by T Swanepoel
Chapter 18 – Star crossed
The look on his face spoke volumes.
My heart sank to my shoes. What was I thinking of? Alex was the Sun, the Ruler of the Milky Way! And he had a girlfriend, who happened to be my planetary sister. Maybe if he didn’t have Lisa I would have had a chance, one less obstacle in my way. But she was there, and she was also my best friend, the best friend that I’d ever had.
I didn’t have the courage for the rejection, so I unbuckled the seat belt, opened the door and jumped out. The Reds were close behind and I knew I wouldn’t need to wait for long.
“Valerie, get back in the car!” Alex demanded. “Valerie? Valerie!” he called angrily after me.
I took the longest strides that I could manage to get away from him. In return, he revved the car as he spun it round and drove up behind me.
“Valerie, get back in the car! Right now!” he yelled again after me as he watched me walk away from the tarred road. I turned a deaf ear and walked even further away. The only thing stopping me from jumping the fence and running back into the veldt was the electric game fencing.
“Valerie, please get back in this car,” he said, a little more controlled this time. “Please?”
I ignored him completely. It was too humiliating to even face him, not to mention driving back to varsity all the way with him. Oh, how cross I was with myself. What had possessed me to say out loud that I was in love with him? If it was possible at all to kick myself, I would have done it there and then. Where were the Reds? Surely they couldn’t be that far behind? I looked up and down, I couldn’t even remember from which way we‘d come. The sun was peeking out over the mountain range on the horizon. And over the distant little hill an old truck, straight out of the ark, came crawling in our direction.
I would get on the truck, even if I had to hike. Alex could trail me or watch me using his powers, I didn’t care. But I had to avoid facing him ever, ever again, at all costs.
I guess I had pushed him beyond his limits, because he hit the brakes and jumped out of the car. Maybe he was afraid that I’d jump on the truck or draw too much attention. His dark face, thunderously dangerous, with the white glow around him growing bigger by the second as he made a beeline for me, made my heart miss a beat or two out of fear. He moved ran full speed, and all I could do was run as fast as I could.
“Valerie!”
It felt so childish, running away as if we were playing cops and robbers like six-year olds. Even though Alex looked scary, I knew deep down that he’d never do anything to hurt me. Actually, I was running away from my own fears, rejection being the biggest one on the list of the moment.
I glanced over my shoulder and what I saw, made my legs go even faster still - Alex was catching up on me.
“You are forcing me to do this,” he whispered in my ear, right next to me.
From the left behind me: his strong arm locked around my waist and yanked me hard. We lost our balance and fell forward. I could see the ground getting closer and closed my eyes; lifting my arms to brace for impact as this bushveld ground was hard and rocky. I knew what was coming: I could feel the burning from the stripped skin already.
But the impact took too long to materialise. And we weren’t that far from the ground! It didn’t make sense to me. So I opened my eyes, and the sensation of falling vanished. I felt as light as a feather.
“What happened?” I asked, totally disorientated. “And where are we?”
I could barely make out Alex’s face, everything was bright, bright white.
This time, he ignored me.
“Alex, what happened? And where are we?” I demanded.
He waited a moment before he answered.
“Give your eyes a moment to adjust, you’ll see just now,” he said with a chuckle in his voice.
Something big and round was taking shape in front of me, slowly. I screwed up my eyes to make out what the object was. It grew clearer after a moment and I made out colours – a sphere of green and white and blue and black.
Then I recognised it, and what I saw made me pull my breath in sharply. We were looking down on Earth!
Alex’s arm was still around me, and I grabbed it with both my hands and clung to him frantically, hanging on for dear life.
He laughed out loud.
“Don’t be afraid. We’re safe. We won’t fall,” he said patronizingly, a laugh in his voice.
“How...” I gasped for my breath, looking down on Earth. We were incredibly high and far away from its safe and solid surface. How I longed for the impact, that nearing ground of a few moments ago. “Alex, how did we get here?” I asked, panicked for explanations. Without thinking about my actions, I slowly wiggled around to grab hold of him with both arms, out of pure fear. “And how can we breathe? And where is here? Why aren’t we falling? Can you fly, is that it?” I asked, still peeking down.
“This is ...our Lagrange point,” he answered slowly, wrapping his other arm around me as well.
And now I was supposed to suddenly understand everything, I thought, and then bent my head back to look up at him. He was a lot taller than me.
He was smiling down on me, with his baby blue eyes, killer dimples and golden brown skin. My heart sped up; my mind distracted by the sight of him, my fears evaporating like mist under the sun. I realised I felt completely safe with him, in spite of being suspended somewhere in space.
He was waiting for me to respond to something that he had said. Alex had always had that effect on me, of freezing my brain, and this time was no exception. For the umpteenth time in my life, I stood wordless in front of him - I couldn’t get my mouth or lips to move.
“I’ve told you before about the Lagrange point. It’s the gravitational balance point between Sun and Earth? The balance point between... you and me?” he added, still smiling.
I nodded slowly, hypnotised by his eyes.
He started explaining, and I saw his lips move, heard the sounds. But the moment was too big. Here I was,
in space,
alone with Alex,
wrapped around him like a pair of tights.
Somewhere in the middle of his explanation, I started to listen to the sounds from his mouth and his words registered on me.
“No, I can’t fly, I’m not Superman. But having the sun as an energy source does have its advantages. One is able to travel on a beam of light,” he continued, as if talking to himself. “The best thing about this travelling is that time stands completely still. You don’t even need oxygen. It’s physically impossible to fall, you know? I can’t go far, of course, I need to stay within Earth’s gravitational field for my link to remain intact,” he said, sounding a little bitter at the end. He paused and then smiled again. “So what do you think?” he asked, looking around.
The sky around me had never been so glorious. The universe stretched out in front of me, with billions and billions of little sparkles everywhere, crispy clear without Earth’s atmosphere dimming the view. Everything frozen in time, beautifully. It was possible to clearly distinguish the densest band of stars - a cross-cut of our home galaxy.
“I love that,” the words popped out before I could think. I was immediately reminded of a few moments back when I had told him that I loved him as well.
I couldn’t take it back, what I’d said, even if I wanted to. No, it was out in the open now. I might just as well admit it. And apologise for it.
The blush was too strong to hold back. I couldn’t look at him any longer and I turned my head away, to the Earth far below.
“I’m sorry for what I said earlier in the car, about...,” I cleared my throat, very uncomfortable in my skin, “about revealing my feelings about you.” I let go of him and then feared the possibility of falling again. “Can I let go? I mean of you? I mean, without falling?” I realised I was already free of him and I wasn’t falling. It felt strange, the weightlessness, slowly floating away. But I didn’t let it distract me. Instead I continued, to get it over with.
“I
mean, it’s not that it’s not true... it’s just that... well, I shouldn’t have said it. I mean.... Lisa is my best friend and all.... And actually I am a terrible person... I mean... I did betray her and now I’m interfering in her relationship and...” I sighed and drew a long breath. I hated being on the spot. Then I collected myself. There was no point in shying away from it any further; my deepest feelings had already been revealed and I stood emotionally stripped naked and vulnerable in front of Alex. At least the apology was over and done with.
“I’m sorry, Alex. I shouldn’t have told you,” I concluded firmly.
This time, he didn’t respond.
“Are you finished?” he asked eventually, when I looked up at him briefly.
Tears welled up in my eyes. I felt unbelievably hurt and disappointed at not getting the answer back from him that I had hoped for. But I wouldn’t show him. It was one thing for him to know how I felt about him; it was another to show him how hard his rejection was.
I blinked until all the tears were away. Then I swallowed hard before answering.
“Yes,” I said, doing my best to hide the emotion.
“Lisa isn’t really my girlfriend,” he blurted out. For the first time since I had known Alex, he looked uncomfortable. Or was it frustration? I couldn’t tell.
“What?” I exclaimed, completely astounded.
“Never has been,” he confirmed just as I started to doubt the credibility of my own ears.
What was he telling me? A small spark of hope ignited somewhere. But why would they pretend then? His reaction towards my deepest revelation wasn’t exactly positive. Maybe they’d pretended to keep the floozies away.
“Then... then why...?”
He didn’t give me a chance to finish my question.
“I’ll answer your question, but I have a few first. Why did you run away, after everything we’ve been through?”
Oh, this man was driving me crazy! I had just apologised to him about my feelings and he didn’t even bother to accept it. Instead he’d put his interrogation clothes on. No, I was certain, there wasn’t weren’t any hope left, not even with Lisa out of the picture. He didn’t feel the same way about me.
“Alex, that is my business and mine alone,” I answered, closed shut, very hurt and sorry for myself.
“Is it? Is it really your business?” he asked, sounding a little irritated himself.
“Yes, it is,” I answered heatedly, pain encouraging me and growing into anger. “It is my business alone. I didn’t endanger Earth or any of you in any way. I belong to me, you know? For the first time in my life, I am old enough to make decisions for myself, to try things and to make mistakes and learn from them. Yes, I have misjudged a few characters in the process. But still, those were my risks to take. You do not own me, Alex. And by the way, I don’t give a damn about your supposed responsibilities,” I yelled at the end. “I will not have you giving your life to keep me from doing something against my beliefs. If I try to kill Duncan on my own, it’s my life that I’m risking. Not Earth’s or anyone else’s, mine,” I said a little calmer this time.
“But what about the people that care about you, Valerie? Don’t you think it would hurt them if something happens to you? Your mother, your father, your friends?” he paused. “Me?”
“Well, I’m sorry for that,” I answered, cornered.
“Valerie,” he held his hand towards me, grabbed my arm and pulled me closer. Then he put both his arms around me and looked intently down on me.
I was too hopeful to move and too afraid to stay. But against my will, my hopes were rising again. I sucked in my breath and held it.
“Val, Lisa pretended to be my girlfriend to explain my frequent visits to your dorm.”
My heart pounded so hard that I was afraid to miss what he was about to say.
“Valerie, I have a huge confession to make. The first time that I saw you...,” he closed his eyes as if thinking back. “Your dad didn’t want you to see me, but I did. You were on your way to a hockey match; one of your friends came to pick you up that Saturday morning. We came back from a meeting and your dad thought that you had left already. I hid in the car and peeked out the window and I saw you there, not that far from me. I have to be honest, I knew you already - your dad bragged a lot about you. But when I saw you Valerie, I fell for you, right there and then.”
He looked at me with fire in his eyes. “I’ve followed you ever since, using the sunlight, watching at a distance, waiting. I’ve been watching you since that day, every single day, except for rainy days.”
This time, there was no holding back the tears. They flowed freely over my eyelids and floated in perfect little spheres in front of me. Alex cared for me as well! I didn’t deserve this, this perfect life.
But then his expression darkened, the fire in his eyes grew cool.
“But first,” he said heavily, “I have to warn you. You need to know the negatives of our being together. We will need always to keep this discreet. I never expected to be anything more than your protector and I was glad to have the opportunity to be your friend. I vowed never to tell you how I feel because I wanted to spare you this... this yoke.” Alex was stuttering, clearly frustrated.
I didn’t feel nervous about what he was about to say. As long as Alex was with me, I’d have the courage to face anything. Nothing else mattered anymore.
“There is no easy way to put this. Traditionally, ambassadors are sorted into social ranks. See it as the aristocracy against the lower class. I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but galaxies and clouds are of highest rank, followed by stars and black holes, then planets, moons and asteroids; normal humans don’t count in the hierarchy.” He paused, looking at me searchingly. “Having a relationship across the line is risky. If we do have a relationship, and word gets too far out, we will have to face serious consequences. It may even mean exile. Why do you think Lisa never attends any meetings? Being the Ruler, I was the only ambassador in our galaxy that had access to the council, so I was in a position to hide things away and I opted not to enforce the rule. Now the new Ruler will have access to the council and decide.”
It didn’t sound like that big a deal, but it wasn’t very nice to be told that I was of the lowest social order! Alex was out of my league it seemed: it was like having a high school crush on someone way above your grade. But it didn’t bother me that much – I had just found my biggest crush ever. No, I smiled to myself, it wasn’t my biggest crush; the biggest love of my life, yes.
“But why?” I asked. Surely celestials and ambassadors were intelligent enough to respect all living beings equally? I was disappointed with the silly social bustle; I’d expected more of them.
“Believe it or not, but it’s actually to protect the lower orders - you know, from energy surges. We may exploit the distance advantage of your link should it ever be necessary.”
I frowned at Alex.
“Imagine it like this: the distance from Earth to the celestial body is like the size of a vehicle, say a small car. The energy of the celestial body is the size of the engine. A white star has an engine of a jet, a planet of a car, a moon maybe of a scooter.
Now say for instance a white star causes a far away moon to surge during an energy transfer, it would be like putting a jet engine into a Mini-Cooper. We need to always protect the lower orders and the social orders were born out of this.”
There was a long pause while Alex stared at me.
“Valerie Stanton, I’ll have you know that I’m very much in love with you and have been for a long time. So think about this, think again, and make sure of your feelings. Because if you agree to this, then I am here to stay. Do you still feel the same way?”
My beaming smile was a dead give-away. Alex pulled me closer to him, both his hands pressing firmly against my back. He bent over and kissed my forehead softly. I closed my eyes, concentrated on nothing but him. He moved down and briefly kissed the tip of my nose.
Then he kissed my l
ips, hard and passionately.
Right there in space, at our own Lagrange point, the entire universe was smiling on us. It felt safe knowing that they weren’t watching, that time stood still only for us.
Alex kissed me like I had never been kissed.
“We can’t stay too long,” he interrupted suddenly, “this is really draining on me. It takes a tremendous amount of energy to keep time still. I can’t hold it any longer.”
“We’ll have to practise more,” I joked, flushed from the kiss.
“I love you Valerie. I’m so happy to have found you,” he said, his hand against my jaw line, his lips in my hair.
“Me too, Alex. I love you too,” I smiled from ear to ear.
“Brace for impact, we’re going to fall now,” he warned.
I glanced at the stars again and it was an image that would stay with me forever. The sensation of falling came over me as suddenly as a thief in the night. Nothing more spectacular happened than a bright flash, a blur of everything around, and then we were back on Earth and falling.
It all happened so fast: we were in space one moment and maybe a split-second later we’d fallen. I felt as disorientated as before and stayed put on the ground, hands and knees burning from scraped skin.
Alex was quicker than me and helped me to sit up next to him, facing the sunrise. The strange events of a moment ago, travelling on a beam of light with Alex, made the first rays of the sun seem magical as it peeked over the mountains. It also made everything around seem magical, as if everything was holding its breath waiting for the sun to rise. In this light, Alex was even more magical than before; the pedestal he was on in my mind towering high above the clouds.
***
