“Take your time.” He lifted his chin. “Is there a spare room down the hall I could use to give you some privacy?”
“There’s a guest bedroom at the end with a computer.”
“Perfect.” He moved away, and I got lost watching him move.
“Are you still there?” Olivia asked.
“Yes, I’m sorry.” My brow creased as Max entered the bedroom and clicked the lock after he closed the door. Was it my privacy he was protecting, or his own?
“So, Diesel.”
I wanted to say no comment, but that wasn’t why I paid her to be my agent.
“He irritates me and confuses me at the same time.” I dropped my purse on the entryway table, moved to the sectional, and collapsed onto the cushions. “He . . . we . . . there’s some chemistry. He made a pass at me. I turned him down. Max showed up. Now that he’s back, we’re going to try to work things out between us.”
“An eventful eighteenth birthday. Happy birthday, by the way.”
“Thank you.”
“You need to get a good night’s sleep tonight.”
“I hope to.” I was exhausted. I hadn’t slept well since Max left.
“I’ll come over in the morning. Go over your schedule while you get ready.”
“All right.” Silencing a yawn, I put my phone on speaker and set it on the coffee table. When I typed Diesel’s name in the Google search engine, my jaw unhinged at the number of photos—the number of photos of him with different women, that is.
“I had arranged security. Will Maximillian be guarding you instead?”
“I’m not sure yet. Can I let you know tomorrow?”
“Yes. One last thing before I let you go.”
I tuned her out as Diesel’s Wikipedia page loaded. He’d been married before? Married young. To a high school sweetheart. And . . .
“Hollie, are you listening?”
Diesel had lost a son. His infant son.
“What?” I asked. My heart twisted for the things I’d said to Diesel, not knowing his past. “I’m sorry. I missed what you said.”
“Samuel will be at the premiere.”
“Oh no.”
“It’s unlikely you’ll have to exchange words with him, but just in case, we’ll run through some scenarios tomorrow.”
“All right.” I worried about that possibility, but I was worried about losing Max more.
“Good night, dear.”
“Good night.”
I glanced down the hall after I ended the call. I could just make out the murmur of Max’s voice. He was talking to someone. I sighed, kicked off my flip-flops, and settled back into the cushions.
Given the eventful day I’d had, I wasn’t going to be able to sleep anytime soon.
• • •
The water was rushing in. I’d wandered too close to the shore, and my feet were sinking in the wet sand. I tried to pull them out, but I was stuck.
A scream pierced the air. “Hollie! help!”
“Fanny!” I cried. The wind ripped the tears from my eyes as I turned my head to scan the turbulent surf for her.
“No!” I shouted, seeing a patch of red in the water, and watched helplessly as it disappeared beneath a crashing wave. “No!”
I tried again to free myself but couldn’t. My arms were pinned to my sides, my rain-drenched hair tangled around my body.
“Hollie,” a deep voice rumbled from the darkness of the stormy night. “Shhh, shug. It’s okay. Wake up. You’re having a bad dream.”
I cracked open my eyes to see his worried face.
“Max, oh, Max.” I started to tremble. “It was awful. Fanny was drowning. I could see her in the ocean, going under the waves. She called for me, but I was stuck in the sand and couldn’t get to her.”
“A nightmare. Probably because of the argument you had with your sister earlier. It wasn’t real.” His usual tranquil eyes were as stormy as the sea had been in my dream.
“It felt real.”
“I know it did. I can tell you’re shaking.” He ran a comforting hand up and down my back. “I’m sorry you waited so long. Trying to sleep on the couch probably didn’t help things much.”
Max wrapped his arms around me, and I realized that it hadn’t been my hair but his embrace that I’d incorporated into my dream.
“Let’s get you to bed.”
Heat licked my body as he lifted me from the couch. The idea of him and me in my bed with my age no longer a deterrent made my imagination go haywire.
Something of what I thought must have showed in my face, or maybe it was the way my arms were draped around his neck as he carried me. Almost of their own accord, my fingers skimmed over his warm, smooth skin and upward into the satin of his hair.
“Hollie, don’t.”
At the bed, he removed my hands and set me down. I slid down his body, unable to stop the inevitable comparison. The lean, latent strength of Diesel’s body seemed inexplicably more intimidating than the bulging contours of the former soldier.
“Why not?” I searched Max’s eyes even as I registered on a cellular level the length and heat of his erection against me.
“Because of the issues unresolved between us. Because you’re upset about your sister.”
“I am upset, but she’ll be okay.” She was as safe as my being out of her life could make her.
I slipped my hands free of his loosening grip. Dipping my gaze, I placed my palms on his abdomen. He’d taken his shirt off while he was in the back room. His muscles tightened as I skimmed my fingers up and over the ridges of his abs, not stopping until I reached his chest.
I lifted my gaze. “Do you want me to beg for you to have sex with me?”
“Hell, no.” Max captured my hands, separating and lifting them to place them on his jaw.
“Then what is it?” I pressed my palms deeper into his stubble-roughened skin while staring deeply into his eyes.
“I want to be worthy of that look in your eyes, but I’m not.”
My eyes narrowed. “Shouldn’t I be the one to make that determination?”
“Yes, of course.” His voice was low and husky. It scraped more awareness along nerve endings already registering the tantalizing differences between his body and mine.
“You haven’t even kissed me. Don’t you want to kiss me?” I blinked back the sting of tears.
“I want to. But I know if I do that, I won’t be able to stop.” His fingers flexed over mine. He was going to remove them.
“I don’t want you to stop.” I slid my hands over his ears into his hair.
“You don’t know who I am. It wouldn’t be right.”
“I know you’re strong, yet gentle with me.” I arched my body into his, reveling in the way his cock hardened against me. “You think you should stay away from me, but yet here you are. Why stop when this is something we both want?”
My hands at his nape, he groaned and yielded as I tugged his face down to mine.
Our first kiss was a gentle meeting of our mouths, a soft brush of his firm lips to mine. At first. But it quickly transformed into something else.
“Open, baby.”
He breathed against my mouth, his large hands skimming my cheeks, his fingers tangling urgently in my hair, tugging on the strands to pull my head back and coax my lips to part. His wet tongue pierced the seam I gave him.
I shivered as his tongue rubbed against mine. Once. Twice. I felt it between my legs, each stroke. The third time his tongue twined with mine, my knees buckled.
Bending me backward over his arm, he broke the kiss only to rain hot kisses along my cheek, then the side of my neck.
“Max, yes.” I exhaled shakily, turning my head to give him better access.
“You taste like strawberry taffy, shug.” He traced the tendon along my neck. A slow, warm glide of his tongue that made more than just my skin wet.
“That feels so good.” I moaned. “Please.”
My hands on his shoulders, I dug my fingers into his
tense muscles, and his heated eyes met mine. I didn’t know what to ask for, only that I wanted more. More of him and everything he had to give.
Luckily, I didn’t need to articulate my desires. He knew. Reaching behind my neck, he untied the bow and peeled away the halter top of my dress, exposing my breasts. My nipples immediately tightened in the cool air.
“Phenomenal,” he said, lowering his head.
His heated breath bathed my skin, right before his tongue did. He licked a wet path across my breasts from one aching nipple to the other. An arrow of heat as sure as the trajectory of his mouth shot straight to my core. Tingling with need already, I began to shake. It was too much pleasure, too fast, after all the denial.
“Max.” I moaned his name.
His expression stark with desire of his own, he grabbed me by the waist, lifted me, and laid me out on the bed. I came up on my elbows as he gathered the hem of my sundress and yanked it up. Air rushed over me. His gaze hot, his hands hotter, he skimmed them up my legs. Grasping the top of my nude panties, his palm brushed my pussy.
I hissed from the sensation, and his eyes darkened as he ripped the satin off. I throbbed while he stared at me.
“Beautiful. So beautiful, baby.” Tossing my panties aside, he unbuttoned his fly and removed his jeans and then his boxer briefs as I watched. Condom in hand, he tore the packet open and rolled it on his impressive length.
He was so big. My desire cooling, a sudden frisson of fear trickled down my spine as he put a knee to the bed, gripped my thighs, and separated them.
“Max.” My hands lifted to his shoulders, not to draw him closer but to hold him at bay.
I licked my dry lips, trying to figure out how to tell him to slow down, not to stop, but his head had already lowered. His lips crushed mine. He fed me his need and swallowed my protest.
My dress bunched at my waist, his body covered me. Pleasure resurfaced with each swipe of his plunging tongue. His hard cock nudged at my entrance, then he surged his significant length inside. I felt an immediate burning, ripping pain, and bucked and cried out. He misinterpreted my movements and the rake of my nails as urgency.
“Baby. Oh, baby. Yes. You’re so good. So tight.”
He thrust deeper. Withdrew, thrust inside, and repeated the action again and again, then groaned and stiffened. My eyes glassy from the discomfort, I watched Max find his release. All that compelling male hunger unleashed because of me was an incredible sight. He buried his face in my neck afterward, his breath hot on my skin.
When he lifted his head a few moments later, it was to apologize. “You didn’t come, did you? I’m sorry.” He slid out. “You’re so sexy. I went too fast . . .” He trailed off as I closed my legs and scooted away from him.
It hurt.
“You’re a virgin.” His expression incredulous, he glanced back at forth between my red-stained thighs and the blood on his cock.
“I’m so sorry.” Max returned from the bathroom with a towel around his trim waist and a wet washcloth in his hands. Regret was splashed all over his handsome face.
“I should have told you up front.” Nude since I’d tossed the ruined sundress aside, I dropped my chin to my knees, letting my limbs shield my nakedness and my hair curtain my hurt.
The physical pain had already faded. It was the embarrassment that would linger, and his expression after discovering my innocence. Disappointment wasn’t the emotion I wanted Max or any man to wear after having sex with me.
“Maybe you should have mentioned it,” he said softly. Coming closer, he sank down on the bed beside me. Strands of gold shimmered across his brow as he glanced down at me. “Will you let me clean you up?”
“All right,” I said. What else could I do? Heat warmed my cheeks as he carefully spread my legs apart.
“You’re perfection, so delicately formed and insanely hot with all your amazing curves. You’re even sexier that I imagined,” he said as he worked. “And I imagined you naked a lot.” He lifted his gaze, and his eyes were that dark sapphire they’d been before he’d closed them and slid inside me.
“Thank you,” I whispered, his compliment helping a lot.
He dabbed gently at the splotches of red on my pale skin.
Something stirred within me as he tenderly cared for me. It started as a tingling at my scalp. But while he worked on my legs, it transformed into an insistent throbbing that increased as he smoothed the cloth over my waxed pussy.
“Being inside you was amazing.” He gently swiped the rough cloth across my sensitive lower lips, his warm fingers grazing my clit.
A swift bolt of heat swept through me, and I sucked in a sharp breath.
His eyes lifted. “Knowing I’m the only man who’s ever had that privilege makes me feel like a god.”
Hope burst free from the ball of hurt I’d compressed it into.
“A lesser one, barely worthy.”
With Max’s gaze on mine, I opened to him like a flower to the warmth of the sun. His praise, his worshipful adoration, it was exactly what I wanted. What I needed.
I shivered as he slowly circled my clit with his purposeful thumb.
“Lean back.” His low voice stirred my desire. “That’s it. Open your legs wider.” He trailed the fingers of his other hand along the smooth creamy skin of my inner thigh. “You’re so beautiful. So sweet, shug. So wet.”
His eyes blazing with heat, he shifted closer. I felt his possessive glance like a caress as he raked it over me.
“I want to taste you. But first, I want to see my sexy siren come.” He grazed the pad of his thumb over the slippery surface of me.
My entire body vibrated, but it was my swollen clit that was the focus of a rising tide of need. Gripping the sheets in my hands, I lifted my hips, straining for more of his touch. More of his praise. More of everything he could give me.
“Let it go, baby.” He stared deep into my eyes. “While I watch you. While I touch you.” He swiped across the surface of me oh-so-lightly, but that perfect touch made my entire body shimmer.
“Max, I can’t.” It was too much. Too intimate. Shaking with need, I gripped the sheet tighter.
“You can. Give it to me.” Holding me captive with his gaze, he provided just the right amount of pressure on my clit with his thumb as I lifted my hips.
A bolt of hot pleasure shot straight through me, and I shattered, chanting his name.
“You’re crying. Don’t cry.” Max gathered me close, and I folded myself into him, reveling in his strength and basking in the warm afterglow of his affection.
“Thank you.” I tucked my head into his chest and pressed a kiss to his skin. He smelled like my strawberry bath gel and his own unique scent.
“Don’t thank me for giving you an orgasm. The pleasure was all mine, shug.”
“But you didn’t . . . I mean, before you did, but not this time.” I dropped my chin to my chest.
“Hey.” Sliding his fingers under my chin, he gently lifted my head and scanned my gaze. “You truly are an innocent.”
“Define innocence.” I felt my cheeks flame.
“Have you fooled around with anyone? Unclothed?” Max arched both his golden brows.
“Sure, I have. I just never went all the way.” Never wanted to until I met him.
“Unbelievable.”
“Just because I never actually did the deed doesn’t mean I’m totally inexperienced. I know stuff.” I lifted my chin, freeing myself from his careful grip.
“I’m sure you do.” Those vertical grooves on either side of his sexy lips appeared.
“Why is that amusing?”
“You live in Hollywood. The movies you do. The onscreen chemistry you’ve had with your male costars. The photos of you with them on the internet. It really is all just one big glitzy made-up fantasy.”
“Yes, you’ve seen me in the morning with no makeup. I’m just a simple girl without my entourage to glam me up and a camera to catch my most seductive angles.” My heart sank. He wanted t
he myth. He was disappointed in the reality.
In me.
“You looking all rosy, rested, and rumpled when you roll out of bed wearing those ridiculously sexy pajamas?” The grooves in his lean cheeks smoothed. “That girl is way better than any fantasy. You’re mine like that. Mine naked. Mine right now in this bed.”
My inner self preened. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. Pictures might tell a story without any words being spoken, but only if the person viewing them looks beyond what the captions tell them to believe.”
“It’s pretend outside of the two of us.” It was a statement, but the way he said it made it almost seem like a question.
“You and me inside the frame.” I made brackets with my first fingers and thumbs and pretended to snap a selfie with the two of us within it.
“God, I wish that could be true.” His arms suddenly tightened around me.
In New York, Max had reassured me. Now I felt like I needed to reassure him. What had changed?
“Why can’t it be?”
“A lot of reasons.” His eyes squeezed shut.
My stomach swirled with unease. When he reopened his eyes, they weren’t clear skies. They were northern blizzard blue.
“Reasons that change the way you feel about me?” I whispered unsteadily with chill bumps rising on my skin. I no longer felt warm, even though he still held me.
“Nothing will ever change the way I feel about you.” His eyes flared, and the heat of the sureness of his words blanketed the chill.
“Then those reasons don’t matter.” I injected my tone with certainty.
“I wish it could be that simple.”
“Love shouldn’t be complex,” I said, yet felt him become very still around me.
Stupid, innocent girl. It’s too soon to make a declaration about love after having sex for the first time. Are you trying to keep him or scare him away?
“Let me up.” I pressed my hands into Max’s chest, ignoring the pleasurable sensations that pricked my nerve endings from touching him. His skin was smooth and warm, the planes of muscle hard. It was like touching body armor that had been heated by the sun.
High Tide Page 18
