Starkad couldn’t sit back and do nothing anymore. He couldn’t let her suffer alone. It only took a tight grip on the doorknob and a well-placed nudge with his shoulder, and he broke her lock. Charging into her room without permission was a forgivable sin, compared to finding a way to stop her pain.
Kirby stared at him, eyes wide, when he walked in. She was curled into a tiny ball. It took her a few seconds to focus on him.
He scooped her into his arms. Instead of fighting him, she gripped his shirt in her fists and leaned into him. He carried her back to his room, laid her on the bed, and wrapped himself around her.
She curled up against his chest with a whimper, her entire body shaking.
“I’m here. As much as you need.” He whispered the comforts as much for himself as for her. He held her until her breathing evened and she drifted off to sleep, and didn’t let go even then.
When she woke up several hours later, it was calmly, with the light flutter of eyelids and a few tiny, stunning sighs. She pressed into his chest, her skin scalding him through his shirt. “Why?” she asked softly.
“Because.” He couldn’t tell her more than that. Gods, he wanted to spill everything. Tell her the truth about where she’d come from. Stories of what they’d been together, once upon a time. This wasn’t the time for any of that.
She forced herself to sit. “Okay.”
“We have to deal with this somehow. This is destroying you.”
Her laugh was strained. “I’ve already been destroyed. And I’m not letting anyone else inside my head. TOM was there for too long. They’re still there.”
“Doing nothing isn’t an option. And what you’re doing now isn’t a solution. What are our next steps?”
“I don’t know.” She fiddled with the loose threads on his blanket.
Was he holding out because of fear for what it would do to her, or to him? She may not even be interested. She deserved to decide for herself. “I may have something to try. It stays between you and me. It doesn’t require talking or diving into your head,” he said.
“Sign me up.” She met his gaze, hope in her eyes and voice.
“Don’t agree before you know the details. You’ll have full control, even when it feels like you don’t. You say what your limits are. There’s only one hard rule, and it’s that this doesn’t lead to sex.” He had to be firm about that. He couldn’t blur that line.
She licked her lips. “What kind of therapy has the potential to lead to sex?”
“Correction—there are two hard rules. Second is that you trust me.” He needed to get on with the explanation. Would this tug on past life memories for her? Min had always liked his flogger, especially when Kirby was involved, and she enjoyed the play just as much.
“I do trust you.” She said it so plainly and sincerely, the words made him ache. “What are we doing?”
“Teaching you new ways of accepting pain. Overcoming your negative associations. Learning that safety and security follow the hurting.”
“That’s both vague and a little too good to be true.”
“Promise me first that you’ll obey the rules. You don’t have to commit to anything else until I explain, but I need your word now.” Starkad wasn’t an idiot. He could be oblivious at times, but it was hard to miss that she was as attracted to him as he was to her.
“I already promised the one.” Hints of frustration were creeping in. “But all right. I swear I trust you and no sex.”
If he dragged this out any more, talking about it would become insurmountable, rather than just the big deal he’d made it into. “Good. Your safeword is defiance.”
Pink dotted her cheeks. “Safeword?”
“Don’t forget it.”
“Okay.” Her irritation vanished in her breathy reply. “Defiance.”
The concept was simple on the surface. He’d restrain her and administer pain. Bondage. Spanking. When he mentioned a cane, the way her chest heaved almost undid him.
Starkad walked her through everything. How she’d be restrained. The best way to keep her from being injured. He reminded her she had the power to say stop with her word. And checked in to make sure she was still okay with what he laid out.
He set a pillow near the edge of the mattress and told her to kneel. She complied without hesitation. The desire that thrummed through him carried memories of the past. Of being with Kirby in previous lives. He was rock hard, his cock threatening to strain his zipper. He pressed up against her back and inhaled softly. Under the soap and deodorant, he could smell fear and desire.
Fuck, that was tempting. “How are you doing?” he asked.
“Good.” A tremor ran through her reply.
So delicious. He wrapped a silk scarf around his hand, then unwound it again. Each step was another closer to no return.
He wasn’t kidding anyone. They’d passed that point long ago. He slipped the blindfold over her eyes, and her breath hitched.
When he tied it behind her head, her back went rigid.
“Kirby, talk to me,” he said.
“I’m okay.” She didn’t sound so certain this time.
The trust had to flow both ways. If she said she was all right, he’d keep going. He slipped his finger along the elastic of her shorts and glided over her hip. The skin-on-skin contact was tantalizing. Her sigh was better.
He tugged and yanked her bottoms down in a single swift pull, exposing her ass.
Kirby whimpered. It sounded too much like the sound she made in her sleep. There was no excitement there. And then she sobbed.
No.
“Defiance.” Her voice was so soft, he barely heard it.
He pulled the blindfold off as quickly as he could without hurting her. Her body quaked.
“I’m sorry.” Her chin quivered, and her voice cracked.
He sank down next to her and pulled her into his lap. “It’s okay,” he murmured. “You never have to apologize for that.”
But someone would pay for it. It might take years, or decades, but he’d exact a toll from Hel and Loki and everyone at TOM. And when he was done, he’d be the last person to atone. Until then, he’d make sure she was safe.
Chapter Fourteen
Now - Kirby
Fuck Starkad. Fuck what was smart or logical. Fuck her training. Because she was definitely fucking these gods. If her life ended tonight because of it, so be it. And if she survived the experience, she’d better have the time of her fucking life.
Kirby looked between Min and Gwydion. “Should we take this conversation someplace more... intimate?”
“Your wish is my desire, Huntress.” Min grasped her fingers, kissed the back of her knuckles, and pulled her to her feet. He was a bit over the top, but it was alluring in its own way.
Why did he call her Huntress? Did he have any idea who she was? He couldn’t. And she had decided not to care, so this was her, doing exactly that.
He led her to the elevator, and Gwydion joined them. Neither man touched her on the ride up. It was disconcerting, in a delicious builds anticipation sort of way. She was used to the guys she met pawing at her the instant she implied she’d sleep with them.
The opposite of Starkad. Whom these two were nothing like, because they’d actually acknowledged their interest in her.
But she wasn’t caring about Starkad.
They rode to the top floor, where the hotel’s two high-end suites were. If she was expected to be impressed by someone’s money, she wasn’t. Not that she’d complain about a little extra luxury.
Min unlocked the door and let them in. She had about two seconds to take in the expensive décor and vast room, before Gwydion cupped her face between his palms and crushed his mouth to hers.
She felt as though she’d been connected to a livewire, as showers of sparks raced through her veins. Intensity and frantic insanity bled through the connection. She gripped his shirt in her fists, holding on for all she was worth, and focused on every bit of his attention. She was learning to bre
athe again.
He followed a hungry path down her neck, then up, to nibble on her ear, before pressing his lips to hers again.
A new sensation joined the growing buffet. Min’s breath caressed her cheek, and he pressed his chest into her back. “Do you have a safeword?” he asked.
“Defiance.” Because how much more appropriate could that be right now, based on where she’d gotten it?
His chuckle rumbled through her. “I like that.”
Gwydion’s touch fell away, and a sharp spike of longing speared her. He brushed his lips over hers one more time, lightening the sting. “I’m going to watch for a little bit, if you’re okay with that.”
This entire thing flowed too smoothly. Min and Gwydion had done this before. They were gods. They’d probably had sex in every way imaginable, and some most people couldn’t comprehend, thousands of times. As long as that meant they were good at it, Kirby didn’t care. This was far from her first time joining a stranger in his hotel room.
Gwydion settled into a nearby chair, watching her. The electricity was back, sparking in her veins and dancing along her skin.
“Take off your dress.” Min spoke like a man who wasn’t used to hearing no. She liked that. “Leave the heels on.”
Kirby couldn’t fight her smile as she stripped the dress away and dropped it at her side. She looked good. Half a lifetime of a strict physical regimen meant her body was sculpted and sleek. And she didn’t sport tan lines. Mostly because she liked to pretend it actually tormented Starkad when she sunbathed naked near the pool.
“You’re not wearing much else,” Min said with appreciation. He moved into view.
Her pulse was doing an interesting sort of tap-dance at the possessive desire in his gaze. “I didn’t want many obstacles tonight.” Was that too much information? He had said he preferred someone who knew how to play.
He hooked a finger in the elastic of her lacy underwear. The tiny patch of his skin brushing hers was white-hot. With a single tug, friction burned deliciously across her skin, and he tore the panties off.
Apparently that was possible.
Behind Min, Gwydion stroked the visible bulge inside his slacks.
“I like it.” Min’s voice was a low rumble.
She couldn’t agree more.
Min grasped her arm. When his gaze fell to her wrists and the scars, a shard of humiliation disrupted her enjoyment.
“Who hurt you, Huntress?” He kissed the pale lines.
She struggled with the desire to jerk away. “I did. No one holds the power to hurt me, except me.” She hoped that sounded as cold and powerful as she needed it to.
He gave a curt nod and looked her in the eye. “I understand.”
Kirby doubted he did, but she was grateful he didn’t push for more.
Min raised his hand to eyelevel and drew a tight circle in the air with his fingers. An invisible force gripped Kirby’s wrists and trapped them above her head.
Magical bonds. Her heart pounded against her ribs. Since he put them there, it was likely only he could take them away. That added another flavor of fear to the parfait. Yummy.
She craved this feeling almost daily. The anticipation. Desire. Fear. She’d never found it this strong with anyone besides Starkad. There was a difference here, though. With Starkad, there had always been a sliver of knowledge—solid and practically tangible—that he wouldn’t hurt her. Here, her heart thought she was safe, but her brain screamed at her to run. And there wasn’t any pain yet.
Min stepped away, leaving her helpless, on display in the middle of the room. He rummaged through a suitcase and returned with two clamps on a chain.
Kirby’s heart lodged in her throat. She raised her brows. “You travel with nipple clamps?”
“God of passion. I bring my work with me. Don’t you?”
She did. But there was no way she was disclosing what that meant in her case. “Why not use magical ones?” She twisted her arms, to emphasize her point.
“There’s something more primal about physical ones.” He slapped her ass. “Careful with the talking back.”
Kirby smirked. This was going to be fun. “Yes, sir.”
Min wrapped the chain once around his hand, then glided both palms up her chest. His touch was soft, but the contrast between his skin and the cool metal was distinct. He teased her breasts with feather-light caresses—brushing his thumbs over her nipples, teasing the steel along her skin, lowering his head to suck and lick. He kept up the attention until she was panting and lightheaded.
When he pulled away, the cool air in the room kissed her damp skin. He set the clamps in place. The ache rocketed through her body, tugging at her core. She squeezed her thighs together, hoping to sate the pulse. It didn’t work.
“Are you enjoying yourself?” Min spanked her.
Her ass stung. “Yes.”
“But you’re terrified.” He slapped the other cheek.
“Damn right, I am.”
He glided his palm along the tender skin of her bare butt, both heating and soothing the pain. “If I ask you if you make a habit of this, will you tell me you’re not normally that kind of girl?”
“If you spank me again, I’ll tell you any lie you want to hear.”
“Never. I never want you to lie to me.”
She couldn’t ignore the finality in his tone, but she could pretend he wasn’t implying this would happen more than once. Whatever kind of role-play worked for him... “Would you prefer I begged? I’ll do that.”
“Hmm...” Min’s deep growl rolled over her. He slipped a hand between her legs. She was so wet, the inside of her thighs were coated. “That’s tempting.” He teased her opening and slipped toward her clit. He stroked until she hovered on the edge of orgasm and was grinding into his hand, and then he pulled away.
Her pout was interrupted by a new zing of pain when he placed another clamp on her inner labia, below her swollen clit. That was new. It hurt like hell. She loved it.
The hold on her wrists vanished, and her arms fell to her sides, an ache spreading across her shoulders.
“Kneel,” Min said.
She complied. This wasn’t just about the high she got from the pain, though she was falling into that hard and fast. It was also about not being the one to think. Dropping her guard and letting herself be helpless. That wasn’t an option in her everyday life, and doing it here was exhilarating.
“If you want me to stop, you can slap my leg.” Min unzipped his slacks.
Kirby watched him with eyes that were probably as big as her expectations. She wasn’t disappointed. She’d been with big guys before, but he was toeing that line of novelty-sized.
He gripped her hair hard enough to yank her scalp, and shoved his cock in her mouth. Tears welled in her eyes when he hit the back of her throat. She choked through her gag and relaxed enough to let him in.
With her hands free, she could reach up with one, to stroke his sac. The clamps had become a dull, persistent ache. Enough to remind her of their presence. She slipped her other hand between her legs. Toward the need that pulsed there.
“I didn’t say you could do that.” Warning edged Min’s words.
She planted her palm on her thigh instead, to steady herself.
He fucked her face without reserve, his groans becoming grunts as his thrusts grew shorter. His balls tightened under her touch. He shuddered when he came, spilling in her mouth, a hint dribbling down her chin.
Kirby dragged her tongue along his shaft as he slid from her mouth.
Min knelt in front of her. He ran his thumb over her chin, smearing his cum, and kissed her softly. “How are you doing?”
Did her tongue still work? “Horny,” she managed.
Gwydion laughed. She’d almost forgotten he was here.
Min scooped her into his arms. This felt familiar. And right. He laid her on her back on the bed, and the invisible restraints returned to bind her arms above her head.
He pulled the clamps from her
nipples. Sharp needles tingled under her skin, as the blood rushed back. It was hot and cold and delicious. He kissed each tender nub softly, amplifying the sensation of feeling returning to the area.
The mattress shifted when Gwydion knelt between her legs. “I’m done watching.”
The pressure vanished from her clit as well, and the feeling in her breasts was mimicked between her thighs. Then two pairs of mouths were on her, sucking and licking. Teasing her body as it woke up.
When Gwydion slid two fingers inside her and hooked them up, to press her G-spot, that déjà vu feeling returned. The way he coaxed her yanked her thoughts back to him. He wrapped his lips around her clit and fingered her.
She was so close to orgasm, she came quickly, bucking against his face and clenching around him.
Min’s touch on her nipples stayed consistent—light, playful, and enhancing the lingering sting.
Gwydion nudged her opening with the head of his cock and slid inside without further warning. He stretched her out and drew a moan. Fuck, that felt good.
He glided in and out slowly at first. As he picked up the pace, he returned to tease her clit. She hovered right on the edge between his touch feeling incredible and it being too much.
Another climax crawled through her with deliciously slow torment. Hinting that she was almost there. Mocking her with the agony of anticipation. Pleasure crashed around her, and she screamed at the release.
That seemed to unleash Gwydion. He pounded inside her frantically, drawing out her orgasm. She lost herself in the maze of every pleasure center firing in her brain at the same time.
He grunted, and she swore she felt him spill in her. As he slowed then stopped, he stayed buried inside her.
Kirby slipped away from the edge of ecstasy, but the feeling didn’t vanish completely.
Gwydion leaned in for a hungry kiss. Another of those that obliterated any reason she might have.
He finally slipped out of her. Min pulled her back into him, and Gwydion lay across from her. He pressed his forehead to her breastbone, then peppered her with a smattering of tiny kisses, before he settled in.
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