position at this college and used it as an opportunity to drag me with him. My cheering and dancing days were long gone, and the campus was big enough. I would never run into my brother. The second part was, since my cheering days were over, I wouldn’t have to run into them either.
Nick had no idea what had happened on my senior prom night. He had no idea the guy that had just helped him get a job had deflowered his baby sister. Not that he had that much power, but he was the number one running back in the county, and he and Nick were comfortable with each other since my brother had been helping him for a long time.
Shaking my head, I let go of all the memories of him, her, and me. Here I was starting fresh, and I didn’t need to walk into campus with webs dangling off me.
Grabbing my purse, I made my way to the house. I knocked on the door timidly, and a part of me knew this was not like me. I didn’t used to be scared of anything; I would jump into crowds and talk to people freely. Now, even looking at my own reflection frightened me.
The door opened, and a gorgeous brunette stood at the entrance.
“Can I help you?”
“I’m looking for Audrey,” I said l
ow enough to be considered a whisper.
“Auds! Someone is at the door for you!” she yelled loud enough that I was sure the whole block heard.
It took a few seconds, but Audrey came, and I was able to breathe properly again. She was about the only person I’d kept in contact with since I left everything behind, and that was because she was tenacious and didn’t give up on me. She texted and called until I was forced to answer her so she would leave me alone. She made sure to stay in my life because she saw that I needed a friend. She was right—I didn’t tell her that, but it was just who Audrey was. She just knew these things.
When I’d finally decided to come to college, she was the first person I called. Well, the only person I could call. Everyone else was nonexistent in my life. Audrey was more than happy to have me, and since one of her roommates had moved out, she’d offered me a place to live.
Anything was better than living with Nick.
“Scarlett.” Audrey smiled at me, her gorgeous tan skin striking against her white teeth.
She hugged me to her body tightly, and I couldn’t breathe. Feeling a little awkward, I patted her back.
“Hey, Auds,” I said as she pulled away.
Her eyes went soft, and she moved aside, gesturing for me to come in.
“I’m so happy you’re here.” Audrey looped her arm with mine and led me into the house.
