by Londyn Skye
With tears in his eyes, J.R. grabbed what was left of the body part he had used to invade the delicate walls of Lily’s insides. It now dangled loosely from his skin, severed into two bloody pieces. With the pain having paralyzed J.R., James easily used his free leg to kick him backward. He then sat up and snatched the bayonet out of his leg, finally unpinning himself. Despite his gaping wound, James effortlessly stood up and glared down at his brother, his soulless blood-red eyes speaking of what was next to come. Trying to evade further torture, J.R. used the little strength he had left to cowardly crawl away. James put his heavy boot on his brother’s back, easily stopping his escape. He wrapped J.R.’s thick mane around his hand and pulled him up. With blood now pouring from the gaping wound between his legs, J.R. sat weakened on his knees, shivering like a frightened puppy.
For four years, James had envisioned slaying his brother in a slow demonic fashion that would have made his father seem like a saint. But their surrounding conditions did not allow the time for the sort of torture that James truly wished to inflict. He, therefore, quickly straddled J.R.’s back, like the useless animal he was. James then gripped his hair tight again and yanked his head back, exposing every critical vein in his throat. “Now, you beg for mercy,” he grunted through gritted teeth.
“M-make it q-quick,” J.R. begged, his true cowardice revealed in his quivering voice.
Years of pent-up rage suddenly ripped through James’s vocal cords, erupting as a primordial growl. Vengeful fury ignited his hand as he then sliced his brother’s neck from ear to ear. As the blade glided across J.R.’s throat, James’s archaic screaming continued. The anger and pain, from all that he had lost at his brother’s hands, then suddenly came gushing from James’s eyes, much like the blood from J.R.’s life-ending wound.
Upon his brother’s slaying, pain finally returned to James’s body. His right leg suddenly felt like it was continuously being trampled by teams of wild horses. After his brother’s lifeless body slumped to the ground, James dropped his blade and fell to his knees. Every muscle in his body suddenly went limp. He felt his own life draining. With his ribs now crushed, he was sure that his final breath was near. He found the strength to pray, accepting that it would not be long before his mother welcomed him into heaven, where he would once again hold his precious baby girl. He gave in to weakness and fell over, just feet from his dead brother. Blood, mud, and grass caked James’s face like camouflage, leaving only his crystal blue eyes visible beneath. As he lay there fading away, the battle sieged on around him, guns blazing, and cannons erupting. Unblinking, James laid there unable to bring himself to move. His stare was as empty as the emotional volcano that had just erupted and cleansed his soul. Four years of war, four years of mourning, four years without his love, and the triumph of revenge had now completely drained him. James knew of only one person who had the power to heal him and reignite his strength. But that beautiful woman was lost somewhere, too far away to comfort him and refuel his desire to breathe. Without the love of his life, he gave up and closed his crystal-blue eyes. With Lily’s inspiring music playing in his head, James Adams faded away into the light.
Seconds later, James opened his eyes and all was calm. Guns and cannons were no longer erupting around him. The fields were barren. Mangled dead bodies and flaming tents had disappeared. The mud and blood that caked the grass was no more. James, too, was completely clean. His strength had returned. His bruises and scars no longer existed. Even the excruciating pain in his leg had ceased. James slowly stood up and tilted his head back. There was nary a cloud in the sky. He closed his eyes and inhaled the fresh air around him, as he bathed in the warmth of the sunlight. He suddenly opened his eyes and turned toward the beautiful sound of a familiar laugh, a laugh that he was only ever graced by in his dreams. In the distance, he spotted the source of the jubilant sound, flying high on a treehouse swing. Her white summer dress and long brown curly locks were flowing behind her, as she soared back and forth into the sky.
With a racing heart, James cautiously began walking toward the angelic sight. As he got closer, the child’s giggling began to subside, and the swing suddenly slowed. When the swing stopped altogether, James did too. With tears stirring in his eyes, he just stood there and watched as the child got out of the swing. Fearing that she would run away if he took another step, he remained frozen, unable to take his eyes off the little person he was gazing at. He saw the child suddenly glance up, as if someone was speaking to her. She then turned to look over her shoulder, as if she had been prompted to do so. It was at that moment that James realized his fears were unwarranted. The precious little girl, who had spent every minute of her life cradled in his arms, suddenly started running toward him. With her arms outstretched, she ran as fast as she could, yelling a word that James had longed to hear. “Daddyyy!” Rose erupted repeatedly. She had the grandest smile on her face as she leapt into her father’s arms.
James erupted in tears the very second his daughter locked her little arms around his neck. After years of war, James was now an extremely hardened man, but the simple embrace of a child, his child, literally brought him to his knees. He held Rose as tight as he could without breaking her. He closed his eyes and gently rubbed her back as she lay with her head on his shoulder. Such a simple pleasure tapped deep into James’s well of emotions; Rose’s hair was saturated with his tears within a matter of seconds.
After praying for years for the chance to hold Rose, James was reluctant to let her go. But he had been equally eager to finally see the beautiful little face that his and Lily’s love had created. Slowly, he released Rose from his embrace and set her feet on the ground. He remained kneeling and just gazed at her in awe. She now looked to be four years old. He studied her features carefully and was astounded to see his own eyes staring right back at him. But he felt as though hers sparkled with so much more innocence. Her golden skin and the texture of her hair were the perfect blend of his and Lily’s. But in all other ways, James realized she was a tiny replica of her mother, just the way he had prayed she would be. That fact brought fresh tears to his eyes as he caressed Rose’s soft cheek.
Rose reached out and played with a tendril of her father’s hair, finally breaking his fixation on her face. “You have long hair like mine, daddy,” she commented, her sparkling eyes lighting up as she smiled.
“I know, but yours is much prettier,” James smiled as another tear ran down his face.
“Don’t cwy daddy,” Rose replied, speaking with a slight impediment, just like James had as a child. “It’s gonna be okay,” she smiled, wiping a tear off his cheek. He should have been comforting her, but she bravely took on that role, just the way James had with his mother when he was her age.
“I can’t help it, sweetpea. I’ve missed you so much. I’ve been worried about you for a long time.”
“You don’t have to worry, daddy. Gwampa takes good care of me.”
“Grandpa?” James asked, sounding a bit confused. He was certain that his father was in a far hotter place than where they stood.
“Yes, he said he’s mommy’s daddy,” Rose explained.
The revelation instantly warmed James’s heart. “Oh, I see. That grandpa, huh?” he smiled.
“Yup! I’m gwampa’s girl!” Rose boasted proudly. “That’s what he calls me!”
“He does?” James replied, his face still lit up in a grand smile.
Rose gave one big nod. “Mm-hmm!”
“I bet grandpa does all kinds ‘a fun things with you, doesn’t he?”
Rose nodded again. “Yup! And your mama does too!”
James’s chest instantaneously swelled with emotion again. “M-my motha’s here with you too?” he whispered, fresh tears glistening in his eyes.
“Yup! She said she’s the one who brought me here when I was a baby.”
The thought of his mother there by his side during the most tragic hour of his life instantly caused James’s waiting tears to spill down his cheeks. “She did?” he wh
ispered, his lip quivering with emotion.
“It’s okay daddy, don’t cwy,” Rose said, wiping her father’s tears again.
“I’m not sad, sweetpea. I’m just so happy grandma takes care of you.”
“Me too! I have so much fun with her and gwampa! Gwama always does my hair weally pwetty and makes me pwetty dwesses! When we go on walks togetha’, she tells me funny stowies about you and mama. She said you and mama would wun away pway with each otha’ all the time when you were little. She said you were tryna keep it a secwet, but gwama said she knew aaall alooong,” Rose laughed. “She said she has motherly intu- … intra- … umm, intermission?”
“Intuition?” James smiled.
“Yeah! That’s the word! She said that means mamas know everything!”
“They sure do!” James laughed, instantly infected by her enthusiasm.
“She said she even knew that you always loved mama.”
“She’s right. I loved your mama from the very first moment I saw her,” James smiled. “Grandma sure does know everything, doesn’t she?”
“Yup! You can’t hide anything from her!” Rose shook her head. “I don’t eeeven twy!”
“You’re a wise girl!” James replied, tickling her neck.
Rose began laughing uncontrollably, igniting James’s laughter as well.
“What otha’ fun things do you do with grandma and grandpa?” he asked when her laughter subsided. “Tell me everything!”
“Gwampa built me a biiig tweehouse! He said you always wanted to build one for me, so he did it for you, since you weren’t here. And now he pushes me on the tweehouse swing, hiiigh up in the sky!” she said, motioning with her hands. “And he takes me fishin’, and swimmin’, and weads me lots and lots of stowies!”
A blend of envy and pure joy caused another tear to trickle down James’s cheek. “Nothin’ but the best for grandpa’s girl, huh?”
Rose gave one big nod again. “Mm-hmm! I love it when gwampa weads to me…” She suddenly leaned over and whispered in her father’s ear. “But I love it even more when you wead me the stowy about the mermaid.” She pulled back and her innocent eyes lit up as she smiled. “It’s my favwit!”
“You can hear me readin’, sweetpea?” James smiled, his joyous tears still steadily trickling.
Rose began giggling. “Yes, I like it when you do all those silly voices! It’s so funny!”
“I’ll be sure to read that more often then.”
“And guess what else, daddy?!”
“What’s that?” James smiled.
“Gwama and gwampa are teachin’ me how to pway piano!”
“They are?!”
“Yup! And sometimes when gwama pways piano, gwampa dances weally silly with me,” she laughed. “He’s so funny!”
“I bet he is!” James smiled, tickling Rose’s neck to entice more of her sweet laughter.
“Gwampa said he taught himself to pway the piano, just like mama.”
“I know. One of your uncles told me.”
“Gwampa said he loves all of mama’s music!”
“Your grandpa can hear her?”
Rose nodded. “He said her music made him cwy … but not because he was sad.”
“I know how he feels. It makes me cry sometimes too.
“Auntie said it makes her cwy sometimes too.”
“Auntie’s here with you too?”
Rose nodded her little head again, as she reached out to play with another tendril of her father’s hair. “And Miss Anna Mae and Mista’ Benjamin too. They all said mama’s music is weally pwetty.”
“It truly is,” James replied, his emotions surging again as he thought of the people she mentioned.
“I wanna hear mama’s music too … but she neva’ pways anymore.”
“She doesn’t?”
Rose suddenly stopped playing in her father’s hair and sorrowfully shook her head. “She doesn’t wanna pway anymore without you,” she whispered, sadness having overtaken her tone. She then suddenly looked behind her as if something, or someone, had just called to her. James looked over her shoulder and saw nothing. After a few seconds, Rose turned back to her father. “I have to go now, daddy.”
James instantly felt a lump forming in his throat. “No, c’mon, not yet.” He pulled her into another embrace and gently laid her head back on his shoulder. “I’m not ready for you to leave.”
“But he said you can’t stay.”
“Who?”
Rose turned and looked over her shoulder again at something that James still could not see. “You have to go now, daddy,” she insisted when she turned to look at him again.
“I’m not ready to let you go yet.”
“I don’t want you to go either, but you can’t stay…” With tears sparkling in her innocent eyes, she looked directly into her father’s. “Mama needs you,” she whispered.
The statement instantly caused James’s tears to erupt again. “Well, will you promise me somethin’ before I go?” he asked, gently touching Rose’s cheek.
“Yes,” she nodded.
“Promise me you’ll always rememba’ how much I love you?”
“I promise,” she replied, throwing her arms around her father’s neck and hugging him with all of her strength. “I love you too, daddy,” she whispered.
“I love you too, sweetpea,” James whispered back, letting a kiss linger on her forehead as his tears fell in streams. “More than I have the time to express.”
“I know, daddy … I hear you tell me all the time.”
James suddenly felt his strength fading. Despite how he tried, he suddenly had no ability to hold his daughter any longer.
“Bye daddy,” Rose whispered, kissing him softly on the cheek. She then easily stepped out of his embrace.
James could not bring himself to say the same. He found the pain of saying goodbye far more excruciating than the massive hole that his brother had put in his leg. But even if he wanted to reciprocate the words, he suddenly found that he was unable to speak anyway. As desperately as he wanted to pull Rose back, he could no longer move either. Frozen on his knees, he could do nothing but watch her walk away through the blur of tears in his eyes. After walking several steps, Rose reached her hand up, and placed it into the hand of someone that James still could not see. She then turned around one last time and waved at her father. When she turned away from him again, she placed her other hand into the hand of another. In the protective hands of two beings that James could not see, little Rose turned again and walked away for good.
As Rose faded away from James’s sight, searing pain instantly returned to his leg. He slowly emerged from unconsciousness, surrounded by a sea of dead bodies. After hours of lying there, his throat was parched, every inch of his face was throbbing, his chest felt like it had caved in, and his stomach was cramped in knots. The force of gravity felt like a house upon his body, making any movement feel like an impossibility. He had only the strength to open his heavy eyelids and stare up into a sky thick with dark clouds. As soon as his eyes adjusted, the curtain of clouds slowly pulled back and exposed the sun. The beaming rays felt like a much-needed warm hug. James basked in its warmth, as he watched dozens of buzzards circling hundreds of elite and iron men. Despite the sneak attack, iron men prevailed. It was overwhelmingly the carcasses of so-called elite men that the buzzards happily feasted on.
Like the buzzards picking apart the flesh of elite carcasses, James could taste death on his tongue. In fact, he was convinced that he had died. The place he had just returned from felt too real to be just a dream. His neck still tingled where Rose’s soft hands had hugged him. His cheek was still warm where she had kissed him. He could still smell the sweet scent of her hair overpowering the stench of death. He was convinced that he had indeed been allowed to hold a true angel, one that was being cared for with extreme love, in the sort of utopian paradise he had always prayed he could raise her. He now believed that that prayer had been answered in the most heavenly way. James
’s eyes suddenly misted over with tears. “Thank you, God,” he whispered, for the unexplainable celestial experience that had just instantly halted his mourning and gave him instant inner peace.
James’s peace was reinforced when his weakened body caused his head to suddenly fall to the right. Directly in his line of sight was a flower. Amongst a sea of decaying bodies, it stood tall and unscathed, as if every soldier had taken great care not to trample it. Right before James’s eyes, the sun began to tickle its petals open. As it slowly blossomed, James’s tears suddenly began to pour in streams, when he realized that the flower was indeed a single rose.
Mama needs you. Despite gravity feeling like a house on James’s body, the angelic voice echoing that phrase in his mind gave him extraordinary willpower. He used it to extract the rose from the ground and lay it upon his chest. The simple task left him extremely winded. His battered chest seemed to barely be able to push air through his windpipe. Despite the lack of oxygen, he used the last bit of strength in his dying body to raise his hand in the air to signal for help. The feat felt as strenuous as lifting a wagon off his body. Mama needs you, was repeating in his mind, fueling his strength to hold his shaking hand in the air. With that motivational phrase replaying, James was content to die before he allowed his arm to fall.
In the eyes of iron soldiers scouring a sea of dead bodies, the sight of a solitary hand in the air stood out like a glorious ray of sunlight peeking through the clouds after a catastrophic storm. Within seconds, a longtime loyal friend was by James’s side, scooping him up. After desperately searching for James and miraculously finding him clinging to life, Harrison had tears in his eyes, as he trotted away with his dear friend toward what was left of the medic tent. James lie limp in Harrison’s arms, holding the rose on his chest, and the words of a little angel in his heart … words that renewed his faith in the fact that Lily still needed him, as much as he needed her.
