by Leesa Bow
“Reef!” She sounds exasperated. “Let me process some things alone. P-please.”
The way her voice cracks on the last word gets my attention, so I stand and do what she asks. “Fine. But please, don’t push me away. You don’t need to go through this by yourself.”
She shakes her head. “I don’t expect you to understand,” she whispers.
“I want to try.” I lean down and kiss the top of her head before walking toward the plane and taking my seat at the front. I let out a breath with every person who boards and is not Macy. She’s one of the last and walks past me so quickly I don’t have a chance to say anything. How the fuck do I remain calm while she’s sitting a few rows back with a broken heart?
When the nose of the plane levels and the seatbelt light goes out, I make my way to the restroom searching the rows as I go. She’s sitting toward the back, eyes closed with her head against the wall near the window. I pause by her row, and when she doesn’t stir, I assume she’s asleep. I wait a few seconds more. The woman in the aisle seat shoots me a dark look, so I keep moving not wanting to look like a freak.
It’s not until we land that I have another opportunity to check on her. Macy must have sensed I’d be waiting for her as she’s the last person to walk through the gate.
She keeps walking. Fast. Only my legs are longer than hers, and I can match her pace.
“I was hoping you’d be gone already.”
“Not without checking on you first.”
“I’m fine, Reef,” she says, exasperated. “I’m not sure why you care now. You didn’t care how I was a month ago, and it was then I needed you the most.”
“Macy—”
“Don’t Macy me. I got through it. I’ll get through this. Please, leave me alone.”
I slow up, allow her to walk at a brisk pace ahead of me. The sword to my gut twists to the point I want to puke. The slower I walk, the more extensive the gap between us, and it’s like I’m allowing her to slip away.
For the first time, it dawns on me, I might have already lost her, and everything I’m trying to achieve is sending her further away.
Maybe it is a timing thing.
Maybe I fucked up so bad there’s no winning her back.
No matter the circumstance, I’m not giving up, yet.
Late on Wednesday night, Marcus, Hunter, and I stroll back to my parked car after a team function in the city. I didn’t drink, so I told the guys I’d give them a ride home. We turn a corner, and it’s the same street as Lombardi’s, only it’s late and closed like other restaurants in the area. Even being on the street where she works makes my gut tighten with dread.
There’s a crowd growing ahead, and shouts alert us to a brawl. It’s a sign for us to cross the road and avoid anything causing us to gain potential negative media attention. Innocent or not, being caught up in a street fight is definitely something we should avoid. Except I have an instinct to check it out.
As we get closer, the shouts are threats from three guys, stumbling and aggressively throwing air punches, and everyone is getting out of their way, except a homeless man who is caught in the crossfire.
He’s trapped like an animal. Dirt-covered arms cross his face and head as he cowers toward the building. One look and I suspect drugs are the cause since these guys seem to have zero comprehension of what they’re doing even with a group of teenagers trying to protect the homeless guy. But they’re no match for the bigger built men and are clearly off their faces. I’m about to step in when one of the wiry teenagers is knocked to the ground, hits his head on the pavement, and remains there.
“Christ!” I sprint over to protect him from the dickheads tripping and falling on his lifeless body as they box and swing at imaginary figures. I check he’s breathing and has a pulse then pull out my phone and call 000.
“The police and ambulance are on their way,” I tell Marcus. “Stay with him.”
Marcus checks his pulse again and nods when I step between the idiots and the homeless man.
“Back off,” I shout every time they make a blow with a fist toward us. I push them back, and one stumbles. I hold my breath hoping he doesn’t fall in his intoxicated state.
Hunter comes from behind and wrestles one of the guys to the ground, pushes his knee into his back, and holds a palm on the back of his head to keep him there. Marcus takes on the other guy until he’s on his stomach with his cheek to the pavement. Two of the boys take over from Hunter so he can wrestle the third guy to the ground. I stand and twist the final offender’s arm behind his back until he surrenders to Hunter. The smallest lad squats beside his friend crying loudly.
“Make sure he’s breathing,” I yell out. “Help will be here soon.” I head back to the homeless man and place a hand on his back. “Are you okay, mate?”
He’s rocking in a seated position moaning over and over.
“It’s okay. Help will be here soon. Those guys won’t hurt you anymore.”
“Don’t try it, mate,” I hear Hunter yell and shove the bloke’s face to the pavement. “You’re not going anywhere.”
Finally, sirens.
“Can I help you somehow?” I ask the homeless guy. “Do you have a name?”
He shakes his head, still moaning.
I pat his back gently trying to reassure him. “You’re going to be okay.”
The first ambulance arrives, and they call for another so they can attend to the lad lying unconscious. The victim’s friends give an account of what happened, and one rides with him to the hospital. Two police vehicles arrive minutes later and interview us after the offenders are taken away. We all give our details, and I walk over to the officer with the homeless man.
A few minutes later, the second ambulance drives up to the pavement. We give another detailed account of what happened, and I provide my details to the ambulance officer. “If he needs further medical treatment, I’m happy to pay it. Can you give my details to the hospital to follow up with me as I assume there’s no next of kin?”
“That’s to be ascertained,” the ambulance officer says. “But thank you. I’ll provide your details.”
“What a night,” I say as we walk another block to my car after it’s all over.
Late Friday afternoon, Hunter and I head into the city to watch Chance’s team play against the locals. Chance is named as a standby player, so he’s one step closer to playing his first game. We have good seats and can see Chance on the bench supporting the players as they’re subbed on and off. His team beat Adelaide by one goal in a bloody fine effort considering the crowd gave his team a verbal lashing.
After the game, we head down the stairs to the locker rooms to speak to him—we have special passes to get past security.
Standing by a wall, we wait for Chance, listening in on the media interviewing different players.
“Is that him?”
Prompted, I turn to an elderly guy ogling me. At first, I think he has me mistaken for someone else until the brown-eyed beauty beside him says, “Hello, Reef. Not exactly how I imagined you two meeting.”
The older man continues to scowl.
I straighten from the wall and clear my voice. “Macy. It’s good to see you.” I hold out my hand, and she shakes it tentatively. “Sir.” I hold out my hand to the man I assume is her father. “Reef Burton.”
He eyes me a moment longer before taking my hand with a surprisingly firm grip. “Peter Reynolds.”
“It’s good to finally meet you.” I nod at him, although he doesn’t respond. “Oh, I remember you’re a fan of the team. Macy told me you support soccer rather than AFL.”
“It’s all football,” he says.
“True. I grew up with Chance. We banter about it constantly.” For some reason, his expression softens. “Did you enjoy tonight’s game?”
“Certainly did. Even though Macy continually asked questions, distracting me.”
I laugh then smile at Macy. “I’m surprised you’re here.”
“I wanted to br
ing Dad. Chance has a signed guernsey for him. So, we came down to pick it up.”
Chance walks out and gives us a wink. “Where are my fans?” He laughs, looking over my shoulder, pretending there is a line. “You have one here.” I nudge to Macy’s father.
“Hey, Mr R. How you doin’? Enjoy the game?”
“My word.”
“Give me a minute.” Chance heads over to the team manager and returns with a bag. “This is for you.”
Peter nods. “I’ll wear it every time I watch on the television.”
“He will,” Macy says and rolls her eyes. “We must get going.” She links her arms through her father’s, and he limps to balance as she pivots.
“Will we see you out tonight?” Chance asks.
Macy turns and shakes her head.
Her father pivots awkwardly. “Yeah, she will. Give her a half-hour, but she’ll meet you. Girl has to have a bit of fun.”
“I can follow you home and pick you up,” Chance offers.
“So could I.” I shut my mouth when Macy’s eyes round.
“I’d appreciate a lift,” she says not to any of us in particular. “See you soon.”
When she’s out of sight, I turn to Chance and Hunter. “Do you want a lift to the club?”
“Yep. You know I don’t have a car. I was setting you up to get Macy,” Chance says and nudges me.
Hunter chuckles. “Hurry up, so I can have a beer.”
Sitting in my car out the front of Macy’s, I’ve lost all positivity and ponder the reasons why we can’t be together. It’s easy to dismiss the small things, but the most important reason why she can’t be with me is the very thing I have kept from her. It’s a sensitive issue, and one she doesn’t need to know if we are only having fun together. After all we’ve been through if we were to get back together, I expect it to be more serious, not for fun—a relationship where we don’t keep secrets. She deserves to know everything before we contemplate a relationship. No point hurting her all over again when she finds out the truth, and I expect her to run and not look back.
If she wants nothing from me other than a bit of fun, then I’m going to refuse because if anything, these last few weeks have taught me that with the way I feel for Macy, it’s all or nothing.
I have to get off this damn roller coaster and focus, with or without her.
Chapter Twenty-Four
REEF
Considering it’s after ten, I knock quietly on her front door.
The door opens. She smiles, then closes it behind her as she steps outside. “Dad’s in bed and already asleep. It was a big night for him. His girlfriend is here now, so…”
I point the remote at my car, and it beeps before I open the door for Macy. Before I start the car, I pause to look at her—dark hair flowing over her shoulders, brown eyes, innocent one minute and alluring the next, and a heart-shaped mouth, plump lips I’ve missed kissing. I allow my eyes to dip momentarily in acknowledgement. “You look stunning. And happier.”
“Thanks.” She wipes her hands over the figure-hugging black dress. “It’s new.”
“Not the dress, Mace. I mean, you look great. It’s your eyes and when you smile. You seem different than when I saw you at Adele’s.”
She dips her head. “Yeah, about that.”
I start the car because it sounds as though she wants to talk. There’s awkwardness in her voice, so it’s better to be staring at the road and not her.
“I owe you an apology.”
“No, you don’t. This mess is because of me, and I wanted to apologise in person, so I dragged out what I was trying to tell you and went about it in the wrong way.”
“You tried. I appreciated it. It was me. I was in a bad headspace, and yeah, it was partly because of you, but it made me realise the steps I needed to take to grow.”
I glance sideways, and my heart flips the way she’s sitting, pivoted toward me. Looks like we’re doing this now. Not another time over dinner like I had planned.
“If I could take it back, I would. I should have known those dickheads would pull a prank. You may have noticed I have trust issues.” I glance and give her a quick smile before turning my gaze back to the road while keeping her in my periphery vision.
She pushes strands of hair behind her ear. “They haven’t been back to Lombardi’s.”
“I banned them until they apologised, but I said they had to wait until I spoke to you. It took longer than I anticipated, so I’m sorry they haven’t apologised to you in person.”
She shrugs. “If it were earlier, I may have said something I’d regret.”
“Wish you did. They need pulling into line.”
Drunk-walkers step onto the road as they head from pubs to nightclubs. I lift my foot from the accelerator to the brake as we drive through the busiest part of the city. We continue in silence until I turn onto a quieter street.
“Keep your eyes open for a park.”
“So… trust issues,” she murmurs.
My knuckles stretch over the steering wheel.
“I may have looked you up on the internet. Extensively. Seen pictures of you and Felicity. When I searched her, I found pictures with my m-mum.” Her voice cracks on the last word. “I’ve never searched Mum before because I didn’t know her married name and didn’t want to find her.” Macy wipes her eyes and remains silent a while. I place a hand on her knee and leave it there. “It broke my heart to show Dad. But the trooper he is, he said he was happy that she was happy. At this point in time, he said he’s content and holds no bitterness, and even though she might have money, we are richer for we have each other.”
I squeeze her knee. “I really like your dad. He’s a wise man. You know she’s not happy unless she’s causing drama. I know she’s your mum, but she’s not a nice lady. You are nothing like her.”
Macy’s hand covers mine on her knee. “Thank you for saying that because I’ve spent my life trying not to be, and fearing I am exactly like her. It’s where my mental health stems from.”
“Gorgeous, you’re nothing like her.”
She nods, then wipes her eyes again. “There are times I think I am. But when I went to see her, I was so nervous. Then I went through all the emotions while we sat together like I was experiencing the grief of losing her and feeling fifteen all over again. Sadness. Anger. Disappointment. I was exhausted by the time I left. Still, I blamed you, and I’m sorry. It’s not an excuse, but I was confused and hurt and still hurting about us, and blaming you was easier. Easy because it felt like you were part of a tug-o-war. She wanted you for her stepdaughter, and I acted like I had some sort of claim on you. She didn’t ask about Dad or our life… only you.”
“She’s a self-absorbed woman.”
“Well, I’m guessing something happened between Felicity and you that explains your trust issues?”
“Yeah. But it’s in the past.” I pull into a park and kill the engine. Neither of us attempted to leave the car.
“Do you think about her?” she whispers.
“Only in anger. Like now because of the shit storm that’s gone down. I don’t like to think I hate people, but I dislike her immensely.”
“Even though you shared history together, you must have had some good times.”
“We did.” I open the door, not liking where the conversation is heading. “But then everything changed.”
We walk quietly together a safe distance between us, and I don’t reach for her hand. Making our way to the front of the queue, I nod to the bouncer, and he allows us to pass.
“Evening, Mr Burton.”
“Sergio. Hope you’re having a good night.” I hold the door for Macy, and we weave through the crowd in search of Hunter, Chance, and his teammates. I leave Macy with the guys while I snake back to the bar to grab us some drinks. Hands full, I bump into Brody and Davidson.
“Hey, man.” Brody slaps my back. “Good to see you.”
I nod to them both. “Heads up… I have Macy over in the corner standi
ng with Hunter and Chance. I’d appreciate you apologising to her tonight.”
“You two sorted it out?” Brody asks.
“Slowly.”
Both guys have apologised repeatedly to me. It’s Macy they need to speak to now.
After handing Macy a gin and tonic, I stand beside Chance since she’s deep in conversation with Hunter.
“When will we next catch up?” I ask Chance.
“I won’t be back here for a while. Dad and I have been talking about some new projects while Mum’s visiting Gran in the US.”
“I noticed he’d lost weight. We chatted a bit at the party.”
“He’s okay at present. Had a health scare he doesn’t want to talk about but emphasised he’s fine now.”
“I’ll get you all tickets to the first game we play in Melbourne.”
Chance pats my back. “Dad will appreciate it.” He glances down at my empty glass. “You want another?”
“Nah. I’m going to head home.”
He nudges in Macy’s direction. “How’s it going?”
“We have talked some. I need to have a good think before we take any further steps. I don’t want to mislead her.”
“She doesn’t know?”
I shake my head. “Not something I share with people. You know, and my family. That’s it.”
“You know treatments have improved, and there are other options—”
“I’m at the point of so be it. I’m not looking into anything unless I have to. And at present, I have plans and a whole lot of living to do before I worry about it.”
“Hey,” Brody says and lands a hand on my shoulder.
Davidson gives me a nod. “Do you mind if we have a quiet word with Macy?”
“You’ll have to ask Macy.” I step aside and allow them to pass. Macy’s jaw drops when they move toward her. I stay close, so she knows I’m here for her.
“Macy, do you have a minute?”
The music pumps over the speakers, and Brody yells for her to hear him. I can keep a safe distance as I’ll hear every word.
“We’re sorry it’s taken us a while to apologise. We never meant for it to go as far as it did.”
