“Is there something wrong with your truck?”
Travis jumped and fumbled his phone, cursing as it hit the concrete. He picked it up and gave it a quick once over as he turned to face Jersey.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. If it’s broken, I’ll buy you a new one.” Jersey was looking down at the ground and his hair was shading part of his face, but Travis could see he’d been crying and was trying not to let him see it. “I didn’t hear your truck start and I wondered if something was wrong. My grandpa works on all his cars by himself, I’m sure he’d take a look at it if you want.”
“There’s nothing wrong with my truck and my phone’s fine. I keep a hard case on it because of sports and where I work.”
Jersey nodded, still looking down as he toed his shoe into a crack in the driveway, his arms wrapped around his middle. “Why are you still here?”
“Do you want me to go?”
Jersey shrugged. “Figured you’d be halfway home by now is all.” His voice wavered at the end.
The resignation and defeat in his posture and tone were Travis’s undoing. He pocketed his phone and went over, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend.
“I’m not ready to leave quite yet,” he said softly into Jersey’s hair as the boy cried silently, hugging Travis to him. “We still need to talk, but it can wait, okay? Your grandpa invited me to stay for dinner and how am I supposed to learn all your favorite meals if don’t experience them for myself? What kind of a boyfriend would I be if I didn’t stay for family dinner?”
Jersey clutched his shirt, bunching the fabric in his hands and Travis held on with one hand on the back of Jersey’s head and his other arm around his back. They must have stayed like that for several minutes and as Jersey’s emotions settled and he calmed down, they separated and Travis looked Jersey in the eyes. He held the sides of his face and used his thumbs to wipe away the remaining tears.
Jersey’s face was splotchy and his eyes were swollen, but Travis brushed the hair that was matted to his temples aside and tucked it behind his ears. He sniffled and looked back at Travis with huge eyes and an air of vulnerability. Travis leaned down and placed a gentle kiss to his lips.
“We’re still going to talk about this, and I’m not saying that everything is fine, but I’d like to have a chance to discuss it with you, instead of you dumping all that in my lap and then showing me the door. Okay? That wasn’t fair to me. If we’re going to try to be anything to each other and have a relationship, that can’t happen again.”
Jersey nodded solemnly.
“Good. Now give me hug and let’s go get you cleaned up for dinner.”
He came willingly into Travis’s arms and even though they still needed to talk about way too many things, he finally felt a sense of contentment wash over him as he held Jersey in his arms. Travis hoped dinner would be amazing because he could really use some good comfort food to soothe his frazzled heart.
~
Over a wonderful meal of baked macaroni and cheese, salad, and sauteed green beans, Travis got to learn a little bit about Jersey’s family.
His grandparents, Herald and Barbara, who liked to be called Barb or Barbie, used to be in the lumber business and had done very well for themselves over the years. Barb had stayed home with her children, Susan was one of three, and that’s where her work around the house had grown into a love for gardening. Both Jersey’s grandparents had a bit of a green thumb and spent their downtime gardening around their eight acres, while Herald enjoyed tinkering with his car collection as well.
As Jersey had mentioned, Susan was quite the busy lady without actually getting paid for anything she did. In conjunction with her volunteering, she also made quilts for an LGBT homeless shelter the family donated to back in New Jersey, and apparently, the whole family was on board with Jersey’s interest in opening a similar type of shelter, or center, locally. So much so, that his grandparents had already committed to providing one-third of the capital needed to back the project. They wanted Jersey to “earn his stripes” so to speak and go out into the world and find another investor who would provide another third, while he and his mother would make up the last chunk.
Travis had to admit, he was more than impressed. Not only did Jersey’s mother and grandparents support him in his sexuality, but they were prepared to go all-in backing him with his business plans as well. Quite obviously, what had happened to Jersey at age thirteen, with his father, had become more than a cornerstone in his family. It had turned into a course of action, something they all felt incredibly strongly about and wanted to see come to fruition.
Travis had shared a bit about his family, his younger adopted siblings, and his job. He’d also explained about his plans for the fall and when Jersey’s grandfather mentioned them hopefully staying together despite the distance since Jersey would be living on campus at his college, he felt uncomfortable at the idea of Jersey being so far away. Granted it was probably only an hour or so, but it still felt like a time bomb had just been placed on their new, fragile relationship.
Travis caught Jersey’s frown as the conversation turned to outfitting his dorm room and what any possible roommates might be like. He had to admit, the idea of that didn’t sit well with him either. There were so many nasty people in the world and Travis hoped that anyone who was LGBT and entering into that type of situation, found the transition easy and without bigotry or shame. If Jersey encountered an unwelcoming environment, Travis feared Jersey might be seen as an easy target due to his size. And although the idea of needing to step in on his behalf made Travis bristle, he silently vowed to keep up his running and workout routine over the summer, just in case.
When the meal was eaten and the dishes were cleared, Barb said she’d whip up some dessert and call them down a bit later. With thank you’s all around, they finally made their way back up to Jersey’s room, where they all but collapsed on his huge bed. The afternoon and loaded conversations had about worn them both out.
Travis groaned as he lay back with his feet on the floor and his arms over his head. He finally allowed himself to relax a little after a long and draining last few days. Jersey curled up on his side near Travis and rested his head on his hands, looking over at him. Travis turned his head and met Jersey’s gaze.
“What are you thinking about in that head of yours? You look like you’re miles away,” Travis commented, moving one hand over and sweeping Jersey’s hair off his face. He’d been pretty quiet over dinner, not completely silent, but definitely withdrawn.
“Lots of things, I guess,” he replied in a quiet tone.
Travis turned onto his side, after kicking his shoes off, and matched Jersey’s position. “I’m not going to ask you to talk about anything you don’t want to right now. I’m so fried, any more heavy conversations are going to have to wait until tomorrow.”
Jersey nodded, but his eyes misted a little and he rolled onto his back, draping his arm over his eyes. “I’m sorry, Travis.” His voice warbled a little. “I’m probably the worst boyfriend for you to have as your first. I’m a mess. You’re over there just trying to deal with my crazy and probably wondering what the heck you’ve gotten yourself into with me. I wouldn’t blame you, or be mad if you just wanted to leave and—”
Travis cut him off with a hand over his mouth. Jersey moved his arm, startled, and tried to sit up, but Travis scooched over and draped his arm over his chest, keeping him down on the bed. He maneuvered them so Jersey was the little spoon and he fit himself in behind him, resting Jersey’s head on his bicep and wrapping his other arm across Jersey’s chest and up over his right shoulder, anchoring them together.
“I don’t want to hear any more about how awful you are, got it? I don’t happen to think you’re awful, and I don’t like it when people say things that aren’t true about people I care about, okay?” Travis admonished.
“How can you say you care about me? I’m already—” Jersey tried to pull away.
Travis held tight and mov
ed his hand from Jersey’s shoulder to his neck, wrapping his fingers around it, not in a fashion meant to hurt in any way, just simply meant to get his attention.
Jersey stilled immediately.
Travis didn’t say anything, he just held his hand there, while they lay together on the bed. The room was quiet, with the exception of the opened french doors on the balcony and the sounds of nature that drifted in from outside.
After about ten minutes of laying in that position, Travis moved his hand back down to Jersey’s shoulder, but Jersey grabbed it quickly and moved it back up to his neck, keeping his hand on the back of Travis’s wrist, holding him there.
“Please,” he whispered, his voice almost pleading, and Travis nodded and squeezed lightly in reassurance.
He had no idea what their current position would like to anyone else if anyone were to see them, but Travis had just needed a way to get through to Jersey, to help him settle, and apparently, a hand around his throat was something Jersey responded to. Travis was strangely okay with it. He knew he would never hurt Jersey, and he definitely knew his own strength, but the fact that Jersey trusted him like that, spoke more to him than words at that moment.
If Travis thought about it, he likened the moment to something that might happen with someone who was autistic. Sometimes people just responded to different forms of stimuli, needing pressure, or weight or darkness to help them cope with whatever was troubling them at that time. If what they were doing helped Jersey feel more at ease and comfortable, then Travis was totally fine with it.
Jersey relaxed into the hold, resting quietly with his hands around Travis’s wrist and before he knew what had happened, Travis had fallen asleep, surrounded by Jersey’s comforting scent and warmth.
~
When Travis stirred and blinked his eyes open, he realized it was dark in the room. Jersey was right where he had been and must have fallen asleep as well, but there was a blanket thrown over them, and Travis caught the scent of some kind of baked treat in the air.
He moved his hand down from Jersey’s neck, over his chest and stomach, then rubbed his arm and side. Jersey stirred and made a noise in his throat, squirming a bit, and Travis realized, just as Jersey must have, he was very hard and pressed right up against Jersey’s butt. Jersey must have felt like testing the waters, because he squirmed again, pressing his tiny little butt right into Travis’s lap.
“You are incorrigible, you know that?” Travis groaned quietly as Jersey rocked up and down slowly, creating a very pleasant friction for Travis.
“I don’t need anything from you, but please let me make you feel good. You deserve this,” Jersey whispered.
He reached back over Travis’s hip with his left hand, and grabbed his butt, giving himself leverage to grind against him harder. Travis gripped Jersey’s hip, drawing him back, as Jersey pull Travis in from behind. He turned his head into his bicep and breathed into the back of Jersey’s hair.
The pressure and friction that were building up were incredible, and Travis squeezed his hand between their bodies, popped the button on his jeans and lowered his zipper. He freed his rock-hard length from its confines and groaned with relief. He would never have imagined coming in his underwear could be as erotic as that moment was, but he’d never experienced anything like what they were doing before. He felt a little naughty, but knew what they were doing was really on the tame side of things, considering they were both fully clothed and under a blanket.
Jersey removed Travis’s hand from his hip and brought it back up to wrap around his throat. Travis squeezed lightly and Jersey returned his own hand to squeeze Travis’s butt through his jeans, grinding against him again.
There was no stopping where they were headed, and as Travis neared the edge, he gripped Jersey’s neck tighter, not tight enough to leave a mark, but tight enough for him to feel it. Jersey groaned a soft sound in his throat, and the feel of the vibration against Travis’s hand was so erotic, he matched the sound, and thrust a few more times, finally coming up his shorts and abs.
He panted against the back of Jersey’s neck, enjoying the little aftershocks, and brought his arm down and squeezed it around Jersey’s chest, hugging him tightly. Jersey put his arm on top of Travis’s and laced their fingers together, breathing out a content and satisfied sigh.
“Did you come?” he asked into the side of Jersey’s head, brushing his hair away with his nose. He ran his nose along Jersey’s lobe and down the column of his neck, enjoying his warmth and scent, and Jersey shivered and nodded against him. “We should probably clean up. I have no idea what time it is, but I should probably head home too.”
Jersey released his hand and rolled over to face him, throwing his arm over Travis’s shoulder, hugging him tightly around his neck. Travis returned the embrace and after another minute, they pulled apart.
Jersey smiled cautiously. “Are you mad?”
“Why would I be mad?”
Jersey cast his eyes down. “I know we need to talk about the sex stuff, and I thought you might be mad that we did that—knowing what I told you earlier. I don’t want you thinking I was trying to use you.”
Travis drew Jersey’s eyes back up with a couple of fingers under his chin. “I’m not mad. We do need to talk, but we don’t need to discuss everything all at once. I want to be able to be close to you. If we’re going to have any kind of a chance at a relationship, we need to be able to talk freely and without judgment. If you have things you need while being with someone, and I’m that someone, then you’re going to have to tell me. I’m not a mind reader. Did I think you were a virgin? No. You even said yourself that you’d been with other people. Was I expecting what you told me? No, definitely not. But I can’t fault you for having a past. As long as we talk and you tell me what you need, and we’re committed to each other, then I’ll do my best to give you that. You may have to spell it out for me since there’s no way I can ever compare to what you’ve already had, but maybe we can make what we have something different. Something that we both benefit from and use that as our foundation going forward.”
Jersey stared back at him with wide eyes, taking in everything Travis had said and sorting it out in his head.
Travis grasped Jersey’s chin with his index finger and thumb and gently placed a kiss on his lips. Jersey reached up and placed his hand on Travis’s cheek, stroking his thumb over his lips. He spoke softly staring right at Travis.
“You’ve already given me more than anybody else ever has. I’ve only ever wanted to be equal, or at least have a relationship with someone that was an actual relationship and not just a one-sided affair. If I could change the last year for you, I would. But I was just lonely and looking for someone, anyone, to fill a void in my life and I’m not sure I’ll need the same things from you that I’ve needed in the past. Those things were more about me acting out in a cry for attention and companionship than need. If I had a real, honest connection with someone, and they were acting in both our best interests, it would change things quite a bit for me. So you don’t ever need to worry that you can’t or don’t compare to whatever has been in my past, because if we give this a shot, you’re already miles ahead of the competition.”
Travis smiled.
“I mean it. I freaked you out on Wednesday and you still came back and wanted to talk things out. Then I wouldn’t talk, because I guess I was afraid of your reaction, and I didn’t really know how to just talk like we are now, and I freaked you out again by dumping a shit load confessional in your lap, over the phone nonetheless, and you still stayed.” Jersey closed his eyes and took a deep breath, then cleared his throat. Looking back at Travis, he continued, placing his hand over Travis’s heart. “You talked with my family, and then, when we came up here, you gave me what I needed. Your instincts told you what to do and how to handle me, and how to make me feel safe, and no one has ever given that to me before.” His voice cracked and he wrapped his arm around Travis, pressing his face into Travis’s neck.
; “You don’t know how much that means to me and how much you already mean to me. I am really, really going to try not to screw this up. And I’m sorry if I’m bad at it because I will likely screw up again. But thank you for not giving up on me. I know you probably wouldn’t agree, but to me, you’re like my first real boyfriend. The first person to claim a little corner of my heart. So please don’t worry about not being enough or not knowing enough. Because from the sticky mess in my shorts, you had me coming hands-free, and that is because of you and what you gave me, without even knowing I needed it.”
He pulled back and when he looked at Travis, he got butterflies in his stomach at the look on his Jersey's face. Jersey leaned in and tenderly guided him into a slow, deep, and sensual kiss, using his tongue to explore and caress all the corners of his mouth, and even though Travis was still new to the whole kissing thing, he realized pretty quickly that he’d gladly spend hours perfecting his skill if it meant kissing each other like they were for those long minutes, in the dark, on Jersey’s bed.
And as Jersey walked Travis down to his truck a short while later, he found himself reluctant to leave. He pressed Jersey up against the side of his truck and devoured his mouth and neck, feeling a bit bolder in letting his hands wander where they liked. Jersey was equally as exploratory, but those moments were simply for being together, nothing more. Neither asked for more and neither pushed too far.
Travis wrapped Jersey up in a tight hug and with whispered words of goodbye, he finally released his new boyfriend and made the journey home, crawling into bed, content and at peace.
-VII-
Travis woke to the sound of an incoming text. His phone was still in his jeans since he’d all but fallen into bed the night before and hadn’t bothered to clear his pockets. He rolled over to the edge of the bed, and without losing the covers, reached over to snag his jeans off the floor.
Catalyst (Connectivity Book 2) Page 10
