Kerry couldn’t help but laugh at that, and it got stuck in her throat, turning to a cough. She looked up at the clear blue sky again and realized that she hadn’t laughed in too long. She missed the feeling. Maybe favor wasn’t fair, and maybe she should just take it where she could get it and be grateful.
At her apartment, Val proceeded to pare down Kerry’s wardrobe to the barest of necessities—which, in Val’s opinion, meant the most provocative clothing she owned. Anything deemed appropriate for Sunday service at Shiloh Baptist was out. Kerry should have felt flattered over all the hand knits she was rolling into her bag, but these were things that she had made without ever planning to actually wear them. At least not out in public. The couple of sleeveless sweaters were fine, but the knitted tank tops with crochet details were pushing it.
“You took the time to make them,” Val said. “I don’t know why you’re making that face. They’re perfect for summer and a waste just taking up space here. Let them do their job by highlighting your assets.” At that Val grabbed her own assets and gave them a quick lift.
Assets. Yeah, right. Kerry sighed but let Val continue to roll. She knew arguing over this would be a waste of time she didn’t have. Instead, she threw in more essentials and changed the subject.
“So come on and spill it. Tell me what happened with Craig last night?”
Val’s eyes rolled up to Kerry’s now scarily watermarked ceiling. Maybe it was best she was leaving. That stain looked ominous, and she didn’t need her upstairs neighbor’s floor falling in on her.
“He was in and out. Literally. That’s about it. It was over so fast that I didn’t even have time to put effort into giving him directions. Not that he would have heard or taken directions anyway,” Val said.
Kerry frowned. “Well, that sucks.” Val gave a snort and Kerry couldn’t help but laugh. “Still, things looked so promising between the two of you when you left.”
Val shrugged. “I thought so too. I mean he seemed so enthusiastic when we were at the table, but damn, he came at me like he did those chicken wings. He was all about eating the middle when all the good stuff was up at the tip. And there he was. Completely ignoring it.”
She let out a long sigh, and Kerry grimaced, then remembered her BFF in her night table and dived for it. “Can’t leave this here.”
Val frowned, then picked up Kerry’s multicolored knit skirt. “I don’t think you’ll be needing it where you’re going, my dear.”
“Just shut it. You act like you’re sending me off to work at the BunnyRanch and not the local yarn shop. This conversation is stupid. And for your information, I’m taking it because I don’t trust who will be coming in and out of my apartment under the guise of repairs while I’m gone. You never know what snoops will be up in here touching things.”
Val made a face. “Ewww. You’re right. Take your vibrator, girl, and keep it safe.”
Val picked up Kerry’s already short denim shorts and a pair of scissors, looking like she was about to hack off two good inches.
“What are you doing?” Kerry yelled. “Not to mention you’re supposed to be helping me get the essentials for work and interviews. I don’t need these shorts made into booty shorts.”
Val held up the shorts and the scissors. “Who says booty shorts are not essential in this case?”
“You’re out of your mind!” Kerry said. “Are you sure you’re not still slightly hungover from last night?”
“Cute, but no. I’m perfectly lucid. We’re about to go on break at the center and you’re about to have a couple of uninterrupted weeks in captivity with those fine-assed men. It’s time to shoot your shot, woman. Trust and believe, if you don’t, plenty will.”
With that declaration, the image of long-legged, heavy-toed Erika came to the forefront of Kerry’s mind. Val waved the scissors again. “I see you’re getting my meaning.”
“I’m not admitting to getting anything,” Kerry said, crossing her arms over her chest. Then the memory of Jesse and how good he had looked in the kitchen as he cooked her breakfast edged out the unwelcome image of Erika. “Let’s just say I do let you go all Scissorhands on my shorts . . .”
Val grinned dangerously.
“If I do,” Kerry continued, “you’d better make them look just as good as Bey’s from Beychella, and they had better be just as magical, because I’m not sacrificing my ass or my dignity for anything less.”
Val held the shorts up to her head in mock salute. “As you command, Kerry Girl.”
13
What’s up with y’all? Why is everyone looking so tense?” Noah directed his comment to all of his brothers, but then he laser-focused on Damian and shook his head and grinned. He walked over to his brother and patted him on his shoulder. “You really need to calm the hell down, bro. You’re looking like you’re straight ready to square up.” He rubbed Damian’s shoulder. “And damn, you’re stiff as shit. I told you that you need to add more stretching to your routine.”
Damian shot Noah hard eyes. “I’m not in the mood for a routine from you, pop locker.”
Noah snorted, then stepped back.
“He’s just mad because I offered up his room.”
“Offered? You just gave it away. Why not give away your own?” Damian said.
“What, with me in it?” Jesse grinned. “You think she’d share?”
“Now is not the time to joke, Jesse,” Lucas chimed in.
“Who said I’m joking?” Jesse countered at Lucas’s butting in before he turned back to Damian. “Besides, it’s not like you didn’t agree to it.”
“And it’s not like it wasn’t an emergency,” Lucas added.
“It’s not like she didn’t have other options either. Besides,” Damian added, “if I didn’t say yes, once again, I’d be the fucking bad guy. Both of you, no, all of you always make me out to be the bad guy.”
“Do we?” Lucas said.
“Well, aren’t you?” Jesse added.
“Fuck you both,” Damian growled.
“Now boys,” Noah chimed in, and they all stilled. The eeriness of it felt like a voice from the past. Noah just shook his head and laughed. “Not one of you shitheads say it. Stay on topic and tell me what happened here last night. I just came to get a few things, then I have to leave for more rehearsals, and now we have another person living here. A female person? Looks like I picked the wrong time to sublet.”
Jesse shook his head. “It’s not like that. And don’t go getting any ideas. It’s Kerry. She’s temporarily displaced and the fancy prince here is acting like giving up his room, the one he doesn’t use, is a hardship.”
Damian shook his head. “See, the bad guy.”
“No, the selfish one. Your room is nothing but a closet. I don’t know why we’re still having this conversation. All it shows is how petty you are. This is Kerry—the least we can do is extend her help for all she’s doing for us.”
“I saw how you were helping her this morning. Looking at her like she was fresh crab legs brought out at the buffet. She had you up cooking and washing dishes this morning.”
“She didn’t!” Noah exclaimed. “Damn. Kerry Girl! Got that good-good!”
Jesse leveled him with a hard look, and he covered his mouth before he turned back to Damian. “I was just being nice. Something you wouldn’t know the meaning of.”
“Screw you, little freeloader.”
“Get in line,” Jesse said.
“Just be sure Kerry isn’t in that line and stays in the right bed while she’s in this house. Because if you screw this up and treat her like you have every other woman you’ve encountered, you could end up damaging a lot more than just her heart. You could essentially be sinking this business before it gets off the ground.”
Jesse shook his head. He was stunned for a moment, but dammit, he couldn’t let it show. Not now. Not ever. “Like
I said, this argument is stupid and a waste of time. Not that it’s any of your business, but I’ll say it again: I was just being nice to Kerry. Like Mama Joy would have wanted, mind you. Now how about you go and clear out some space in that oversized closet of yours, maybe a drawer or two, and make her feel welcome.”
Damian let out a long breath, and Jesse thought he’d finally gotten through to him when he looked like he was going to turn and head upstairs, but he paused. “Just remember what I said, Jes. Make sure she’s not in that line.”
Jesse couldn’t pause the rage that popped to the surface of his being. “And what if she is?”
Lucas’s head snapped around his way. “Wait, she isn’t, is she? Don’t fuck this up, Jesse. This is Kerry. She’s not one of the usual women you run in and out of.”
Jesse let out a long sigh, then looked from Lucas to Damian. His eyes went to Noah for a bit of help but couldn’t even find any encouragement there. “You know, you all can really be big-league assholes at times without even trying. Like, top scoring. So, you insult me and every woman I’ve ever been with all in one fell swoop while thinking you’re complimenting Kerry. Good job, dicks.”
He expected some words from them—if not an apology to him, then at least an admission of poor word choice. But they just stared and left him to think over Kerry, Erika, the girl from the bar who . . . fuck all, once again her name was escaping him. Blue. Dammit, he really needed to stop labeling women by location and get his act together. He really was a fuckup.
But still, it wasn’t like he was talking about defiling Kerry. Not that he’d ever defiled a woman in his life. And the way his brothers were looking at him, you’d think that was the case. And you’d think any of them were better than him. What, just because Damian had a steady corporate job, and Lucas was a respected civil servant with hella benefits and shit, and Noah—he looked at Noah . . . Well, at least Noah’s star was somewhat on the rise. He was about to go on tour and hadn’t been in and out of Mama Joy’s for handouts in the past year.
Still, they acted like if, and this was a huge if, he was to get with Kerry it would be a hookup. A one-and-done situation. As if there would be any sort of such thing with the likes of Kerry. They also acted like they had some sort of personal skin in the game when it came to her. The thought of the way Lucas had rushed to her side came to his mind and gave him an uncomfortable tightening in his neck. This was Kerry. Sure, he’d had his thoughts over the years, but they were his. He didn’t want to even come close to thinking of any of his brothers thinking of her that way.
“You know what? Let’s stop talking about this. It doesn’t feel right. This is Kerry, and we’re just temporarily helping her out, like she’s helping us out. It’s no big deal, and we need to stop making it one.” He stared at Damian. “You were going to get the room ready. I think you should before she gets back. You don’t want her going in there and moving your suits herself.”
Damian’s brown face lost a hint of its color. Finally, something to get his ass moving. His lips tightened and he nodded. “Fine. I’ll move some things,” he said, then got even more sober than usual, which for Damian was a feat. “But before I do it’s time to get real.” He looked to each of his brothers, then focused on Jesse after pulling an envelope out of his back pocket.
“What’s that?” Jesse asked.
“It’s our asses being handed to us is what it is.”
Jesse swallowed, but the lump that had formed in his throat at the official-looking envelope was too thick to go down.
“What is it, Dame?” Lucas asked. “Spit it out. Why are you being so cryptic?”
Damian let out a long breath. “It’s proof of a hundred-thousand-dollar home equity loan that Mama Joy took out and which, now that she’s dead, is coming due.”
Jesse blinked. A hundred thousand? Where would they get a hundred thousand dollars? Her insurance barely covered her burial and the due taxes.
“What are you talking about?” Lucas asked, coming forward and taking the paper out of the envelope. “How do you know about this?”
“I got a call. Now that she’s gone all I’m getting is calls as her executor,” Damian said.
Jesse stared at him now, and suddenly his just-past-thirty-year-old brother looked much older than his age.
“What does this mean?” Jesse asked. Then he cleared his throat, hating how stupid and small his voice sounded. He should be stronger. This shouldn’t scare him.
Damian stared at him at the same time that Noah came over and put a hand on his shoulder. Fuck. Was everything over before it had even started?
Finally Damian spoke. “It means we have only a couple of months to come up with this money or we lose both the shop and the house. I can’t sugarcoat this, Jes. She took out the loan because she couldn’t fund the suppliers, keep inventory, pay taxes and keep the house running. I wasn’t lying when I said this was a losing business.”
Jesse felt his world begin to crumble. “So you want to sell.”
Damian shook his head. “No, I don’t want to sell. I never did. I just don’t see a way not to.”
Jesse let out a breath. “Time. We still have time, don’t we?”
Damian nodded. “We do. Only a short time.”
“Okay, give me that. Give us that.” He stared at Damian.
Finally Damian nodded. “The rest of the insurance can hold the bank off for a while and take care of part of the loan. I’ll look at the books and see where more corners can be cut. But then it’s time to really get serious. This is not a game, Jes.”
Jesse felt Noah squeeze his shoulder. “You got this, Jes.”
“Don’t worry. We’re not giving up. Not yet. It’s not time to throw in the towel,” Lucas said.
Jesse wanted to believe them. Wanted to thank them for not giving up and for sticking with him. But this next big blow, it scared him. It made him feel the weight of potentially tanking the shop and losing out on what could have been financial security for all of them. What if it didn’t work? Maybe he should tell them to just let go and sell now. If they did, they could split the profits from the house and each move on. How could he expect his brothers to take such a huge chance and bet on a loser like him?
Damian frowned. “Stop it, Jes. It’s already been decided. We’re doing this. You’re doing this. So get out of your head and get your ass in gear to get this shop up and running. Besides, you’ve already gone and given up my damned room. There’s no turning back now.”
He turned to head back upstairs to the residence. “I’m heading up so I can make room for Kerry, and when I come back down, let’s seriously talk about opening the shop in the interim so that you can get some revenue flowing. If you’re going to do this, you need to do it, Jes.”
Jesse nodded. “Fine. And you’re right.” He looked at them all. “Thanks. But if I’m going to do it like that, I’m going to need some help from you all too. Remember, the name on the sign still says ‘Strong Knits.’ I may be doing the day-to-day running of the shop, but this is our place. Ours. Damian, Lucas, Noah and Jesse’s. The Strong brothers.”
“Okay, this is getting to be too much even for me, Mini Ma,” Noah said, then tossed a ball of wool into a basket across the room. “We need to get going. I’ll do what I can between work and rehearsals, but you know I’m only around for the next couple of weeks.”
“That should be all we need,” Jesse replied. “We understand you have to go.”
Noah’s eyes clouded.
“Don’t do that,” Jesse said. “It will be fine and enough,” he said reassuringly.
“Yeah, don’t worry,” Lucas said. “I’ll be in and out. I can help a few days a week on my off days. Plus, for now we have Kerry.”
They looked to Damian, who turned back from heading upstairs. “I just got this one straight, Noah. I don’t have time to pull you in too. Go and do what you were meant to d
o. It will be fine. We have Kerry, if this one,” he said, tilting his head toward Jesse, “keeps his head on straight, so to speak. All should be fine. It will be Jesse with the day-to-day. Plus Kerry, and Lucas when he can, and I’ll be keeping a close eye on the finances.”
“Not too close, though,” Jesse chimed in. “I don’t think you need to do that.”
Damian looked at him. “Like your favorite security blanket, brother. Like you said, it’s the four of us now.”
Jesse let out a breath. “Yeah, I guess I did say that, didn’t I?”
14
So, this isn’t awkward at all. Nope. Not. At. All.
Kerry was unpacking her life for the next few weeks, putting her drawers in a drawer that most likely had recently been holding Damian’s drawers. Blah. The circular thinking was a little too close for comfort, and though she could still smell the scent of the cleaning wipes that Damian had used to disinfect, she thought about giving things another quick wipe down.
As she reached into her bag, her hand hit a distinct lump, and she suddenly worried over where to stash her old friend. Keep it safe, Val had said. As if anywhere here in this house with Jesse just down the hall was safe. She was going to lose her mind thinking of him and it, and worrying over the sound traveling through the walls. Shit, maybe she should have left it back at her place. But then she’d only worry about the firefighters in her apartment finding it and playing a quick game of toss the vibrator. Kerry shook her head and decided she’d keep it with the rest of her personal feminine products. Not that any of the guys probably cared about peeking in on her life, but if they did, one look at the bag with her extra-long ultra-thin winged pads, plus tampons, and they were sure to not venture further in their explorings. Kerry slammed the drawer shut. This was ridiculous. She was going on twenty-seven and now had to consider these things? Living with boys was stupid.
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