Head pounding and eyes burning I rode into the Brotherhood compound after midnight. Thorn hadn’t said what the situation was, but I needed a job, something to forget the shit slicing me up.
I walked inside and found Thorn at the bar with Jericho and Rebel. What the fuck were those two doing here after midnight? They had women at home. I know if I had Glory as mine, I sure as fuck wouldn’t be here when I could be with her.
“You made good time.” Thorn nodded for me to sit. Jericho held up a beer.
When I inclined my head, he stood and grabbed one out of ice on the other side of the bar, then slid it down to where I sat.
“You’ve done good in Vegas,” Jericho said. “Job looks done to me. The Triad took up the slack. You smoothed over the few rough spots with the Renegades.” He sipped his beer. “Glad they got a piece of the action.”
“Nice that the Remington is under new, legitimate management.” Thorn grinned. “How’d you arrange that?”
“I put word out that the 14K didn’t want any competition. Eagle helped me spread rumors in the Vegas underworld. And none of the smaller mob groups wanted to share DeLuca’s fate. The Remington never had enough to attract the big family.” Vegas operated like any ecosystem with small predators living in fear of the alpha predators. As long as the 14K Triad laundered the money, the alpha group had no need for a small-time casino.
“Smart move.” Jericho lifted his beer in toast. “We need that kind of leadership at home.” He grinned at me. “Ready to take on that challenge? Rebel needs you. We need you.”
Fuck. That was the last thing I needed. While I’d been in Vegas, the club hadn’t been real. But when I talked to Thorn or saw Eagle, I’d be fucked-up for days with a foul mood and a need to escape. It’s why I’d stopped returning Thorn’s calls. It’s why I’d cleaned up the Vegas mess so quick—I hadn’t wanted to deal with my club.
“Not many brothers would do what you did for the club. It’s time for you received your reward.” Dare nodded to me. “We have two open spots in our leadership team. We want you to take one. We are creating a new VP position—I’ve got too much shit to do.”
“This position would deal with logistics, making sure we have the shit we need, figuring out how to grow the club into new businesses, that kind of gig.” Jericho met my gaze. “Right up your alley.”
“Or you can go back to the bounty business. Rebel needs a number two who handles Texas businesses. You’d be over like fifteen bail bonds operations,” Thorn offered. “Rebel would be here but he and Elle are closing on a new business in Amarillo. Rebel is going to stay here and manage the biker component and Elle is operating the company on a large scale. We have forty bail bonds locations now.”
“What about JoJo?” That brother was the guy they needed.
“He’s operating five locations in OKC, but he doesn’t want more.” Jericho frowned. “Why don’t you know that?”
I didn’t answer. I hadn’t talked to my best friend since I’d left Barden. I couldn’t tell him what was eating at me because I didn’t want to burden him with it all. “I’m not really leadership—”
“Bullshit,” Dare growled.
“I’ll email you some stuff on both roles—take a few days and decide which you want. I’ll announce it this Sunday at church.” Jericho stood and moved down to me. “Be good to have you back here.” He smacked me on the back.
I had three days to decide which shit job to take. Hell, anyone else in the club would be glad to be promoted, but it was a death sentence to me. Jericho and Dare left before I figured out what to say. How did you turn down a leadership role?
Already I felt wrong being here. The club was closing in on me. I had to get out of here.
“So which one you taking?” Thorn glanced at me.
“I’m heading home.” I stood and almost raced out of the clubhouse. I needed space.
I headed to Ardmore and checked into a hotel. I’d let another biker use my place while I was gone and I didn’t want to surprise him at one in the morning. And I didn’t want to be in my house.
I checked my phone as I lay in the bed, unable to sleep. All the hatred surrounded me—I’d killed those boys and nothing would change that. I’d done it for the club and now the club wasn’t my home anymore. Glory was my home, but I hadn’t heard from her. But then what did I expect after that chickenshit text I’d sent.
At ten in the morning my phone pinged. It was Thorn. In Ardmore. Let’s get food.
He’d just keep after me until he saw me, so I agreed to meet him in thirty. I took a quick shower and headed over to the restaurant I used to love for breakfast. Now it didn’t even sound good. Nothing in my life was good anymore. I hated being back in Oklahoma.
Of course, Thorn was already in there with coffee and food. He was the last guy I wanted to see. He’d have questions, and I didn’t have answers or the patience to pretend I did.
I ordered a steak and eggs. Thorn grunted and kept eating. Once his breakfast was gone, he scooted his plate back and stared at me, or into me. He had always been able to read me too fucking well.
“See you’ve fucked yourself up. Congratulations.”
“Fuck off. I don’t need a nanny.”
The waitress set my plate down. I sliced off a bite of steak. Damn, it tasted good. No wonder it did, I hadn’t eaten since sometime the day before yesterday. I’d definitely been guzzling too much booze.
“Those two deaths will kill you if you let them.”
I stuffed food in my mouth and tried to ignore him.
“She called me because you scared her. She’s afraid of what you’re becoming.”
Glory had called him? Fuck. I had screwed up. And I’d been past due to leave.
“What the fuck is up your ass? Spit it out—that’s a fucking order.”
I glanced across the table and laughed. “You can’t order me to get over this shit.”
“I fucking wish I’d killed them,” he muttered.
“I’m coward enough to wish that too, and that eats at me right along with the deed.” I pushed away my half-eaten food. “You were trained to kill. I wasn’t—you can’t begin to understand how that fucks with my head.”
“I’m a master at being fucked in the head.”
“Right. I know my shit is nothing compared to what you carry. Nothing as bad as many of our brothers carry. Yet, it’s still eating me alive, and I don’t have a fucking clue how to make it stop. Maybe it won’t stop, and that’s fine with me. I don’t deserve for it to stop because I took those fucking lives for the club.”
“The club is the kicker, right?” Thorn just kept pushing.
“Fuck yeah. I did shit for them. Shit that I can’t undo and don’t feel right about.”
“What does feel right?”
“Nothing feels right. Nothing is good. Nothing! I deserve nothing.”
“Poor Delta, feeling all bad and sad,” Thorn sneered. “Man the fuck up.”
I stood and dropped cash on the table. I was done here.
I hadn’t made it two steps out the door before Thorn was in my face. “You need to let that shit go—we’re rewarding you for what you did.”
Rage burst out of me. Rage at them rewarding me. Rage at Glory being scared. All of me burned in rage. I put all my power into the left hook and followed with a right.
Thorn laughed. “You got more than that?”
I punched again and again, then he got in a swing and knocked me to my ass.
“You blame me?”
“No, it’s me. All me!” I got to my feet, the fight gone.
“The club, then?”
I opened my mouth to deny it but nothing came out.
“What’s the club mean to you?”
“My life. My best friend.”
“That’s JoJo, but he’s got a new life now. What does th
e Brotherhood mean to you?”
I had nothing. Felt nothing. The kills in Vegas had poisoned my connection to the club.
“I don’t know,” I finally admitted.
He poked my chest. “Figure that shit out or get out. If I was you, I’d get the fuck out.”
Was he kicking me out? Now the club didn’t even want me. “Is that from the top?”
“Nah, you’re golden with the club. The top wants to reward you. I told them to wait and give you time. Jericho wanted to call you home a month ago.” Thorn shook his head. “Nah, man, that’s my advice—get the fuck out and don’t look back.” Turning his back on me, he headed to his bike.
Anger built and I had nowhere for it to go. I got on my bike and drove away, with no destination in mind. I needed time to think, time to figure out what I wanted.
* * *
I pulled into the Brotherhood lot at 10 a.m. Saturday morning. I’d asked Jericho to call a special council meeting today. He’d assumed it was so I could announce my decision, and in a way it was. I walked inside and noticed how full the place was. Over seventy bikers crowded into the main room eating breakfast. Nods and smiles greeted me, but I kept moving. I had business with the council today.
When I got to the council door, I knocked twice and strode inside before anyone had even moved from the table where they conducted business.
Jericho smiled at me. “Come on up here and join us.”
I shook my head. “I’ll stay here.”
Jericho frowned. “So what did you decide?”
“I need out. I want to retire.” Lots of guys retired after a few years. I’d been part of the club ten.
“What the fuck? You could be up here with us.” Jericho stared at me.
“I hate to see you go,” my boss, Rebel, said.
“Why?” Jericho broke in.
“I can’t stay.”
“Why?” Thorn was going to make me say it.
“I’m done. Those deaths in Vegas ruined this for me. I ruined this for me.” I dropped my head.
Silence met my announcement. “I move to retire Delta with honors from the Jericho Brotherhood.” Rock’s voice surprised me.
“I agree,” Thorn said.
“Vote,” Jericho announced.
No sound followed so I glanced up. Everyone had a thumb up. It was done. I was out. Numb and not sure if I’d made a good choice, I knew it was the only one for me. It was time to be on my own.
Chapter 31: Glory
Two months and no word from Delta. It sucked less every day, but I still missed the bastard. Of course, I hadn’t contacted him either. A girl had her pride, and I used mine as a blanket wrapped tight around me on all the lonely nights in Las Vegas.
“Glory, I need a minute.” My boss pulled me into his office. “I’m posting the new chorus line tonight, but I wanted to talk to you first.”
Shit, I didn’t make it. There were four spotlight dancers who stood on pedestals during part of the act, they were the stars of the show, and I’d tried out again.
“I wanted you to know I appreciate the hard work and extra practices you’ve been putting in here. I see your dedication.”
Yada yada...but you’re not good enough.
“So I’m happy to say you got one of the spotlights.” He smiled wide.
Had I heard him right? “What?”
“You got it, girl. You did it.”
“I did it.” I whooped and gave him a hug. “Damn straight I did.”
That night I made it home later than normal since a few of the girls and I had gone out to celebrate my new position. I’d made it! Hit my damn goal and I’d celebrated, but not so much I was drunk. Even all these months later, my lessons from the Remington made me cautious. I was okay with that. I parked and walked toward my apartment. I noticed his bike first—the sleek black Harley stood proud right in front of my condo.
Excitement danced inside me. I tried to remind myself I should be pissed, but honestly, I just didn’t find it in me. He wasn’t outside the door and that ticked me off a bit. It was my place and he’d just let himself in. Of course, I knew he had a key and I hadn’t changed my locks. Hell, I’d even fantasized about him being inside my place when I came home from work.
And now he was.
A huge bouquet of red roses was on my coffee table and a trail of petals led to the back bedroom. The pissed-off I’d been trying to work up fizzled at the sight of the flowers. I followed the trail to my room, where my biker lay sprawled on my bed staring up at the ceiling.
“And who’s been sleeping in my bed?”
He glanced to me and I froze. So much emotion swirled in his eyes and I crossed to him. I had to be sure this wasn’t a dream. He was back and I had to touch him, kiss him and be sure this was all real.
I climbed up on the bed and he enfolded me in a hug. Safe. I felt safe for the first time in two months.
“I couldn’t stay away.” He spoke into my ear. “I tried, but I couldn’t stay away.”
I just squeezed tighter, not trusting my words right then. What if I said the wrong thing? I had no idea what this meant. Hell, I didn’t even know if I wanted him here. Well, of course I wanted him, but did I want him if it was only a couple more nights and then he left again?
He sat up with me and scooted back, meeting my gaze again. “Why aren’t you pissed?”
Good question. But somewhere along the way I’d lost my temper in my sorrow and missing him. “I dunno.”
“You should be pissed.”
I nodded. “Totally.”
“You didn’t text me.”
“I didn’t.” God, all I could do was repeat him. Where was my brain tonight?
“You probably know I left the club?”
“What the fuck?”
“Or not,” he chuckled.
“Why did you leave?”
“The shit in Vegas—it was too much.”
“When? Why didn’t you come back?” I wanted to snatch that question right back.
“You didn’t need a mess, again.” He ran hands through his hair. “And I needed to make peace, and then I was going to leave you be because...hell, because I was stupid.” He laughed again.
“And you got smarter?” I inched closer, touching his leg, needing that reminder he was really here.
“You wouldn’t let me be—in my dreams, my memories, everywhere.”
I laughed now. “Yeah? You were haunting me too.”
“I found myself here, and I couldn’t leave again.”
“Again?” A spark of anger came to life.
“I’ve been here in Vegas three times, but made myself leave. I couldn’t leave again.” He squeezed my hand. “I think I fucking love you and I don’t know what to do about that.”
“Leaving ain’t it,” I shot back.
He gave me a smile. “Figured that part out.”
Then it hit. He said it. He loved me. He fucking loved me.
I jumped forward and kissed him hard. He fell back with me wrapped tight in his arms. The kiss felt right and suddenly I understood he was it for me. No one had made me feel like this, and no one ever would. He was the man I loved.
“About time you figured that shit out.” I swiped his nose. “I love you too, in case you hadn’t figured that out.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” I kissed him again then pulled back. “Welcome home.”
Epilogue
I hardly recognized the scene in front of me. What the hell had happened to the badass bikers I’d called brothers? They were all docile dads now, and I couldn’t be happier for them. Glory and I sat at a table at a Brotherhood party—kids shouted and chased each other—people laughed—Glory’s mom was at the center of a group of old ladies. She’d become the club grandma, helping all the families with little ones.
Queenie leaned over and kissed me. “This isn’t like the first biker party I attended.”
“Not even close.” I laughed, remembering the way we’d drank, danced and ended up doing it in the back rooms. She still rocked my world five years later.
“You missing your cut?” she asked me again. I knew it worried her that I’d given up the club, but I didn’t miss it. I missed the brotherhood, but not the structure. I didn’t want to owe anyone but my wife allegiance. My last mission in Vegas had tainted my love for the club. It had been a poison I’d had to eradicate or I would have died.
“Auntie Glory, show me how to dance!” Four-year-old Evaline tugged at my wife’s hand. The kid had Avery’s eyes and knew how to use every ounce of her charm. Glory laughed and let herself be dragged to where a band played. Ten little kids surrounded her. She organized them in a line and began helping them learn another move in the dance she’d been teaching them.
Thorn sat next to me and stared out at my wife. “You’re a lucky bastard.”
“I know it.” I looked over at my friend. “The luckiest.”
He nodded. “You doing good?”
He’d asked me this on a regular basis over the past five years. In fact, he’d connected me to a veterans’ group in Vegas who’d helped me work out the last of my demons. I’d never be good with the deaths of those kids or my buddies, but they haunted me less now.
“I am good. When are you joining the married mob?”
He gave me a sad grin. “Maybe one day. Not all of us are made for happy endings.”
“Bullshit, brother.” I punched his arm. “You just got to be brave enough to grab hold of what you need.”
“Well, I’m no coward.” He looked away, lost in thought. He shook his head and refocused on me. “What about you two? Ready to retire back home?”
I’d embraced my love of poker and it had made us wealthy enough to retire. “Not even. Glory loves her new job managing the chorus line, and we aren’t made for this kind of living anymore. And I have my veteran project—it’s only in its infancy.”
Get Away Page 25
