by R. E. Bond
“Hey, just start wherever you want. I won’t make you talk about things you really don’t wanna talk about, okay? I just need you to open up a little bit.”
His blue eyes were gentle, and it gave me the courage to nod, deciding to confide in him.
“Lukas and I were best friends since the first day at preschool. We lived in each other’s pockets from day one, but shit got complicated at the end of middle school. He got weird around me and seemed to find excuses to bail on our plans and shit. We slowly became more distant, until the one time I needed him the most and he completely turned his back on me.”
Hot tears stung my eyes, but I took a deep breath and looked him right in the eye, ignoring my voice as it cracked with emotion.
“My dad’s always getting into debt with people a lot richer and more important than he ever was. He lost a bet to some rich guy at one of his parties a few years after we lost basically all of our money, and we had heaps. He tried to win the money back at poker but lost all over again. He was already in debt to this guy and was well over his head before that night, so Max threw me under the bus to save himself like he has many times before. This time was different though. I’ll never forgive my dad for it, and when he dies, he’ll be lucky if I show up to spit on his fucking grave.”
I knew I was crying and probably looked a mess.
All I wanted was to reach for him, but at the same time, I couldn’t bear the thought of having someone touching me.
I closed my eyes and took a shaky breath to continue, the panic and anxiety clawing at my insides, threatening to tear me apart.
“The creep made a bargain with Max that all his debts to him would be cleared if he gave me to him for the night.”
Jensen’s body stiffened, and he went to reach for my hand but stopped last minute when I flinched back as if it were a snake.
“Fuck, Rory…”
Sobs wracked my body as I curled into myself, as if to protect what was left of me, but I kept speaking from behind my shield.
“Dad knew he’d rape me. He knew how horrible the man was, but he still tossed me at him because he only gives a shit about himself. Lukas came over the same night, and I saw him at my fucking bedroom window before he ran away. He didn’t even call for help, he just…,” I choked out before completely breaking down at that memory.
That always hurt more than the memory of the rape.
Lukas had fucking abandoned me.
When I didn’t flinch back as Jensen took my hand, he gently hauled me into his lap and cradled me against his chest, hiding my face in his shirt to let me cry it out.
I didn’t know why I’d told him so much of the truth, considering I was going to just work around the worst of it to shut him up.
I’d needed to tell him though, and I was relieved to finally talk about it as some of my demons went silent inside me.
I trusted him.
“He never told you why he didn’t help you? Or why he went to a different high school?” he finally asked, making me sniff and look up at him through my broken blue eyes.
“I basically didn’t see him again until I came to your school. It’s too late now, and I don’t want to hear his excuses. He gutted me that night, and I won’t ever forgive him for it. He has no idea how bad it was.”
“Who knows about this? Have you ever spoken to a counsellor or…”
“No, and I don’t want anyone else to know,” I warned, watching his eyes as shame and regret washed through him before he covered it up and gave me a small smile, making me forget about it.
“Hey, it’s okay. How about I put a movie on, and we can just stay curled up here for a few hours, yeah?”
I nodded, moving off his lap so he could set the movie up and grab more beer.
When he was done, he got comfortable on the couch and pulled me onto his lap again, hesitating before placing a soft kiss on top of my head.
“You’re safe here, baby. I promise.”
I wasn’t sure when I managed to fall asleep, but I woke up to Jensen carrying me up to his room and tucking me into his bed, sliding in beside me and putting his arms around my middle to snuggle up to me.
I fell back to sleep not long after.
Jensen
Fuck.
Holy fucking shit.
Caden couldn’t use that shit against Rory, no way in fucking hell.
I mean, even if she hadn’t fucking grown on me, I couldn’t make a joke out of being raped.
No wonder Lukas freaked out every time we started talking about basically beating it out of her.
It explained her nightmares, but it also explained her being so wary.
I felt like a piece of shit, actually.
I wanted to fuck her, then break her the good old-fashioned way by leaking gossip around school or locking her in an abandoned house all night to scare her.
I got the feeling that she wasn’t the type of girl that scared easily though.
If I was being honest, it was hard to stick to the plan after finding out the truth.
I mean, after finding out all the shit about her past, I felt bad.
She was a pretty cool chick, and I didn’t say that about many girls.
Sure, I’d fuck her if I got the chance because she was crazy hot, but I’d probably go back for seconds with her, maybe thirds.
That’s how cool she was.
She slept pretty peacefully apart from a few violent twitches through the night, but she relaxed again the moment I’d tightened my hold on her, making me feel like fucking shit all over again.
She shouldn’t trust me, but she’d contently fallen asleep in my arms as if it were normal for us to do.
I needed to keep my fucking distance from her, or I was going to be in fucking trouble.
I hoped she’d head home when she woke up, because I needed to go and fuck some other bitch to get her out of my head.
Might see if Lukas wanted to join me and make it a fucking party.
Get it? Fucking party?
Like, literally?
Ah, fuck. Forget about it.
Chapter five
Rory
Loud banging woke me the next morning, but my sudden panic was instantly calmed as Jensen’s sleepy voice rumbled from behind me, his arms pulling me against him more.
“It’s okay, it’ll be Ty. He said yesterday he might stop in this morning on the way to school. He can use the spare key to get in.”
I went to speak, but footsteps stomped up the hallway and the bedroom door slammed open, Caden glaring straight at me as he leaned against the doorframe like the king that he knew he was.
“Now he’s fucked the angry out of you, you gonna come back home and talk?”
“Caden…,” Jensen warned in a low voice, but Caden wasn’t having it, as usual.
“Shut it,” he snapped, keeping his angry green eyes on me.
I snorted, flipping him the bird without moving from my safety net of Jensen’s arms.
“Fuck off, Holloway.”
He looked ready to strangle me as he moved around to my side of the bed and gripped my throat firmly, but not painfully.
“Still got attitude, huh? How about me and Jense fuck it out of you together then?”
My entire body went rigid as his other hand went to grab the top of my pants, panic filling me as the air in my lungs went tight.
Jensen suddenly gave him a solid shove, surprising him with his outburst.
“Back off, Holloway!”
“The fuck, man? She’s fucking us anyways, so why the fuck…”
“She fucked you once, doesn’t mean shit,” he gritted out, and I knew he felt me jump at the angry tone in his voice, when his hand carefully rested on my waist for comfort.
“But you…,” Caden managed to get out before Jensen cut him off again.
“I let her stay here, I didn’t fuck her. Get the fuck out and I’ll meet you in the kitchen,” he growled, pulling me close to calm me more.
Caden glanced at my s
haking body and frowned before leaving us in peace, and Jensen instantly rolled me over to face him, cupping my cheek as he met my gaze.
“Want me to throw him out? Are you okay?”
“I might go and jump on a bus to school. You guys take your time,” I mumbled, intending on bailing from the bed, but the hand on my waist gave me a small squeeze, causing me to hesitate.
“Hey, I’ve got plenty of cars, so you can take one of mine. Meet me at your locker?”
I nodded, climbing out of bed and having a quick shower to clear my head before padding down to the kitchen.
I slowed when I noticed Caden and Jensen talking, but Jensen looked up and gave me a genuine smile, tossing me a set of keys.
I snatched them from the air with a frown. “Which one?”
“Camaro, babe,” he winked, making me roll my eyes as I thanked him, but inside I was having a fucking orgasm and singing a prayer to Jesus.
I headed down to the garage, running my hand over the hood with admiration before unlocking it and sliding into the driver’s seat, letting out a loud moan as I turned the key and the engine roared to life.
I’d never driven a v8 before, but now I understood why most guys would cut off their left nut for one.
I always thought cars like this were sex on wheels, but holy hell, I had a whole new respect for them now.
I gently eased it out of the garage and moaned again as it rumbled with power, cranking the music up until the bass shook the whole car.
I drove towards the school, finding Tyler and Lukas leaning against Tyler’s burnt orange BMW i8 Roadster coupe when I arrived.
I parked beside them and turned the music down, ignoring everyone looking at me with wide eyes as the whispering started.
I made sure to lock the Camaro once I’d climbed out, making my way over to the other two confidently.
Tyler grinned, his arms crossed against his chest loosely.
“No way, Jense let you drive the Camaro? He’s just out to piss Holloway off now, isn’t he? Caden knows that it’s one car that Jensen doesn’t let anyone else drive. Seeing you driving it will make him crazy mad.”
I shrugged, already guessing that not just anyone got to drive it.
“He’s already crazy mad. Woke me and Jense up and basically tried to drag me out of bed. I left him at Jensen’s because they were fighting or some shit, I dunno. Jensen just tossed me the keys and said he’d meet me at my locker.”
“You stayed at Jensen’s?” Tyler asked with surprise, and I nodded once in response.
“Yep. Caden can kiss my fucking ass,” I retorted, Tyler smirking at me crudely.
“He’s more likely to eat your ass, babe, but whatever. If he won’t, come knock on my door and I’ll eat it for you.”
“Charming,” I replied dryly, intending on walking off, but he waved a cigarette at me with a friendly smile on his face.
“Ignore me, I’m a fucking asshole. Come lean on my car and look cool with me, babe. We were just talking about the party I’m throwing at mine on Friday night. You’re coming, right?”
I cringed as I took the cigarette and lit it.
I didn’t do big parties, and I assumed these rich pricks knew how to throw a fucking big one.
Don’t get me wrong, I liked to party as much as the next bitch, but crowds of strangers made me nervous.
“How many people are going?”
“Everyone, but you’re our queen, so you get to hang out in the cool kid’s corner with us and avoid people, if you like.”
“I do like to party,” I finally mumbled, causing Lukas to frown.
“You do?”
I met his gaze and raised an eyebrow.
“Well, I like being drunk or high. So yeah, I guess.”
“You smoke weed now?” he choked out with surprise, earning a snort in return.
“Who said I just get high on weed?”
I had a drag of my cigarette before glancing over my shoulder as the sound of power rumbled into the parking lot and a blood-red Lamborghini came into view that I’d seen in Jensen’s garage that morning.
Caden’s Challenger drove in behind him and they parked next to the Camaro, Jensen climbing out and making a show of checking the Camaro over for damage as if he thought I’d take it off roading or something.
“Looks like you handled her okay then?”
I smirked, flicking the ash from my cigarette.
“C’mon, I’m a good driver, Jense, and I have a high respect for muscle cars and V8’s. Why be so surprised that it’s in one piece?”
“I’m more impressed than surprised, babe,” he grinned, jerking a thumb in Caden’s direction and turning serious. “Someone has something to say to you.”
I glanced over at Caden, noticing the awkward expression on his face, and my eyes instantly jerked back to Jensen accusingly.
“You fucking told him, didn’t you?” I hissed, a sigh leaving him.
“No, but I told him to fucking apologize for making it seem like we were going to rape you tag-team style.”
Lukas choked on his cigarette, staring at me with wide eyes.
“You told Jensen?”
Before I could take more than two angry steps in his direction, Jensen’s arm went around my waist and pulled me back against his chest, his lips tickling my ear as he spoke loud enough for only me to hear him.
“Please let Caden speak, and I’ll tell Lukas to back off, okay?”
I relaxed against him slightly, taking a deep breath as I nodded, but he didn’t move back from me as he leaned against the BMW beside Tyler, pulling me back with him as his eyes met Lukas’s.
“Dude, shut your mouth, okay? It’s not your business.”
“What the fuck did she tell you?” he growled, Jensen narrowing his eyes with irritation.
“The truth. Fuck off and leave her alone.”
Caden watched us suspiciously for a moment before he set his jaw hard, speaking firmly.
“I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t think it would scare you like that. I’d never force myself on someone. I figured you’d be down since I thought you were fucking Jense too.”
I glanced at him before looking away, shrugging slightly as I tried to look like it wasn’t a big deal.
“Okay.”
“Okay?” he asked with a frown of confusion, and I looked up and met his gaze again.
“Yeah, okay. I heard your apology.”
He looked torn for a moment, before giving Jensen a silent conversation and heading off to class, jerking his head at Tyler to follow, leaving Jensen and Lukas with me.
Lukas’s expression became soft suddenly, and he took a small step in my direction without getting too close.
“I’m worried about you, I really am. Did you seriously talk to Jense about it?”
I was tense but nodded. “Yeah, I did.”
“All of it?”
When I was quiet, Jensen spoke gently but sternly, proving I was right about him having my back.
“She doesn’t have to tell me all of it if she doesn’t want to. Jesus Christ, Lukas, let her deal with it in her own fucking time. Stop bringing it up in front of the others, too.”
Lukas seemed to be processing it for a moment before finally sighing, defeat filling his almond eyes.
“You think I turned my back on you, but I didn’t know what else to do, Rory. You didn’t know about the other players in his game.”
That made me frown, an uneasy feeling washing over me.
“Other players? There weren’t any?”
“Yeah, there were. Like I told you, you never let me explain it all to you.”
Jensen moved past me and scruffed him firmly by the front of his shirt, anger rolling off him in waves.
“Explain how you could walk away after what you saw? Give it a fucking crack Lukas, we’re all ears.”
“Max’s debts went way past that one filthy piece of shit. She was promised to more than just him, but I’d managed to pay most of them off myself behi
nd Max’s back. That one guy didn’t want the money though, and he refused to meet up with me. He wasn’t the original deal either,” he explained with venom in his voice, a shiver rolling through me.
His eyes were full of pain and apology as he kept speaking, my heart tearing open in the process.
“Max tried cutting me a deal to help with some of my mom’s debts to him that weren’t even that fucking bad, he just claimed he didn’t want the money. He thought if I roughed you up a little and some other shit, that you wouldn’t be such a bratty fucking child, then Mom would be square with him.”
“What do you mean, roughen her up?” Jensen growled, the pain spreading across Lukas’s face as he continued.
“I was meant to do to her, what that piece of shit did. He even threatened to kill Mom if I didn’t. Obviously, I told him to fuck off. I loved you, Rory. I didn’t think he’d actually let anyone else hurt you like that. When he called and told me to go peek in your window, I did. I had to make sure you were alright, and when I turned away from the window, I was heading inside to fucking kill whoever that prick was, but your father stopped me on the way in. He told me he had someone at my house watching my mom, and all he had to do was give the word and they’d kill her. When I got in his face and tried to get past him still, he told me if I helped you in any way, he’d get someone new to visit you every night instead of the once, and that’s what stopped me. I couldn’t face you after that, knowing what you thought of me. I was a kid, Rory. Max was super powerful at the time, and…”
I couldn’t listen to it anymore as I flung myself at him, wrapping my arms around him tightly and burying my face in his neck as I tried to hold my emotions in.
I wasn’t going to fucking cry in the school parking lot.
Fuck no.
After a moment, his shock seemed to wear off, his arms going around me tightly.
“I’m so sorry I couldn’t stop any of the hurt. I’m so fucking sorry.”
I finally looked up at him and gazed into his eyes.
I’d never noticed the guilt he’d obviously been carrying over the last few years, but now I saw it all.
It had broken his heart knowing he couldn’t stop it all for me.
