by C. Lymari
“Can I get—”
“Mint chocolate chip shake, large fries, and a cheeseburger,” Gavin finished for me.
I nodded because I sometimes forgot how much he knew about me. And also, I was just going to ask for a shake, and he got me the whole meal.
We went on our way, Gavin handing me the hot food while he kept on driving. I couldn’t help myself and started to snack on my fries.
“You still have that habit,” he said.
When I looked at him, there was a small smile.
“It’s compulsive.”
“Give me some.” He opened his mouth, and I looked down at the fries. “So, only you can eat the food?”
“See, by the time you take me wherever you are taking me, my fries will be gone. But if you eat now, your fries will also be gone, so I will have no fries to eat once we actually get to wherever we are going.”
He shook his head, but he did it smiling, and he didn’t ask for more fries.
A few minutes later, he was pulling up at a weird-looking meadow. There was no entrance, no roads with names anymore. He took a turn through a little path that seemed to be imprinted by tires.
“Whoa,” I said once we stopped at a pretty-looking lake. “How did you know about this place?”
“Ollie’s parents own it.” He pointed to a cabin that was farther down. “They use it when they go hunting.”
I scrunched my nose at that last part.
“Eat, and then we are talking.”
I stop midbite. What he said made me not want to eat. Famous last words, right? I ate my fries and drank most of my milkshake. I was too nervous to eat the actual burger. Gavin had no problem eating; he knew what we were going to talk about, so that probably helped too. My hands started to shake as the silence wore on and I waited for what he would say. I was going to take a sip of my shake, but the drink slipped through my fingers.
“Oh shit,” I screeched when it landed facedown on the car floor. Right away, I bent to pick it up, glad it wasn’t too much that spilled.
I turned my head to Gavin, who looked unfazed, and I grimaced at him. “I’m sorry.”
Then I set the remainder of my drink in the cupholder, grabbed some napkins, and cleaned his precious car.
“Anyone else, Scar, and I would have been fucking pissed,” he said calmly.
“I’m so sorry… It’s all clean now.”
Gavin had stopped eating. He had his seat back, his legs a little spread. “I’m pretty sure you could wreck my car and I wouldn’t give a damn as long as you were okay.”
My breath hitched. God, things were about to get real now, weren’t they?
“I knew you would be at that first party,” he said, and I stopped breathing. “Audrey told me to stay away, but God, Scar, I couldn’t do it. Not after not seeing you for years. I wanted to get a good look at you because I kept telling myself that everything I felt for you was a figment of my imagination That what I dreamed up couldn’t be as good as the reality. Then you were right there, and fuck me, you looked gorgeous, and you were better than anything I could remember.”
My mind was spinning. I felt a sense of betrayal but also a sense of want and belonging.
“Audrey lied to me?” Now I couldn’t help but think about everything that was my life since arriving back at campus.
“I fell for you at twelve, Scarlett,” he said instead. “Confirmed it at sixteen, knew I was fucked for you at eighteen, and now I know that I’m still going to feel this way for the next ten years.”
My head was bent, looking at the spot where I had dropped my shake because the space in the car was too small. The air was getting too heavy, and Gavin was telling me things I couldn’t—I didn’t want to deal with now.
“You picked her over me,” I whispered because if I said it aloud, I would cry, and he would know just how much he had hurt me. His actions had scarred me, and I had barely found the wound.
“You picked her over me too, Scar. Time and time again. You are still picking her over me, over us. You hurt me, Scar, and I was young, and I wanted to hurt you back.”
I flinched at that last part.
“The moment I went out with Gigi and I got to know more of you, I knew I had fucked up, and you would never be with me because she was your friend… The whole time I was with her, I was a better boyfriend to you than I was with her. You might not have noticed since you weren’t with us all the time, but trust me, Scar, she did, and she hated you for it.”
He was right, but I didn’t want to admit it.
“Look at me, Scarlett, please.”
I took a moment just to breathe in and breathe out until it felt like I wasn’t drowning, then I turned my gaze to look at him.
“I’m going to be honest with you because I am tired of going in circles. I need to concentrate on my game, but I can’t do that if we are up in the air. I know by now you know that I have been with a lot of girls.”
My stomach churned at the information.
“I was lonely, Scar. I was trying to fill a void that I didn’t even know was there. Every single time my thoughts went to you. Last year, when one of the coaches was leaving, I thought of Nick. Yeah, he’s good, but the school would have found someone just as talented as he is. I went back home for Christmas, and I saw the for sale sign on your childhood home, and I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. I would never see you again, and that terrified me. I stalked your social media and found nothing. Nobody from school had kept up with you except for Audrey. I know this because I asked around. When I looked up Nick, I saw a picture of you two, and I felt things I hadn’t felt since prom night just by looking at it. You looked so gorgeous, but so fucking sad too. So, I reached out to my coaches, and they seemed interested; then I contacted Nick, and he did the rest.”
I couldn’t even look at Gavin right now while I tried to absorb everything he wanted to tell me.
“Once he got the job, I told Auds to not rent the room to anyone, because I knew I couldn’t approach you with Nick so close.”
“But in Audrey’s house, it was the perfect moment to come and hate fuck me,” I spat.
Gavin let out a tortured laugh. “Even when I hated you for making me want you so bad, to the point it fucking hurt, I was getting something out of it. I got to see you, and that fucking elated me in a way that only football has. I wanted to hate you when I saw you, because you, the one girl who kept rejecting me time and time again, were the one I couldn’t get out of my fucking system. I’m getting drafted, Scarlett—I knew this was my last shot to make us work. For the first time in years, we have a real shot to be together, and I want it Scar. I want that chance.”
While I tried to process what he said, I was still stuck on his words.
You picked her over me too, Scar. Time and time again. You are still picking her over me, over us.
I knew he had a point, but I also didn’t like to feel like my whole life at college had been a lie.
“Say something.”
“I don’t know what you want me to say?” I turned to look at him, feeling as lost as I did after the accident. Then that memory made me think of him and how he was the only one who saw past the façade. The only one who ran after me to make sure I was okay.
I wasn’t paying attention and was startled when Gavin picked me up and dragged me to his lap. There wasn’t much space for both of us in this seat. I ended up straddling him. Not that either of us seemed to mind.
“All I want you to say is that you won’t run away. That you’ll give us the shot we deserve.” He held my gaze as he held on to my waist.
Sometimes life came down to moments. Moments that seemed so insignificant that we didn’t know how it might impact the rest of our lives. In a moment, a little girl scared to hurt her best friend said no, and that changed everything. Now, in this moment, I was a woman, and I was terrified, but I wanted to take a leap and believe.
Gavin leaned up to me and gave me a quick kiss. Never in my life had three secon
ds passed by so fast.
“Still the sweetest lips I ever tasted.”
The rasp of his breath caressed my skin, and I knew I couldn’t deny it any longer. This was our thing: three seconds, but never more, because we knew if we went past them, we would be reduced to nothing.
I brought my hands up and held on to his cheeks, relishing the feel of his scruffy jaw, how perfectly I seemed to fit against him. He made me feel small and protected. Since my parents passed away, I only felt okay when I was with him. The pain I had been dealing with would take the back seat to him. It didn’t matter how wrong or right we were for each other because, in stolen moments, right or wrong didn’t exist. Sometimes in a moment, you get everything you ever wanted.
“Please kiss me.” My voice was hoarse, the words foreign to my whole being.
His hands went to my head, holding me tight, making sure I wouldn’t run scared while his lips descended on mine. There it was instantly. My heart strummed for three glorious seconds. All the reasons why it was wrong didn’t matter. The heart didn’t know what was wrong or what was right. It didn’t know that one simple little action could cause a war. The heart only wanted to be happy, and Gavin made mine happy. When he opened his mouth, I knew this was it—this was the moment when everything was going to change again. It wasn’t going to be three seconds anymore, and that was okay.
“I can’t go back to like it was before, Scar,” he stated.
“I’m scared, Gavin,” I whispered.
“Baby,” he rasped. “I’d die before I let anything happen to you again.”
I could never find the right words to say to him, so I didn’t. I leaned down and kissed him again as I put my hands over his shoulders. I kissed him with a hunger I had yet to realize I had within me. My hips started to move on their own, my sex finding delicious friction on Gavin’s bulge.
“Jesus, Scar,” he moaned against my mouth. His hands were roaming my backside; my dress had ridden up to my waist.
“Gav,” I moaned loud enough that it echoed through the car.
Gavin’s breathing was jagged, and I was panting. He squeezed my ass, then let his hands wander down to my center. His fingers were barely touching me, but it was enough to make me squirm.
“You’re so wet,” he ground out, his silver eyes full of lust. “Spread your legs more.”
I complied. He sat up straighter and leaned me against the steering wheel, my hands on his shoulders for support. One of his hands came down to my leg, and it started to trail up my thigh. I felt two fingers tease me over my panties, moving back and forth. Gavin chuckled when my hips started moving. He pushed my panties to the side and slid his fingers through my pussy lips. My panting was getting louder, but I was in a frenzy because he was petting me and not touching me.
“Gavin,” I said, frustrated.
“Hmmm.” He looked at me with a smirk.
Before I could say anything, he brought his fingers to my clit and started to play with it. He moved in circles and teased it, and I felt like I had fire in my veins, so needy, hot, and empty at the same time.
“Fuck, Scar, you hear how wet you are?” If I was in a coherent state, I might have blushed. “Now, fuck my fingers.”
Gavin inserted two fingers inside of me, and I started to ride them. When he scissored them, I threw my head back in a moan. The moment he pulled them out, I nearly groaned at the loss.
“You look so hot right now,” Gavin groaned in my ear before he kissed my neck. He peppered kisses all over my throat and my shoulders as his hands kept moving, kept touching my pussy. I felt the pad of his finger grazing my little nub, and I jumped at the contact. Gavin continued to kiss my neck as he brought two fingers to my clit, rubbing until I was a wanton mess in his lap.
“Gav,” I moaned once I was so close.
He kept circling my clit, and then he removed his fingers and inserted them in me, making me scream as I started coming. I screamed his name as he bit my breast through my clothes. It took me a second to gather my breathing. I was draped across Gav as he leaned back in his seat. His fingers rubbed soothing circles on my clit, bringing me back from the high.
“I didn’t know it could be so consuming,” I mumbled against his chest.
“For me, it’s only ever been with you,” he replied.
I sat up to look at him. “What about you?”
The bulge in his pants was crazy noticeable, and I could feel it poking my butt.
“I want into your hot little pussy so bad, but for now, I’m happy with all of these.” He kissed my lips, making me open my mouth for him. “And I love doing this to you.”
He kept moving his fingers in my sex and then brought them out. I could see my wetness coating them, and when he brought them to his lips, I bit my lips to stop myself from moaning.
“I love your taste,” he said.
I blushed.
“Until I know I’m in here, Scar…” He brought his hand to my chest right where my heart was beating like crazy. “…I won’t go in you again.”
Twenty-Two
We were on our way to the game, and every time I closed my eyes, I pictured Scarlett waving goodbye to me on Monday night. I’d spent all day with her, and it still didn’t feel like it was enough. The energy in the bus was a little tense, but I wasn’t worried if my head was in the game today.
“You good today?” Quincy said next to me as he pulled out his duffel.
I perked up when I saw the yellow box he took out of his bag. He was a small-town boy, and his small town loved him. Every week they sent him baked goods—the asshole got a PO box because everyone kept eating them. When he offered me one, I didn’t hesitate.
“I’m good. My head is cleared. We got this.” I gave him my fist so he could pound it. “Hey, do you like your agency? They gave me a card a few weeks back, but I wasn’t in the headspace to make good decisions.”
I needed to get my shit together.
“Yeah, they’re solid. I like Cal; he’s a’ight,” Quincy said. “Do you think of where you’ll end up after the draft?”
I threw my head back and groaned. I had just climbed one hurdle, and it felt like I was going toward another. I had until graduation to make Scarlett fall in love with me and follow me to wherever I ended up. Easy, right?
“You don’t like your choices, those states, or why the look?”
“I don’t know. So far, it looks like Washington, Texas, or maybe Colorado. You?”
“Cali, Philly, Texas,” he replied.
“I need to convince my girl she’s moving after college.”
Quincy looked at me like I was crazy. The guy was somewhat paranoid. I was sure he doubled wrapped his junk.
“You’re about to enter the big leagues. You can tap actresses, models, singers, and you want to come into all that with a ball and chain? You’re fucked-up.” Quincy looked at me with pity.
I shook my head at him, but didn’t answer, because he didn’t get it. For guys like us, all it took was one game for us to fall in love with the sport and want to put up with all the crazy shit that came with it. And it also took one special girl to change the game. So I let him think I was crazy, but in reality, my head was clearer than it had ever been.
“Now, let’s win this game, ’cause I got a girl watching back at home,” I told Quincy. He shook his head with a grin but gave me his fist.
We were on a winning streak. My stats were at their best; I was top three in the country. Things with Scarlett were going more than okay. Except right now, I only got to see her on Mondays. It sucked, but it eased me, knowing she was somewhat mine. I was waiting outside her building, waiting for her to get out of class. When I saw her, my heart thumped, and I forced myself to walk and not run to her. She was talking to Isaac; he saw me, but she didn’t. I gave Isaac a nod, and he left us alone.
“Hi,” she whispered when she noticed me.
“I got you something, but you have to give me a kiss first,” I teased her.
She seemed to th
ink about it, and it was one of the things I loved about her. She didn’t give in to me. Things were not easy even when they were.
“Would I even want it?”
I bent close to her ear to whisper, “Oh, baby, you’ll want it.”
She shook her head, but she did it smiling; then, she got on her tiptoes, put her hands around my neck, and kissed me. I wrapped my hands around her waist and forgot about the world until someone yelled, “Get a room, Dunn.”
Scarlett was the first to pull away, looking embarrassed. I grabbed my backpack and took out the Pringles snacks I had for her. Her eyes lit up, and she took them from me greedily.
“I have Thursday free,” I told her.
“Yeah?” She tipped her head back and gave me a grin.
“I want to take you on a date.” My voice got gruff. I’d gone about this all wrong, but fuck me if it hadn’t all felt right. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, but I ignored it. “What do you say?”
“I’m a popcorn hog and expect a slushy too. Oh, and no boring boy movies,” she said as we got to my car.
I pressed her against the door and bent my forehead to hers. “Scar, baby, I know. I know your likes and dislikes. You think I’d do anything to fuck up my first date with you?”
She tipped her head so she could meet my head. “I don’t remember the last time I was this happy, Gav.”
Fuck me. That right there undid me. I closed my eyes, and I kissed her again. This seemed to be the way she communicated best. Kisses, no matter if they were stolen or given. Right or forbidden.
Once she was in her seat, I drove to the frat house. I was somewhat nervous because it was the first time I was bringing her over.
When we pulled to the house, I held her hand so I could walk her to my room. Some of the guys were there watching television while others ate.
“Oh look, it’s my kissing partner,” Drew said from where he sat on the sofa.
I glared at my president while Scarlett timidly waved at him. With her hand in mine, I introduced her to my frat brothers, showed her around, and then walked her up to my room. The staircase leading up to the second floor had the most recent class pictures. Scarlett paused when she found my freshman-year picture. Her hands traced over my features. Then she paused, going over another frat brother. I expected her response before she said it.
