by Lucy Monroe
"Rock, you were an incredible son, who cared about everyone in his family. You're a larger than life man." There was a reason she called him Superman.
"But you want to leave me."
Oh, crap. She couldn't let herself fall into the abyss of emotion those words elicited. She sighed. "Listen, Rock, I'm sure I'll be just as safe as I need to be at the Lodge." Her heart couldn't handle living in this man's house and knowing they had no future.
It definitely wouldn't survive another bout of hope and love dashed into smithereens beneath his mistrust.
For the second time that day, Rock gave her a look she'd never received from him. All at once, he was all cold, corporate shark, no compromise in his sherry gaze. "You agreed to stay here for the duration of the filming."
"That was when we were sharing a bed. There's no reason for me to stay here now." She wasn't having sex with a man who thought so little of her, no matter how he claimed that had been a mistake.
The only mistake had been him giving voice to thoughts he now realized he should have kept hidden if he wanted to keep her in his bed until she left Alaska.
Her heart told her she was being too cynical, that Rock was genuinely sorry. But she'd given that organ enough leeway in the past weeks. Right now, her brain was in control and her brain knew that her soul had been wounded enough by this man.
She should have listened when he said all they had was sex, and temporary at that.
"I don't agree," he answered implacably.
She wanted to stand up and move away from him but doing so would press her body against his and that was not going to happen. "Oh, come on, Rock."
"If you want to keep filming, you'll stay."
"You can't do that." Sex, no matter how good, wasn't worth the fight he'd have on his hands if he followed through on that threat.
"You'd be surprised what I can and will do."
Maybe she shouldn't be though. A man didn't get where he was and build the life he had for his siblings when he had still been a child himself without having a strength of purpose that outdid normal mortals.
She brought up a knee, crossing her arms over and creating a barrier between them. "You're being ridiculous. I'm sure Benji misunderstood whatever was said in the holding cell."
"He's not the one that overheard it and the state police detective who got the information from his informant didn't have any doubts about what was said."
"No." She shook her head. "There is absolutely no reason for someone to come after me." He had to believe her.
"Not even your family? Maybe your parents are done waiting for you to fall back in line."
"No. They wouldn't. They don't think…" But maybe they did. The last time she'd talked to her sister, Alicia had said their parents had made comments about that very thing.
That they might need to take things in hand. Ten years following a wild hare was long enough.
"I can see from the look on your face, you aren't even sure of that yourself."
"They're not going to fly to Alaska and hire some petty criminals to harass me." That wasn't her parents' style.
"Maybe. Maybe not. Someone hired Amos and Virgil."
"According to some criminal who is probably getting a deal for information, that may, or may not, be true."
"You don't think our detectives can tell the difference between bogus and good intel?" Rock asked, sounding offended. "You think that just because they're not big city cops, they're not good at their jobs."
"That's not the point."
"That's exactly the point. Either you trust our law enforcement, or you don't."
"You're being really frustrating right now."
"Because I'm concerned about your safety?" he asked with patent disbelief.
Like he couldn't imagine her not appreciating his concern on her behalf.
But she was a big girl and she'd been entirely on her own for a very long time. "I'm an adult. I can watch out for myself."
He surged to his feet, stepping back, spinning away from her like he had to get a handle on his emotions. Then he turned back. "Look, hot stuff, we have a deal. And backing out has consequences."
Oh, she wanted to scream. "I never thought you meant that."
"You agreed to stay here."
"You can't want me to." What was the point?
"You are wrong. I very much want you to."
"You're being a bully."
"For expecting you to keep your word?" he asked, clearly unimpressed with her reasoning.
"You know I didn't believe you were letting us film here in exchange for me sharing your bed."
"Be that as it may, you agreed to stay here during the duration of the filming."
"Why does it matter to you?"
"I told you why."
"Because you're worried about my safety." That wasn't a bad thing, no matter how her independent nature chafed against it.
"Among other things."
"Name them."
"I already did."
"Tell me again." Maybe she'd believe him this time.
Probably not, but maybe.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
"Because we have something bigger than sex, something more than either of us has ever had with someone else."
"You don't know that." She'd been in a relationship before.
The fact it had ended with her being betrayed and learning once again she could only rely on herself was beside the point.
Rock just looked at her, his expression calling her on her honesty.
She stood up too, moving to the window and looking out at the beautiful landscape. Leaving here was going to be hard, for so many reasons. "Fine. I'll stay here, but I'm not having sex with you, Rock. That is over."
"Let's take one thing at a time, beauty."
She turned her head to look at him, his tone implying things that scared the heck out of her heart. The look he gave her indicated he wasn't convinced about the no sex rule.
He'd learn she could be stubborn too. When her own emotional survival was at stake, she could be positively intransigent. "Yes, let's. Look, I need to call Ms. Morganstein."
Rock nodded. "What are you going to tell her?"
"That you refused to invest. What else?"
"I never actually said no."
No, he'd just made her feel like she'd committed a grave sin by asking. "Do you need to say it to feel better?"
"I need to spend some time looking at all the details before I decide."
"Are you kidding me?" she demanded, in no mood for games.
"I never joke about money."
Now, that she could believe. "Look, you and I both know you're not going to invest. There's no point getting their hopes up." Art and Ms. Morganstein needed to be looking at other financing alternatives.
The sooner, the better.
"Carey pointed out how likely it is that the movie will not only break even, but make a substantial profit." Rock's mouth twisted with something like remorse, like maybe he realized he should have listened to Deborah to begin with. "I'd need to see the actual numbers, projections, project budget and marketing plan before I could decide, but I'm not saying no out of hand."
Knowing he'd listened to his brother when he'd been so dismissive and hurtful, with her, caused another slashing wound across Deborah's heart. She didn't care if that was a professional, or even rational response. Her feelings were hers and she'd spent years denying the pain of her family's rejection. She just didn't have that in her anymore.
At least not where Rock was concerned.
"I'm glad you were able to see past your prejudices to listen to your brother anyway," she offered with honesty, if some pain as well.
With a sigh, Rock moved to stand beside her, laying his hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry I hurt you."
She shrugged, not prepared to accept his apology and honest enough to admit that to herself. She was still hurting too much. "It's not your fault you didn't feel what I did."
"Who says I didn't?"
"You did." If nothing else, that message had come through loud and clear.
He rubbed up and down her arms. "I felt used," he admitted, his tone not cold anymore, but mirroring the hurt she couldn't deny he'd felt as well. "I didn't like it."
And he'd lashed out in his pain. For the first time, she realized her heart wasn't the only one wounded by their latest discussion. Though maybe not his heart so much as his pride. Either way, Rock had been wounded.
She turned to face him, needing to look into his eyes when she said what needed saying. "I haven't used you in any way." He would either believe her, or he wouldn't, but it needed to be said. "And I had no desire to do so when I asked you about investing."
His eyes scanned her face and then he sighed. "I believe you."
"Honestly, if you weren't a venture capitalist, I don't think I would have asked you to invest, no matter how rich you are."
He sighed, his expression saying he was reorganizing some things in his mind. "You sure you belong on the business side of things?"
"I thought I did, but I'm not so sure now," she admitted. She'd hated the idea of using the people in her life to fund the project, no matter how much she believed in it.
He squeezed her shoulders. "You're a strong woman, Deborah, but you don't have that instinct that allows you to leverage any relationship to make your business work."
"You didn't think that back in your office."
"I did think it. That's why you asking for the money was such a shock."
"But it's what you do," she said painfully, not understanding how he couldn't see that.
"It is. But that's not why I'm going to seriously consider an investment in a project I would reject out of hand if anyone else had asked me."
Anyone but his brother, he meant. Because he sure hadn't been willing to consider it when she'd brought it up.
Deborah's phone rang, the ringtone telling her it was either Art or Ms. Morganstein. Grateful for the interruption, she pulled away from him and went to get the phone from where she'd set it on her nightstand. "That'll be one of them. What do you want me to tell them?"
"Why don't you let me talk to them?"
She wasn't going to argue. Weak, it might be, she'd rather Rock dealt with the suits about his own willingness, or lack thereof, to invest.
Swiping to connect, Deborah gave a short greeting to Ms. Morganstein before telling her she was going to pass the phone over.
Rock told the other woman what information he needed in order to make his decision about whether to put money into the project, or not. His face took on a stony expression and Deborah guessed Ms. Morganstein was trying to push for some kind of commitment before providing anything.
Rock's words confirmed her guess. "No, I will not tell you what ballpark I'm considering for the investment without that information." He listened for a second, his lips tightening. "A soft copy would be fine, but I expect hard copies of all contracts involved before I make a final decision."
Rock listened again, his silence growing, his expression not softening one iota. Finally, he said, "Yes, I'm still here. Are you finished trying to talk around my requirements?" Ms. Morganstein said something else.
Rock walked back over to Deborah, touching her face gently before speaking again. "Let's be very clear, Elaine, your current situation is neither my fault, nor is it my responsibility. I have been more than generous with this production." Ms. Morganstein spoke again.
Rock sighed, looking directly into Deborah's eyes when he answered. "No, I will not give a week, but I will agree to a two-day extension to filming while I look over the information and you seek investors elsewhere. And I do not think it is the least I can do. In fact, I think if you want me on this project, you had better learn to show some respect and appreciation for what I've given already."
His scowl turned dark as he listened to Ms. Morganstein. "Deborah is an adult, as is my brother. Neither needs this movie as impetus to have whatever relationship they plan to have with me in the future." His entire body went rigid with obvious fury and Deborah couldn't help herself. She laid one hand on his chest, right over his heart while grabbing for the phone.
He let her have it without issue.
"Ms. Morganstein?"
"Deborah? That man is terribly arrogant."
Seriously? Said the woman arrogant enough to tell Rock, who hadn't wanted them filming on his property in the first place, that the least he could do was to extend access for a week.
Deborah took hold of her irritation. "You do realize you are asking him for money?"
"I do not think there is anything wrong with pointing out that if he refuses to invest, he's probably going to do irreparable harm to his relationship with his brother, not to mention his access to your bed."
Deborah felt cold chills run all down her back. "Excuse me, but not only are you wrong on both counts, I think making a statement like that is a lot more likely to turn Rock right off from even considering this investment."
"Why should it? He'll make a lot of money on this movie."
"Why don't you concentrate on getting the documentation that will convince him of that?" Deborah asked, rather than saying the ugly words that really wanted to come out of her mouth.
It was bad enough Rock had thought that of her, she didn't need her executive producer confirming suspicions he'd just given up.
"Don't forget who you're talking to, Deborah," Ms. Morganstein said coldly.
"I haven't forgotten, but maybe you have. I am a lead actor on your project with production and editorial credit. You are not my pimp."
Ms. Morganstein gasped. "That's entirely uncalled for—"
"My personal life is my own," Deborah went on, interrupting the other woman. "It doesn't have a darn thing to do with the movie. You've said you understood that."
"Well, of course I do, but it is entirely natural for me to assume that you would have issue with a lover who didn't support your career."
"On the contrary. I trust myself to make my own way and hope I never turn into one of those women who expects a man to make her hopes and dreams come true."
Ms. Morganstein was silent for several seconds. Then finally, "Just how committed are you to this project, Ms. Banes?"
"As committed as I ever was, but I have never put my body on the line to get ahead." No matter how, or when, she'd been encouraged to do so. "And I'm not going to start now."
"Well, naturally not!" Ms. Morganstein's tone was full-on scandalized.
Just what the heck did she think she'd been trying to push Deborah into doing?
Tired of the whole mess, Deborah said, "It sound like you've got stuff to do. I'll let you go."
"You do realize we expect you to help Rock interpret the projections and other things we send him. He's not in the industry, after all."
Try to strong-arm him into their point-of-view more like. Deborah wasn't going there.
"Rock won't need any help, but I will be on hand to answer whatever questions he might have." He sure wasn't okay with her going anywhere else.
"That will have to be good enough, I suppose."
"I suppose it will." Deborah was done playing nice.
They ended the call and she turned to Rock who looked even angrier than he had when he'd been talking to Ms. Morganstein.
"Whatever has that look on your face, could you save it?" Deborah asked, truly done with this whole topic and what it had cost her already.
"She expected you to withhold sex in exchange for getting me to invest in the movie." And apparently, he no longer thought that was the way Deborah was leaning. "She told me my brother would never forgive me if I didn't. That his career was on the line."
"She's under a lot of pressure." And not thinking straight if Ms. Morganstein thought she could threaten a man like Rock into doing what she wanted.
"That's no excuse."
"No, it's not. But, Rock, I think being told I should do that was a little more demoralizing."
"Why the
hell do you think I'm so pissed?"
Oh. "Because she said it to me?" Deborah hadn't considered that possibility.
"You are not a whore!"
"No, really, I'm not. I don't think she believes I am one either. She just couldn't imagine not cutting off a relationship with a lover who didn't offer wholesale support of what she does."
"That's bullshit."
"You think?"
"I do." He got a strange look on his face. "Don't you?"
"Oh, yes. My career is my own. It's not anyone else's responsibility."
"You said you didn't want to be one of those women."
"My sister has a master's degree in chemistry. She's really smart, but after she got married, both her husband and my parents expected her to quit her job in the research laboratory. She wasn't a doctor, or anything important in their eyes, so she could stay home and take care of the children, his home, his schedule. Everything they have, he provides."
"If it makes her happy."
"Maybe it does. I don't know. I do know she's told me more than once how much she misses her job, how much she wishes she was back in the lab."
"Some women, and men, like being the at home parent."
"Yes. And honestly? Alicia loves being a mom. But what happens when the kids grow up?"
"Midlife crisis?"
Deborah's laugh was harsh, even to her own ears. "Yeah, maybe. It's just it should have been her decision. Not her husband's. Not my parents."
"Agreed."
"But they've got her convinced she needs him to make her dreams come true. As long as she's happy, content, that's great. I worry about her future, but at least I understand it's not my decision."
"You'd never be happy subsuming your own goals for someone else."
"No. And honestly? I don't want anyone else taking credit for my successes either." It was a double-edged sword she'd never be willing to be pilloried on.
"You're very independent."
"It's the only way I know how to be." She'd spent too long on her own, with no back up, no supportive family, or even loyal friends, she'd learned one time too many, to be any other way.
He smiled, his sherry eyes warm. "I like it."
He would. He'd raised both Carey and Marilyn to be independent in their thoughts and actions. "Your sister is really independent too, but she knows she's got a safety net if she fails. I spent too long without it to trust in one now."
