“I liked dancing with you. You looked incredible in your suit, by the way. And the way you kept looking at me as you swiveled your hips toward me? Yeah. No wonder I was hard as a rock. It’s given me plenty of daydreams over the last few days,” Travis said as he felt himself start to respond to the memory of it and squirmed in his seat.
Jersey’s hair shaded half his face but Travis could easily see the look aimed at him then. Jersey knew exactly the look he’d used and how it was affecting Travis again.
“I like that you respond to me so well. Your body’s little tells give you away, even if you aren’t saying a thing. You may be still be caught up in your head about the who’s, why’s, and what’s of it all, but your body is on board with this.”
“Jesus. You just say whatever comes to mind, huh? I’ve never responded to anyone the way I respond to you. I’m not purposely trying to hide my reactions, they’re just new to me, and it’s taking me a minute to process, that’s all. I’m sorry if it seems like I’m caught up in my head. I’ve never really had anyone to talk to about what I’m feeling or anyone who’s been interested in knowing more than that I’m nice to look at. I like you too, Jersey, or should I call you Michael?” he teased, feeling a little bolder. “And if you’re really interested in seeing if there’s more between us than just being caught up by my looks,” he tried to keep his tone friendly, but hopefully the man caught his insinuation, “I’m on board with that.”
“But, as you know, there’s always a caveat. There is still a chance, however small, that I might carry the Connective gene, and although I may never find my Complement, or may not even have one if they are out there, my heart belongs to them. It was made for that one person. And I’m not saying that I don’t think we have a chance at something or that I’m not willing to date, but just know that that’s all it can be, okay? I may respond to you and your sexy little dance moves, and I’d really like to get to know you better, but I also may not be marriage material.”
Jersey looked at him thoughtfully for a moment before he responded. “I can accept that. After seeing what Josh and Cory have, and now Brain and Monica, and of course, you being raised by a Connective couple, I know if there’s a chance for you to find that, you should do anything in your power to get it. I understand where you’re coming from completely and like you said, in the meantime, I’d like to get to know you better as well.”
Travis smiled. His cheeks stretched wide as he looked at the other guy. He got up quickly and came around to Jersey, encouraging the man to stand. He wrapped Jersey up in a warm embrace and felt himself calm down and settle. All the inner turmoil he’d been feeling and all the unanswered questions about what they were doing, and what he’d been feeling, seemed to finally melt away as a huge weight rolled off his shoulders. The conversation had been exactly what he’d needed. So many things he’d not even realized himself clicked into place, and he felt a new fondness for the boy in his arms. Jersey had been patient with him, and understanding, but also challenged him to put into words all that he’d been keeping bottled up. They may not be a Connective couple, but Travis was finally glad to have someone who knew exactly where he stood, and what to expect from him, and even though they were still getting to know each other and might not even use the term boyfriends yet, Travis could see himself enjoying Jersey quite a bit. If they did end up becoming more, Jersey proved understanding and encouraging; he seemed like he would be a pretty great boyfriend for sure.
“Thank you. So much. You probably have no idea what that conversation just meant to me, but it was exactly what I needed. I’m really glad you invited me out today, Jersey.” He squeezed Jersey once more and let him go.
Jersey smiled at him. “Glad I could help. If you’re up for it, how about I buy you that lunch we agreed to. This place has the best street tacos, and we can sit back out here again if you’d like? The weather’s nice and we can hang out for a while. I don’t have anywhere to be today.”
“Sounds perfect.” And even though they hadn’t labeled anything, or really agreed if they were dating, Travis grabbed Jersey’s hand and smiled when the other man looked at him in surprise. Jersey smiled back and confidently returned his gesture as they opened the door and entered the restaurant to order lunch.
~
When they were situated back outside, at a table closer to the fountain, they each seemed content with the silence as they ate. They’d both ordered three tacos, but Jersey got chicken, while Travis got fish. They’d decided to split an order of chips and guacamole and had been quietly working their way through their meal.
Travis wiped his hands on a napkin and gathered his trash to put in the bag. “Thank you for lunch. It was nice of you to offer to pay, but I don’t want you to think you have to.”
“I invited you out to lunch, Travis. It wasn’t a trip to Spain. I know you can pay for your own meal, but I wanted to treat you. When was the last time someone treated you to something nice?” When Travis didn’t answer, Jersey nodded. “Exactly. You seem to do things for everyone else, and I can afford to do something for you. You’re welcome, by the way. It was my pleasure.”
Travis nodded with a smile. “Do you have a job?”
“No. I’ve never worked for a paycheck before. I do volunteer though,” Jersey offered. “When my parents divorced, my dad was working this high paying Wall Street job in the city, so we were never hurting for money, you know? He made a really good living, and when they divorced, he had to pay my mom quite a bit of money since he was getting the house and she was leaving. My mom was smart with that money and invested it, plus my dad needed to pay child support. When we moved into my grandparents’ house back here, my mom invested our child support money as well. My sister was sixteen then, so my dad only had to pay for two years of child support for her, but he had to pay for four for me. My mom’s family had money, and we when we moved in with my grandparents, we basically got a wing in their house to ourselves. Mom would have probably been fine without my dad’s money, but since she didn’t work and stayed home with us, the courts awarded her alimony as well. Now,” he shrugged, “none of us would probably ever really need to work. Since my mom is managing our money, she set up trust funds for my sister and me, and each of us got a third of the proceeds from the sale of their old house in New Jersey.”
Travis blinked. “Wow.”
“Yeah. We don’t really advertise that we’re well off, but we’re definitely not hurting. Both my sister and I went to the prep school, and like I said, she’s not doing much with her life right now. She made decent grades but took the divorce badly, and after we transferred schools, she never tried again. Just did what she needed to do to graduate.” Jersey took a sip of his soda and gathered his trash as well. “I made pretty good grades and got into OSU for business administration. I figured it’d be a decent idea to have some sort of degree, so if I do choose to work or go into some sort of business thing, I’ll know what I’m doing. Though, I think I see myself more as an entrepreneur than a do-what-you’re-told kind of person. But either way, business seemed fairly safe.”
“I can totally see that about you. You don’t seem like the type to sit around and do what you’re told,” Travis mused.
Jersey laughed and shook his head.
“What could you see yourself doing, business-wise?” Travis asked. “If you were to open your own business, I mean?”
Jersey shrugged. “Maybe just to start I’d like to be an investor or silent partner. Get my feet wet and learn the ropes of running something to see what that entails, but eventually, I’m not really sure. I know I’m literally one myself, but maybe something to help LGBT kids, though I have no idea what that would be. I think it would be cool to invest in a shelter or some after-school programs or something like that. Maybe even open some kind of center for LGBT kids and find funding to provide college prep courses or something. I know that’s not a typical business, like opening a restaurant or coffee shop, but...” He shrugged and looked away, not finishin
g his statement.
“What? What is it?” Travis asked growing concerned by the man’s reaction and the way he wouldn’t meet Travis’s eyes. “I think it sounds amazing. I’m actually kind of speechless at the thoughtful and passionate desire in your voice. You sound like you’ve really put some thought into it.”
Jersey didn’t reply right away but rubbed his fingernail into a groove on the table that was caked with dirt. Travis didn’t want to push, but it seemed like the other boy was struggling with something or trying to find the right words. Finally, he stopped what he was doing and looked over at Travis and he found himself troubled to see such vulnerability in Jersey’s eyes.
“Come here,” Travis said and pulled over another chair. Jersey moved to sit right next to him, their thighs touching, and Travis wrapped his arm around Jersey’s smaller frame, drawing him into his side. Jersey came willingly and seemed comforted by their proximity. When he spoke again, it was almost a whisper.
“When I was thirteen, I liked this boy at my school named Chris. I already knew I liked boys and we had a lot of classes together. One day, I caught him looking longer at another boy when we were changing in the locker room after PE. The next day, I made sure to catch his eye and give him a once over. Of course he was nervous and looked around anxiously, worried that someone had seen, but when he looked back at me, he returned the look and I knew he’d be on board with whatever. Anyway. He was my first anything. My first kiss, my first experience with another body. We’d explore each other’s bodies whenever we could get time alone together. We never had sex because we were both aware of just how young and inexperienced we were. But we did plenty of other stuff.”
Jersey turned into Travis a little more and started fiddling with the buttons on his shirt. He took a deep breath, and with a fragile voice, spoke into Travis’s chest.
“We were messing around at my house one day when my parents were supposed to be out. We had some music on because we both liked to cover any noise we made, but of course, it backfired because we also couldn’t hear when my parents came home. Needless to say, we were caught in very compromising positions, and my dad lost it. He, quite literally, tossed us both out of the house in only what he allowed us to put back on. He tossed Chris’s backpack onto the lawn, but nothing of mine. I could hear my mom yelling at him to stop, then,” he shuddered, “all of a sudden, it was quiet. I’d learned later that he’d backhanded my mother to get her to stop yelling and she fell backward, knocking herself out when she hit the ground.” Travis instinctively tightened his hold around Jersey.
“Chris and I were so freaked, literally ready to piss ourselves. Of course, neither of us had told our parents that we liked boys, and Chris was in no shape to go home either, so we walked away. Just gathered his things and cried the whole walk into town. We climbed into the plastic tubes at the park, after the sun had gone down, and just held each other and cried. Neither of us had any money on us, so we didn’t eat that night. But by morning, Chris knew he was going to be in trouble for worrying his parents, so we walked to his house, and I hid nearby in a neighbor's yard. His parents were livid, but obviously relieved that he was okay.
“He managed to sneak me some clothes and food as we walked to school, but he’d been grounded, and I couldn’t go home with him after school. He wasn’t allowed to stay out, and I had nowhere to go. He apologized probably a thousand times, but in the end, I still couldn’t go with him. I walked back into town alone and at least had the presence of mind to know which parts of town were safer than other. Chris had slipped me what little cash he had, I think it was only like seven bucks or something, but I managed a couple of cheap cheeseburgers from McDonald’s.”
“It was springtime by then, but the nights were still cold. I hadn’t realized how cold it had been the night before because Chris was there, and we were so freaked and scared and huddled in that tube, we didn’t really notice. But all I had on was one of Chris’s long-sleeved shirts, that was much too big, over mine, and his jeans. I slept again in the tube at the park or tired to sleep, but I knew I couldn’t stay there forever.
“The next day I skipped school and went home. I knew my dad would be gone, but I needed to slip inside to get a bag or something. My mom was gone, too. She told me later that she’d been out looking for me, but I managed to get in with the hide-a-key and I packed a bag, freaked the whole time that I would be caught. And I left again. I wandered around the city all day and finally thought to look for a shelter. I knew they were around because my mom did a lot of volunteering. I used the phone book at a gas station and walked to the closest one. My feet were covered in blisters because everything I owned was meant for looks and not durability.
“To this day, I don’t know why I didn’t think to grab any money or at least look around the house for something with value that I could sell or whatever, but I was young and naive and had never had to fend for myself before. Anyway, I ended up at the shelter and stayed there two nights. You had to leave during the day but then they opened the doors again at dinner time.
“Everyone was so nice and the food was actually really good. Most people there were volunteers and retired and just looking to give back to their community. The shelter workers tried several times to talk to me and get me to call home, or if I was in danger, to call the police, but I had no idea of the ways of the world. I’d just been kicked out of my house and called every filthy name my dad could think of, cursing me and yelling that I was no longer his son because he wouldn’t have a gay son and how disgusted he was that I’d ever been born. Basically, I was never going home again. I wasn’t going to the police either because I didn’t want them to take me home or put me in foster care.
“None of that really mattered, though, because my mother came for me. She had a black-and-blue bruise on her cheek and she’d been looking for me for days. She’d tried all the shelters and had gone to the police stations, filing missing person reports, and filing her own claim against my dad, for hitting her. He’d packed a bag and hadn’t been back to the house since the night he threw me out.” Jersey sniffled and shifted a little bit. He pulled back just enough to look at Travis. His eyes were shiny but no tears seemed to have escaped.
“I was lucky, Travis. My mother came for me and told me she didn’t care if I liked pink unicorns or rugby, I was still her son and she would love me no matter who I was attracted to. She was just as inconsolable as I was when we had that conversation, and she apologized over and over again about not being able to stop my father and that I’d had to sleep outside and at the shelter. But you know what?” he asked rhetorically. “Without that experience, I wouldn’t have the knowledge of what it can be like for a young kid on the streets. Being scared and hungry, having nothing, and no one. You just melt into the pavement. Everything you ever thought, every dream you ever had, gone. Washed away like it never was, because your life just turned upside-down, and even getting a meal or getting to school, became impossible tasks. So I won’t go so far as to say I’m glad I had those experiences, but they did change my life.
“I know that was way more info than anyone ever needed or wanted on a first date, and that was likely the longest answer to your question you could have ever imagined, but that’s why I’d like to do something to help LGBT kids who have nothing. Or even those who do have supportive families but just want someplace accepting they can come to hang out and be welcomed. I know I could have used someplace like that when I’d needed it.”
Travis took Jersey’s face in his palm and placed a soft kiss on his cheek, the gesture simply meant to comfort and drew Jersey into the circle of his arms. He couldn’t even imagine what something like that would be like for a thirteen-year-old boy, who was simply trying to explore his world and understand himself a little better, only to be thrown out by the man who was supposed to love him most.
He held Jersey long past when the other boy was probably ready to be let go, but the contact was soothing him as well. Feeling Jersey in his arms, safe and unha
rmed, brought a fresh lump to his throat.
“Is your mother home right now?” Travis croaked. “Because I would really like to meet her.”
-V-
When they pulled into the driveway, which was really more like a semi-circle drive through, Travis pulled his truck to a stop behind Jersey’s car. He sat for a moment taking in the huge house in front of him.
The house was beige, two stories, and had black shutters. Each floor of the house must have had vaulted ceilings because Travis saw windows that were easily ten feet tall on the bottom level, and while the top windows were not as large, two of the upper rooms had balconies off the front of the house.
The entry had three stone steps that sloped up to the house and on either side of the massive door was a large pot with a variety of plants growing in them. Large trees shaded the property and made the home feel more grounded and hidden if that was even possible for a house that size.
Jersey came over as Travis got out of his truck.
“I know it’s a lot, huh? I’ve never had too many people over because it’s just easier not to deal with whatever they’re going to say. Just realize that it’s my grandparents’ house and not mine.”
Travis nodded and snuck a glance toward the side of the house. The driveway continued around the corner and Travis suspected the large building he saw was a garage housing any number of cars inside.
“So is your mom going to be home?” Travis asked as he followed Jersey up the steps.
Catalyst (Connectivity Book 2) Page 7
