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“Where were you?!” Roman’s questions started the moment I entered the kitchen the next morning, my eyes on the twins as they too cast worried looks my way.
I’d fallen asleep in the tub the night before, and had woken up freezing in the ice cold bath water long after everyone had gone to bed. I’d hoped that a little rest would help clear my head, but my dreams had consumed me, visions of a dying Jonas and the woods too vivid for me to get much sleep at all.
“I got lost in the woods… I went to look for Jezebel… I thought…”
“You did what!? Why? It’s hunting season Alana, you could have been killed!” Roman interrupted me, his fist slamming down on the kitchen table in frustration.
“I didn’t plan on getting lost. I just started walking. I thought maybe…” I paused as Roman stood from his chair now, his eyes running from my still damp head, down to the tips of my fingers.
“What’s in your hair? It looks…green almost… And it’s on your fingers too…”
“Cheap shampoo… I’ll have to wash it again…” I shrugged to help the lie flow more smoothly, curling my fingers into a fist so that he could no longer inspect the blue color that still tinged my nail beds.
“We can talk about it on the bus… You owe me a better explanation than that. In the woods…all day…and all night…” His eyes narrowed as he studied my face further, my eyes dropping before he could ask his next question.
“You ARE going to school today aren’t you…?”
“Get you coats… The bus will be here in five minutes,” I instructed the twins, ignoring the hardened expression Roman’s features had settled into.
“Fine, I’m staying here with you then…”
“No! I mean…no Roman…please. If we’re both out of school how would that look?” I corrected quickly, my plans for the day threatening to fizzle out before I’d even gotten started.
“This will be your third day missing. It already looks bad. The school will notify them you know… What aren’t you telling me Alana?” Roman asked, grabbing my wrist so that I had no choice but to step closer to him.
My lower lip quivered as he lifted my chin with his index finger so that I had no choice but to look directly at him. There was genuine concern in his dark brown eyes, his face soft again as he waited for me to tell him something other than what I’d just said. I couldn’t stop the tears that rolled down my cheeks, my shoulders heavy from the events of the last twenty-four hours. I wanted him to know. I wanted even more for him to go back with me, but I knew he would never understand. I’d made a promise that I intended to keep, and so I lied again, pulling from his hold before he could embrace me fully.
“I want to go visit my parents’ grave today. I know I just went…” I rushed on, turning to help Shelly into the coat she handed me. “…But once Martin & Jo are back, I might not get to go again for a while. I’ve never had company with me… I…they…”
My voice broke as the lie rolled free, shame twisting my gut as more tears fell. I shouldn’t be using my dead parents as an excuse. If they could have heard me…
“I understand… I guess…” Roman nodded slowly, confusion etched across his partially covered brow, but his head nodding in understanding. “Lana…” He touched my shoulder now, his words soft as he leaned close enough so the twins couldn’t hear. “You don’t have to do this alone forever. I’m always going to be here for you. I know it hurts…but if you ever need someone…”
I nodded as his words trailed off, knowing that it was the most sincere anyone had ever been to me since my parents’ death. There was no time for me to respond. Like clockwork the sound of our bus’s squealing brakes reached us in the kitchen, signaling that it was nearing the bottom of the hill and would be at our driveway any moment.
I wanted to push the wide lick of his stick straight, chocolate brown hair away from his eyes and tell him not to worry, but he’d already unconsciously tossed it aside as he backed away from me, his face full of unasked questions.
“Ranger…?” I thought to mention as Roman reluctantly headed for the door after the twins.
I’d assumed that Roman had kept him in his room the night before, but thinking about it now, I hadn’t heard him cry all morning.
“Already gone. He spent the night with the babysitter. She called to say he was running a fever, and she wouldn’t mind keeping him so that you could get your homework done.”
I watched as he shrugged, more guilt piling on with the fact that I hadn’t been here to take care of the baby.
“We’ll talk tonight… I promise…” I murmured softly as the door clicked shut behind him.
I had all day to think of what I would say to him later, but I only had eight hours to locate the keys to the four-wheeler, find my way back to Jonas, bring him back here and hide him before the bus brought them back home. The list continued to grow in my head as I made a mental note of supplies I wanted to try and find in Martin Pernickle’s shed. I only hoped that Jonas was still alive.
Smitten: Part I-Zerrin Page 3
