by Noelle Adams
So she cried right there on the hospital floor.
At least there was no one around to see it.
Nine
IT WAS SEVERAL MINUTES later—maybe longer since she wasn’t keeping track of time—when Ruth heard someone come into the room.
She assumed it was the nurse finally bringing her the Tylenol. Or maybe the doctor coming to ask whether she’d found someone to take her home. She didn’t lift her head from her knees because her eyes were red and puffy, her nose was running, and her face was blotchy from tears.
She didn’t normally break down like that, and she wasn’t too keen on anyone else seeing it.
Instead of saying something to get her attention, the person walked over to where she was still sitting on the floor. Then he slid down to sit beside her.
She felt him there. Heard the rustle of his clothing. Sensed him watching her.
Then she smelled Carter. She knew the scent of him. Expensive soap and laundry detergent and something warm and natural underlying it.
She gasped and raised her head to look.
It was him. Sitting beside her with his back to the wall. His eyes were on her face. Sober and searching. He didn’t say anything.
“What—?” She choked out the word, so she had to stop and clear her throat. “What are you doing here?”
“Kayla called me,” he murmured. There was no judgment in his tone, despite the fact that he’d had to hear about the accident from Ruth’s stepsister.
“She shouldn’t have done that.” She wiped at her face, hoping she didn’t look too pitiful.
“She was worried about you.”
Ruth tried to say something light and sensible, but all she could see was Carter. He had such warm hands. Such strong shoulders. Such worried eyes.
Such a kind heart.
Her face scrunched up, and her body began to shake.
“Oh, baby,” he said hoarsely. He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her against him so she could cry into his chest.
The second wave of crying only lasted a couple of minutes. Eventually she raised her head and tried to pull away. He didn’t let her. Kept his arm around her shoulders so she stayed close to him. They were both still sitting on the floor, which was kind of ridiculous.
“So what happened?” Carter asked softly.
“It was just a stupid car accident. I’m not even very hurt. It was nothing.”
“You don’t look like it was nothing.”
“I just got upset for some reason. A random breakdown. I’m really not that hurt.”
“What happened here?” He indicated the brace on her wrist.
“It’s just sprained. Nothing serious. I just need to wear this thing for a couple of weeks.”
“And you have a concussion, Kayla said?”
“Yeah. Not a bad one. A little bump on my head. The doctor wants to be careful, but he doesn’t seem worried about it. You really didn’t have to come.”
He was silent for a minute. It was a speaking silence. The tension of it vibrated in the air between them.
He wanted to give her a well-deserved lecture about not calling him right away. Ruth could sense it coming. Right on the tip of his tongue.
But he held it in. He adjusted his arm so he could stroke her hair back gently.
“But since you’re here,” she finally said, “maybe you could take me home and pick up Kayla so she can stay with me.”
“I’ll do that if you really want me to. I’d rather take you home with me.”
“You don’t need to do that.”
“I know I don’t need to. I said that’s what I want.”
“But Kayla can just—”
“When Kayla called me, she said I have to respect your wishes, so if you don’t want to come home with me, then I couldn’t insist on it. And she’s right of course. If you insist, I’ll take you and Kayla to your apartment. But why is coming home with me so bad?” The last question was asked with barely restrained wistfulness that went straight to Ruth’s heart.
“It’s not bad. It’s not that. It’s just...” She trailed off because it hit her anew how irrational she was being. There was absolutely no good reason to not go with Carter where she could be taken care of. Doing so would prevent her family from going through a lot of hassle to help her. The truth was she was afraid of it, but that wasn’t a good enough reason to keep saying no. “Okay. I’ll go with you.”
“I’m not trying to bully you into it if you really don’t want to be with me.”
Again, the slightly bewildered ache in his tone made her chest hurt. “That’s not it. I just don’t like being a burden on people. I’m used to taking care of myself.”
“You should know perfectly well you’re not a burden.” He sounded relieved. Like her words had eased some of his confusion. “Now if you think you can manage, maybe we can get off this gross floor.”
She burst into helpless giggles. And if they were dangerously close to tears, Carter didn’t mention it. He helped her up and got her back in a sitting position on the side of the bed. He gave her a couple of tissues so she could clean up her face, and then he went to look for a nurse so she could finally get her Tylenol.
It was better with him there.
So much better.
Maybe she shouldn’t let herself rely on him so much. Maybe she should have stuck with her convictions and insisted he take her home.
But the truth was she didn’t want to go home. She wanted to be with him.
IT WAS ALMOST TWO HOURS before Carter was finally turning in to the driveway of his house and parking right in front of the door.
Ruth’s headache had gotten a little better, and she wasn’t so upset about everything, but on the short drive there, she’d gotten so tired she was almost asleep.
Maybe she was asleep. She was only barely aware of Carter parking the car, unhooking his seat belt, and getting out. Her head lolled to one side as she told herself to get moving. She didn’t want to sit in this car forever.
The passenger door opened, surprising her. She blinked blurrily upward in an attempt to figure out what was happening.
“Come on, baby. We’re home.” Carter leaned into the SUV, hit the latch for her seat belt, and pulled it away from her body.
She tried to get out. She thought she was doing it. But before she knew what was happening, Carter had swung her up into his arms.
With a little sound of surprise, she grabbed for his neck. She was small, and he held her weight easily, but it was so strange to be off the ground like that. “I’m okay. I can walk.” She sounded weirdly groggy.
“I think we’ll make better progress this way,” Carter replied dryly. He carried her into the house, cradled in his arms.
Mrs. Wilson was waiting at the front door as they came in. “Oh dear. Oh dear. This is terrible. Is she really hurt?”
“It’s not serious. A sprained wrist and a concussion.” Carter turned his body sideways so he could get in the front door without knocking Ruth’s head or feet against the frame.
Evidently finding it perfectly natural that Ruth should be carried inside with such minor injuries, Mrs. Wilson fidgeted beside them for a minute, explaining that Ruth should be taken right to her bed and that she would find the best calming music and essential oils to help with a concussion. Assuring Ruth, or maybe herself, that she’d be better in no time, Mrs. Wilson left to collect her healing remedies.
“I hope you don’t mind,” Carter murmured, leaning his head down so it was only inches from Ruth’s. “She really wants to help. I’m afraid you’re going to get music and smelly stuff whether you want it or not.”
“It’s fine. I don’t mind. She’s so sweet. I love her.” Ruth didn’t mean to say that, but she wasn’t all that good about holding her tongue in the best of circumstances. She wasn’t capable of it at all right now.
Carter felt tense for a moment. Then he cleared his throat and said in a gravelly voice, “Well, she loves you too.”
That ma
de Ruth happy. She smiled and dropped her head against Carter’s shoulder. She liked the way he was holding her. She liked how strong he felt. The way he could so easily support her weight. She tried to enjoy it, but she accidently drifted off, coming back to awareness only when he had laid her on the bed and was taking off her shoes.
“I’m gonna rest here for a little while,” she told him, trying to pull the covers up over her but unable to do so because she was lying on them.
Carter adjusted the bedding so he could cover her up. “I think that’s a good idea. I’m going to call the doctor. I’m a little worried that you’re so out of it.”
“I’m not out of it. Just need a rest.” She couldn’t seem to open her eyes. “Then I need to call about my car.”
“I’ll take care of your car. You don’t need to worry about that.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really, baby. You rest.”
She had no idea what happened after that.
THE NEXT THING SHE was aware of was Carter’s gentle voice. It wasn’t loud, and she’d always liked the sound of it, but it was breaking into her sleep.
“Mm resting,” she mumbled, trying to turn over to get away from the hands on her shoulders.
“I know. I’m sorry. But I need to check to make sure you can wake up all right. So can you please wake up and talk to me for a few minutes?”
It was the naked concern in his voice that pierced through the fog in her mind. She stopped resisting and blinked until she could see his familiar face above her. “Hi,” she said stupidly.
He gave her a rather wobbly smile. “Hi.”
“You woke me up.”
“I know I did. But when I talked to the doctor, he said I should wake you up every hour or so to make sure you were coherent.”
“That seems kind of mean.”
He gave a huff of amusement and pushed some of her hair back from her face. “It’s not supposed to be mean. You have a concussion. It’s to make sure there isn’t any damage.”
“Oh. I don’t think there is.” She stretched and moved her body around to assess how she felt. “I think I’m okay. I feel better now. Not so out of it. I’m not sure what happened.”
“You have a concussion.”
“So you keep saying.” Even her headache was almost gone now. She felt like herself again. She turned to look at Carter, who was reclining on top of the covers beside her. He was wearing the tan pants he’d had on all day with a gray T-shirt which he must have recently put on. She couldn’t remember what he’d been wearing earlier, but she was sure it had long sleeves. He currently had socks but no shoes on. “Have you been lying here with me the whole time?”
“Yes. Of course I have. I needed to make sure you were all right.”
“I’m okay.”
“That’s good. Everyone will be relieved.” Carter looked relieved too. His face had relaxed. The corners of his mouth were turned up slightly in her favorite little smile.
“Everyone?”
“Yes, everyone. Mom keeps popping her head in here every fifteen minutes. Summer has called once and texted twice to make sure I tell her and Lincoln how you’re doing. Kayla’s checked in twice. And even Savannah called. She heard you were in a car accident and was worried about you.”
“Oh.” Ruth’s heart swelled at hearing the list of people who were concerned about her. “Well, you can tell them all I’m okay. They don’t need to worry about me.”
“Okay. I will.” Carter picked up his phone and started sending messages.
She watched him with lazy interest. She was feeling good now. Nothing was really hurting. Not even her wrist. And her mind was blessedly clear. She would need to go to the bathroom in a little while, but it wasn’t uncomfortable yet, and she didn’t want to move.
When Carter finished sending his updates, she said, “It smells good in here. Like Christmas.”
“That’s Mom’s essential oils. Cinnamon. Cloves. Orange. And something else I can’t remember. She said they were good for clarity of the mind.”
Ruth giggled.
Carter slouched farther down and turned his head to face her. His eyes were resting on her face with a warm fondness that was downright intoxicating. “You do seem better.”
“I’m really okay. I’m not sure why I fell apart like that.”
“It’s okay to fall apart.”
“I don’t usually do it.”
“I know you don’t.”
“Thank you for your help. I really do appreciate it.”
His expression sobered. “Can you tell me why you didn’t call me and didn’t want me to help?”
Ruth swallowed hard and tried to think of a good answer.
“Even if you were mad at me or uncomfortable about how things were between us—”
“I wasn’t mad at you!”
“Maybe not. But there was definitely some weirdness between us. So even if you were uncomfortable about that, surely you knew you could still trust me to help you.”
She was too tired to get very emotional again, although her voice broke slightly as she responded, “I know that. I know I can always trust you to help.”
“Then why not call me? You were all by yourself in the hospital. You didn’t have anyone to help you. Even if I’m not your first choice, at least I’m someone. Someone who will always want to help, no matter what else happens between us.”
She closed her eyes against the naked earnestness of his eyes, his voice. It was almost too much to handle. “I know you are. And I know I didn’t have anyone with me. It was... That’s part of why I ended up totally losing it the way I did.”
“So why not let me?”
The only way to truly explain her thinking would be to reveal everything to him. That she didn’t want a little bit of help from him. She wanted everything.
She might be far gone, but she wasn’t ready to expose herself completely.
“It’s hard to explain,” she began. “I think it’s just because I’ve spent most of my life taking care of myself. So it’s... it’s hard to rely on other people. It’s different with family. They have to help you. But you... you’re not family. And... I don’t know. It makes me feel... I’m not used to people going out of their way for me. I’m sorry if I hurt you. I really am. It’s the last thing I wanted to do. I’m just not... I’m not good at letting other people take care of me.”
He nodded and reached down to squeeze her hand. “Okay. I can understand that.”
“I’m really not used to being a mess like this. I usually have things together, so this is pretty embarrassing.”
He gave another of those huffs of laughter. “I know how that feels.”
“You do not. You always have it together.”
“Are you kidding me? I’ve fallen apart way worse than you’d ever dream of doing.”
“You have?” She turned onto her side so she could see him better. “When? When you were a kid or something?”
“No. Not when I was a kid. This year. When everything happened with Summer and Lincoln.” He was still holding her hand, but his eyes were focused up on the ceiling now. “I was a total wreck.”
“What did you do?”
“I went on a major binge. Drinking and gambling and running away from everything. I wasted so much money. I almost threw away everything that was important to me, including my family’s company. Because I was weak and sad and stupid. No matter what you do, you’ll never get to rock bottom the way I did.”
Ruth was frowning. She didn’t like the resigned tone of his voice. She reached over to stroke his stubbly jaw. “Well, you had a broken heart. It’s understandable.”
“I didn’t though. Not really. Oh, I thought I did, but I was just... running away. I always do that. If I can’t take the road I think I need to take, I just bail. I take the easy way out. I don’t fight for what I really want.” He leaned his head into her hand. “You have nothing to be embarrassed about, Ruth. You’re the bravest person I’ve ever known. And I kno
w it hasn’t always worked out the way you hoped, but you still fight for what you want and you never try to hide or run away. The world would be a lot better if more people were like you.”
Her face twisted since the words made her feel better than almost anything else in her life ever had. She snuggled up closer to him. He wrapped his arm around her, and she fell asleep against his side.
SHE SLEPT FOR THE NEXT few hours, being awakened every sixty minutes (exactly) by Carter. The last time he woke her up, she realized she was starving, so she asked if there was any possibility of getting some food.
A chuckling Carter went to bring her a tray of food—a delicious and varied assortment thrust upon him by his mother, who was apparently convinced Ruth needed to eat four times her normal amount. Carter stayed in his spot on the bed beside her and helped her finish her soup, sandwich, salad, and fried goat cheese nuggets. They watched TV, which meant she could really relax and not worry about what might accidently spill out were they to talk more.
Afterward, while Carter was taking the tray downstairs, Ruth called Kayla, who was thrilled to hear from her, and she texted Summer and Savannah. Then she decided she needed to shower and change into a cute red Christmas nightgown that Kayla had bought for her last year.
When she came back out into the bedroom, Carter and his mother were changing the bedding on the bed.
“You didn’t have to do that!” Ruth exclaimed, strangely touched by the sight. The Wilsons had domestic staff who came in daily, but they’d already gone home.
“We got some crumbs,” Carter said, shaking out the thick comforter before he and his mother pulled it up over the clean sheets.
“I don’t care about crumbs.”
“You can’t sleep on crumbs, dear,” Mrs. Wilson told her in a chiding voice. “Not after your ordeal. The itches would trouble you all night long.”
Ruth smiled and thanked them when they’d finished. The bed did indeed look crisp and clean and very inviting as she crawled back under the covers.
Mrs. Wilson leaned over and kissed her forehead, like a mother would a child at bedtime. “Now you sleep well, Ruth. I put some new oils in the diffuser. Lavender and lemon. It should be very soothing.”
