To get away from everything.
To hide.
To permanently disappear.
They weren't disappearing. At least, not permanently. That hadn't been his intention when he'd first hatched this impulsive, asinine plan. Hell, he hadn't planned at all, not really. His only intention had been to get Lee somewhere safe, someplace where they could sit and talk until she realized she could trust him with whatever secrets were eating at her insides.
And yeah, someplace where she wouldn't be likely to take off running as soon as she got the chance. He knew that's what she was planning, had seen the first hint of her intention when she'd looked up at him with those damn big eyes of hers back in the conference room.
He glanced out the window, at the small cabin and thick growth of trees and brush and rocks and nature. She could try running from here, but she sure as hell wouldn't get very far. Something told him that Lee—for as resourceful as she seemed to be—didn't have the skills to survive out here, not for more than a day.
But he wasn't stupid enough to think she wouldn't try, which meant he'd have to keep an eye on her. Just in case.
He turned in his seat and studied his sleeping passenger with a frown. He couldn't figure her out. There were layers to her he couldn't quite peel back, pieces he couldn't quite put together.
Quiet and reserved, yes—but more than once, he'd seen a flash of temper, of emotion, that let him know she wasn't weak or timid. She wouldn't just lay there and let someone walk all over her.
He'd seen some stubbornness in her, as well. No, she hadn't put up a real fight—not yet—but he had no doubt she had it in her to do just that when she wanted to. Just like he had no doubt that that time would come, probably sooner rather than later.
He'd glimpsed her loyalty, as well, had seen it reflected in her eyes when she talked about her parents, in the defensiveness that had crept into her voice and tightened her shoulders when she first thought he'd been laying blame for whatever was happening on her father. Part of him wondered if her secrets revolved around family. There was a sharp mental click as soon as he had the thought and his gut told him he was right—whatever was going on involved family.
Shit.
That meant he'd have to be even more careful as he poked and pried his way past her defensive barriers while he coaxed the information from her. Blood always complicated things and if this was family-related, one misstep on his part would make her shut down completely.
What Derrick hadn't seen yet was the sense of humor that Lee had displayed during the last eighteen months. The online Lee had been witty, maybe even a bit sarcastic with quick comebacks and dry retorts that had left him chuckling more than once. He'd felt a connection to that Lee, as they chatted during the long hours of the night. Sometimes about computers and programs, other times about current events or some show that everyone else seemed to be raving about.
And yeah, it still fucking bothered him that he'd had no idea Lee was a woman. All this time, and he'd never known. Had never picked up on it—and he should have.
Looking at her now, with her thick hair and dark lashes and soft curves, he had to wonder if maybe his skills of observation were starting to fray. How could he not have known? There should have been some clue, some tiny little slip of information for him to pick up on. He could sit here for a week reviewing every conversation, every interaction, with the benefit of hindsight and he still wouldn't pick up on anything—because she was that damn good. Better than damn good. Hell, she was better than he was, he'd realized that almost immediately.
And she was a woman.
A woman he'd slept with.
No, it didn't bother him that a woman was better skilled than he was—everyone had their personal strengths and there was always going to be someone better. But it did bother him that he'd slept with her.
No, that wasn't exactly true. If he was going to be honest with himself—and there was no reason for him not to be—what bothered him was that he wanted to sleep with her again. Not that he simply wanted to, but that he planned to.
Sex clouded the issue. It absolutely did. He fucking knew that.
And he didn't care.
And that was what fucking worried him the most. Was he losing his objectivity already? Had she somehow gotten under his skin without him realizing it?
Yes. And yes.
Could he walk away when the time came?
Yes, he could. Maybe that was the part that was really bothering him, because no matter how much romantic nonsense TR constantly threw at him, he knew the truth.
He swore to himself then cut the ignition. Opened his door and climbed out, slammed it shut behind him then opened the rear passenger door. Lidiya jerked upright, her sleepy gaze looking around in bewilderment before landing on him. She blinked, yawned, blinked again then stretched. And damn if he didn't want to walk around and tear the door off its hinges before pulling her into his arms and kissing her, right here and now.
He grabbed the two backpacks off the seat instead and tossed one over each shoulder, then reached in and grabbed a few of the plastic shopping bags with his left hand.
Lee climbed out of the truck, walked around to where he was standing and grabbed the other bags without a word. She followed behind him as he led the way to the small cabin, the plastic crinkling with each step she took.
Derrick dropped the backpacks and shopping bags at his feet, motioned for her to stay where she was, then did a quick walk around the place. There were no signs of visitors, no signs that anything had been disturbed since his last stay a few months ago.
Assured that everything was safe, he moved back to where Lee was standing, grabbed the backpacks and bags, and unlocked the door. He pushed it open then stepped to the side to let Lee go in first.
She stumbled to a halt just inside the entranceway, the shopping bags in danger of falling from her loose grasp. He closed the door then moved past her, heading to the small kitchen area that took up the front right corner of the cabin. He glanced over his shoulder and bit back a small smile.
"You weren't expecting some kind of fancy lodge, were you?"
"I—" She closed her mouth, looked around again, shook her head. "No. I mean, I don't think so."
At least she was honest. And if she had been expecting some kind of fancy lodge, one look around the cabin was enough to tell her she'd been sadly mistaken.
It was a cabin, plain and simple. A square building, thirty-by-thirty. A functional kitchen took up the right corner. A living area—a loveseat and matching over-stuffed chair, a rough coffee table, and bookshelves lining the outside wall—took up the left side. A woodburning stove that could heat the entire place and then some sat in the far left corner, it's exterior black from age and use.
A king-size bed, a nightstand, a small wardrobe and a dresser were arranged along the rear wall, tucked beneath the overhead storage loft.
The entire cabin was completely open, with no walls or partitions separating any of the areas. The only real room was the small bathroom in the far-right corner, just large enough to hold a shower stall, toilet, and small sink.
The cabin wasn't luxurious, by any standards, but he hadn't built it for luxury. It was meant as an escape, a place to come to when he just needed to get away. To regroup. To decompress.
To remind himself that he was still alive.
Lee looked around the cabin once more, her gaze finally settling on the bed along the far wall. She pursed her lips then dragged her eyes up to the loft. "Is that another sleeping area up there?"
Derrick bit back a smile and took the bags from her hands. "Storage."
"Oh."
He unloaded the groceries and watched from the corner of his eye as she stepped into the center of the room. She spun in a slow circle, taking everything in before she stopped and stared at the bed again.
"If you're that worried about it, there's a sleeping bag in the loft. Not that I'd recommend it because the floor would be hell on your back."
&n
bsp; Lee spun toward him, her brows pulled low over flashing eyes. "You would make me sleep on the floor?"
He placed the can of coffee on the shelf above the sink then turned and leaned against the counter. "No, I wouldn't make you—that would be your choice."
"So you expect us to share a bed."
"Not like we haven't already." He hadn't meant for the comment to be a blatant sexual pass but she certainly took it that way. Irritation flared in her eyes and she looked away, a blush staining her pale cheeks. Derrick expected her to storm toward the small ladder leading to the loft and go in search of the sleeping bag but she surprised him by taking staying where she was.
"This is your place?"
"Yeah."
"And nobody knows it's here?"
"Nobody. Not the guys I work with. Not even Uncle Sam. It's completely off-grid, run by solar and generator, when it's needed."
She eyed the small computer set-up next to the bookshelves. "Does that thing have internet?"
"When I want it to."
"Then how can you be off-grid?"
"You know there are ways around that—if you know what you're doing."
She turned back to him, a hint of challenge in her eyes. "And there are ways of pinpointing location, too...if you know what you're doing."
Derrick surprised her with a smile, just a brief one that conceded to her expertise. Then his expression turned serious. "If you're worried about anyone finding you here, they won't. As of three hours ago, we've officially disappeared."
"I thought the same thing two years ago but that didn't work out. You were right—you can't really disappear, no matter how hard you try."
Derrick pushed off the counter and closed the space between them in three long strides. She didn't back away when he pulled her into his arms, didn't flinch or even look like she wanted to run. She tilted her head back and met his gaze, let him see the worry in her eyes, just for a fleeting second before she blinked it away.
"I'm not going to let anything happen to you, Lee. And you're safe here. I give you my word on that."
"But we can't stay here forever. Even I know that."
"Not forever, no. But long enough to figure out what to do." As long as she learned to trust him enough to release the firm grip on whatever secrets she was keeping. But he didn't say that—he didn't need to.
A shudder went through her and Derrick thought she was going to pull away, expected her to step from his arms and once again withdraw into herself. But she didn't. She didn't move closer, either, or rest her head against his chest or anything else that might indicate she was ready to tell him what was really going on.
"Sometimes I wonder why I'm still running. Why I'm hiding." Her voice was quiet, almost a whisper. There was no self-pity in her tone, just resignation. "It's never going to stop, not until he finds me. It would be easier if I just let him end it now."
"Bullshit." He tightened his grip on her, let her see some of the anger her words caused. "I'm not going to let that happen—and neither are you. You're not a quitter, Lee. Don't try to convince me you are."
She pushed against him, broke free from his hold. "How can you even say that? You don't know me. You don't know anything about me."
"The hell I don't. I've known you for eighteen months."
"No, you haven't. That wasn't me, that was nothing but a name on a screen. An avatar I created to hide behind."
"Are you sure about that?" The quiet question made her stop. Hesitate. A frown creased her face and she shook her head. Nodded. Reached up and brushed a strand of hair behind her ear.
"Of course I'm sure. I know the difference between who I am and some online persona I created." Her words lacked conviction, betrayed the doubt she felt.
Derrick stepped closer, deliberately crowding her. Letting her see, for the first time, a hint of the man he really was. "Newsflash, Lee. Very few people are capable of hiding who they really are, not even online. Not for very long, anyway. It takes a special kind of talent to assume a role so completely that not even their own mothers would recognize them. And trust me, you don't have that kind of talent."
"How—" She stepped back, wrapped her arms around her waist and cleared her throat. Her chin lifted, just an inch, a facade of stubbornness that was betrayed by the doubt in her eyes. "You couldn't possibly know anything about that. How would you?"
"Because that talent is my specialty, Lee. I'm an expert at it. And it cost me my soul to perfect it."
Chapter Seventeen
It cost me my soul.
The words were laughable. A joke of some kind. At another time, another place, they would be followed by some lighthearted jest or reference to vampires or immortals or some other such paranormal creature of imagination.
But there was no teasing in Derrick's voice. No hint of laughter in his eyes. In fact, there was nothing in his eyes, they were carefully, eerily blank. No, not blank—they were void...of everything.
Lidiya took a step back, the action one of instinct, not necessarily fear. And maybe that was foolish of her, maybe she should be afraid. Maybe she was, on some level she hadn't yet acknowledged. But all of that was tempered by the certainty that the man in front of her wouldn't hurt her.
"Isn't scaring me somehow counterintuitive to getting me to trust you?"
Derrick blinked and just like that, the nothingness was gone from his eyes. The blue became more vivid, bright and startling after the eerie void that had been there only seconds ago. If she hadn't looked, hadn't seen it for herself, she would have sworn that emptiness had been nothing more than her imagination. Maybe it was, maybe she'd only seen what he'd meant for her to see. She was tired enough, mentally drained enough, to be susceptible to a strong power of suggestion if someone knew how to do it.
And Lidiya had no doubt the man in front of her could do it if he wanted to. He struck her as a man who could do many things, that was one of the reasons she had reached out to him. He was strong. Powerful. Competent.
But soulless?
No, she didn't believe that for a minute.
She'd met someone with no soul before, would never forget the icy chill that had threatened to swallow her whole when she gazed into his eyes. Would never forget the darkness that threatened to consume her with one single look.
Derrick might be a lot of things—in fact, she was certain that it would take two lifetimes to really learn everything about him—but he wasn't soulless. She'd bet her life on it.
She was betting her life on it. Not just her life, but her heart as well.
She unfolded her arms and leaned against the back of the loveseat, did her best to act nonchalant. "Well, isn't it?"
"Isn't it what?"
"Counterintuitive to getting me to trust you. Trying to scare me, I mean."
"Are you trying to tell me you trust me now?"
"I'm here, aren't I?"
Derrick made a small noise, a cross between a grunt and a choked laugh. "That's sidestepping the answer, Lee, and you know it. The only reason you're here is because I haven't given you a chance to take off anywhere."
It bothered her that he'd guessed at her plan already, that he'd been able to read her mind without even trying. Or maybe he simply had better instincts than she gave him credit for.
Or maybe it had just been a lucky guess. It was easier for her to believe that last one, but she wasn't quite that foolish.
"I could leave now if I wanted to."
"Yeah, you could. Doubt you'd get very far."
"Why? I'm not afraid of walking."
"Didn't think you were. But it would take a bit more than just a little walking to get anywhere."
"We can't be that far away from anything." Could they? She honestly didn't know. She'd fallen asleep, had no idea how long they'd driven after she closed her eyes. And she had still been a little groggy and fuzzy when she first woke up so she hadn't really paid much attention to anything until they actually came inside.
Derrick must know that because the cor
ners of his mouth kicked up in a grin. He walked over to the door, opened it, then swept his arm out to the side in a grand gesture. "No? Then knock your socks off."
Lidiya hesitated for a second then crossed the room and stepped outside. She took two steps onto the small porch before stumbling to a stop and staring. Trees, for as far as she could see. Big trees, their trunks dark with ancient bark. Gnarled trees. Straight trees. Trees that towered overhead, their branches blocking the weak light of the sun slowly descending behind them. Pine trees of several species, with heavy boughs and green needles. Other trees, their bare branches just now starting to come to life. The only sign of civilization was Derrick's truck, parked several feet away from the cabin's small porch. There was no driveway. No road. No sound of distant cars.
"Still feel like walking?"
Lidiya shook her head. "I—no."
"Didn't think so." He waited for her to come back inside before closing the door. "Might as well unpack and get comfortable while I fix us something to eat."
Her gaze darted to the small kitchen area, searching for the oven. The only thing she saw was a four-burner stovetop with metal tubing running out of it. The tubing ran behind the counter then disappeared.
"Propane stovetop. Not fancy, but it gets the job done. I hope you weren't expecting a gourmet meal."
Lidiya didn't bother to respond as she grabbed her backpack off the floor. She held it against her chest, flicked a nervous glance toward the bed, then turned back to Derrick. "Do you have running water?"
"Yeah, enough for the toilet and to wash your hands if you need to use it now. There'll be more when I prime the pump later." He tossed a quick glance at her over his shoulder. "Just a heads-up: the water pressure sucks so I hope you weren't planning on any long showers."
The Warrior: DERRICK (Cover Six Security Book 4) Page 13
