“You can talk, but I’m leaving to go and find Lea. I stayed here with my thumb up my ass long enough.”
Skinner’s lips twitch into a smile. “Bring her home safe and she’s yours.”
I chuckle, walking past him to straddle my bike. Starting the engine, I look over at him. “She’s mine anyway, Skin. Always has been, always will be,” I shout over the roar of my bike.
“Take care of her or I’ll kill you.” He shrugs.
It’s my turn to smile, my lips turning up as I look over at the man that has been Lea’s father for the past several years. Hell, he’s been more of a father than any other man has in her life.
He loves her, I can see it in his eyes, I can see the fierceness he feels for her and how much it kills him to hand her wellbeing over to me.
“I’ll bring her home,” I say.
Without giving him a chance to respond, I take off out of the clubhouse parking lot with a roar and head toward the Cash Bar. I know that Ice is somewhere along this road, and I plan to team up with him to find Lea.
Fuck.
I have to find her.
I can’t have the last conversation between us be what it was. No more fucking pain for her, no more heartache.
At least, not purposely.
I fucked up when I marked her without telling her the truth. I should have waited, but I couldn’t. I knew, I fucking knew that she wouldn’t want anything to do with me if she thought that I was truly engaged.
Gripping my handlebars tightly, I pull over to the side of the road as soon as Ice’s bike comes into view. Kicking my stand down, I disengage from my bike. He’s standing at the road, his head tipped and his hands on his hips.
He doesn’t even look up to me, and I wonder just what the fuck he’s found.
“There was a shootout here. There’s blood, but our guys didn’t find any bodies when they grabbed Coda’s bike, did they?” he asks, still not looking at me.
“No, just the bike.”
“Fuck. That means that Martel’s men cleaned up some bodies.”
“Caron said that they were alive, that Martel’s men were looking for them,” I say, my heart beating inside of my chest so fucking hard that my ribs ache.
Ice nods, he scrubs his hand down his face, then lifts his head to look to me.
“We’ll find her,” he murmurs, though he does not sound convinced in the fucking slightest.
“Look at the ground, see if you can see any sign of their movements. If we can get a general direction of where they went, then maybe we can catch up to them. If they were thrown from that bike, odds are one, or both, of them is injured and moving slowly.”
My stomach turns at the idea of her being hurt. Until this moment, I haven’t given myself permission to think about that. I haven’t allowed the idea to pass into my thoughts. I don’t want to think about her being hurt, out in the woods, in the middle of the night with Coda or alone.
Fuck.
I don’t want to think about it now.
“Got a footprint, got a couple,” Ice shouts from about twenty feet away from me.
Turning toward him, I practically sprint to his side. We start to walk, following the messy, muddy path, that we hope is theirs.
LEA
I try to imagine myself in the sun, on a warm beach somewhere instead of this wet, cold, muddy ground. It doesn’t work. In fact, it does the exact opposite. I feel colder, dirtier.
Biting my bottom lip, I hold back my whimper. I feel the weakest that I ever have. If I ever thought that I was weak before, I didn’t know what the definition was, not until now.
Curling into a ball, I try to make myself as small as possible without causing any more pain to my hurt arm. I can’t tell if it’s broken or not.
At first, I thought that it was because the pain was so incredibly bad, but now that it’s been hours it’s worn off, or maybe I’ve just become used to it.
My mind begins to wander and I think about Carter, of all people. That fucking bastard. Visions of his lifeless body appear in my head. I smile to myself, remembering how Baby saw the mark on my face and just took action without even speaking.
It was commanding. It was reckless. It was the sexiest thing I had ever seen in my life. I fell in love with him all over again in that exact moment. It was one of the stupidest things that I could have done, but even after everything, I’m not sure that I even regret becoming his.
I hear his voice in the distance. Laughing to myself, I wonder if this is how I die, imagining his voice in the background?
“Lea,” he shouts. “Tiny. Baby, where are you?” he calls out.
My entire body jerks at the sound of my nickname. I decide what harm could it be to call back out to the mirage of a voice.
“Mitchell,” I call, my voice sounding hoarse and raspy.
“Lea?” he screams, his voice even louder than it was just a moment ago.
This is it. I know that I’m done for. I’m going to die. I need to come to peace with that, but no matter how hard I try, I can’t stop thinking about all of the things that I still want to do with my life.
I want to get married, have kids, build a life with the man that I love. Even if he doesn’t always deserve it, he has all of my love—he always will.
My eyes flutter closed and I decide to let myself escape, just for a while. I’ll try to wake up again when Coda comes back. Right now, I just need to rest.
Coda will come back, soon. I know it. When he does, he’ll take me out of here and straight to Baby. I’m under no illusion that our plan of me going to my mom and Skinner’s is still in effect. Honestly, I’m not sure that I want it to be, either.
I want Baby.
Deep in my heart of hearts, I know that I’ll forgive him for whoever that woman was. I mean, he’s going to suffer for that shit, but ultimately, I’ll forgive him and I know that he’ll make it all up to me, too.
I just know.
This life was meant to be for us.
Together.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
BABY
“You hear that?” I ask Ice.
He lifts his chin, his eyes focusing in the same direction as my own. “Female. It’s her, has to be,” he announces.
I want to run toward her, toward that small voice that is somewhere in these fucking woods around us. I don’t. Deciding to stay with Ice, I wait to see what his plan of action will be.
“Slowly, if Coda is with her, we don’t want to scare him,” he murmurs.
With a nod, I follow behind him as we make our way toward what I hope is Lea. We don’t call out her name again. Ice has his head down, so I keep mine up to scan the perimeters.
It’s cold, damp and I wonder how she’s surviving out here. I don’t care that it’s only been hours, she shouldn’t suffer a fucking minute. She’s my woman and I should always take care of her.
I’ve fucking failed.
I’ve failed her.
I’ve failed everyone.
I’m going to let her go. She deserves better anyway. Better than someone who was willing to whore himself the way that I have. If it wasn’t for me fucking everything in a skirt, Chardonnay would have never slipped right into my bed, and the Devils’ life.
This whole fucking thing is my fault.
With a nod to myself, I decide that I’m going to be better. For her.
I’m going nomad as soon as all of this is over. I’m going to take myself out of the equation, give her a chance to find someone good, better than me. Someone that she deserves, because God fucking knows that she doesn’t deserve the man that I am.
“Fuck,” Ice hisses.
Following his gaze, I freeze in my spot. It’s her. I can see the moonlight shining off of her sexy as fuck gray dreads. She’s curled in a ball, alone, on the fucking dirty ass cold ground.
Without thinking, I take off into a sprint toward her. Lea. Fucking Lea. She’s all that’s good and here she is in the goddamn mud. I brought her down here, brought her down to my dirty as fuck
level.
This is all my fault.
Falling down to my knees in front of her, I reach out for her and scoop her into my arms, holding her against my chest. Her body is cold, lifeless, limp, but I can feel her breath against my neck, even if it’s faint, it’s there.
“Where’s Coda?” Ice asks a few moments later.
Turning my head, I look up at him. “No fucking clue.”
Ice tells me to stay where I am, and I hear him walk away from me. I’m not moving, not until it’s time to carry her the fuck out of these woods.
“Lea, you okay? Tiny?” I ask, pulling her deeper against my body.
If I could take her inside of me right now to protect her, I would. She doesn’t respond to me. It doesn’t matter, I’ll hold her until she’s warm, until she wakes up. I’m not letting her the fuck go until I know without a doubt that she’s okay.
“Coda’s good. He contacted the clubhouse from a restaurant about five minutes ago. He’s being picked up and I told Snake that we got Lea. He’s sending a van here for her. No way in fuck we can transport her on either of our bikes,” he explains.
My body tightens at the idea of them taking her away from me, putting her in that van and then watching it drive away. I growl at the idea. Ice doesn’t comment, but I can feel his eyes focused on me.
Standing, I cradle Lea in my arms and silently, we walk back toward the road, and our bikes. I clear my throat after we’ve taken a few steps.
“You ready to talk?” Ice asks.
“About?”
“Anything, everything. Known you for a while now, Baby. You’re the fun guy. You’re never this guy,” he states.
“This guy?”
Ice chuckles. “I watched your face turn fucking dark at the thought of being separated from her. You love her.”
“I do,” I admit.
Maybe I shouldn’t admit it, keep it to myself, but I can’t. I do love her. I think I always have, just like she said she’s always loved me. It’s always been Lea for me, even when it wasn’t romantic, it was always her.
“But you’re not staying?” he asks.
My feet stumble beneath me before I straighten myself. “I’m not?” I ask.
He hums, ignoring my question. “Don’t play that game with me, Baby. I can tell when someone is about to run. God knows my parents ran off more times than I could count. One or the other was always running.”
“She deserves better,” I admit.
I chuckle. “No fuckin’ shit, they all do. They always will.”
“Lea will get better though. I’m not going to stand in her way.”
Ice stops, my feet stop their movement as well, the edge of the forest just a few feet away. Turning to face him, I pull Lea a bit closer to me, my eyes finding his and I wait.
“Then you’re a bigger fool than I ever took you for,” he murmurs.
I growl, unable to stop myself from making the sound. “I was willing to marry some fucking cunt just so that the club would have easy transports. I marked Lea when I was still engaged to that same cunt. I am worthless, a piece of shit. I fucked Chardonnay after leaving Lea’s bed. Marked Lea so nobody would look at her because I’m a selfish piece of shit and then fucked Chardonnay to keep her goddamn mouth shut and buy some time.”
Ice takes a step forward, lifting his hand and wrapping his fingers around the back of my neck. I feel his forehead press against mine, my eyes automatically close and I inhale a deep breath. He pushes off of me almost immediately and I open my eyes to look directly at him.
“Don’t be a goddamn pussy, Baby.” He grins. “You fucked up. You got forever to make it up to her. She’s your Old Lady. Don’t forget that shit.”
I open my mouth to respond, to tell him that it’s just not that simple, but I’m interrupted by the sound of a van and several bikes.
Ice walks through the forest edge first, and slowly, I follow behind him. I feel almost reluctant. I know that Lea needs medical attention, but selfishly, I want to keep her to myself—always.
LEA
There is a screaming that wakes me up. There is pain radiating in my arm and the sound happens again, then I realize that it’s me.
I’m screaming.
It’s too much, I scream again, then there is a crash somewhere in the distance before something fills my veins and everything goes peacefully dark again.
My eyes flutter open what feels like moments later. The room is dark, and I inhale, waiting for the scent of antiseptic to fill my lungs, but it’s not there. Apparently, I’m not in a hospital. I frown, wondering how I was able to stay out of one. I was pretty hurt.
“Lea?” a husky voice murmurs.
Glancing down, I notice that Baby is sitting at the side of my bed in a chair. He wraps his hand around mine gently, too gently.
“Where am I?” I ask, my voice hoarse and my throat slightly pained.
He sits up a little straighter, reaching for something, bringing it over to me before I feel a straw against my lips.
Opening my mouth slightly, I press my lips against the straw and suck some cool water down my throat. I watch, as well as I can in the dark, as he sets the glass down and returns to his seat.
“Mitchell?” I ask, feeling confused and scared after what has happened and wondering if I’m okay.
“What do you remember?” he asks.
I tell him that I was at Cash Bar and asked Coda to take me to my mom and Skinner’s. I watch as his jaw clenches when I say that part. If I could take it back, I would, I would take it all back. I would have stayed at the clubhouse, in my room and never left.
If only I would have known what was going to happen.
“I found you after everything went down, we went looking for you. Ice traced your tracks,” he explains.
I don’t know what that means, and I’m kind of afraid to ask. Choosing to ignore being tracked, like an animal, I decide to ask about Coda.
“He’s good, a little better shape than you were, but not by much,” he murmurs. There’s no malice in his voice, so I assume that Coda is safe from his wrath.
I try to lift my arm, but pain shoots throughout my entire body from the move. “Stay still. Doc had to set your arm, Tiny. It was a fucking mess. He doesn’t think it’s broken though, it was dislocated.”
“I woke up while he was fixing it, didn’t I?”
“Yeah, they gave you some shit to knock you out. Fuck, Tiny, I’m so goddamn sorry,” he rasps.
“You are?” I ask, wondering just exactly what he’s sorry about.
He grips my hand a bit tighter, looking directly at me. “Everything, Lea. I’m sorry about everything. Fuck. I fucked up, big time,” he says. “Shouldn’t have claimed you when I wasn’t free of that bitch yet. Shouldn’t have tried to lock you up away from everything. Shouldn’t have done anything until I knew that the situation was under control.”
“Is it now?” I ask.
“Almost,” he admits with a shrug of his shoulder.
Shifting so that I’m sitting up slightly, I lean forward, lifting my good arm and cupping his cheek with my hand. He looks so worried and maybe because I’m on some kind of drug, I think he looks adorable when I know that I should be pissed the fuck off.
“You should be sorry,” I whisper. “I should hate you, but I don’t.”
“Why?”
“Because I hate you so much that I love you,” I breathe, closing the distance between us and pressing my lips to his. “Make it up to me, Mitchell. Promise me that you’ll make it up to me.”
“Spend my life doin’ that for you, Tiny. Fuck, I’ll spend my whole goddamn life doing that for you.”
“I’ll allow it,” I say against his mouth.
His lips press against mine and that’s how my mother finds us. She shoos Baby out of the room, and I giggle as he walks out, stopping just at the doorjamb, his eyes finding mine before he disappears.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
BABY
I throw back the shot li
ke it’s water. Someone slides up to the bar next to me, but I ignore them. I’ve been ignoring them all for the past two hours. Drinking and ignoring everyone.
“You better not be thinking about running,” Skinner barks from next to me.
Clearing my throat, I don’t look over at him. “Why? Isn’t that what you want?”
He laughs, humorlessly. “You did all this shit, all of this, for her. To have her and now you’re going to be a pussy and run? I thought you had a bigger dick than that, Baby.”
I would laugh if I thought that he was being funny or that this conversation warranted a chuckle. I do have a big dick, biggest in the room, that doesn’t mean anything though. Not a goddamn thing except that it’s easy to get bitches to fall on it, legs spread.
“She deserves better than the life that I can give her,” I admit, my words slurring together from the booze.
Skinner watches me, I can feel his gaze burning a hole into the side of my face, but I don’t turn to look at him. He makes a noise in the back of his throat then I hear him stand and take a step back. He doesn’t leave though. He’s still watching me.
“She does, you’re right, but you marked her as yours. So, get off your fuckin’ ass and be that man that she deserves.”
Skinner finally walks away and I grab the bottle and forego the shot glass, lifting it to my lips and taking a long pull from it. Closing my eyes, I let the liquor burn down my throat.
Standing, my body sways. I shuffle toward Lea’s room, resting my forehead against the door, I close my eyes. I can hear voices on the other side and I know it’s Lea and Gracie talking. Turning the knob, I open the door and take a step inside.
“I’m going to go home now, unless you want me to stay?” Gracie asks.
“Go ahead, go home. Will you come back tomorrow?” Lea asks.
“Every day, Lea. I’ll come back every day,” she whispers.
Gracie stands, turning her back on Lea only to stop when she sees me standing there watching them. I wait for her to walk toward me, but she doesn’t. Instead, she just stares at me for a moment.
Mixed with Trouble: A CASH BAR NOVEL Page 16
